WeegieWoman

Congrats Rose, you have a great quit going, just keep going!!!

Well done slippy, six months is a biggie, half a year. Its a downhill jog to the lido deck now, just keep going. Ive prepared you an afternoon tea befitting of a posh kent boy so kick back and enjoy.

Could you glue her gob shut when shes a tight arse with her crisps?

I think raising the legal age will make a difference. When i was a kido i could buy smokes and alcohol from age 14. That just could not happen anymore. Theyve really clamped down on the shops selling to underage kids. The shops are hit with massive fines. So of course kids will still smoke but i do think its harder to get them now. They cant just go and buy them like we all probably did. And raising the age can only help that. I wonder how the kids get their fags now? Older siblings maybe? Who knows. This on its own wont stop kids smoking but it might help a bit making them less accessible for longer.

Good for you dd, you should join in the exercise thread. Im just heading out picking everyone up for Sunday dinner.

Stingy- tight with money or anything. Like ya kid just giving you the tiniest wee crisp if you ask her for a crisp. You could say uch dont be such a stingy cow lol

Oxters - meaning armpits. Normally said in phrase im up to my oxters in.... We say nipper too jo but also nip used to mean snog when i was a kid!

-2

I did consider freezing a bottle of water and putting it in my bed, has anyone tried that?

Whats he done?

Oh my fav, what do you order out the Chinese?

Em hangovers dont really kick in till the mid twenties do they?

Oh you are posh, i thought everyone first got drunk on cheap nasty cider?

Naw im aff it tonight, over did it a bit last night, note to self do not mix my drinks! Can you believe my grans sherry tasted good at the time?

Luke ozade sounds cool slippy! Oooo im not sure what is a man with cat scratches on his head?!

Russell!!! Talking of russell can you believe i once convinced a colleague that i had a family member called Russell Sprout??

Jack....what do you call a man in a pile of leaves?

Do you think our american and aussie pals get oor jokes?

Oi how di you know all my gags?

What do you call a man lying outside your front door?

You gottit slippy, you seem to know the same bad jokes as me?

No, i dont, my jokes are mostly poor like how do you stop a fish from smelling?

3 europeans come to America. They all get captured by native americans and they want to kill them. But the europeans beg to have their lives spared. The native americans agreed to not kill them on one condition: the europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit and they will be informed what to do with it. So the first guy comes back with a peach. The native american says "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass and he laughs, and the native americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The native american tells him the same thing. He laughs and the native american kills him. They both see each other in heaven and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach and peaches are fuzzy so thats why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?" The second guy says, “Oh yea I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!”

Why do you think the word apple is in pineapple?

Do you believe what they say about a goldfish's attention span?