abbynormal

Here's my 1430 unsmoked stinkerettes! Burn, babies, BURN!

Last night I got my ECG results in an email: abnormal ECG. Evidence of possible myocardial infarction (heart attack), age unknown. I can only take comfort in the fact that it must have been very minor if it indeed occurred. I'm scared out of my wits waiting for the cardiologist to call and explain further. I hope she doesn't keep me waiting too long. There is an extensive history of heart disease in my family. One thing is certain: I WILL NEVER SMOKE AGAIN. EVER. In other news, today is my birthday. The big 42! (Nerds across the galaxy will understand the significance of that number.) I'm happy to be celebrating it smoke free!

Time and tide wait for no man.

@Sazerac the Swedish Chef is my fave! My bestie and I used to sing "Happy Birthday" to each other Swedish-Chef style every year! LOL @reciprocity I don't even have the words for how awesome that pic is!

Aww, thank you, everyone!!!!!

Welcome, Dizzy! So glad to have you aboard the Train! 8 days is impressive! The first week is tough, and you've already conquered it. Way to go! The advice I have for you is to distract yourself as much as possible. Come here and read posts. Participate in the games--they are a fun distraction. Read up on addiction to help you better understand the beast you are fighting. Take lots of very deep breaths. Really fill those lungs with oxygen. Remind yourself how important it is to be able to breathe. Drink water to flush toxins from your body. And, most of all, rest secure in the knowledge that it WILL get easier over time. I promise. I just hit 10 weeks today, and I'm amazed at how much better I'm doing already. Time seems to drag in the beginning, I know. But eventually those smoke-free days will start to fly by, and you'll be amazed to see them add up! Again, welcome aboard!

Hey, March 13th is also my birthday! I'm honored to share it with No Smoking Day. I wrote the following on another post last night, but it just about sums up my quit and all that I've learned so far in the process... I've always been a "stress smoker." Time after time I used stress as an excuse to light up again, even after I had quit for a long time. But what I've finally learned about smoking and it's relationship to stress is this: Smoking doesn't help. Not even a little bit. Smoking ADDS to my stress by compounding my current health issues and putting me in danger of new (and worse) ones. Smoking adds stress by costing me money I don't have, so I can't afford the basic necessities. Smoking adds stress by making me cough every time I laugh. Smoking adds stress by putting me into a constant state of nicotine withdrawal. Smoking adds stress by causing me to have to hide my disgusting habit from others. Smoking adds stress by forcing me to face my mortality with each and every puff. You see, I finally figured out that I am more afraid of dying than I am of living. I just want to live the best life I can, one day at a time. And smoking just doesn't fit into that equation. Happy smoke-free birthday to me!

You've got to face facts

I want to thank you ALL for the positive thoughts and prayers for my friend. I'm a little late in doing so, and I apologize for that. But each one of you who offered your kind words did much to soothe my sad heart. ❤

Lilly, I want to address your comment because I know you are struggling. I honestly don't handle stress all that well! I break down. I have panic attacks. I sometimes lash out at those around me. I even lash out at myself. I suffer from Generalized Anxiety Disorder on top of my bipolar disorder, so every little thing feels like a MAJOR crisis. But what I FINALLY figured out is this: Smoking doesn't help. Not even a little bit. Smoking ADDS to my stress by compounding my current health issues and putting me in danger of new (and worse) ones. Smoking adds stress by costing me money I don't have, so I can't afford the basic necessities. Smoking adds stress by making me cough every time I laugh. Smoking adds stress by putting me into a constant state of nicotine withdrawal. Smoking adds stress by causing me to have to hide my disgusting habit from others. Smoking adds stress by forcing me to face my mortality with each and every puff. You see, I finally figured out that I am more afraid of dying than I am of living. I don't possess any secret knowkedge. I don't have superpowers. I just want to live the best life I can, one day at a time. And smoking just doesn't fit into that equation.

Thank you, Sazerac! I'm lucky to be here. And I'm grateful to have finally found the determination to get on the Quit Train--and STAY ON!

NOPE. Smoking is stupid!

NOPE!!!!!

It's as good as gold.

This right here is why you keep going back. You are giving the cigarettes too much power. As others have already said, the power is within YOU. The cigarette can't jump into your mouth and light itself. The choice is YOURS. We are all addicts here. None of us had it easy. We all struggled with addiction and the desire to quit. (Otherwise we wouldn't be here.) And we all made a choice to stop putting those sticks in our mouths and lighting them on fire. That's it. There's no big secret to it. You make the CHOICE every day...every hour...every minute...NOT to smoke. I believe you when you say you want to be a non-smoker. I'm here to tell you that you CAN make it happen! I'm here to offer support anytime. Don't hesitate to reach out. Love, Abby

What came first--the chicken or the egg?

NOPE. Not even once!

@Lilly it's probably a blessing you've been in bed all this time. I slept for about 3 days after I quit. Sleep can help you get through the worst of it. I hope you are feeling a bit better. I'm sorry you've been so sick! You will grow more confident in your quit as time passes.

I'm so happy to see you so happy in your quit!!! A positive attitude will take you far.

Happy happy birthday!!!! Mine is a week from today! ?????

Tough luck!

NOPE. Not gonna happen.

I wrote this on another forum today, but I thought it worth re-writing here, mostly because this is the biggest lesson I needed to learn to finally make my quit stick. I may need to re-read it in the days to come... I hear a lot of people say that stress caused them to return to smoking. I get it. I used that reasoning in the past, too. But it was just an excuse to feed my addiction. I see that now. If you think there will ever be an easy, stress-free time to quit, you are wrong. While we may experience periods of low stress, life will always throw curveballs at us. Illness happens. Death happens. Jobs are lost. New jobs are begun. Relationships hit the rocks. We move. We travel. We work. We live. Life can be hard. But it's no excuse to start smoking again. Believe me, I understand stress. I suffer from severe bipolar disorder. I was recently diagnosed with a rare autoimmune disease that can affect the heart and lungs. (I saw a cardiologist for the first time yesterday.) I am currently watching my dearest friend die from acute liver failure. (It's an extremely ugly way to go. She's suffering horribly. She's only 41 years old.) I'm living through one of the most stressful periods in my life. And I'm doing it smoke free. I chose to quit during a stressful period, because I needed to learn that stress is no excuse to smoke. And right now, each day that I remain smoke free, I am solidifying this truth in my mind. I am freeing myself. Finally. It's been an uphill climb, but every single step has been worth it. Don't wait to quit. And don't give yourself an excuse to start again. Smoking won't eliminate stress from our lives. It just won't. And it won't help us cope, either. Once we learn that, we are truly free.

He is two-faced

Don't get fresh with me!