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jillar

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  1. jillar

    Mindset Really Is Everything

    By jillar,


    General
    babs609
    Quit Date: 07/13/2012
     
     
    Posted August 23, 2014 · IP 
    There have been discussions recently about NOPE and how it doesn't resonate well with some.  I understand that feeling.  When I was fresh in my quit the first few months, I wanted to believe those that have quit before me.  I wanted their sense of peacefulness and satisfaction with life without the cigarette.  I just couldn't imagine it and the daily restlessness that was occurring made it even more difficult to wrap my brain around it.  
    I tend to have a scientific mind.  I want proof of things.  I had a hard time just saying NOPE...
     
    But one thing I knew.  These people weren't stronger than me.  They weren't special.  I was not more addicted nor was my circumstances any more unique than theirs.  I have had tough times in my life..just like them.  So, I decided....I am just going to "go with it".  I will put all my faith in NOPE (blind faith).  I will eat, sleep, drink, laugh, and walk NOPE.  ( a few times when I craved, I would actually go for a walk and with each step, over and over I would chant the letters N.O.P.E, not one puff ever...smoking is not an option.  Over and over...over and over....(took a peek; no--still unsettled, still not feeling it)  so...continue...NOPE, NOPE, NOPE, NOPE
     
    Finally finally finally....around the 6th month..i started to really feel it.  I got it. 
    Doesn't mean I always felt it...the first year was a struggle at times...I'm not gonna lie...but once i "got it"  I knew I would "get it"  again.
     
    Just got back from a vacation.  I am more than 2 years quit.  Vacation was peaceful and relaxing...sometimes too peaceful and boring at times....those were the times i would have filled the void with a smoke.  Especially because the person I was with smokes like a chimney and was constantly out on the balcony puffing away.  My cravings this past week were incredible.  No weaker than they were 2 years ago.  The difference is...I know better.  I know it's a trick...I know it will pass...and I know I will be a happier, healthier person because of it.
     
    So.....I went for a lot of runs to burn off that energy.  It worked...I came back a non smoker...and 3 pounds lighter! 
     
    So you see.....it matters not how long you are quit.  There are people who have quit for 15 or 20 years who still want a cigarette at times....and some of them..because they are not educated about nicotine addiction...they actually stayed quit "in spite of" themselves and their thinking.  They think they gave something up.  When in reality, they escaped. I am grateful I am not one of those people.  Could you imagine refraining from doing something you desperately want to do for 20 years...day in and day out??  no....not me..and if that was the case....I would never have quit smoking.  I would have resolved to stay a smoker for life.
     
    It really is simple...it really is easy...and NOPE is really truly the way for me.  It really is.
     
    Easy peasy
     

     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/2399-mindset-really-is-everything/
     
  2. jillar

    Intentions

    By jillar,


    General
    babs609
    Posted April 2, 2014 
     
    Each month-I participate in running a brain injury/stroke support group. It's very fulfilling and I get such a level of satisfaction by helping these folks get together once a month to support each other, much like we do here. To some of them-this is their only social outing and they look forward to it. I learn so much from them; it's a very humbling experience.
    Anyway....the point of this post is--tonight we have a guest speaker. A Neurologist. She's talking about non-conventional treatment for recovery from stroke. One is mediation, which I love. The other is intention therapy...which involves the brain telling the body part to move. Takes a long time. Baby steps. Maybe you can't get the whole arm to move but perhaps start with the thumb. Studies show it works. I believe it.
    When I was 5 I had severe internal rotation of my feet. In laymans terms i was pigeon- toed. (For years i thought i was related to pigeons) I was teased horribly at school so my mom took me to the foot doctor. The remedy back then? Big huge ugly red shoes. I was teased by my peers even worse! I refused to wear those shoes after 1 day and decided I was going to learn to walk correctly on my own. I was determined. So for the next 2 weeks, I walked up and down my living room forcing my feet to walk straight. I practiced every day and I was always acutely aware of my gait and walked with intention. Guess what? I did it.
     
    That got me thinking about the quit. NOPE, smoking is not an option, one day at a time, there is no such thing as one cigarette, I am a non smoker, non smokers don't smoke, non smokers have stress too.
    All these sayings are done with intention. Way before you really even truly believe it. You just repeat , repeat, repeat until your brain finally catches on and it becomes automatic. The brain is a phenomenal organ. Used wisely--you really can accomplish anything.
     
    So....Listen...repeat it...believe it.
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/77-intentions/
     
  3. jillar
    Still winning
    Posted September 29, 2014 · IP 
     
    I have spent a lot of my time over the last 6 months watching quit videos, reading stories, blogs, googling. I have read about nicotine addiction and health implications and self worth.  I would like to think I am a reformed addict. So rewind.....
     
    I want to quit smoking but
     
    -I'm told it's so hard
    -I will feel lousy for months
    -I can't see a world where I can't smoke again
    -Forever is too big
     
    Then I joined a forum and took a sigh of relief. I don't have to contemplate forever, I just have to not smoke today. Phew! That I can do. This is what we/I offer you. Don't over think it. Tell yourself Smoking is not on the table (SNOT)for today. Not One Puff Ever (NOPE) just for today.  Because tomorrow is another day! 
     
    So many quits, (so many of my quits! were/) are lost through chronic over thinking - before the addiction message really has a chance to hit home. We are told "you will know"...really? I never knew, did you? 
     
    This feels like the elusive message. The one we don't talk of but why not?? We are afraid to quit, afraid to fail at the quit and can't contemplate a life where we can't smoke. This feeling doesn't last. Nor should you cosy up with it and spend quality time together as you will just panic yourself. 
     
    The truth is this, forever, at anything!, is far too overwhelming as a starting point and that's really real. So deciding to quit is great, do that! Not smoking today is great, do that! Go to sleep and wake up, not smoking today is great, do that!! Literally take one day at a time. All we have is "now" and tomorrow is not promised to anyone.
     
    Fear is no reason to not try, nor is it a reason to hurtle over the proverbial cliff edge. Baby steps, like you are protecting something very precious and take each day as it comes. Fear kills too many great choices.
     
    Don't smoke today. This day, this hour, this minute. Whatever that takes. We will carry you when it feels hard, for today.
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/2878-feel-the-fear-and-do-it-anyway/
     
  4. jillar
    Nancy
    Posted August 22, 2018 · IP 
     
    FILLING THE PAGES by Eric

    A common topic a quitter might talk about since they quit smoking, is the fact that there seems to be void in their life now. Now that they're not smoking it feels as if the days have grown longer and they are unsure of how to fill this time. Sometimes this can actually put stress the new quitter, because this is so unfamiliar to them.

    Cigarettes have been so deeply intertwined in their life for so long, that the new quitter is constantly being reminded that they no longer smoke just from everyday activities.

    They may ask how do they unwind after work now that they don't smoke? How do they deal with stress, now that they don't smoke? How do they punctuate finishing a task now that they don't smoke?

    For the smoker, that cigarette after finishing a task was like putting the period at the end of sentence. Now that they don't smoke, daily tasks can just feel like a long running sentence with no punctuation.

    The cigarette was also like the smoker's pause button. If they needed to concentrate on doing something or were under a stressful situation. They would step back, smoke a cigarette and think about how to resolve the problem. Now that they don't smoke, there doesn't seem to be a pause button for the quitter. That magic button that says" Whoa give me a minute" is now gone. Now they are just left with the situation and a very unfamiliar way that they now have to deal with it without the cigarette.

    One thing that should be pointed out though, is that we have lived our lives and dealt with stress DESPITE smoking, NOT because of it.

    There was a fellow quitter that was talking about this and it was really stressing her out. She was having a hard time dealing with stress and everyday scenarios without smoking. She was getting discouraged about this and felt that her life just felt kind of empty since she quit. She felt that there was now a void in her life.

    One thing she said though, that I thought was an interesting way to look at it, was that she said that since she quit smoking, was that she felt she now had to rewrite her life.

    When I read this, for some reason it reminded me of someone writing a screenplay about the day in the life of a smoker. This is what it might say.

    -----------------------------------------------------------------
    THE DAY IN THE LIFE OF A SMOKER.

    Dear (anonymous)

    I'm just making this up, but let's just say this is how your typical day when you smoked would look like.

    You wake up. Smoke a cigarette. You get ready for work. Smoke a cigarette. You have breakfast. Smoke a cigarette. You get in your car and drive to work. Smoke a cigarette. You get to work. Smoke a cigarette before going inside. You go to coffee break at work. Smoke a cigarette. You go to lunch. Smoke a cigarette. You go to second break. Smoke a cigarette. Maybe something stressful happens at work. Sneak out and smoke a cigarette. After work, as you drive home, you smoke a cigarette. You get home and unwind. Smoke a cigarette. You cook dinner. Smoke a cigarette. After eating dinner. Smoke a cigarette. Have a glass of wine or beer and of course smoke a cigarette. Watch TV. Smoke a cigarette. Get ready for bed. Smoke a cigarette. Before going to bed. Smoke a cigarette.

    Let's say that it took 5 pages to write the screenplay "In the daily life of (anonymous)."

    Now that you don't smoke, you're not so much rewriting your daily life, but more of editing out a lot of useless dialog in your screenplay that isn't needed to tell the story.

    The problem is that now after all that editing, what use to take 5 pages to tell the story, now only takes 3 pages. Now you still have 2 blank pages that you're carrying around with you and you don't know what to do with them. This can cause anxiety. You have been so used to writing your daily life with 5 pages that writing it with only having to use 3 pages feels like there is a void in the story.

    Really take a look at the dialog that you edited though and put that down on the 2 remaining pages.

    Here's what it would say: Smoke a cigarette. Smoke a cigarette. Smoke a cigarette. Smoke a cigarette. Smoke a cigarette. Smoke a cigarette. Smoke a cigarette. Smoke a cigarette. Smoke a cigarette. Smoke a cigarette. Smoke a cigarette. Smoke a cigarette. Smoke a cigarette. Smoke a cigarette. Smoke a cigarette. Smoke a cigarette. Smoke a cigarette. Smoke a cigarette. etc, etc.

    You can see how useless this dialog is. It doesn't even help tell your story and on it's own it makes no sense. It's just repeated blabber.

    You have two choices now. You can either take these pages and just throw them away, because you no longer need them anymore. Or you can take these two remaining pages and add something to your story. Something that maybe you've wanted to add for sometime now, but just have never done it, because this addiction was taking up those two pages. These two pages are no longer being wasted on telling the story of your addiction. They are now yours to tell any story that you wish to tell.

    It isn't so much that since you quit smoking, that there is a void in your life. It is more that smoking created that void, because it took away from you. That was YOUR time being wasted, it was NOT being filled. Now that you have freed yourself from cigarettes, don't think of it as leaving a hole in your life. Think of it as giving back the endless possibilities of living life as YOU again.

    Also don't think that you need a cigarette to deal with life's stress.

    It isn't that you were able to deal with stress better when you smoked. It's just that you've done it for so long that way, that you are having to relearn how to do it without cigarettes. It's new and unfamiliar. Smoking under stress was a combination of relieving withdrawal, but it also gave you a minute or two to reflect on what was causing the initial stress.

    If you're under stress and where the times you would smoke a cigarette, what I would do is stop. Step back and give yourself a moment just like you would do when you smoked, but now breathe deeply, calm yourself and focus on what you need to do to alleviate what is causing the stress.

    Don't feel that if you're under stress that you have to attack it head on because cigarettes are no longer there to buffer what it happening. You can very easily do this without smoking. You can step back and give yourself a moment to collect yourself and you can do it without cigarettes. They are a useless middleman and you know that cigarettes don't relieve stress. They only relieve withdrawal. They don't deserve that kind of credit.

    You should be proud of yourself, because you have taken your pages back.

    The pages are yours now. Fill them any way you choose

    Eric
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/10920-filling-the-pagesrepost-from-eric/
     
  5. jillar

    Executive Assistant

    By jillar,


    General
    El Bandito
    Posted April 20, 2014 · IP 
     
    The below is a repost of a repost of a repost...
     
    It is a post that I have found invaluable. I posted it somewhere else today - and LB suggested it have a thread of its own....
     
    Triggers: Reminders From Your Executive Assistant 


    Original post : Kattatonic Gold/ Freedom member. 


    "It's all in your head" has developed a really bad rap in our culture. What's up with that? The power of the brain is remarkable. We should marvel and be impressed. 

    Has anyone told you that since physical withdrawal is over... get a grip... or get over it... or something like that? 

    What about patience with yourself? You've been informed that it's psychological after 2 weeks . Do you think the impulse to smoke should stop now, now, now? 

    Do you think impulses after you have quit for a while indicate you are weak? 
    Quite the contrary, actually. Your brain is working as designed. 

    Okay, listen up. Your brain is amazing. Every time you do anything, one function your brain performs is to try to save you time and prevent you from repeating past mistakes. So quickly and subconsciously, your brain scans the memory banks for similar circumstances whenever you do anything. When it finds comparable history, it compares that with what you are doing now and alerts you to differences, just like an efficient little assistant. 



    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
    Yesterday I pulled on my day pack, went out the front door and turned left to walk up the street. Suddenly I am hit with a trigger. Why? Because I haven't turned left off my front stoop since before I quit. I quit in the winter and I have either gone out the back door to my car, or turned right to walk to the subway. Turning left means I am going to bother to walk to the grocery, which I haven't done since I quit. 

    The part of my brain that tries to save me time, let's call him the Executive Assistant (the EA), recalled past left turns from the stoop. He went down a checklist. What did she need / what did she use on previous excursions like this? Wallet? Check. Keys? Check. Bags? Check. Smokes? NOPE. "Ah, ah, ah, excuse me!" I could imagine him running up behind me yesterday as I set out and picked up pace. "You've forgotten your cigarettes! You're going to need your cigarettes when you get to the café!" (I treat myself to a special coffee when I bother to walk to the market.) 

    Remember all those times you forgot your cigarettes and kicked yourself? It was such an inconvenience when you were an active using addict. Back then, your reaction went something like this: "Memo to self. Don't forget the cigarettes!" What I'm calling the 'EA' function in your brain monitors these memos. He got the memos and he's acting on them. He got thousands of memos like that! 

    The poor guy is just trying to do his job. So I thanked my EA for trying to save me frustration, reminded him that I no longer smoke and that he should refer to the new Never Take Another Puff memo. 

    After my coffee up the street, I paused to listen to the Let's-Smoke trigger, a little different and a more uncomfortable than the Forgot-Your-Cigarettes trigger. There he was again, but this time trying to get me to actually smoke! What a guy! His reasoning? "You've eaten, walked and coffeed, you're about to shop... you are going to want a smoke before you know it and you'd always rather smoke here than while walking home. Always! Always!" 

    This guy is no dummy. I did in fact send him that memo many, many times. For heavens sake, I smoked for 25 years. The filing cabinets are full of those old memos. 

    How to teach an old dog new tricks? Well the EA in our brains can and does learn new routines all the time. We may learn slower as we age but we do still learn and adapt, especially if we do it consciously. We have to note new memos to ourselves, sometimes several times and we have to be kind to ourselves... or our ‘EAs’. The kinder and calmer you are, the more chance you have of him 'getting it' each time. So what to do in the café? 

    I said to my EA, "Thanks! I appreciate the reminder but you have to look at the newer One = All memo again. I am not going to smoke today or ever. Please remember that coffee time is no longer smoke time." 

    He will get it; I know he will. It will just take a while and a walk through all my various scenarios. He is really very, very good. He learned so well the first time -- I have to give him time to learn the new mandate. 

    Thanks for reading my ramblings. You are doing it,! It is doable! It does get better and it is worth it... wait! Make that, YOU are worth it. Yes, you are.The factor that really shows the addiction is not how hard or how easy it is to quit. What really shows the addiction is how universally easy it is to go back. One puff and the quit can go out the window.UCanQuit 
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/805-executive-assistant/
     
  6. jillar
    Markus
    Quit Date: 02-19-2008
    Posted October 28, 2018 · IP  (edited)
     
     
    I haven't been around that much but I was here yesterday and was glad to see all of the long quits. I haven't written in a few years but would like to post a few thoughts about the quit process.
     
    Looking at the new and young quits, and the never-ending fight to gain a foothold on the sticky quit, I just wanted to let the newer quits I see on the QT know, that you'll get there too, by sticking to your plan and what you will learn as you stay quit.
     
    This is only a mind game, where your self control is being tested constantly. It wears on you as you overcome the triggering of craves through attrition, trying to process them simply as your mind/body healing itself naturally through recognition and reaction. That someting so elementary is so taxing is hard to understand sometimes.
     
    It really requires no action other than acknowledgement of the particular craving and the processing of it.
     
    Repetition is the key. The first triggers and craves that you will defeat are the ones you encounter the most. The most infrequent ones are the last to fall, and they do, through repetition.
     
    If you will just keep doing your normal daily and nightly activities sans the nicotine delivery, eventually you'll roll over the addiction and leave it behind. Sounds overly simplistic reading this but remember that you will trigger and crave and try to understand what caused it. Don't be alarmed and dont make a hasty judgement, because sometimes you can't put your finger on the particular cause to your effect.
     
    Could be romancing the cigarette subconsciously and missing that old smoky life, since things have changed and you don't know who you are sometimes. I mean you were this... smoker... and now maybe scared and are wanting to go back to what you see as normal. That is when you get tough and remember that you control your own mind and heart and that you call the shots. It's okay to feel weak, but know that you didn't get this way in a few days so it will take a few months of honest work to get out of the hole.
     
    You will make it, even if you feel like you won't. This will not kill you but it will make you unbelievably strong if you'll just stick to your quit plan and your back up plan, and allow yourself some time to heal.
     
    So be militant anti smoking, and  remember that you are in a fight and that you are unwinding your whole being from the addiction so walk like it and act like it.
     
    Once smoking and cigarettes were every part of you, and now...well now they are not. That hurts and that is painful, but it is the work you have to do, so let the process work. Pay it forward, and stay as strong as you can as you use what you have learned.
     
    And if you fall, it isn't the end. You start again. A dream becomes a wish, and that wish becomes your reality as you work the quit. Time is on your side now, so dont give that addiction any more of you. You're in control of your mind and body and you've taken the chains off. Don't put them back on.
     
    KTQ
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/11327-the-rear-view-mirror-and-years-quit/
     
     
     
  7. jillar
    October 30, 2016 · IP 
    The recovered alcoholic, the heroin addict, the nicotine addict, deep down each knows the "Law of Addiction."  They've heard it over and over again.  Just one sip, one tiny fix, or one little puff of nicotine, just once, that's all it takes and the addict is back!  They know that either immediately or in a short period of time they'll once again be slaves to their old level of drug use or greater.  We know the Law of Addiction so why do we break it?
     
    There are three primary factors associated with relapse: (1) rewriting the law of addiction; (2) an excuse; and (3) a vague memory.  It doesn't matter if it happens within two hours, two days, two weeks, two months, two years, or twenty, the factors remain the same and apply to all of us.  Rewriting the law of addiction is easy and you don't need a pencil, paper or computer to do it.
     
    Amending the Law of Addition
    "Just one puff" and then "do not pass go, do not collect $200, but go directly to the addict's prison and surrender your freedom for good."  It isn't that the recovering nicotine addict doesn't know or believe the law of addiction because we do.  It's just that we begin to believe that we're the exception.  We convince ourselves that we're stronger and smarter than those who discovered the law, and wiser than all addicts who came before us.  We amend the law.  We put ourselves above it.  "Just one, it'll be ok, I can handle it, I'm stronger than the others, a little reward, it's been a while, I've earned it."
     
    I'm sorry.  As soon as such thoughts begin infecting the mind they tend to start feeding on themselves and in all likelihood your body's period of healing and freedom is over.  Your dreams and hard work are all being thrown into a dirty toilet that one puff of nicotine is about to flush.
     
    Instead of saying that you can handle "just one," a truthful statement would have been "I can handle them all, give them all back to me, my entire addiction, all the ashtrays, the coughs, the stink, the endless stream of 4,000 plus deadly chemicals that come with each puff (including up to 81 known cancer causing agents), the constant gradual destruction of every cell in my lungs and the gradual clogging and hardening of every blood vessel in my body, the 50/50 chance of killing myself 13-14 years early, all the money it will cost me to stay enslaved for years and years to come (together with massive future price increases designed to get me to quit), the growing social pressures that will make me feel even more like an outcast, I want it all back, all of it!"
     
    It's far easier for the junkie mind to create a one puff or one cigarette exception to the law" than admit the truth.  A one pack a day addiction is 7,300 cigarettes a year.  Don't picture smoking just one.  Instead, picture yourself sticking at least a year's supply into your mouth all at once. Try fitting them all into your mouth because in truth that's exactly where they'll be going, year after year after year.  "To thine own self be true."   You deserve the truth - you paid the price - you earned it.
     
    The Perfect Excuse
    The excuse can be anything.  Usually the addict waits for that great excuse to come along, but some get tired of waiting and any old excuse will do.  Even joy!  A reunion with an old smoking buddy, a few drinks with friends, a wedding, a graduation, or even a baby's birth and a free nicotine laden cigar, or trying a harmless looking new nicotine delivery device like the 27 flavors of suckers, the straw, lozenges, candy or even nicotine water or soda, why not!  But joyful or even stupid nicotine relapse is harder to explain to yourself and those you love.
     
    The smart nicotine addict waits for the great excuse, the one that we know we can sell to ourselves and others.  As sick as it may sound, the easiest to sell and the best of all is the death of a loved one.  Although everyone we love is destined to die and it'll happen sooner or later, for the reformed addict it's the perfect excuse for relapse.  I mean, who can blame us for ingesting highly addictive drugs into our bodies upon our mother's death.  Anyone who does would have to be extremely insensitive or totally heartless!  Right?  Losing a job, the end of a relationship, serious illness, disease or financial problems are all great excuses too - it's drug time again!  The addict is back!
     
    Lost Memories
    But an excuse doesn't work alone.  It needs help.  Failing memories of "why" we were willing to put ourselves through the anxieties and emotion of physical withdrawal, and weeks and weeks of psychological adjustment in order to break free, breathe fatal life into any excuse.  Most of us failed to keep a detailed record of why we commenced recovery or what it was like.  Instead, we are forced to rely upon our memory to accurately and vividly preserve the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.  But now, the memory in which we placed all our trust has failed us.
     
    It isn't that your memory is bad, faulty or doing anything wrong.  In fact, it's working as it should to preserve in as much detail as possible the joyful events of life, while forgetting, as quickly as possible, all the pain and anguish that we've felt, including our disdain for the addict's life we lived.  To have our brains do otherwise would make life inside our minds unbearable.  If women were forced to remember the true agony and intense pain of childbirth, most would have just one.  We are each blessed with the gift to forget.
     
    So how does the reformed nicotine addict who failed to keep accurate records of their journey revive their passion for freedom and recall liberty's price?  If we forget the past, are we destined to repeat it?  Not necessarily.  It doesn't have to be.  But just as any loving relationship needs nourishment to flourish, we can never take our recovery for granted or the flame will eventually die and the fire will go out.  We have to want to protect this glory until the day we die.  We have to turn that "want" into action.  If we do, we win.  If not, our fate may be up in the air with serious risk of relapse followed by crippling disease or even a very early grave.
     
    Whether it's daily, weekly or monthly, our recovery needs care.  If you don't have a detailed log to regularly review when faced with adversity, upon each anniversary of your quit, or at each birthday, do your best to create one now.  Talk to those still smoking and ask for help in revitalizing your memories.  Encourage them to be as truthful as possible.  Although they may look like they're enjoying their addiction to smoking nicotine, the primary joy they get is in keeping their body's blood serum nicotine level within the comfort zone, so as to avoid the onset of the anxieties and craves of early withdrawal.  Show them your pen and paper and invite them to help you create your list.  You may even cause a spark in them.  Be kind and sincere.  It wasn't long ago that those were our shoes.
     
    Also, try envisioning the first week. What was it like?  Can you still feel the powerful craves as your body begged and cried to be fed?  Can you still feel the pain?  Do you see yourself not being able to concentrate, having difficulty sleeping, feeling depressed, angry, irritable, frustrated, restless, with tremendous anxiety, a foggy mind, sweating palms, rapidly cycling emotions, irrational thinking, emotional outbursts or even the shakes?  Do you remember these things?  Do you remember the price you paid for freedom?  Do you remember why you were willing to pay it?
     
    If you have access to a computer, you won't need a smoker's help or even to recall the early days of your own journey.  You can go on-line to scores of smoking cessation support groups and find thousands of battles being fought, hear tons of cries and watch hundreds struggling for survival as they cling to the promise of the rich sense of inner calmness, quiet and comfort that lies beyond.  Visit as often as possible.  Make a few posts to those in need.  The most important thing you can tell them is the truth about why you are there.  Tell them how comfortable and complacent you've become.  It's what they yearn to hear!  Many smoked their entire adult life and have a difficult time believing that withdrawal isn't permanent.  Fear of the unknown is frightening.  Help them and in doing so help yourself.
     
    If you find yourself attempting to rewrite the law of addiction, stop, think, remember, read, revisit, revive and give to others, but most important, be honest with you.  Terrible and emotional events will happen in each of our lives - such is life.  Adding full-blown nicotine relapse to any situation won't fix, correct or undo your underlying concern.  In your mind, plan for disaster today.  How will you cope and keep your healing alive should the person you love most in this world suddenly die?  What will you do? 
     
    Remember, we've only traded places with our chemical dependency and the key to the cell is one puff of nicotine.  As long as we stay on this side of the bars, we are the jailors and our dependency the prisoner. We only have two choices. We can complete this temporary period of adjustment and enjoy comfortable probation for life or we can smoke nicotine, relapse, and intentionally inflict cruel and unusual punishment upon these innocent bodies for the remainder of their life, together with inviting a 50/50 chance that you'll be putting yourself to death. If the first choice sounds better - comfortable lifetime probation - then we each need only follow one simple rule - NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF!
     
    Breathe deep, hug hard, live long!
    John
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/7669-caring-for-our-quit-by-john-r-polito/
     
  8. jillar

    Keep It - Your Quit, Your Shield

    By jillar,


    General
    Bassman
    Posted September 17, 2014 · IP 
     
    Some people cannot go through something without having to put something on it or tag something to it.  That makes it justified for what is going on.
     
     
     
      When I started smoking there was no one week, 2 week, monthly celebration for the start, no woopie I have been smoking for 6 months......But during many yearly anniversaries from the start of my smoking, I  wished I had never started....But there is no name for that situation, just a wish that I had the power to fulfill but didn't for 35 years.
     
     
     
      When I finally did the needful and quit, I was filled with excitement and extreme joy that I finally quit.  I fulfilled something I wished for for 35 years....now that is something to be proud of.....In fact so proud and happy, I let that emotion over cloud the craves, urges, or trigger, then and now.  
     
     
     
       I wanted and needed to stop so I did and with that being my goal, I never saw a need to question any part of my quit.  Yes the urges, temptations,  craves, addiction, taste in the mouth, subconscious smoking habits, all were and sometimes still here.  I have to live with it because I myself alone brought the addiction to me..... But I don't have to accept it, I only need to protect and stay vigilant to my quit.....I just have to make sure I don't get a cigarette and smoke it......ane the more I do that, the more stronger my quit becomes.
     
     
     
      Point here is to continue to accept your quit from your decision to stop smoking.  Just don't smoke, ............ because you no longer smoke for your own reasons.  Don't worry about how you are going through it because you will come out the winner....you will come surfing out of that perfect 15 foot wave hole free and clear with joy in your soul.  You are accomplishing what you set out to do and that accomplishment is filled with health, money, and self confidence,  not to mention what it means to family, friends and loved ones.
     
     
     
    Enjoy your quit, embrace it, let your quit be your shield ..............Bassman
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/2712-keep-it-your-quit-your-shield/
     
  9. jillar

    It's All Relative

    By jillar,


    General
    babs609
    Posted June 27, 2014 · 
     
    Coming close to the 2 year mark for me and as i look back at my quit smoking journey I recongnize the transformation that has occurred in my life since that lucky Friday the 13th back in 2012.  
     
    The transition was slow....of course in the beginning...it was all about quitting smoking.  That had to take priority.  It was the fight of my life and I was in the ring (like Rocky fighting against the big Russian dude)  It was all about the quit.
     
    Fast forward a few months and my ambition and drive was wavering a little.  I was now 20 pounds heavier....the excitement from being a non smoker was fading, my personal life was very stressful (cause I was focusing on everyone else) and I just didn't feel as good as I envisioned I would.
     
    That was the crossroad for me....I could either continue on the downward spiral and eventually at some point pick up smoking again...or focus hard on my fitness...my health overall.  
     
    Took me a while, and I have a long way to go...but i'm seeing my body changing and the strength I have is incredible.  Feeling really good and strong and healthy.  Amazingly healthy.  Better than I have since my 20's!  Never thought that would be possible.
     
    This morning after eating my egg white vegetable omelette...I let the dogs outside and for a split second...I craved a cigarette.  haha...I just laughed and thought to myself..."yea right...like you would really screw all that hard work up"  
     
    There is no going back now...only forward.  You see...it is all relative.  Quitting smoking, eating healthy, getting exercise every single day at your maximal level.  Take care of your body..it's the only place you have to live.  When you stay in that frame of mind...smoking is way way way way down on the list of "wants".  
     
    Keep at it folks...it really REALLY does get better.
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/1747-its-all-relative/
     
  10. jillar

    The Grief Cycle

    By jillar,


    General
    Jenny
    Posted December 26, 2014 · IP  (edited)
     
     
     Quitting is a learning process rather than a single act. The majority of our participants agree that the process can be difficult, especially during the first few weeks. You have to get through a physical and mental recovery when you decide to quit smoking. The physical recovery is the most difficult during the first two to four weeks due to experiencing the “symptoms of recovery.”
    The mental recovery, however, may take several months or longer as you learn to reorganize your lifestyle without smoking. This may be even more difficult to handle than the physical recovery; however, this program is designed to help you with the physical and mental recovery process so you’re in the right place!
    The psychological recovery process is very similar to the grief cycle, how someone feels when a loved one dies. Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross did research on death and dying. She found that anytime we experience a major change in life, we grieve for the old in order to make room for the new. She also found that there are usually five stages to a person’s grieving process. Think about how these stages of grieving relates to quitting for you:
     
    Denial & Isolation
     
    Denial and isolation are the mind’s first way of protecting us from a sudden change or loss. People who lose a friend or family member say they feel numb. This is called a psychological defense mechanism. What this means is that although you know the importance of quitting, you may not want to believe it. The denial phase probably happened before you even found this program.
    Have you ever said any of these statements?
    I know I should quit, but I’m not sure I want to.
    Cigarettes don’t affect my health like they do others. I’m not huffing and puffing.
    I can quit anytime I want to.
    I’m not addicted.
    I’ll switch to a low-tar cigarette.
    Cigarettes haven’t been proven harmful.
    My parents both smoked and they’re fine.
    These are denial statements. What are some other denial statements that perhaps you have used in the past?
     
    Anger
     
    When we begin to accept a loss, we often feel anger. If you perceived comfort from smoking you are likely to feel angry about the change. You may be angry about the loss of your “friend.” You might be angry about many things, or everything.
    Some typical feelings or statements made during this phase include:
    Why me? I’m mad I started, I’m mad I quit. I’m mad cigarettes are harmful. I’m mad it’s so hard. I’m mad that things aren’t going my way.
    You might be angry with me, your Facilitator, and other participants on the Message Boards. You might find yourself reacting angrily to things that normally wouldn’t bother you.
    Your anger may be directed toward family members, friends, nonsmokers or coworkers. In fact, a lot of people avoid quitting because they feel so irritable during the recovery process.
    Remember that anger is part of the process. Don’t try to resist it. Accept it, safely vent it, and take some time to feel it. You may feel angry and testy. You don’t have to have a reason to feel that way, you just do. It will subside. Sometimes naming the feeling lowers the intensity of your anger.
     
    Bargaining
     
    This is the stage where participants feel tempted to postpone the inevitable. You might try to switch brands, smoke only at home or only at work. You might also try to make deals and empty promises. This is a risky phase because a lot of people slip or relapse at this point, so be careful!
    Some typical comments made during the bargaining phase are:
    I think I have the worst licked. If I just have one cigarette, I’ll get right back on track afterward and I won’t do it again.
    I’ll just smoke on vacation.
    I’ll just light your cigarette.
    I’ll quit as long as my weight stays down.
    I’ll try, but I’m not making any promises.
    Do these statements sound familiar? Everyone is tempted to bargain. Realizing that it is a natural part of the process of quitting sometimes helps to move past it. Laugh it off and have a heart-to-heart talk with your inner self. Make a strong commitment to be in control of the cigarette. If you give in to bargaining, the cigarette is once again in control. Say out loud, “Nothing or no one controls me.” Put that statement on a sticky note and put it in a place where you’ll be reminded to think about it and repeat it often.
     
    Depression
     
    When participants acknowledge and accept the loss of their “friend,” the cigarette, it’s natural to experience some sadness. This is especially true when no one else seems to know or understand this loss. People often experience this in one of two ways. They either feel a deep sense of sadness or a deep sense of deprivation.
    Some typical comments during the depression stage are:
    I feel so emotional. I cry all the time.
    I feel so deprived.
    Why can’t I have this one little pleasure?
    Life without cigarettes is awful.
    I feel lonely.
    This is the “ain’t it awful” stage. You may feel like you’ve lost your best friend. Don’t resist this stage or think it’s crazy to mourn the loss of a cigarette. Be as direct with this stage as we suggest with the anger stage. Accept it. Talk about it. Take some time to just feel sad. Then move on and focus on the benefits of what you’re doing.
     
    Acceptance
     
    A healthy person who has suffered a loss eventually accepts its reality and goes on living life. In this stage, you begin to realize that your former smoking lifestyle is over. You are finally resolving your sense of loss or grief. You can get on with living your new found, healthier lifestyle. A new and better life begins.
    Some typical comments during the acceptance phase are:
    I think I’m going to actually be successful. I still don’t like it a lot but I think it will stick.
    I’d still like to smoke but I choose not to.
    I am going to teach myself to like my new nonsmoking lifestyle. I’ll do it gradually and positively.
    I am living a smokefree life.
    I am an ex-smoker!
    The key to moving through the psychological recovery is your attitude toward quitting. Continue to look at these symptoms as part of the process. Move through them with a sense of challenge, expectation and excitement over what lies ahead for you. You will make discoveries about yourself. Reject the feeling that you have given something up. It’s quite the opposite. You gained something: your freedom and self-mastery. This is not an exercise in self-denial, but self-determination. You are giving a precious gift to yourself and to those around you.
     
    ~The American Lung Association
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/3953-the-grief-cycle/
     
  11. jillar
    REZ
    Posted April 23, 2014 · IP 
     
    I have tried many many times through out my smoking career to quit and have failed every single time except one!!!!! 
     
    This one is different, One of the reasons why I think is " I was just tired of quitting!"  :unsure: 
     
    Tired of having to look those same people in the eyes every time and say, ya i started again. 😞
     
    Tired of ignoring the side effects from smoking, the smell, the shortness of breath, ect! :wacko:
     
    Tired of of all the money and services i had to fork over on loosing bets! 😠
     
    Tired of looking and feeling like a looser to my friends and family! :blink:  
     
    Tired of trying to explain to others why i started smoking again! 😮
     
    Tired of rationalizing to myself why i started smoking again! :huh:
     
    Just got tired of trying to quit smoking!(50+times) :(
     
    Now i'm not tired anymore! :)
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/912-just-got-tired-of-quitting-again-and-again-and-again/
     
  12. jillar

    What Does It Take To Stay Quit?

    By jillar,


    General
    Tink
    Quit Date: 22/11/2013
    Posted April 22, 2014 · IP 
     
    The truth is I am still learning 
     
    I have had my triggers and my cravings
     
    my personal triumphs and my low points
     
    some days were a piece of cake and some were a battle of the mind
     
    I have made mistakes and allowed emotions and personal circumstances push me to the brink
     
    At times I have allowed the junkie mind to romance the idea that smoking will take away the situation I am in - in these times I have had to fight so hard my fingers bled, I scratched and clawed my way to hold on to my quit  
     
    The longer down the road I am the more I realized that this is not the case as life rolls on and you really do not need to smoke to get you through a bad day or situation you start to relax and not be so reactive and you can shut down the junkie mind without any blood shed
     
     
    Things I have learned to be true:
     
    Mind is definately over matter
    You do not need to smoke to help with anything a bad day is still a bad day 
    Hold on no matter what - whatever it takes
    We can make it as hard or as easy as we want it to be
    We can take complete control if we want it (in your own way)
    Fear makes things 10 times worse than it actually is or needs to be
     
    With all this learned knowledge I am looking forward to marching onto my 6 months
     
    All the information you need is right here on the board for your own successful quit wether you are 1 day or 5 months - just hold on tight to your quit
     
    Thanks to all who have walked my journey with me thus far and for the new members we are there for you! 
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/875-what-does-it-take-to-stay-quit/
     
     
  13. jillar

    Anyone ever use affirmations?

    By jillar,


    General
    leahcaR
    Posted April 7, 2014 
     
     
    I know a lot of people mention anxiety, nervousness, panic feelings or just not thinking you can do something or will fail at it (smoking)... I know a lot of people have this to say about life in general but also a lot of people use these words when talking about quitting smoking or thinking of quitting smoking.  I know I used to.  ALL the time.  each one of those words I associated to quitting whenever the thought of quitting popped in my mind.  or even thinking I may fail at it.  
     
    We talk ourselves out of so much in life.  So many good things.  not just quitting smoking.  But anything that might be good like opportunities or chances we could/should take but don't because we let negative thinking get in our way.  
     
    I havent really mentioned this to anyone here since I quit because I figured some might find it strange.  But the more I thought about it recently I realized it is not strange or new agey.... we have inner dialogue with ourselves ALL the time.  You don't even realize you do it because you do it so much.  And if you stopped and thought about it you would realize that most of it is negative.  "I can't stop smoking"  "I would fail" "it would be too hard"  "it makes me anxious just thinking about quitting" or even day to day things like "I cant get that report done in time"  "no one likes me"  "I could never succeed at that"  
     
    Think about it and be honest... you say those things all the time and hardly realize it.  You say something enough times to yourself you will believe it.  Constantly reinforcing the negative thinking/talking to yourself and you will believe it.  But no one thinks its strange that we do this. We don't find it strange that we do this because we are so used to it.  But someone says they use positive affirmations and everyone stops and stares at them secretly wondering what voodoo they are up to.  
     
    If it's okay to talk to yourself negatively it shouldn't be weird to talk to yourself positively.  And if we know anything we know the more times we say something to ourselves we start to believe it.  It's something to think about.  
     
    I have started using affirmations during random times in my life since I quit.  From when I feel like I might want a cigarette to other items related to work or peers.  And I have found them to really work.  Calm me down when I am on the brink of anxiety (and I also suffer from anxiety attacks as some others) and I have used them to calm down about the smoking desires when they used to creep up or if I think I might end up in a trigger situation.
     
    Repeating something to myself over and over for about five minutes or however long I feel necessary really helps me and gets me to start believing what I am saying.  At first of course you wont believe it but give it a chance.  After all,  repeatedly telling yourself you are going to fail at quitting makes you believe it doesn't it? So why should this be counted out?
     
    Here are some good ones for not smoking:
     
    I cancel smoking out of my life.
    I am smoke free and craving free from nicotine.
    I love fresh air and abhor cigarettes.
    I love myself more than I love smoking.  
    I honor and respect myself always.
     
    And then here are some for anxiety which we know comes along with those nicotine withdrawals and cravings.. and other situations in life:
     
    I transcend stress of any kind; I live in peace.
    All is well in my world and I am safe.
    I am at peace.  I am calm.  All is well.
    When this is over I will be glad that I did it.
    This may be hard now but it will become easier and easier.
    I let go of all the lies I tell myself. 
    There is a great reason this is unfolding before me.
     
     
    and this states how best to use affirmations and other info:
     
    Affirmations work most effectively when they are recited repeatedly and while giving your full focus to them. Not only should you say the words, but you should also do your best to feel the corresponding FEELING associated with the words. For example, if you say, "I feel so strong and empowered" you should actually take on the feelings of being strong and empowered. This does take practice if you are not used to controlling your emotional state, but it does get easier the more you practice it.
    Constant repetition many times a day is important also, because you are attempting to override existing beliefs in your subconscious mind. A belief is nothing more than a thought you have thought many, many times before, until eventually your subconscious mind takes it as "truth".
    For example, many people believe that smoking calms you down. Physiologically, smoking does not have relaxation benefits but many smokers have convinced themselves that it does. Because they believe this, they create the experience of feeling more relaxed after smoking. To override this belief, it's important to replace it with an opposing belief - like affirming that you feel calm and relaxed already, so there is no need to smoke in order to relax.
     
     
    You can do google searches for different kinds of affirmations.  There are TONS of websites with many listed by category.
     
    I thought this might help someone as it has helped me for quite a few months now to get rid of all the lies Ive told myself or continue to tell myself.  Enjoy.... or skip along elsewhere.  <3 :)
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/357-anyone-ever-use-affirmations/
     
  14. jillar

    Did The Penny Drop For You?

    By jillar,


    General
    Jonny5
    Posted April 24, 2014 · IP 
     
    I remember that I was going through the motions, telling myself that I wasn't giving up anything etc etc, just like Allen Carr told me.  and I remember thinking , ok yeh, I can buy into this, I can look at things from a more positive perspective.  I was prepared to follow the don't smoke instructions, but I did suspect Allen Carr was just trying to point out the obvious, and that made me feel a little patronised, but he was telling the truth, don't smoke and you are a non smoker.. well yeh of course.
     
    I had already decided that I was going to see this thing through, I wasn't going to give in this time.
     
    but the penny didn't drop until day 18 for me.  I remember clearly.  I was sat in this same chair that I am now.  I was in the foulest of moods, I was snapping at my wife for no reason, it was not like me at all.
     
    I stood up and said to her, " I'm sorry, I'm being an A hole to you."  she said "it's fine, you are going through a hard time quitting."
     
    I was embarrassed and didn't like the situation one bit.  And I said to her "I'm going to stop being a moaning b**tard right this minute, because I'm fed up of being that guy.
     
    and in an instant I wasn't that guy any more.  I did have control over me. and over how I was reacting to quitting smoking. I believe part of me had still felt I was giving up something before that moment.
     
    I was still experiencing craves quite badly on that day, but right after the conversation with my wife, I stood up and faced one of the craves.  and I actually said out loud, come on then, do your worst, give me your best shot, because I'm not going to smoke, so go ahead and punish me. kill me, or whatever it is that you've been threatening.
     
    of course nothing happened.  nothing does happen.  but the moment I realise that, is the moment that everything happened.  I was free.  my tormentor had no weaponry that could harm me ever again, it was all just fear.
     
    that was the day I started saying to myself and others, "what's the worst thing that could happen if you don't smoke?"
     
    and it was the day that I realised that Allen Carr was a genius, the simplicity of his method blew away all of the rubbish that I had accumulated over the years, the rubbish that stood in the way of my path to freedom.
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/952-did-the-penny-drop-for-you/
     
  15. jillar

    The One Year Commitment

    By jillar,


    General
    Soberjulie
    Posted April 7, 2014 · IP  (edited)
     
     
    I come here for support....to vent....to encourage....to listen and speak truths.
    I will continue to come here for my first year, because whoever I made this pledge to originally kinda knows what he's talking about.....when people slip away from their supportive community, they often slip away from their commitment to NOPE. 
    I read something the other day that made me ask myself....."Well Julie, why do you come here?"
    I see, and am experiencing something very similar to recovery from other addictions that I have and have sought treatment for.
    There is proven power in a community of positive support.
     
    I don't come here to 'save' people......not because I don't want to save people, but because I cant save people.
    As it is with any diagnoses, I can help you treat your cancer, but I cannot save you from your cancer.
    I can help you treat your addiction.....but I cannot save you from your addiction.
     
    But the strange thing is.....and if it weren't so amazing, it would be ridiculous,
    When I help you,
    I save myself
    from my own addiction.
     
    Im making the commitment.....Im committing to one year here.
     
    (I really feel as if Im just re-committing. Ive already made a pledge to stay with a supportive non-smoking community for one year. In 12 step circles, many of us have something called a 'home group': a place where we commit ourselves to showing up as much for ourselves as for others. Ive done nothing more than change my 'home group'. My committment stands. It just stands here)
     

     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/318-the-one-year-commitment/
     
  16. jillar

    Blame nothing but yourself.

    By jillar,


    General
    leahcaR
    Quit Date: Nov-1-2013
    Posted April 27, 2014 · IP 
     
    I get it... we all have different circumstances and situations and backgrounds.  but one thing we all have in common is wanting to quit smoking.  
     
     
     
    Times get rough.  It is easier for some than others.  I found it easy.  Some find it hard.  I found it harder further along.  Season changes and shit.  No doubt, though, I have been through a lot in my early quit, and many here can attest to that.  Or you can read the blog.  
     
     
     
    We are all equally addicted to this substance.  So we can all equally quit this substance.  
     
     
     
    Some act as if it is impossible.  But it is not.  
     
     
     
    It is all in your mindset.  
     
     
     
    Do you think you can do it?  no?  well then you cannot quit.  you will relapse after relapse. 
     
     
     
    Do you believe you can do it?  yes?  Well then you shall succeed.  
     
     
     
    There are challenges.  They arise.  Horrible circumstances. Do you really want to quit?  yes?  Then the only option is to suck it up.  and tread along... minute by minute.  
     
     
     
    That's all there is to it. 
     
     
     
    There is NO difference between you or me or anyone quitting.  If you want to do it... you will.  And if you want to make excuses to smoke... you will definitely do that.  No doubt about it.  
     
     
     
     
     
    Get one thing straight, though.  Blame no one but yourself for not being able to quit.  Blame no one and nothing but yourself.  Because that is all there is in the end.  
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/1037-blame-nothing-but-yourself/
     
  17. jillar
    Rain Forest
    Quit Date: May 13, 2009
    Posted April 21, 2014 · IP 
     
     
    When you first quit smoking, the most horrible people to be around are the ones still smoking, and it’s not because they smoke.
     
    It’s because they don’t understand at all, you are making them feel guilty as hell because you are doing what they “wish” they could do, and they are almost worst than the Nicodemon and it’s craves: they try to get you to smoke.
     
    I relapsed a few times before I found my sticky quit… but I sure remember when I first started “trying” to quit, I was still working in an office… all my smoking buddies would come by my desk to get me for our breaks, even offering me a cig… I heard it all, the “so you’re still not smoking?” and “I wish I could quit too, here, come have a smoke with us, one won’t matter.”  Then even worse, they hid from me as if what they were doing was sneaky.
     
    I felt particularly bad for this one woman I worked with because she is the reason I quit smoking.  She had been to the doctor and was told if she didn’t quit, she’d be dead in a few years because of various health issues… so they put her on Chantix and she was able to quit smoking… now I saw this: she wasn’t upset, she didn’t seem to have trouble with her quit… so I went to my dr and asked for Chantix too… then I used it… well, the first time I lasted a few months (I was still not educated on my addiction, didn‘t have a clue what I was doing)… my friend ended up going back to smoking as soon as she stopped the Chantix.  But I couldn’t keep happily smoking… once I was quit for more than a few days, I started to see that it’s possible to quit for good.
     
    It took me another year before I found my sticky quit, so please, even if you relapse, DO NOT QUIT QUITTING!!!  You can do this, you truly can.  Do not give up.  One of these times, a bell will go off in your head... kinda like what the fox says... DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING!!! lol
     
    This past year, my friend had a really huge scare… they found something on a cat-scan on her lung, and she was terrified that “this is it”.  She lived thru the whole Christmas holiday in fear, thinking the worst… she told me she will quit smoking if it’s not cancer…  Well, after the new year, she found out there was nothing there, she was ok.  She’s still smoking with no plan to quit.  God, I hate to say this, but she is gonna die a smoker.
     
     
    Are you?
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/831-newly-quit-stay-away-from-smokers/
     
  18. jillar
    JackiMac
    Posted October 17, 2014 · IP 
     
     
    Whenever a smoker feels down, depressed, lost, angry, bitter I could go on with the many emotions that we feel in life, but a smoker will always turn to that one thing "crutch" (excuse as we now know it to be) to make them feel better.  Yes Im talking about the nicotine fix, the cigarette, one cigarette will make everything better.  We all know that one thing that stops many people from finally quitting or attempting to quit is the loss of this "crutch".  How will I cope without it.  I thought it might be really good idea to write down what we replaced our crutch with,  As our quit progresses it will be really good to see how our replacements improve.
     
    I didnt stop to think of it until today.  Been a stressful few days with my dad and my future mother in law being admitted to hospital and today I reached a point where that thought popped into my head.  I am so stressed out I could really do with a cigarette. OMG!! luckily for me at that precise moment in time I was dealing with phone calls, arranging for someone to take my son to Football practice, trying to move money, so that thought did not grow and I did not allow it to grow.  Keeping myself very busy replaced my desire or need for a cigarette.  
     
    Can we share for all those thinking about quitting or afraid of quitting how easy it is to replace the Nicotine Crutch.
     
    A Crutch
    Think about it :
    Over the years, you’ve learned to manage your life with a crutch...
    This crutch will follow you wherever you go, but will reduce the length and quality of your life by poisoning you slowly, while you watch a small fortune go up in smoke…
    So what’s the point of smoking?
    Do you really believe you can’t experience life without a paper tube stuffed with bits of a plant?
    Most people don’t smoke, and yet they also know how to have fun and deal with hard or boring times. So...
    The sooner you decide to take action, the better your chance of learning how to breathe again without a crutch
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/3133-how-can-we-replace-the-crutch-of-nicotine/
     
  19. jillar

    I'm A Quitter

    By jillar,


    Blogs
    My husband loves to tell anyone who will listen that I'm a quitter. I "quit" my twenty year professional cleaning service ( actually the high costs of Workers comp in the state at the time forced me to close). 
    I quit my ice cream truck business (because it sucked watching everyone having a good time while I was out putting two steps forward and ending up one step back).
    I quit throwing shingles to him up on the roof ( that one was his own fault for being a jerk on the roof). 
    And then I quit smoking...
    I've quit quitting many a time and never really called them relapses because quite honestly I never quit to begin with. I simply abstained for a while.
    I really had to work myself up to just doing it. I gave myself little pep talks for months leading up to my forever quit. Saying things like "all good(?) things must come to an end". Then I would remind myself of all the things I had outgrown and convinced myself that smoking would soon be one of them.
    So on Sunday May 29, 2016 around 5:00 pm I smoked the last cigarette in my pack and that was that. Or so I thought.....
    Over the next five or so hours I proceeded to smoke every butt in my ashtrays. You see, I didn't tell anyone I quit just in case I failed so I hadn't cleaned and put away the ashtrays. So on Sunday May 29, 2016 at 10:15 pm I quit. 
    It wasn't always easy and some days were downright brutal for me but most of that was my own darn fault. I didn't embrace the beauty in being a quitter. I was too busy feeling sorry for myself for not " getting" to smoke like everyone else could. 
    Looking back now i truly believe your mindset is what is going to dictate how hard or how easy your quit will be. Choose easy....
  21. jillar

    Quitting On A Whim

    By jillar,


    General
    Sazerac
    Quit Date: October 23, 2013, A Good Day to be Free.
     
    Posted August 8, 2016 
     
    Many successful quitters here on QTrain have quit on a whim
    and just like them, I quit on a whim too.
    This is what led me to making one of the most important decisions in my life on a whim...
     
    It was after a trip to California,  
    where finding a place to smoke was problematic
    and I was among non smoking friends. 
     
    For the first time,
    I started seeing addiction for the slavery that it is and I acknowledged my bondage.
    When slipping outside for another smoke, I glibly announced,
    "I'm going out now, to shoot up."
     
    On the aeroplane back home,  a colossal coughing fit overwhelmed me.
    I had to stand in the back while attendants tapped my back and brought me water.
    That was weird, I thought.  That was awful.  What was that about ?
     
    After landing,  I didn't rush outside for a smoke before climbing into a jitney.
    Something had changed.
    Instead, I  thought, why don't you try and quit....you already have 6 or 7 hours clean ?  Why not ? 
    Let's quit smoking for a while and see how that feels. 
     
    I spent the next 72 hours sleeping a lot, drinking whisky
    and reading all about quitting smoking, all about nicotine addiction.
    After those days, as nicotine left my body,
    quitting became a wager with myself,  a bargain. 
     
    'If you don't feel better in five minutes...
    maybe you'll feel better tomorrow...
    if you are not feeling pretty good by next week...
    or,  in a month...see what happens after a year.'
    You can always go back to smoking. You know what that feels like.
     
    The thing was....I was feeling Free.  
    While I was beating a trigger or a crave....I was learning how to be Free.
    It was intoxicating !  It was empowering !
    That was where the whim became a serious enterprise.
    I realized, I would conquer any obstacle to my freedom from nicotine, it was just a matter of time and choice.
     
    Maybe you will quit on a whim.
    You don't need much.  
    Cool clear Water,  the fresh Air you breathe,  some Kindness towards yourself, and a Willingness To Be free.
     
     
    and from our friend, Joel Spitzer,  here are resources regarding Setting Quit Dates
     
     
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/7378-quitting-on-a-whim/
     
  22. jillar

    Stop Waiting

    By jillar,


    General
    Soberjulie
     
    Posted April 10, 2014 
     
    Stop Waiting 
    Author: Unknown.
    Last sentence: Mine 


    So stop waiting until you finish school,
    until you go back to school,
    until you lose ten pounds,
    until you gain ten pounds,
    until you have kids,
    until your kids leave the house,
    until you start work,
    until you retire,
    until you get married,
    until you get divorced,
    until Friday night,
    until Sunday morning,
    until you get a new car or home,
    until your car or home is paid off,
    until spring, until summer, until fall, until winter,
    until you are off welfare,
    until the first or fifteenth,
    until your song comes on,
    until you've had a drink,
    until you've sobered up,
    until you die,
    until you are born again
    to decide that there is no better time
    than right now
    to quit smoking. 
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/483-stop-waiting/#elControls_9518_menu
     
  23. jillar
    Doreensfree
    Quit Date: 7 /8/2013
     
    Posted August 14, 2017 
     
    I'm here to tell you exactly what it's like to live with C.O.P.D/emphysema..
    It starts with a cough..that get alot worse and persistent.. People put it down to a smokers cough..the time scale can differ, as were all different...all of a sudden it gets herder to do the things you could do easy..take the stairs,walk to the local shop,shower,ect...
    You get help with inhalers,clinic,s ,rehab,but nothing stops it's on slaught...
    Very slowly.. You are robbed of your life and depend on your spouse to tend to your needs..
    Giving time..depression sets in..then you have to deal with a double whammy..
    Panic attacks and anxiety start because all this is scarey stuff to deal with..
    This is how you will spend the rest of your life...and it could be years...
    Fighting for your every breath..panic and anxiety...on oxygen tanks...
    You owe it to yourself and your spouse to avoid this at all costs...
    I am that spouse and we deal with this on a daily basis....
    Quit..the risk of smoking is too high..x
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/8969-if-you-still-need-that-nudge-to-quitread-on/
     
  24. jillar

    Breaking Free of this Bondage

    By jillar,


    General
    DenaliBlues 2977
    Quit Date: February 10, 2022
     
    Posted December 26, 2022
     
    For years I thought that I was making a free choice to smoke. But my dependence was much deeper than that - chemical, emotional, ritual. I cannot be a casual smoker because I, too, am an addict. I know this because I exhibited many of the classic signs of addiction:
    I kept smoking even though it made me feel terrible and was harming my health.  Whenever nicotine ran low in my system, I would get agitated and jittery. The only thing that really mattered to me in those moments was getting my next fix.  I made irrational decisions about smoking. Like spending money on smokes even when money was frightfully tight and I was having a hard time making ends meet. Or going outside in hurricane-force winds to smoke, even though it was stupidly dangerous to do so. I isolated myself from friends and family, prioritizing my drug (nicotine) over those family relationships. I was not always truthful about how much I had smoked. Every time I tried to set limits or ration my smoking, I would inevitably revert to my baseline use. "Just one" would turn into "just one more" would turn into "Well, I've already blown it for today so I'll cut back tomorrow" would turn into a pack or more a day.  Breaking free of this bondage is a real gift of quitting. The addiction is part of me, lurking on the sidelines, able to be reactivated if I smoke even one. So I stay vigilant and say NOPE - Not One Puff Ever - to stay free.
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/blogs/entry/1108-we-can-not-be-casual-smokers/
     
  25. jillar

    The Great Nicotine Free Mental Fog

    By jillar,


    General
    Sazerac
    Quit Date: October 23, 2013, A Good Day to be Free.
     
     
    Posted May 4, 2018 
     
            
     Surviving The Great NicotineFree Fog 
     
    Some people experience a mental fog soon after they quit smoking or using nicotine, others don't.
    It can last from a few hours to a few weeks or longer. 
    My fog wasn't consistent, showing  up unannounced and somewhat dismaying.
    Who am I kidding ?  It was disarming and seemed impenetrable.
    I couldn't have made thoughtful decisions and was glad they weren't necessary.
     
    My fog lasted over a month and lingered far too long. 
    Not what you want to hear, I know,  but remember, this was only my experience.
    Everyone's quit is unique, much has to do with attitude, general wellness, behavior/lifestyle, nutrition...
    Keep some tricks in your tool box to help you, just in case, and keep your blood sugar up.
     
    Antidotes ?
     
    forced walks, cold air, intentional breathing, too much coffee,  
    'embracing the suck', attention to my blood sugar, 
    alerting people that might be affected,
    not stressing out about it...understanding that it will pass.
     
    Duration and Density ? 
    On a scale, (10) drastically impaired to (0) normal.
     
    -For three days, with OTC help and Whisky,  I  flirted with informal catatonia   (10)
     
    -For two weeks, I had little concentration, I wasn't making executive decisions or problem solving  (7)  
     
    -At four weeks, I slowly wakened to lethargy (3) and indolence (2.5) 
     
    -It tapered off so  s l o w l y,  it was hard to mark but, that could have been my inattentiveness. pfftt.
     
     
     Have you experienced The Great Smoke Free Fog ? What helped you ? How dense was it ? When did it clear ?
     
     
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/10324-the-great-nicotine-free-mental-fog/
     
     

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QuitTrain®, a quit smoking support community, was created by former smokers who have a deep desire to help people quit smoking and to help keep those quits intact.  This place should be a safe haven to escape the daily grind and focus on protecting our quits.  We don't believe that there is a "one size fits all" approach when it comes to quitting smoking.  Each of us has our own unique set of circumstances which contributes to how we go about quitting and more importantly, how we keep our quits.

 

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