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Sorry for not posting Genecanuck. I'm at the place I need to be to get posting again now.today is my quit day. As mentioned in previous posts it's easier when I've got my son. Got him till Wednesday night next week. Going out for a drink, which I do rarely, is a gateway as is boredom which I have lots of. I need to occupy my time when my son is not with me. The determination is there again. When you go back to it you realise how it makes you feel. Heartburn, lethargy and wasting money. Time to get back on the train.

Just a another update. I'm now at 1m 2w 5days. Sadly there has been 1 relapse day. This happened on the 31st August. A night out at the snooker with a few drinks saw me buy a pack on the way home along with a few more beers. I felt a massive pang of regret the next day. That was just 2weeks and a day ago. I'll have to change my quit date now. I have been having strong urges since. Need to resist as much as I can. Get through tonight and start a new week of work again. The thoughts don't seem to be there as much when in work. Sunday is always the worst for reasons I've explained already.

Little update. Coming up to 3weeks 3days in the next few hours. It may seem like I am counting the days because I've just posted that but that couldn't be further from the truth. Truth is I've hardly ever thought about it. I haven't been back the gym as yet. That's the next step. I'm wary of doing too much too soon and crashing and burning. I know the pitfalls and dangers from previous quits. The bravado that can bring you down. I've still got a few big hurdles to pass. The next one is probably the biggest. So I need to keep plugging on the way I am doing.

I dropped him off today at his mum's about 8:30. These are the days I would have been straight the shop for a 20 pack. Not today. Had a couple of urges before dropping him off. Low level ones. "I'll drop him off and get some bifters." They were batted away pretty easily. I'm feeling good this time around. As I say, done a massive quit in the past. This feels more sustainable than that one. This feels like 'THE QUIT'

Had the smoking dreams today. I remember these from the last time I went full on quit for a few years. At the start, about a week in, I'd have dreams of smoking or dreams of trying to get ciggies. Its like one of them frontiers you've got to get over.

Weighed myself yesterday when I went for a swim with my son. Was a massive, for me, 13st 12lb. That is massive for me because I was a regular swimmer, runner and biker not a long time ago. Would regularly do 10k runs. Its proof that smoking brings with it a multitude of bad habits. Not everyone will suffer the same but I can't exercise when I'm a smoker, my eating habits become fuddled aswell. Time to put the whole lot back in check. I'm heading towards 50 years of age. This quit needs to be part of a wider health kick. Weighing myself and looking in the mirror has given me that kick up the arse.

Well, progress has been made. I got past the Sunday. I've had my son since friday evening. My final cigarette was on the Friday just gone. It was a lot easier getting through the Sunday knowing he was going to be staying with me. I've hardly thought or had any urges whilst he's been here. I've got him until the coming Sunday evening 4th August. With kicking through this Sunday then a barrier has been broken down. The Sundays were always the hardest.

Nope to wasting any more money

Failed that one. Back for a more concerted stab at this.

Thanks for all the help again people, most appreciated. I will use the stuff you have mentioned when Sunday comes round again. It's the biggest hurdle for me to overcome. Something DenaliBlues said really hit home. In that having that ciggie because you think it will make you feel better and it actually makes you feel worse. So, so true.

I crashed and burned on the Sunday evening again. Seems to be a bit of an obstacle for me to overcome at the moment. Need to do something different this Sunday evening.

This place is a great help as it has been in the past for me. I just need to harness it with my own willpower aswell. Stick with quit train, the help off the people on here is great

Thanks jillar. I would prefer it if it was on the Quit Smoking Discussions instead of the SOS.

Been here before. Need to quit. Sitting here smoking now. Set myself a time to quit later on today. I've got my son then for the weekend and he's never seen me smoking as I don't do it when he's with me so it will give me the weekend till Sunday evening with him, not smoking. The time I struggle is when he goes home. I abstain every Friday till Sunday evening and then when he goes home I go running the shop for ciggies. Im at a loose end at that point. The struggle starts then. I've got the Allen Carr motivational books. I've never listened to a podcast but am looking for a good podcast series to get into. I have a gym membership I haven't used since going full time smoking again. I've had long quits in the past so the will is in there somewhere. Every single Friday he comes to my house I think that I'll carry on the quit. Sometimes I get to the Tuesday or Wednesday without having one and then I'll crash and burn and scurry to the shop. I really, really want to quit. The money, the hiding and the health are all the reasons needed. What else can be done. Ive been down the road before with a long quit. A massive quit for a few years. I need to kill this once and for all. Any tips much appreciated people. Sorry, wrong thread. Can anyone move this to quit smoking discussions for me?

I think we've all threw a quit away at some point. That's why we post on here, to share experiences like that. It's all about how fast we get back on the train. Make it a small blip and get straight back on. I had a habit of reading my Allen Carr book when I made a blip in the past. You need something to remind you why you quit in the 1st place. Keep fighting the good fight.

I'm now 5months and 11hrs in on my tracker. Still getting random thoughts. Wouldn't say it was every day. I can't even remember the timescale between them. I'm around smokers in work. They don't bother me now, I pity them after observing their habits and how much they need the nicotine without even knowing it. I am using them without them even knowing it for my own fight. I was one of them so the thought of having to feed the habit again is my fuel. The thing is I can feel my stress levels rising at times. I think we all get it. We have stress levels and the adrenaline rises. I actually think my rising streets levels and adrenaline rising is prompting me towards the ciggies. Maybe the brain is sending the signal as I would have had a ciggie in the past in the same situaition. Maybe its one of my final hurdles. Not to feed it in this type of situation. Looks like it's going to be a battle for life. Will the thoughts ever go? To anyone who is a few years into their quit, do they ever completely go?

I've been demonising it in my head for the last 4 and a bit months. Pitying smokers and seeing how hopelessly addicted they are. You take a step back and see it for what it is. I've had smokers say to me "I'm gonna pack in soon, yeah I think I'll do it after my holiday." Stuff like that. They see you have packed in and think they can just do it by snapping their fingers. Then you look at them and they're trying to cram in every ciggie they can, when they can. It's a hopeless and fruitless addiction. You gain nothing from it and lose everything. Health, wealth and relationships all badly affected.

They are the most selfish of people. Being a non smoker you see it for what it is. They want to smoke where they want. If they are in the passenger seat of your car sometimes they'll ask if they can have a ciggie, erm no not under any circumstances I don't want my car stinking of your stupid habit. It's just all consuming for them and they think they can impose it upon you if you give them an inch.

If you've demonised smoking enough in your own brain then it ends up easy to be around people smoking. You end up laughing at the ridiculousness of it all. When you see them running back and forth to their safe haven to have a ciggie. When you see the panic when they can't find their ciggies. The kids laughing at them when they hide away so the kids don't see them having one. I'm only at day 80 but I find myself laughing at the smokers now. There's a lad in work. When I quit he said he was going on holiday and when he gets back he was going to quit. He's still smoking. The first fight is with the brain. Win that small battle at the start and you're on your way. You need to demonise the act of smoking.

Their business is in getting youngsters addicted to nicotine no matter what the delivery method. Kids should be educated in schools about why they should avoid nicotine at all costs. Health and wealth severely impacted

When you pack in and stand back you realise how utterly selfish it all is. We have all been there. They feel like they should be allowed to smoke anywhere. As I say, we have been on that side aswell. You only see that perspective knowingly when you pack in. Such a selfish act being a smoker.

Yeah feeling better Jillar. I think last night was the initial big one. I think it was because I knew my son was going home yesterday so I had my brain taking that as a signal to smoke again a few days ago. The build upto yesterday had started a few days ago as I say. I feel better today because the urge to go and get a packet was batted away. It was strong, I must say. I'd had a few beers so there's the trigger. That's twice now after beers that its been batted away so maybe can take that as a positive? Reading up on the effects of nicotine on the brain at the moment so basically know that the body is craving increased dopamine levels that it would get from nicotine. It's not getting fed. Haha.

Went out Friday 18th August and got through that massive hurdle after not smoking for near on 50 days. These last couple of days have been my biggest urges though. For the reason I don't know. Since Saturday 19th I've had my 7yo son staying with me and these last couple of days he's sent me a bit round the bend. He's going away with his mum and bro tomorrow Monday 28th. I'm back in work Tuesday 29th so may go back the gym after work. The gym and eating well focuses me even more. I'm just a little worried with these urges, they've been pretty strong. I think my resilience to the thoughts is stronger now. Is this just a challenge? The dying dopamine levels through nicotine inaction? Must keep up the fight. Nicotine is the enemy in all its forms.

Hurdle cleared. Happy days. Onwards and upwards.

I'm now at day 46 of my full on quit. In the past I've done a 5 year quit but accepted I would smoke on social occasions. This quit is the end all quit. The forever quit. I've had my times in the last 46 days where I have had small urges associated with situations where I used to smoke. Tonight I am in the major associated situation. I'm going out for a drink with friends around a music gig. This was where I would have smoked in the past. This is the severing of it for me. I will not smoke tonight. The smell, the cost, the wheezing, the hiding away, the 46 days accomplished. None of it is worth breaking just to introduce nicotine into my system again. I have resisted all NRT because I know the addiction is in in the nicotine and being a former smoker if I use NRT then it will always lead back to smoking. I will keep the strength I have built up already to ease me through tonight's final goal. I have called it the first big hurdle. In all honesty it could be called the last big hurdle.