So as I was leaving calculus class (ughh....whole different topic with my quit, some know! Lol) anyways, I was back at the same campus and was driving home and passed a gas station that reminded me of the day I came close to losing my quit 11 months in.....It was all in all a horrible day, almost got killed a few times in traffic, was dealing with depression episode, and it was the day before my daughter had been stillborn years prior, but you never forget. I posted something before class about having a hard time wanting to smoke, then of course psychology and they had to talk about development in womb, of all days, It took everything not to walk out and when I left I didn't care about my quit or what breaking my quit would cause, I knew if I had one cigarette, that would be it, I would it and I wouldn't stop again! I just didn't care at that moment. I stopped at the gas station and I had all plans to go buy a pack. I sat there I went in got some snacks and walked out and sat about to go back in I posted an SOS, I couldn't stop crying but eventually I left but I had a 45 minute drive and stopped a couple times and read, replied and I was a mess. This was the first anniversary I was a non smoker and it was hell, but what I remember is the caring, non judgemental, and understanding posts. I really wasn't sure I would make it through the night or the next few weeks but I did, I'm writing this in case someone may need to hear that SOS's really can help. No smoking won't make it better, no matter what your dealing with but it can be hard to see that and when you post an SOS there are people who will help you see clearly again. It's now been over a year and half from my quit date.