Welcome, ceeray! As others said, we can all relate to the push and pull of wanting to quit and knowing it's time but still being afraid to fully commit. I came up with countless reasons why tomorrow or next week would be a better time to quit than today, but of course when next week arrived it didn't feel any easier, so it was back to maybe tomorrow. That can go on endlessly until you just dive in and decide that today is the day and that's it. I also played the cut down game to get used to not smoking at certain times/places. Maybe it helped, maybe it didn't, but you've already done that now so at this point it's only prolonging your misery. You clearly want to be a non-smoker and the only way to get to where you want to be is to put them aside once and for all and just plow through the difficult days to get to the other side. No one was more surprised than I was to learn that it really was doable for me (not just for other people) once I truly made the commitment and refused to allow for the possibility of ever turning back. Quitting comes with lots of side shows (like the yammering in your head telling you just one more, or maybe just one more pack), and some people find various quit smoking aids helpful, but no matter how you go about it, it's really comes down to making up your mind that you no longer smoke and that you are in it for the long haul, whatever life might throw at you. You can do this, ceeray, and along the way you can come here and read, talk, play games, laugh, rant and rave — whatever you need in the moment — and we'll be here cheering you on.