Mike

-5

8

:rolleyes:

8 You don't have my category.

7

Thanks. That got most of it. Now where is the solved feature ....

I know it's not a popular subject but, I don't like reading through pages, that are 3/4 animation. It hurts my old eyes and I find it too distracting when reading threads. I can't find how to shut it off. I like the desktop versus, the mobile look. If the function is not available presently, can it be turned on, as it's PHP, right? Please, tell me do.

10

Thank you, everyone!

I appreciated the poverty of words and it made me laugh. I heard myself and laughed with this.

Well, I need to try. I guess you're thinking, "Don't try, but do". Excuse me, it's my post. Throughout my life, I have defiled myself through most ways known to man, by trying to eradicate or “live up to” the evil within. Contradictory, isn't it. Instead of facing and pushing against the foulness, I chose to run from it and by doing so, ran from life itself, however we know life to be. The spirit of God, Nature's adaptive process, Animal instinctual will to survive ... I have tried to extinguish, what is within. I have come to believe, that one can not do this. Life is inherent. It remains. It is not a choice. I have hurt the ones closest to me. The little ones that accepted me as I was, and needed me to be there, when I wasn't. My grandfather and father, who knew only too well, what I was trying to do. Here I am still. Instead, I have ruined whom, I should have fought to preserve. So, what remains? I “need to try”, to elicit the immortal within us. To turn and stand firm, to face the beast. I “need to try” to harness the forces I have pushed against. I haven't quit. I have begun. “I will do”. If only, through small leaps of faith.

Hello again. I am still smoking, but I feel I owe you all, some explanation. (thank you for inquiring). Here is a partial copy and paste of my response in a PM to a friend last night, that sums it up. Thank you. COPY: "I am staying off the main boards, (though the PM's are coming in regularly from friends, whom I talk with). I haven't been able to sustain a quit just yet. It seems a lie to post regularly, until I have. I am going to keep trying to kick-start this quit, until I "nail it". I am on the site reading lots. Once I can piece together 24 hours in a row, without nicotine, I plan to start posting, [again] (it's gonna be really soon)."

I will not smoke today.

Hello, Everyone. So, what can I say? It's nice to speak with you? Yes, that fits ... Very shortly, after my “Smobriety Anny” (Dec 01/13), the Major Depression I had been struggling with for ~ 3 months, started to manifest itself with an old familiar defence mechanism, of pushing people away, including you, by picking fights with people and being vulgar. I erroneously rationalized the fighting, by telling myself that it is alright, as I wasn't being a bully because, I only picked fights with guys, that I knew could hit back, (metaphorically). Of course it is still, inappropriate behavior. I am hoping the people whom I have fought with, can know that in reality I admire them, for having their convictions and strength. For the vulgarity, well ... there is no way for me to rationalize such actions. I wish to apologize for these things. I am not seeking forgiveness. By March of this year, I started smoking again and am quitting today. Although bloodied and bruised, know that I'm still standing and please do not worry, when I am not here, for I am busy tumbling, ............... “Down the rabbit-hole” again. Luv yous. “Down the Rabbit-Hole”- What Does It Mean?