Opah

I didn't care for him but he was agreat artist, singer and showman. I refuse to be a party to this money grabing assult of a deciesed man and his family. Weather he did or didn't do what he was accused of is irrelavent now, he has been judged not by us or our courts but by God. I find this whole thing horrid and those who partisipate will also have the day to be judged, I forone will not be in that line.

I have desided to call it a day here at work, the DC is so quite, machines are still and I am having such a hard time setting here. Need to be "all that" tomorrow morning for this interview. if all works out A job will not be one of the things i need to worry about, then I can deal with the Loss of my Friends and family. They say Death comes in 3s ? if that is true I am done with it for the now, Marky my younger brother, Bill my brother in law and Joe makes 3. Back to Deep breathes, and focus one the Immidiate "The Interview" God I miss being Young the Good old Days

Things are getting Better and Better, like this week end Family over fun, food, alot of conversation, and not one thouight about smoking. Death makes me want to smoke, when I found my younger Brother dead is when I lasped . Now My BHB Best Hunting Buddy Joe out of the Blue dies ? and yes I wanted to smoke. I did learn from my episode with my Brother althought it helped sooth my nerves and emotions it was very temporary and it put me right back on that smoking for no reason except to feed my addition. So with Joe I looked deper into myself to cope with not having him around anymore. I still need to take time to Grieve, I don't know, what is grieve ? I will miss him, I will have moments that his absence may overwhelm me at a moment. But I will also have him in the Mountains, in the early morning fog, beside the camp fire. So I am not sure if Grieve is correct. Lets just say I need to take time to say good bye, Love you and will miss you. I will be assisting his wife in getting herself organized and the whole clearing of stuff., Sho and Joe both smoked and I know I will need to be extra dilligent and stead fast when over there house helping. I have made some preperations, I am bringing my son in law and my daughter both non smokers and both strong supporters of me not smoking. so if I need a pep talk, hug or reinforment it is there. You know back around Christmas I was writing about how good things were going and all seemed so bright and wonderful the future was looking and then one morning I woke up and was sucker punched right between the eyes, losing my Job, Bill my brother in law, Joe my Best hunting bud, it is amazing how fast life can turn on you. Not much I can do about it except work my way through it, Pull my man pants up and get to moving things back in to the sunlight. Deep breathes, a tear hear and there when a moment floods in memory of Bill or Joe and new aventures ahead. Looking at the difference between when My Brother passed and now I am so much more stable, my thoughts are clearer, my reasoning sharper, my strength and self assteem provide me the foundation to put into prospective and pritoritize what needs to be done, how to do it and when to stop and breath, close my eyes, to cleanse some of the emotional clutter. I feel much better, the Vent has done what a vent should do. Deep breath and get ready for the final interview tomorrow.

YEAAAAAA Guys BAMMMMMM ! this looks like the JOB ! One more interview with the Owner and it should be a Done deal ! Love it so far, Fabrication, Construction, Engineeering, Welding. a bit of the Day and pushing paper seting up their OSHA and Safety plans, getting all into Compliance, YES YES YES. OK need to real in my optimizium, still have one more interview and there are two other canidates. Deep Breathes,

Don't kick a dead dog, just let him lay ! the past is gone let it be

Remember Hervy Villashe from Fantasy Island ? You know "Boss Da Plane Da Plane" Little guy He built some appartments just for little people in hard times to stay at for free until they got back on their feet. He named the Appartments Stay free Mini Pads ! LOL I crack myself up, GOOD MONDAY MORNING !!!!!

Looking like an early day for me, investors comiing in to look the DC over, my area is presentable. I ate of of the Roach couch and knew better stomach is Jacked up now so with my Face to face interview tomorrow I think I'll get home early, HOT LONG SHOWER, get all cleaned up and masculin and a Good long nights sleep. If you all don't hear from me monday then I have a new employeer and I will get back to you all soon, otherwise I'll be here first thing in the morning crying the blues in my cherrios. You all be Good, No parties while I'm gone ! unless a good opertunity materializes and then PARTY HARDY !

That song makes me Leak every time, not good being a dude that leaks.

The thought of being out of work at 60 terrifies me, I have had my fill of turning wrench, hanging upside down 35 / 40 feet above the concrete wrenching on some drive. Seems everything just got heavier like gravity increase all of a sudden, so happy I am back to not smoking I know it would be next to impossible for me to get hired in California if I smoked let alone at my age. Having a job that sucks is the worse, it draws the life out of you, there ain't no sunshine. so Here you go Jo

Our this one

Yes sir this is a special place !

For the short time I have been here i have noticed that this is a very well ran and organized forum. This is a direct reflection of the Moderators and Adminastraightors. Thank you for the quality job you all are doing !

Now six weeks of not smoking under my belt, got alittle wieght to loose, but otherwise i think I came out of this OK

I think I just Poopped !

Thank you two

Back to the Job search, Man at Least I am Happy that I am getting good attention to my resume. I know age is not suppose to be a contributing issue on being hired or not, but we all know it really is. Think I look good enough to Hire ?

I remember the JAC and good to see that most here understand the what ever it takes is good, if sucking on a sraw, pincel, pretzel or what ever helps ease that nagging I want to smoke urge its a good thing. For me it was and is Hard candy and I have sucked a long hard slow breath between my puckered lips on more than one occation. Thank you Jill its been a while and I really want you to know, you were, you are and you always will be appreciated

Help me defend myself !! I love Cranberry Juice coctail, and know its good for me, but the wife now my self apointed watch what I eat specialist says (Never mind) Just read the Label , SHIT, looks like another good thing I have to give up 120c per 8 oz, 4 servings per bottle = 480c a pop Wait a minute if I apply sgt Barney's Ideaoligy to this maybe I can make it work ? A pound of raw, uncooked meat can be up to 40% water - zero calories. 40% water, 60% calories (protein, fat) Cook off the water. Now a pound of cooked meat is 100% (give or take (not really, it still retains a lot, but significantly lower zero calorie water and significantly more higher calorie proteins and fats)). It's a calorie density thing. They are, literally, watered down So I have Black Berry flavored water Zero Calories, salt, carbs everything ZERO, Now if I add 8 ozs of Crandberry to 8 ozs of my black Berry water I can reduce the cranberry/black berry down to a respectable 60c per 16 ozs rather than 120c per 8ozs. I love this New Math stuff

Ok this is going to be a while in the programing, I got this thing that if I feel denied of something I got to have it way more thn in should. so i need to tip toe into this, little steps at a time, And Yes I must Keep my quit first so if it comes between a Danish or a smoke I'll eat the danish.

Wow Looks Like Newmans own products are very good in callory count, (Healthy) Salad dressings, Microwave popcorns, all seem to be better than the general products

OK need a bunch of veggies, can eat all I want and not worry about caloies, munchies , figure if I get myself as many as possible good low cal meals that I enjoy, I should be ok Why is fish supose to be soo much better for you than Chicken or pork the real white meats.

So I am already lite breakfast and lunch, so I'll need to swap to healthier chioces egg whites - whole eggs Lose the toast ? Coffee mornings and tea at night, stick with the splenda I need to eat a lunch, been not eating and coming home very hungry for dinner Yikes! DINNER i eat to much, and not the best stuff

Got it less is less no matter what it is less of

A little bit of Knowledge can really turn your world around, so I want to enter into this calculated not rushed, Smooth and not forced. I want to ease into this, let my body adjust bit at a time, give my stomach time to shrink back to what it should normally be. Portion control should be a natural thing, over eating was worked at and the stomach made to stretch.

Debating with my self ! Have a ICE COLD Micholob Ultra 190 calories or a Piece of Buttered Toast 200 calories ? Now I know why the saying " Its my Bread and Butter" come into being ! Shit a couple sandwichs could be an easy 1000 calories, thats like 1/2 the recomended daily calories for a full grown man