I've had the first medical appointment to kick off the referrals to a movement disorder neurologist to be assessed for neuromuscular disorders. We have both Parkinson's (five cases) and a disorder similar to ALS in the family. My symptoms are more like PLS (primary lateral sclerosis, which is what a sibling has) or ALS (amyotrophic lateral sclerosis). You may know of ALS because it's what Stephen Hawking had. My muscles feel as though I am weak and getting weaker. I have curious shooting sensations in my muscles here and there, stinging in my fingertips, and dizziness.
I hope it's a virus. I felt so weak today that I had to leave work early. I really wanted a cigarette. But we all know that cigarettes and smoking only make things worse in the long run, not better. To be more accurate, I wanted the "ahhh" sensation that smoking a cigarette used to give me after I'd not smoked one for a few hours.
So I'm having a mango cider beverage. Lovely. And it won't pollute my lungs. The 9% alcohol level is an "aha" experience. It won't make the specter of ALS or Parkinson's go away, but it's a respite for a few hours while I watch YouTube on movement disorders and treatments--which there don't seem to be many of.
"There is never a reason to go back to smoking, no matter what you're facing." That's what I'm saying to myself today and for the next few months as I go through testing.