SneakyTurtle

Thanks for the welcomes! I know I don't need those last two, but I also know my head. The biggest obstacle is the bargaining and I need to go through the ritual of that last cigarette. Had my last one at work, I'll have the last one in my car, and then the final one after a meal. It's soooo mental. Of course, that's what kept me smoking all these years. Even the times that I quit and I make to 30 days or 6 months, I can't blame that on the nicotine in my system, it's straight up mental and me bargaining with myself. I am no longer willing to bargain away my freedom, health and money to myself anymore! I need to come up with a Mantra. I find it super handy for me in trying times. Because I love to bargain so much, I was thinking "No More Bargaining" I found this quote earlier and loved it. "I hereby release any need to smoke and accept smoke free life with open arms."

I have been wanting to quit for years, story of most smoker's lives, and for some reason I woke up this morning and said, "Today is the day." Every other time I have quit, it has been a thought out, planned event. I thought about the date for weeks/months sometimes. I am not sure if this is going to be good because it's different or if I'll fall flat on my face, but it's worth a shot! I am posting here to keep myself accountable. I told my two closest friends and that is it so far. I had the thought that I wouldn't tell anyone because then when I fail I am only disappointing myself. DuH! I need to get rid of that kind of thinking so I immediately sent them messages to tell them it's time, downloaded a quit smoking app and registered here. I even made post it notes on my computer desktop with tips, statistics, reasons for quitting and just random inspirational quotes. I'm going on lunch to the store to get some celery, carrots and hopefully chopped peppers. So even though it seems I was not prepared, I've been through this enough times to know what helps me out. It's been a long time coming and I feel more ready than ever at this moment. So, I have 2 smokes left. I plan to have one before lunch and then my final one after lunch. I usually feel dread at the thought of never smoking again. Right now, I feel excitement and I am keeping those long term thoughts away. Let's do this!!!