Edit: sorry, I was trying to post it in my own thread but with you on my mind, Julie. I relapsed after two years, was having lot of personal issues as well. Didn't solve anything. I hope you can find the strength to stay clean.
You know, I might quit sooner than I was planning. After all it's no accident I came back here. And when I compare my energy levels during the quit vs. now, it's like night and day. Plus all the other benefits like having a normal appetite, being able to enjoy food, being proud of beating the most powerful addiction of all (scientifically proven fact). Not to mention having clear skin and not smelling like dead body.
To all the people who are having a hard time: I was having a really difficult time in my personal life and I used it as an excuse to smoke. Used it as an excuse is exactly what it was, because I knew it won't make things better and it surely didn't. In fact i was heading towards relapse for at least 6 months: started romanticizing the smoking, stopped visiting support forums. Don't do what I did, I hope at least some of you who are struggling will get something good out of my relapse. It starts way earlier in your thoughts and when you can recognise the reawakening of addiction in your thinking process, and do something about it, it's way better. Because when you buy that pack, it's usually already too late. Bottom line: smoking doesn't solve emotional problems. At best, it masks them not unlike any other drug.