DianeCz

Just thought I would say hi. It is almost 3 years since I stopped smoking, the time has flown. I smoked for 42 years. This is possibly my greatest achievement, please stick at it, sending love and cuddles to anyone who needs them xxx

Hi Pearlie, Sending great big cuddles and many congratulations to you, well done, I hope you are celebrating today, what an achievement.xxx

Hi Vinno, you haven't a clue who I am, but I am sending very many congratulations and kisses, do something fabulous today! Well done you!

Hi Doreen, I am a tad concerned about this as my cousins husband is going. He isn't a trouble maker, but our UK fan reputation... well, hope all is good.

Oh, now I realize how much I have missed you all, kisses, cuddles, hugs, and more kisses xxx

Well done you! life is so much easier without having to have your fix, and so much nicer, look around you, there is a wonderful world out there! Enjoy, Enjoy, enjoy!

Hi all, and thank you so much for all your kind words, am so pleased to have found my old friends and look forward to making new friends, mummy cuddles all round! I will just get you up to date with what I have been up to, we did a month in Thailand Nov/ Dec. That was pretty hard going at times, mainly because the hotel I had chosen was way up a massive and very steep hill into the rain forest, and with the heat I would find myself gasping for air, sometimes when we got back to our room I would just throw my bag on the bed and walk into the shower fully clothed! then start to take my clothes off once my heart had stopped pounding. We have booked to go back this year, but to a flatter place, so we will do lots of walking looking for butterflies and flowers and gorgeous things. We have just got back from 2 weeks in Gozo, which is a little island just of Malta, right in the middle of the Mediterranean sea. The hotel was on top of a hill with amazing views down valley to the sea, we went on long walks of 6 and 8 miles through terraced fields and beautiful, very quiet country side, almost no cars, and just birdsong. Yes it was all down hill, but a long way down hill, and we didn't sit down until we got to our destination, which was always a beach. Now, you may ask yourself why I am bragging about stuff like this. Two reasons, 1, I couldn't have done this when I smoked, I would have been sitting down every 20 mins to catch my breath, and going through the motions of fannying around in my bag to find cigarettes and lighter, which now I can see must have been very annoying to my beautiful Colin, but he never complained (God! I love that man!) I used to smoke outside because I needed that fix, but it made me feel conspicuous, ashamed, dirty, and a lesser person. Not having to go through all the rigmarole of finding the cigarettes (I am a woman - I have loads of stuff in my bag, so I could be hunting for ages,) lighting one up, finding that lighter doesn't work, looking for another and then smoking it so fast with deep drags that I must have looked totally ridiculous. Not smoking has given me so much more time to enjoy everything, and not having the stress and pressure of having to slope off and find a "secret" place to have my fix. It is lovely not smoking! the freedom is amazing, so much more time to look around and actually see life, it is amazing what you miss when you spend all the necessary time needed to go through your routine, so much time wasted, that is a massive regret for me, I am one that looks at things others would just walk past, I make memories of little things, insects, the smell of lilac, art, architecture, history, I have missed so very much of life with my head stuck inside my bloody stupid handbag looking for smoking equipment,and sloping away like a filthy rodent into a cesspit of secrecy and shame. The second thing is the money saved, all the money saved has gone towards us enjoying life even more, what would you rather have a months worth of something that will kill you or a month in Thailand?. Believe me, ladyboys, Thai food and beaches will win every time, I also have a bit of a thing about Buddhist monks, they make me feel so happy. Colin will be 68 this year and on the 12 th July I will celebrate my 60th birthday, I never expected to see 60 to be honest, when I was a young smoker 60 seemed a long way off, and by the grace of God, I am still here, and will continue to drag myself, kicking and screaming to experience every single thing I can, because did you know this... I am now a non smoker. Oh, and by the way, when I said I had been smoke free for 18 months, it was a mistake, I have been smoke free for 19 months! Isn't life just brilliant! Sending much love your way, you can do this, you will do this, and then you can be as smug as me! lol. xxxx

Hellllooooo ! so excited, I was a member of qsmb. Today I have been quit smoking 18 months, so I thought I would send a post to them... but they had gone, but then I found Quit Train, and started recognizing names, especially my lovely, lovely friend Jillar, oh just missed you all so much. Here is the piece I wrote, with love. Hi to everyone, there may some of you who remember me, and I know there will be many people who were lost souls, living in a fog of cigarette smoke and laying in there beds at night wheezing. But now you have discovered this forum and you are no longer alone, you are amongst people you will probably never meet, but these people will come to represent some of the most life changing and influential people you will ever bond with in your lives. I love them all, if it wasn’t for these people and this message board, I wouldn’t be able to hold my head up high today and yell from the rooftops, I am 18 months smoke free! I smoked for 42 years, during the bad times I was on 40 a day, during the good times it was probably 8 a day. I can still remember the exact moment I had my first cigarette, I was 16, in a night club, dancing to my beloved Tamla Motown music, spinning around under the disco ball, young free and single, little did I know that was the last freedom I would have for 42 years, because from that day on I was a slave to cigarettes. It is only now that I realised how smoking dictated my life on so many levels. The freedom I feel today is sensational, and it is all down to this forum, thank you so much QSMB. In 4 weeks’ time I will celebrate my 60th birthday, my life could have been so different, it fills my heart with great sadness at what I feel I have missed out on, all because of my addiction to cigarettes. I am now waiting to see a lung person, the waiting list here in the UK, is about 20 weeks, I will not be priority because I am considered old at 60 (I am not old! I am a skipping and prancing bunny!) I am fat (I am not fat, I am a voluptuous temptress who knows a bit about life) and because I am an ex smoker and nothing that my over active and joyously bizarre mind can come up with, will change that fact. Yes I regret starting to smoke, but I have made the decision not to beat my self up about it, what is the point, it wont do any good, I have done what I have done, it is what it is, and now I find myself on a consultants waiting list, there will be tests, and talks and x rays et al, but nothing will change what I have done to my body and my life, my fault, no one else’s. I get a tightness in my chest that seems to be set off mostly by stress – I have mental health issues – I failed miserably in a lung function test a couple of months ago, it was so poor the nurse thought the machine was faulty (!) I now have an inhaler, but I don’t use it every day. I still go to the gym and nearly kill my self with the tread mill set to the highest incline, I push 66 kilo with my legs 30 times – I love that machine, it nearly makes me faint, and I swim for about 45 minutes, and I know I wouldn’t be able to do this if I was still a smoker. So, there is all this smoking related crap going on in my life, but now I have the freedom of not wondering when and where my next cigarette will come from, I have more money, further enabling myself and my gorgeous Colin to work through our bucket list. My skin is now really great, some of my few wrinkles have disappeared which was something I didn’t think possible, I am still fat because chocolate tastes so damn good now. My family are so pleased I have stopped, even though I had tried to be a secret smoker, I realise now I must have been such an embarrassment to them – my brother in law is a scientist into smoking related illnesses and condition, he has written books, is always on the radio and writes articles for the Times and the Independent newspapers, and he gives talks. I must say, he is rather ecstatic with me. I never smoked in front of my children or grand children. So, please put yourself through this journey (I hate the “this journey” thing but it works in this instance,) it ruins your health, people judge you, it upsets those who love you the most, it steals your money , it detrimentally affects every single bit of your body in ways you are not aware of . It is destructive and vile, it is a poison and a demon, it eats you away, bit by bit, subtly at first and as you age it gains momentum, I feel stupid and saddened and angered at my own idiocy, I feel enraged with myself. I am so pleased I am an ex smoker I quite enjoy smugly telling people this. Please use this forum, I couldn’t of done it without the wonderful people here. They care, they have been where you are right now, they will offer advice, friendship and support. You will develop a sense of belonging, a glorious feeling of positivity. You can do it, yes, you really can, and people here at QSMB will gently hold you and protect you, and care about you. Please do it. Please stop smoking. Lot’s of love and big squish cuddles and kisses, Diane xxx