Mee

Congratulations on 8 months. Definitely sounds like you've got this.

I use to drive a big school bus and could not do so with panic attacks. I chose to take medication. I take clonazepam a half in the morning and half at night. It does not make me feel groggy and I think by continually taking it, it keeps them at bay. You might talk to your physician.

My life. Distraction! I get terrible panic attacks. Deep breath. Those deep breaths feel so good when you quit smoking. Don't laugh but I sing to myself (though my husband always asks me what happened to the money for the lessons)? Hang in there, this too shall pass.

Nope. Will never forget coming home from driving bus at 9:00 in the morning. Turning on the news and watching it unfold. I woke my son and we watched the towers fall together. At first disbelief, then the reality of it all. That somber feeling will never go away.

Christa, If I remember correctly, you have also lost a step child. My heart goes out to you and your family. You must be a pillar of strength. I know you are just starting you quit but if we hang together hopefully we will achieve success together. Thanks so much for your words of support.

I do feel pretty amazed I haven't given into that smoke. Brilliant and Strong are pretty big shoes to fill but I am working on it. Happiness will be living the rest of my life smoke free. Thanks so much for all your words of encouragement. You are some pretty amazing people

Praying for all you in her path. I have a nephew in Raleigh. It just seems like there is so much more devastation with the weather than there used to be.

8 mos! Fantastic. Keep on going.

Way to go. Stay strong and keep going.

Any time you need a shoulder I am here! It is crazy taking care of them. It is hard to see them act like children but you can understand them being fearful of losing the control over their lives.

Doreen, I am so sorry for that. We have been helping my neighbor across the street who's husband has the same. A very difficult journey. I can tell you are a very strong and uplifting person. You are definitely an encouraging and bright spot on this site. I am adding you both to my prayers. Thanks so much for your encouragement and help. Part of not giving into that quit is not wanting to disappoint my cheering section!

My parents aren't quite ready for hospice but I do know it is on the horizon with my dad. He is stage 4 kidney failure and they would not do dialysis because of his age. I know the falling has a lot to do with the water he is retaining in his legs. I do appreciate your advice and support. We have actually planned a vacation in October and we are coming to Indiana. Let me know of any exciting places to visit. Believe it or not, we take my parents to the Hollywood Casino. We drop them off with their scooters and the people there babysit them for a week. My husband and I laugh at this but figure they must lose a lot of money for the care they get. The hosts even help pick my dad up off the toilet because he cannot do it himself. Better care than he got in the nursing home.

My ass is ready and waiting. My problems seem small when I think you went through the illness of a child. My heart goes out to you. I am glad she is doing well. So thankful you are there to listen to me whine and throw out suggestions and support. Thanks so much.

I've tried and can't. I put my foot down a few months ago and they got mad at us and would not speak to us......until mom became very ill and called for us to get an ambulance. She ended up in the hospital for weeks and then dad had to be taken care of. I have too soft of a heart. I have gotten nurses and therapist in to help but they ignore there advice and resent their interference. The hospitals just want you out as soon as possible. It has a lot to do with insurance. I did get my dad into a rehab/nursing facility for a while but was not at all pleased with the care. My parents do have the funds to pay for assistance but won't. I love your hug. I'll take all of those I can get. You guys are just going to have to keep trying to toughen me up.

My one brother lives in the same community but could care less. I called my other brother, who lives in California, and his attitude was "Well you will be compensated when they die". He does get angry over my mom's compulsiveness and that she won't make the upstairs bathroom handicap accessible. He suggested I take my dad to the YMCA? There is no way we can change anything. If you don't fold the toilet paper to a point when you are done, my mom goes berserk. She has over 100 perfume bottles, in there, that she has collected over the years that she sits on her rollator and polishes every day. My dad won't go against her because she will complain and make him suffer. Oh my goodness, my problems seem so small knowing that you went through the illness of a child. I could not imagine how difficult that was. I do hope your child has come through it all and is well. I admire your strength and am grateful for your advice. "

Still hanging in though. It was a very taxing week. My single son was moving to a new home and of course we felt we had to be there to help. Then the usual weekly event of my 90 year old dad falling in his home. This time he hit his head and knocked himself out and took my 85 year old mom down with him. Then there is the usual lecture from the paramedics and police that I need to get home heath care in there to encourage them out of there home. (which I have done and my parents refuse). Then the argument trying to encourage my parents to go to the hospital. They are both on medicine that could cause an internal bleed and should be checked out. Then (the guilt I feel) because they check out enough that they send them home again. I internally wish that this would be the one that does enough damage to force them out. My dad has so many cuts on his arms from all the falls and I have tried to get a home heath care nurse in to dress them but he refuses and wants only me to wrap them. Then there is the hygiene. My dad stinks. My mom has an obsession with her upstairs bathroom being too pretty to use, so she wants him to shower in the basement. She can't do it and of course wants me or my husband to help. I am tired, I lay in bed at night trying to think of ways to make it easier. The anxiety is too much and my husband and I find ourselves losing patience with each other. I suppose I could go on forever but venting is kind of helping. You say I need to celebrate my quit and do something for myself but I never seem to find time for that. I can't even think of anything that I truly think I want but a little help with handling all this. My brothers are worthless. Okay, I vented. Did not smoke and am going to bed. Hopefully I will have a new outlook tomorrow.

Congratulations! Wow five years. Your are an inspiration to us newbies.

Nope because......

Christa. grief is a tough one for me also. I lost my brother suddenly last year. There was a lot of family drama with this brother. My parents disowned him for joining the Marines when he was 19 years old. My parents treated him horribly and he grieved that in the end of his life. He dulled his pain by drinking. I spent many hours talking to him and trying to get him to understand the dysfunction of the family but he was so hurt. He died alone in his home. I have to take care of these two uncaring parents now. My mother is mad that she did not get a piece of his ashes (though she refused to go to her own son's funeral) and says she would have gone and saved him if she knew of the circumstance. Bull****. My parents raised me Christian but certainly do not follow the teachings. I've given up trying to make them see the error of their ways and realize it does no good but it makes me sick when they talk about it. I am in the early stages of my quit and they are definitely my most dangerous trigger. I leave their home many times downtrodden and ready to give in to my quit. My parents do not deserve the love and care that they receive from me and I've often thought I should stop so that I can keep my sanity but I can't because I am too caring. I have tried to set my brain pattern to believe that If I smoke, I am doing what my brother did by killing himself by drinking. I walk out of their house thinking I am not going to let them win by making me feel worthless. I guess I have unloaded quite a bit trying to comfort you, I am sorry for that. I will pray for you Christa because grief is a healing process. Try very hard to separate your quit while you are healing.