Opah

My heart is pounding, my guys are avoiding me because I will bend their ears with Hunting, the ranch. memories, I am just a chipmunk chattering at all in the forest. so full of excitement and to make things worse I have been drinking caffeinated coffee with a Sugar free Butterscotch shooter, talking about being ramped up.

Remember how easy it was to have fun when we were little ?

Sitting here at my desk scribbling cryptic notes on pieces of paper I will refer to later for my end of shift pass down. Trying to pass the time in a dignified fusion, counting the minutes till the prior shift goes home. for at that time I will be free to crank my computer music up and start to feel unburdened or encumbered . Seeing that the first aid room is off limits to me now and running around in my underwear singing at the top of my lungs would probably end up as bad as the Bubble bath did, I must reframe. I must amuse my self, I cant seem to find my go to make me smile U-tube video it a blond skinny UK kid waking up claiming out his window, he now has a happy face shirt and good morning sunshine is play, he is strutting down the walk and his Nana and grandpa are setting there with signs the say nana and grandpa then his friends and x-girls friends it ends with them handing him an envelope the says just to stand in your light, No, I didn't think anyone other than me would know it. Maybe if I locked the door this time the bubble bath would work ?

Now that today is tomorrow, and all hopes were for a better day tomorrow which is today now How Ya doing Girl ?

How many years has your mind had to make adjustments to the horrible and beautiful things you endure at work ? I bet it wasn't easy at first, I bet there were times you questioned if you could continuing doing what you do. Your mind has just started to evolve back to what it was before you smoked, it will never be a virgin to smoking again some things just don't come back, but it will become a memory in time, a reflex of thought when you are challenged. To save life's, to bring life's into this world is a wondrous ability, Rejoice with the good and be proud of you such a small percent can do what you do. you will master this, you will own your quit. I am proud of you and hold you up as my inspiration, thank you

Hi Deb: Not yet, we postponed the trip a week. worried about the road to the ranch being flooded and unpassable. This Monday is the get going day, Monday thru Thursday,. Man I love it up there, so many animals, deer, Turkey, wild Boar, quail Beautiful. Rolling Green hills, sections of wooded area surrounded by meadows. Wake up to turkeys gobbling and the thunder flapping of there wings coming of of there roost, the fawns will eat out of your hand just amazing place to be. Its going to be a bit different this time, only two of us and I will be in my camper by my self, so I will have a retreat if necessary. I am absolutely not purchasing any smoking or vaping products to go with me, so crave or not I will not have anything to smoke, ( can't smoke what you don't have ) Yes Jim it has been a long time and I am happy no one has gotten to spank you with wet noodles. You have always been a rock. This time around I have been given a real good reason and an inspiration to keep my quit and no matter what i felt about smoking I value my life much more. I do so appreciate you all and am proud to refer Quit train to Others. and also appreciate being able to come back when I have lapsed without being Judged, I hope to share in the inspiration and strength you all provide.

Damn, had it going so nice, hot water running, found some aloevera hand soap for the Bubbles. Got the softy music playing on my company phone and just as I was going to crawl into the Tub my boss walks in the first aid room looking for a band aid ? YIKES ! He got the full Mounty. Not the best Idea taking a bubble bath at work in the first aid room even if they do have a really nice tub.

A hot Bubble bath, soft music, aromatic candles, just drifting off. man that sound marvelous Linda.

My truck still smells, but it is a not good smell, I wouldn't say stink but it sure aint no bed of roses. Need to hit it up with some fabris no sent works for my hunting stuff. It has passed, just kibda figured that this type of thing was gone, guess not, at least I am aware of it now and next time I;ll be better equipped to Blow it off as a trigger.

Feeling a little apprehensive this morning, be pulling out tomorrow morning and all the second guessing is on in high gear, decided not to take my Toyota 4X4, uncomfortable with how much oil it is leaking, Taking my big 4X4 GMC Yukon a lot more gas but it wont even know it has a trailer hooked up. But what I did notice is the smoking area seemed very smoky this morning. couldn't help but smell it, it was almost like a BBQ on a rainy day you cant help but take a deep whiff. Kinda shook me for a second, tried to pretend it did not smell good to me. So here i sit working it out in text, I remember one time following a truck down the freeway because I could smell him smoking, does the smell of smoking ever catch any of you off guard ? Ok need to shake this off and get to work, just one more trigger I need to put to bed.

Hope this works

Thank you Linda

Tomorrow a new day for me, Found this song to be pretty inspirational for me. Not sure what everyone else will hear, I hear let go the passt and hich a ride into tomorrow. Jim Croce Got to Love him.

I know you have heard this a 100 or so times but none the less it is true. You are doing great and We are here for you !

there is Face time on the phone

heres the Cat funny

I know it is hard to amuse your self when you are stuck inside, Get a fan and make noises into it, sign a song drive your pets nuts. Turn up the Radio or put your Best Jam in run around in you underware singing at the top of your lungs. spend some time remembering how to have fun and intertain your self. If you have a cat I know one that will have you laughing so hard you could wet your self. (Cat people may not approve) But promise it does not hurt the Kitty Here you go start with this

Hey Dog it is almost 3 weeks now, I now I am late to the show but just wanted to say you have the hardest part completed, its no pleasure cruise from here but the nicotine is gone, your lungs are thinking about healing, the receptors in your brain are stating to shut down. Keep the Momentum and your eye on the prize , you are kicking butt ~

Thank you Jill It has been a while since I I have been able to get out, it is going to be 4 days of fresh air !

Yes in deedy do, all set Monday to Thursday, head out around 4am and get to the Ranch about 9 or 10am. Met my Cardiac nurse and got my leash on, a watch that monitors my heart rate , blood oxy gen end such then sends it ti her to check out. She was very interested in Quit train and you all, she was wondering how I quit without the patches or gum and I told her about us. we may see some newbie from her cardiac rehab. If that is OK ? i can ask her not to if it is not OK? Well I am Gearing up for this Challenge, I know I will have several triggers to over come, end of the day setting by the fire kicking around the days hunt, after the morning hunt while having that first hot cup of coffee. All will be confronted and put away, Ill come home 8 more days into my quit and a couple hundred lbs of pork for the freezer. This quit is some much different than the others, so much more going on, got my heart, my sugar, my weight, my beer, all the meds and ll the keeping track of it all really doesn't leave much time. I guess the plus to this is I won't be in no mans land for a year or so with all the testing and monitoring going on. My fails happened in the quite of no mans land. Over confidence, that creeping little voice whispering to me that i am fine and in control, putting the hardship and work i went thru behind me, forgetting what got me to where I was. In that silence os No Mans Lands is where I really need Quit train, all the good voices reminding me where I came from. The voices that will remind me what a liar that soft whispering little voice is.

Thank you I am really prepping for next week, be the first hunt since my incident. Four days, five nights to plan for, adrenaline is at a high smoking is not a issue no stores in 40 miles so unless I roll up some pig stuff I'm gold Can not smoke what you don't got.

Thank you

Well it is time to pull my head out of the sand and get back to the normal world. Starting to meet my triggers and having those Smoking dreams, Man the other night I Smoked and Smoked in a dream, my pipes, cigars, cigarettes and such. woke up with my lungs hurting, thank god I have the knowledge form here to fall back on. Triggers are everywhere, when I drive, when I work, even the rain will set off a craving. So Far I have been able to say to myself, no thank you not today and walk away from it. But it is now to the point I need to deal with it not walk away, straight forward address the craving and say NO and continue on with what I was doing. Got some Hunting coming up and I know there are major triggers there that I will really need to over come and remove. Life goes on after smoking and I plan on enjoying all that is ahead of me !

How's this ? I remember at one point I was using larger text and our members that used the phones had issues wuth the larger text. Trying not to Offend.