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jillar

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  1. jillar

    99 Day Learning Curve

    By jillar,


    General
    cpk
    Quit Date: 02/04/2015
     
    Posted May 13, 2015 · IP 
     
    Today I have 99 days not smoking. Ten things I've learned:
     
    1) Quitting smoking is a process, not an event.
       Online forums are part of the process, offering education and support.
       All quit aids are a personal choice.
     
    2) Time and Patience build a strong quit.
     
    3) N.O.P.E. is THE KEY.  Not one puff ever. "Slipping up" here and there causes relapses, and allows the addiction to get an even stronger hold.
     
    4) "It gets better."  See #2 for how it's made better.
     
    5) Guard the quit for the first year or even longer. A successful quit takes dedication, commitment, and accountability.
     
    6) The hard won quit is sometimes the strongest quit. However, an easy quit isn't better than a hard quit, and a hard quit isn't better than an easy quit.
     
    7) Eventually, the good days will outweigh the bad days. There will be occasional bad days (even towards one year) but they are not a forever thing. If this weren't fact no one would stay quit. But millions do! Quitting is do-able.
     
    😎 Some issues are caused by quitting smoking, some are not. It takes time to figure out what's what. It's part of the process.
     
    9)  Romancing smoking is foolish. Smoking never made anything better. That's a lie.  Smoking is a disgusting, harmful, filthy, stinky habit.
     
    10) Every quit is unique. Some quitters prefer a soft touch instead of tough love. Some quitters would rather not talk so much about quitting, and just get on with it. Some quitters experience the quit as serious business, while others take it as a lighthearted romp ~~~ most experience a bit of both.  ALL who practice N.O.P.E. are winners, 
     
    N.O.P.E. is the KEY  ~~~  Day-by-day, hour-by-hour, and sometimes minute by minute.
     
    GUARD THE QUIT ~ KEEP THE QUIT ~ N.O.P.E. FOREVER !!!
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/5324-99-day-learning-curve/
     
  2. jillar

    Lies

    By jillar,


    General
    Nixter
    Location: Nebraska
    Quit Date: 6/7/15
     
    Posted June 27, 2015 · IP 
     
    So basically what I'm figuring out is that cigarettes and nicotine are big fat liars. For all those years they kept me at their beck and call by making me afraid. I was afraid to quit because I thought I wouldn't be able to have fun without a cig. LIE. I was afraid to quit because I thought it would be too hard. LIE. I was afraid to quit because I thought every day would be like day 1. LIE. I was afraid to quit because I wouldn't be "me" without my smokes. LIE!! I am telling you, I feel more joy at social situations than I ever have!! Why? Because I can concentrate on having fun instead of worrying when I can sneak outside for a cigarette. I physically feel soooo much better already. And I'm also really proud of myself. But I have to be honest and say I'm a little pissed that I was duped for so long. Anyway, I'm so happy to be a non smoker. Thanks for being here for me!
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/5558-lies/
     
  3. jillar
    Cristóbal
    Quit Date: 14 October 2012
     
    Posted May 19, 2016 · 
     
    When our quits are young, we must learn and then practice in a conscious manner, to disconnect and keep separate our quits from all life events.
     
    We learn to always keep our quits sacred, protected, and never influenced by any life event that may happen.
     
    This dynamic we may call The Proper Sequence, and it is powered by your commitment to Never.Take.Another.Puff. (NTAP).

    It does not matter what may happen on any day in your life......as long as you maintain in a conscious manner The Proper Sequence dynamic as a primary element of your quit, you will not smoke.

    The Proper Sequence is:


    YOU --> QUIT --> LIFE.

    •NOT•:

    YOU --> LIFE --> QUIT.


    By maintaining this simple sequence dynamic in your quit, you will not ever have your quit influenced by life events.
     
    If you always keep your quit close to you, protecting it with your commitment to Never.Take.Another.Puff (NTAP), you will never, *EVER*, smoke again.
     
    We build our quits, and train our minds, our emotions, and our spirits to live as non-smokers in beautiful freedom by continuing to commit to NTAP. as our way of not smoking, and our way of slowly putting this awful addiction to sleep.

    Consciously adding The Proper Sequence dynamic to your new non-smoker identity will strengthen your quit even more.
     
     
    Cristóbal
     
    (Posted on Day 364)
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/7018-your-quit-your-life-the-proper-sequence/
     
  4. jillar

    The Guadalupe River

    By jillar,


    General
    This post was written by a member of another forum by the name of jwg and brought over to preserve it. And although I never knew him his ability to write about his addiction and his approach to dying spoke to me. RIP jwg.....
     
     
    A lazy Texas river spanning form Kerr county Texas to the San Antonio bay on the Gulf of Mexico.  If you ever need to find a place to relax enjoy the sunshine while refreshing from the hot Texas sun, nothing beats a lazy day tubing down the slow winding of deep greens and blue. Some place your arm able to reach down and feel the stones polished by the millenniums. Hiding secrets of the Alamo and days gone by. A sacred place, where no worries in the world can follow, No troubles from work are allowed to enter, only you and your desire to be at peace can break the waters edge.
     
    In my resent ventures over this past summer I had the opportunity to experience the river , its majesty and glory , Not only was I with the river I was with the finest people in the world to share the experience. By day floating lazily carefree and by night telling stories lounging about the cabin or sitting under the stars on the porch, cooking out burgers some night or fajita’s..
     
     
    I often think of that trip and the fun we all had, to go back in time , even in memory can be so nice . Some days we would float solo or holding hands keeping close together. other days we banded are pack together by twine and traveled the river as one , like a Robin Hood and his merry men , or maybe Tom Sawyer and some of his boy hood chums.
     
    One particular day we were going solo , but I lashed the tube with the cooler to my rig
    6 hours or so , surly you need some sort of refreshment and maybe even pull up on to  a clear shore line for  a bite to eat.. And so we did. After lunch two of are young explores
    Decided to forgo the tubes, swim a bit and comb the bottom of the river for secret hidden treasures,, Lost sunglass or the mother load a Iphone or other such valuable loot.
     
    Now with no use for there tubes , the young explores piled them on top of the cooler . So there I was, in my tube tied to a stack of three tubes and a cooler. To which the wind had greater strength to control then the  slow easiness of the river current.
    Some times I would find the wind speeding me along , while others the wind dragging me back and my group of merry band of men flowing down the river far in front of me.
     
    While still enjoying the river the ride and the scenery I really had no control of the speed of my travel , to which side of the river I would coast. Sometimes the wind would bring me in to the tree line . Catching me on limbs and others casting me out into the deeper waters. Basicly I was at the mercy of powers much greater then myself..
     
     
    As history repeats itself ,, this is where I find myself once more, only today laying in my hospital bed.
    With each  day that passes more tubes are added to my burden, and now with each tube the wind carries me faster down the river then we could have ever imagined.
     
    Just a few hundred yards back the option of chemo loomed in the air to slow the winds and the current giving me more time to enjoy the river, but now once  more due to powers beyond my control I find myself helpless. My illness grows faster then can be controlled.
     
    I am at peace, I am comfortable. I am in my tube enjoying every last minute of my ride
    Down the Guadalupe
     
    I can not see the end to the river nor do I look forward to its end..
     
    I have my friends , I have my family , I have you all , and I have the love of a beautiful women , my angel, my everything to comfort and care for me
     
    I love you all
     
     
    And will to my best keep you posted
     
     
    In the mean time
     
    Don’t put things in your mouth and light them on fire !!
  5. jillar

    nicotine replacement therapy

    By jillar,


    General
    babs609
    Quit Date: 07/13/2012
     
    Posted March 2, 2015 · IP 
    It's not what you think...at least not in this post.
     
    Many people who "attempt" to quit smoking hope and pray for it.  They just crush their last few cigarettes when they are sick of themselves...of course, they just put out a cigarette when they do this so they feel all brave.  (20 min later--digging through the trash to find those cigarettes--I admit-I did that)
     
    Then you have those that do quit--they just "put it down" and never looked back.  My dad was like that.  One day..he just decided and never once did he claim to have a hard time.  He never took a puff after that...not one.  It's people like him that all smokers look up to...hoping one day that we will wake up and just not want to smoke any more.  I waited for that moment for 15 years and it never happened.  Not for longer than 2 hours anyway. 
     
    Most people who have an addiction--whether it's to smoking, food, drugs, alcohol, people, sex...whatever it is...they can't just "put it down" without a replacement.  There has to be a plan...there has to be an alternative.  Simply refraining from smoking is not enough...even though that's all you have to do to stay quit....one day at a time, just NOPE.  But still...something has to be put in it's place.
     
    This is why many quitters who are not fully educated about the addiction gain weight..or drink more..or may engage in other activities not healthy for them.  Their life and situation gets worse and they blame the fact that they quit smoking....when in fact it was because they didn't find a healthy alternative.
     
    For me...that replacement was exercise, meditation..and eating healthy.  It's become my new addiction.  Makes perfect sense since quitting smoking is all about taking care of myself and healthy living....I love it and I don't mind that I'm a little obsessed with it.  I dream about running sometimes...and when I am heading to work and see someone running..I am jealous and want to be running too...I am constantly looking up new healthy recipes and finding fun activities I would like to try that involve fitness or just "moving" like kayaking and rock climbing..I bought a bike over the winter and can't wait to get on it.
     
    What's your Nicotine replacement therapy?
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/4645-nicotine-replacement-therapy/
     
  6. jillar

    Are you a Slave to the Nicotine?

    By jillar,


    General
    JackiMac
     
    Posted March 17, 2015 · IP 
     
    Nicotine is a monster that comes along and takes you captive, it entices you in with promises of a sweeter life, it promises to give you stress free moments, make you a more sociable likeable person, you want to be slim and look cool, nicotine says it can do that for you, you can be an it girl a man of the moment because you smoke.  
     
    Errrm hang on a moment  let reality have a second to speak to you, nicotine is a chain that wraps itself around you, it enslaves you with its addictive drugs, it pulls you in with it's lies, see all the stress that you think nicotine can solve, only you have control to deal with your stress, learn deep breathing (oh I forgot you can't because smoking has damaged your lungs).  You think your an it girl, HA, it girls don't smell of smoke or have a face full of wrinkles and smokers lines, Man of the moment yeah whatever the smoking has dulled your senses, you can't run for that ball anymore.  Your not a sociable person, are you really, everyone is looking out at you not wanting to join you but feeling sorry for you because you are a slave to the nicotine.
     
    If someone said to you see that cliff over there jump off it, would you? No I didn't think so, why would you answer No, because you are not stupid, are you, your in control of what you do, you know that if you jump of that cliff, you will probably die.  So if I offer you a cigarette surely your answer should be the same, No thanks, why would you answer No, because your not stupid, you are in control of what you do, if you carry on smoking you will probably die.  
     
    If you are a slave to the Nicotine, its time you broke free of the chains, take back control of your destiny, take back control of your life. Begin a new journey, one that leads to better times.  The journey will test you at times, but isn't that what we call life, and last time I looked life was for living.
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/4800-are-you-a-slave-to-the-nicotine/
     
  7. jillar

    Mind games

    By jillar,


    General
    babs609
    Quit Date: 07/13/2012
     
    Posted December 9, 2014 · IP 
    wrote this a while ago and just came across it.  Thought I would share it. 
     
     
    As I was driving to work a couple of weeks ago, a song from my past came on the radio.  Instantly put me in a good mood.  I was singing along, bopping in my seat happily as i drove to work.  The song triggered a memory for me...a happy memory.  I was in a good mood all day because of it.
     
    Fast forward 2 weeks later..a song came on the radio that made me sad.  Triggered an emotional response and i was sad for just a few minutes.  In the past, I probably would have let that sadness permeate into the rest of my day as well..but I have learned through practice and the process of quitting smoking, that we are in control of our thoughts at all times.
     
     We do not control environmental circumstances that may trigger a thought, We do not control a thought that just pops in our head that came out of nowhere.  We DO control what we do with it that moment.  Decision time.  Focus on the feeling.....or just accept it for what it is and move on.  It's a thought...a fantasy...a made up story in your head.  It's not real.  It may have been real in the past but reliving an unpleasant memory was bad enough the first time....why torture yourself.?  Same is true for the future....all made up fairy tales.
     
    What's real?  Whatever it is that you are doing that moment.   Not the crazy talk in your head. This moment is all you are guaranteed.  The future is now.  
     
    Same thing occurs when you are triggered to smoke.  It's a lie.  a fantasy.  a made up story in your head.  Our minds are our toolbox..filled with wonderful tools that were picked up along the way in our quit journey.  As you pick up these tools, you learn to apply them to practice.  Each time you do, it strengthens your quit.    After repeatedly doing the same things over and over..Mantras, coming to the board, reading posting,, drinking water, exercising, writing in a journal...whatever tools work for you...eventually they do stick.  They become automatic.
     
     You become amazed and so happy and excited that you have finally found freedom.  You see the glimpse that it is doable.  It's an amazing journey newbies!!  Embrace it.  Don't fight against it.  Every Time a craving comes....smile and say "BRING IT ON!!!"  Because you know that it's GO TIME..a chance to use the tools.  
     
    Use the tools to control the chatter.  Question your thoughts....and you will most likely find...you are full of crap.  Get out of your own way and let the healing begin!!
     
    I love my freedom!!!  You will too!  .  
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/3735-mind-games/
     
     
  8. jillar

    The First "No Thank You"

    By jillar,


    General
    Rooster
    Quit Date: 1/1/2014
     
    Posted January 9, 2015 · IP 
    Hi everyone, in preparation for a night around some smokers I wanted to write down an accomplishment from yesterday which I will be repeating as many times as necessary this evening. My first no thank you. Since I stopped smoking, I was pretty surprised at how easy it has been relative to my expectations. I had prepared for the worse, but I have realized over the last few weeks that I really hadn't been buying many and as such didn't have very many triggers. I did have one however, the offer.
     
    As I had scaled back my personal smoking, only my social smoking remained, and it was something I was happy to have remain. I was quick to jump on any offer for a quick jump outside, either at work or with friends. This I knew would be my big obstacle.
     
    Well, last night I went out to dinner with a friend (my new roommate) who smokes occasionally. Dinner was great and we had a few drinks, another common partner of smoking with me. As we left I knew what was to come, I had run through the scenario in my head to prepare and it had always ended in awkwardness. I had shared my quit with him, but out of habit and some twisted sense of generosity he offered me another out of his pocket. There they were, the pangs, the slippery devil saying, well maybe just one... the fear of missing out. But while I did feel that impulse for a second it was followed by a "No thanks, I don't anymore" and everything dissipated. No awkwardness, no real compulsion anymore, just two friends walking home in their new reality.
     
    I know this is just one win, and it will need to be repeated maybe hundreds of more time, but I immensely proud to have gotten over what for me is the big obstacle of trigger. As I had out tonight to enjoy myself at a favorite bar, listening to a friends band with a crowd of people, some of whom I've known for 3/4ths of my life and some of whom smoke, I am comforted and invigorated by this victory and the knowledge that I have all of you in my pocket, just a few clicks away, supporting me on this journey. Thank you all so much.
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/4130-the-first-no-thank-you/
     
  9. jillar
    Colleen
    Ginger
    Quit Date: 6/2/13
     
    Posted January 2, 2015 · IP 
     
    We all have a moment or two (sometimes more) after quitting and see our former self in a smoker.  We see a smoker doing something unbelievably ridiculous.  Something that we as smokers, did or easily could have done.  As a smoker, it would have have been impossible to realize or if we did realize, we just didn't care...the addiction was that powerful.  I have lots of habits I buried with my smoker self.  Was reminded of one today.
     
    I took my grandmother out today, she needed some shopping done and had a quick check up at her oncologist's office.  She is 89 and hard of hearing, with moderate COPD  so she needs a little help.  She had a basal cell carcinoma on her scalp removed and another was found and that was removed as well recently.  She is in the clear, next check up not till the spring.  Please wear sunscreen people, anything that is exposed to the sun needs protection.  
     
    Anyway, clearly I've run away from my point.  We parked and turned around to the entrance of the oncology clinic.  A woman leaving the clinic opened the door and lit up a cigarette.  Never mind that you are on hospital grounds and no smoking is allowed.  An oncology clinic, HELLO what are you thinking?  Have you lost your ever loving mind?  These thoughts and more raced through my head.  As we approach the door, she hold the door open for us, blowing smoke right at us.  I tried to be discreet in covering my nose and mouth.  I have mild COPD that has been behaving very well since I quit smoking and refuse to breathe in smoke.  Meanwhile, my grandmother has that constant cough and inside my head I am starting to fume that the woman holding the door blowing smoke in our faces just doesn't get it.  Then again, she is an addict and won't understand until she is removed from the source.
     
    Thing is, as a smoker none of that would seem strange to me.  I did a lot to get my fix as a smoker, hiding behind bushes to smoke when I shouldn't have.  
     
    It made me think, what were your irrational behaviors as a smoker?
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/4046-irrational-behaviors-of-smokerswhat-were-yours/
     
  10. jillar

    The story of a mountain girl...

    By jillar,


    General
    Ladybug
    Posted August 22, 2014 · IP 
     
    I am a "mountain girl" and I know a thing or two about hiking. I was born in a small village in the Alps, directly on the boarder between Italy and Austria, hiking was mandatory -not optional. There was an old joke going around about babies being born with hiking boots, skies and a backpack and I assume its still being told until this day. Not so far off the truth, I have been told I could ski before I actually walked. 
     
     
    Sometimes tourists came to town and stayed for a while in houses like ours. They paid for "room and board" and were treated like King and Queens. Some of us were "hired" for guidance and it was serious business. We all knew the way through the forest and through the mountains; we knew what to show them and where to go to. All of us were able to guide them, however the hiking part was something they had to do on their own -very often for our entertainment (if I may say so). At first I was just the assistant, but then I got my first group alone when I was 15 and I was filled with pride. I planed the tour for days; I knew in which cabin we would eat, where we would rest and I packed my backpack with care. I knew from others that I could run into problems with the tourist-folks. A first-aid kit was needed, because some of them would get blisters as big as tennis balls, just because they went hiking with brand new fancy boots (really?) Some emergency food, flashlights, flares and some other "stuff" and I was ready.
     
     
    I got up at the crack of dawn and collected my tourists and off we went. I showed them the mountain in the distance, the one we would all climb and I got a mixed reactions. Some were excited and couldn't wait to be up there and some felt overwhelmed and started doubting themselves just by looking at it.
     
     
     
    It only took one or two hours depending on traffic (hayrides and tractor pick-ups) and we reached our destiny and could start our real hiking tour. The beginning is always the hardest, especially when it starts with a steep rise right away. I could hear them huffing and puffing and some wanted to turn around right from the start -like that was an option. It got better after a few hours, we left the treeline behind us and hiked in a steady pace, surrounded by beautiful vegetation and animals.
     
     
     
    There wasn't much complaining anymore, they pointed out the different views and enjoyed the tour. We took some breaks, drunk fresh cow milk and ate the apples and butter-sandwiches that we had packed. Even the shortest break somehow recharged the "complaint-department" and some of them started whining again. They wanted to "turn around" and just go back, they were complaining that their bones were hurting and that the tour was just too much, much more then they expected it to be.
     
     
     
    They really didn't have a choice, turning around was only a option in emergencies and they knew it. Some people are just born complainers, they will find a "hair in the soup" before the soup is even served. They expected shortcuts, more breaks and they were wishing for a cable lift and an easy transport right to the top.
     
     
     
    Of course that didn't happen. I was a tough girl, cracked the verbal whip (or played just dumb) and we continued our hiking tour. 
     
     
     
    A few hours later we made it to the top and were rewarded with a breathtaking view. Some just sat there quietly and took it all in, others made a big fuzz out of it. But we all were proud that we made it to the top. Now everybody was just in "awe" and even the one who complained the most, were finally quiet and just filled with pride and joy. Numerous pictures were taken, later on the evidence when they would talk about their hiking tour back home.
     
     
     
    I often read "I just stopped smoking...please pray for me" and I never really knew what to say, until today when I found this quote.
     
     
     "There are too many people praying for mountains of difficulty to be removed, when what they really need is courage to climb them."
     
     
    Isn't the road to freedom of an addiction like a hiking tour in the mountains?
     
     
    You don't need prayers, you need courage and strengths. Start hiking and don't look at it as being a difficulty, look at it as being the road to success. Hike without looking back and without complaints, look forward and think about how you will feel when you reach the top. No shortcuts, no help from a cable lift...just you and your addiction. Take it all in and look forward!
     
     
    Guidance is available at places like  https://www.quittrain.com -you don't have to "hike" alone, other ex-smokers will be on your side. It's similar to the AA meetings just online and it feels so good to talk to people who understand how you feel, because they all have started there on the foot of the mountain ones.
     
     
    In the future when I will read "I stopped smoking, please pray for me" a link to this post will be my answer 🙂
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/2384-the-story-of-a-mountain-girl/
     
  11. jillar

    Constant Mindgames?

    By jillar,


    General
    ssharonsif
    Posted August 25, 2014 · IP 
     
    I read way back and thoughts it might be useful to those who end up in a relapse, or in fear of giving quitting another crack.
     
    Bear in mind Dr Steve Peters calls the limbic part the 'chimp' and the 'human' is the frontal. Hope this helps in understand why it's not about will power.
     
    All information goes to the chimp first. The process is always the same as you go about your daily routines: in every situation and action, all input goes through your chimp first. The chimp then decides if there is anything to worry about. If there is no concern then the chimp goes to sleep and hands over to the human.
     
    So I personally see now how my craves just stopped, I often say went to sleep because they did.
     
    If the chimp is concerned, then it will hold on to the blood supply in the brain and will make it's own decisions on what is going on. The human and chimp both think in the here and now and both interpret as they happen. The human interprets things a calm and logical manner. The chimp interprets things in an emotional manner.
     
    The chimp and the human can work effectively together. The chimp with its instincts and drives can keep us safe and healthy. It can tell us when to eat and sleep, and warn us of danger and how to deal with it, or when there is something it would like to engage with to fulfil its own desires. ( smoking )
     
    It is the norm for most of us to run on emotion throughout our day and there is nothing wrong with this. Problems arise when the chimp gives us a suggestion that is not appropriate and we then allow it to control us and don't know how to stop the chimp from dominating us.
     
    Why can't we take the power off the chimp and make decisions?
    The simple answer is that the chimp is more powerful and acts more quickly than the human. A real chimpanzee has five times the strength of a human. In the same way, you can think of your emotional inner chimp as having five times your strength. There- fore, you must learn to manage the chimp if you are to be the person that you want to be. A non smoker
     
    It is no use trying to control a chimp with willpower. I call this 'arm- wrestling the chimp'. We all learn at about the age of three that will power in not a very good way to do most things. It only works when the chimp is asleep, indifferent or agrees. When the chimp has a different agenda then willpower goes out of the window. So we must learn different ways to deal with the chimp.
     
     
     
    I can see for myself that both time and patience gave my logical brain (human) the tools it needed to work effectively with my chimp. So obviously my chimp lost the constant here and now need to light up a cigarette, which obviously gave me the much needed peace I cherish. You find your own ways obviously, many use education, some NrT, some just saying NOPE is enough, we are all different.
     
    I just wrote this out as I thought it might prove helpful to those out there who get frustrated with the constant inner mind wars that go on, instead of feeling weak I hope it helps you understand what is actually going on.
     
    The book is The Chimp Paradox, by Dr Steve Peters. Not a stop smoking book, more of a control the inner thoughts book.
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/2422-constant-mindgames/
     
  12. jillar

    Mindset Really Is Everything

    By jillar,


    General
    babs609
    Quit Date: 07/13/2012
     
     
    Posted August 23, 2014 · IP 
    There have been discussions recently about NOPE and how it doesn't resonate well with some.  I understand that feeling.  When I was fresh in my quit the first few months, I wanted to believe those that have quit before me.  I wanted their sense of peacefulness and satisfaction with life without the cigarette.  I just couldn't imagine it and the daily restlessness that was occurring made it even more difficult to wrap my brain around it.  
    I tend to have a scientific mind.  I want proof of things.  I had a hard time just saying NOPE...
     
    But one thing I knew.  These people weren't stronger than me.  They weren't special.  I was not more addicted nor was my circumstances any more unique than theirs.  I have had tough times in my life..just like them.  So, I decided....I am just going to "go with it".  I will put all my faith in NOPE (blind faith).  I will eat, sleep, drink, laugh, and walk NOPE.  ( a few times when I craved, I would actually go for a walk and with each step, over and over I would chant the letters N.O.P.E, not one puff ever...smoking is not an option.  Over and over...over and over....(took a peek; no--still unsettled, still not feeling it)  so...continue...NOPE, NOPE, NOPE, NOPE
     
    Finally finally finally....around the 6th month..i started to really feel it.  I got it. 
    Doesn't mean I always felt it...the first year was a struggle at times...I'm not gonna lie...but once i "got it"  I knew I would "get it"  again.
     
    Just got back from a vacation.  I am more than 2 years quit.  Vacation was peaceful and relaxing...sometimes too peaceful and boring at times....those were the times i would have filled the void with a smoke.  Especially because the person I was with smokes like a chimney and was constantly out on the balcony puffing away.  My cravings this past week were incredible.  No weaker than they were 2 years ago.  The difference is...I know better.  I know it's a trick...I know it will pass...and I know I will be a happier, healthier person because of it.
     
    So.....I went for a lot of runs to burn off that energy.  It worked...I came back a non smoker...and 3 pounds lighter! 
     
    So you see.....it matters not how long you are quit.  There are people who have quit for 15 or 20 years who still want a cigarette at times....and some of them..because they are not educated about nicotine addiction...they actually stayed quit "in spite of" themselves and their thinking.  They think they gave something up.  When in reality, they escaped. I am grateful I am not one of those people.  Could you imagine refraining from doing something you desperately want to do for 20 years...day in and day out??  no....not me..and if that was the case....I would never have quit smoking.  I would have resolved to stay a smoker for life.
     
    It really is simple...it really is easy...and NOPE is really truly the way for me.  It really is.
     
    Easy peasy
     

     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/2399-mindset-really-is-everything/
     
  13. jillar

    Intentions

    By jillar,


    General
    babs609
    Posted April 2, 2014 
     
    Each month-I participate in running a brain injury/stroke support group. It's very fulfilling and I get such a level of satisfaction by helping these folks get together once a month to support each other, much like we do here. To some of them-this is their only social outing and they look forward to it. I learn so much from them; it's a very humbling experience.
    Anyway....the point of this post is--tonight we have a guest speaker. A Neurologist. She's talking about non-conventional treatment for recovery from stroke. One is mediation, which I love. The other is intention therapy...which involves the brain telling the body part to move. Takes a long time. Baby steps. Maybe you can't get the whole arm to move but perhaps start with the thumb. Studies show it works. I believe it.
    When I was 5 I had severe internal rotation of my feet. In laymans terms i was pigeon- toed. (For years i thought i was related to pigeons) I was teased horribly at school so my mom took me to the foot doctor. The remedy back then? Big huge ugly red shoes. I was teased by my peers even worse! I refused to wear those shoes after 1 day and decided I was going to learn to walk correctly on my own. I was determined. So for the next 2 weeks, I walked up and down my living room forcing my feet to walk straight. I practiced every day and I was always acutely aware of my gait and walked with intention. Guess what? I did it.
     
    That got me thinking about the quit. NOPE, smoking is not an option, one day at a time, there is no such thing as one cigarette, I am a non smoker, non smokers don't smoke, non smokers have stress too.
    All these sayings are done with intention. Way before you really even truly believe it. You just repeat , repeat, repeat until your brain finally catches on and it becomes automatic. The brain is a phenomenal organ. Used wisely--you really can accomplish anything.
     
    So....Listen...repeat it...believe it.
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/77-intentions/
     
  14. jillar
    Still winning
    Posted September 29, 2014 · IP 
     
    I have spent a lot of my time over the last 6 months watching quit videos, reading stories, blogs, googling. I have read about nicotine addiction and health implications and self worth.  I would like to think I am a reformed addict. So rewind.....
     
    I want to quit smoking but
     
    -I'm told it's so hard
    -I will feel lousy for months
    -I can't see a world where I can't smoke again
    -Forever is too big
     
    Then I joined a forum and took a sigh of relief. I don't have to contemplate forever, I just have to not smoke today. Phew! That I can do. This is what we/I offer you. Don't over think it. Tell yourself Smoking is not on the table (SNOT)for today. Not One Puff Ever (NOPE) just for today.  Because tomorrow is another day! 
     
    So many quits, (so many of my quits! were/) are lost through chronic over thinking - before the addiction message really has a chance to hit home. We are told "you will know"...really? I never knew, did you? 
     
    This feels like the elusive message. The one we don't talk of but why not?? We are afraid to quit, afraid to fail at the quit and can't contemplate a life where we can't smoke. This feeling doesn't last. Nor should you cosy up with it and spend quality time together as you will just panic yourself. 
     
    The truth is this, forever, at anything!, is far too overwhelming as a starting point and that's really real. So deciding to quit is great, do that! Not smoking today is great, do that! Go to sleep and wake up, not smoking today is great, do that!! Literally take one day at a time. All we have is "now" and tomorrow is not promised to anyone.
     
    Fear is no reason to not try, nor is it a reason to hurtle over the proverbial cliff edge. Baby steps, like you are protecting something very precious and take each day as it comes. Fear kills too many great choices.
     
    Don't smoke today. This day, this hour, this minute. Whatever that takes. We will carry you when it feels hard, for today.
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/2878-feel-the-fear-and-do-it-anyway/
     
  15. jillar
    Nancy
    Posted August 22, 2018 · IP 
     
    FILLING THE PAGES by Eric

    A common topic a quitter might talk about since they quit smoking, is the fact that there seems to be void in their life now. Now that they're not smoking it feels as if the days have grown longer and they are unsure of how to fill this time. Sometimes this can actually put stress the new quitter, because this is so unfamiliar to them.

    Cigarettes have been so deeply intertwined in their life for so long, that the new quitter is constantly being reminded that they no longer smoke just from everyday activities.

    They may ask how do they unwind after work now that they don't smoke? How do they deal with stress, now that they don't smoke? How do they punctuate finishing a task now that they don't smoke?

    For the smoker, that cigarette after finishing a task was like putting the period at the end of sentence. Now that they don't smoke, daily tasks can just feel like a long running sentence with no punctuation.

    The cigarette was also like the smoker's pause button. If they needed to concentrate on doing something or were under a stressful situation. They would step back, smoke a cigarette and think about how to resolve the problem. Now that they don't smoke, there doesn't seem to be a pause button for the quitter. That magic button that says" Whoa give me a minute" is now gone. Now they are just left with the situation and a very unfamiliar way that they now have to deal with it without the cigarette.

    One thing that should be pointed out though, is that we have lived our lives and dealt with stress DESPITE smoking, NOT because of it.

    There was a fellow quitter that was talking about this and it was really stressing her out. She was having a hard time dealing with stress and everyday scenarios without smoking. She was getting discouraged about this and felt that her life just felt kind of empty since she quit. She felt that there was now a void in her life.

    One thing she said though, that I thought was an interesting way to look at it, was that she said that since she quit smoking, was that she felt she now had to rewrite her life.

    When I read this, for some reason it reminded me of someone writing a screenplay about the day in the life of a smoker. This is what it might say.

    -----------------------------------------------------------------
    THE DAY IN THE LIFE OF A SMOKER.

    Dear (anonymous)

    I'm just making this up, but let's just say this is how your typical day when you smoked would look like.

    You wake up. Smoke a cigarette. You get ready for work. Smoke a cigarette. You have breakfast. Smoke a cigarette. You get in your car and drive to work. Smoke a cigarette. You get to work. Smoke a cigarette before going inside. You go to coffee break at work. Smoke a cigarette. You go to lunch. Smoke a cigarette. You go to second break. Smoke a cigarette. Maybe something stressful happens at work. Sneak out and smoke a cigarette. After work, as you drive home, you smoke a cigarette. You get home and unwind. Smoke a cigarette. You cook dinner. Smoke a cigarette. After eating dinner. Smoke a cigarette. Have a glass of wine or beer and of course smoke a cigarette. Watch TV. Smoke a cigarette. Get ready for bed. Smoke a cigarette. Before going to bed. Smoke a cigarette.

    Let's say that it took 5 pages to write the screenplay "In the daily life of (anonymous)."

    Now that you don't smoke, you're not so much rewriting your daily life, but more of editing out a lot of useless dialog in your screenplay that isn't needed to tell the story.

    The problem is that now after all that editing, what use to take 5 pages to tell the story, now only takes 3 pages. Now you still have 2 blank pages that you're carrying around with you and you don't know what to do with them. This can cause anxiety. You have been so used to writing your daily life with 5 pages that writing it with only having to use 3 pages feels like there is a void in the story.

    Really take a look at the dialog that you edited though and put that down on the 2 remaining pages.

    Here's what it would say: Smoke a cigarette. Smoke a cigarette. Smoke a cigarette. Smoke a cigarette. Smoke a cigarette. Smoke a cigarette. Smoke a cigarette. Smoke a cigarette. Smoke a cigarette. Smoke a cigarette. Smoke a cigarette. Smoke a cigarette. Smoke a cigarette. Smoke a cigarette. Smoke a cigarette. Smoke a cigarette. Smoke a cigarette. Smoke a cigarette. etc, etc.

    You can see how useless this dialog is. It doesn't even help tell your story and on it's own it makes no sense. It's just repeated blabber.

    You have two choices now. You can either take these pages and just throw them away, because you no longer need them anymore. Or you can take these two remaining pages and add something to your story. Something that maybe you've wanted to add for sometime now, but just have never done it, because this addiction was taking up those two pages. These two pages are no longer being wasted on telling the story of your addiction. They are now yours to tell any story that you wish to tell.

    It isn't so much that since you quit smoking, that there is a void in your life. It is more that smoking created that void, because it took away from you. That was YOUR time being wasted, it was NOT being filled. Now that you have freed yourself from cigarettes, don't think of it as leaving a hole in your life. Think of it as giving back the endless possibilities of living life as YOU again.

    Also don't think that you need a cigarette to deal with life's stress.

    It isn't that you were able to deal with stress better when you smoked. It's just that you've done it for so long that way, that you are having to relearn how to do it without cigarettes. It's new and unfamiliar. Smoking under stress was a combination of relieving withdrawal, but it also gave you a minute or two to reflect on what was causing the initial stress.

    If you're under stress and where the times you would smoke a cigarette, what I would do is stop. Step back and give yourself a moment just like you would do when you smoked, but now breathe deeply, calm yourself and focus on what you need to do to alleviate what is causing the stress.

    Don't feel that if you're under stress that you have to attack it head on because cigarettes are no longer there to buffer what it happening. You can very easily do this without smoking. You can step back and give yourself a moment to collect yourself and you can do it without cigarettes. They are a useless middleman and you know that cigarettes don't relieve stress. They only relieve withdrawal. They don't deserve that kind of credit.

    You should be proud of yourself, because you have taken your pages back.

    The pages are yours now. Fill them any way you choose

    Eric
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/10920-filling-the-pagesrepost-from-eric/
     
  16. jillar

    Executive Assistant

    By jillar,


    General
    El Bandito
    Posted April 20, 2014 · IP 
     
    The below is a repost of a repost of a repost...
     
    It is a post that I have found invaluable. I posted it somewhere else today - and LB suggested it have a thread of its own....
     
    Triggers: Reminders From Your Executive Assistant 


    Original post : Kattatonic Gold/ Freedom member. 


    "It's all in your head" has developed a really bad rap in our culture. What's up with that? The power of the brain is remarkable. We should marvel and be impressed. 

    Has anyone told you that since physical withdrawal is over... get a grip... or get over it... or something like that? 

    What about patience with yourself? You've been informed that it's psychological after 2 weeks . Do you think the impulse to smoke should stop now, now, now? 

    Do you think impulses after you have quit for a while indicate you are weak? 
    Quite the contrary, actually. Your brain is working as designed. 

    Okay, listen up. Your brain is amazing. Every time you do anything, one function your brain performs is to try to save you time and prevent you from repeating past mistakes. So quickly and subconsciously, your brain scans the memory banks for similar circumstances whenever you do anything. When it finds comparable history, it compares that with what you are doing now and alerts you to differences, just like an efficient little assistant. 



    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
    Yesterday I pulled on my day pack, went out the front door and turned left to walk up the street. Suddenly I am hit with a trigger. Why? Because I haven't turned left off my front stoop since before I quit. I quit in the winter and I have either gone out the back door to my car, or turned right to walk to the subway. Turning left means I am going to bother to walk to the grocery, which I haven't done since I quit. 

    The part of my brain that tries to save me time, let's call him the Executive Assistant (the EA), recalled past left turns from the stoop. He went down a checklist. What did she need / what did she use on previous excursions like this? Wallet? Check. Keys? Check. Bags? Check. Smokes? NOPE. "Ah, ah, ah, excuse me!" I could imagine him running up behind me yesterday as I set out and picked up pace. "You've forgotten your cigarettes! You're going to need your cigarettes when you get to the café!" (I treat myself to a special coffee when I bother to walk to the market.) 

    Remember all those times you forgot your cigarettes and kicked yourself? It was such an inconvenience when you were an active using addict. Back then, your reaction went something like this: "Memo to self. Don't forget the cigarettes!" What I'm calling the 'EA' function in your brain monitors these memos. He got the memos and he's acting on them. He got thousands of memos like that! 

    The poor guy is just trying to do his job. So I thanked my EA for trying to save me frustration, reminded him that I no longer smoke and that he should refer to the new Never Take Another Puff memo. 

    After my coffee up the street, I paused to listen to the Let's-Smoke trigger, a little different and a more uncomfortable than the Forgot-Your-Cigarettes trigger. There he was again, but this time trying to get me to actually smoke! What a guy! His reasoning? "You've eaten, walked and coffeed, you're about to shop... you are going to want a smoke before you know it and you'd always rather smoke here than while walking home. Always! Always!" 

    This guy is no dummy. I did in fact send him that memo many, many times. For heavens sake, I smoked for 25 years. The filing cabinets are full of those old memos. 

    How to teach an old dog new tricks? Well the EA in our brains can and does learn new routines all the time. We may learn slower as we age but we do still learn and adapt, especially if we do it consciously. We have to note new memos to ourselves, sometimes several times and we have to be kind to ourselves... or our ‘EAs’. The kinder and calmer you are, the more chance you have of him 'getting it' each time. So what to do in the café? 

    I said to my EA, "Thanks! I appreciate the reminder but you have to look at the newer One = All memo again. I am not going to smoke today or ever. Please remember that coffee time is no longer smoke time." 

    He will get it; I know he will. It will just take a while and a walk through all my various scenarios. He is really very, very good. He learned so well the first time -- I have to give him time to learn the new mandate. 

    Thanks for reading my ramblings. You are doing it,! It is doable! It does get better and it is worth it... wait! Make that, YOU are worth it. Yes, you are.The factor that really shows the addiction is not how hard or how easy it is to quit. What really shows the addiction is how universally easy it is to go back. One puff and the quit can go out the window.UCanQuit 
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/805-executive-assistant/
     
  17. jillar
    Markus
    Quit Date: 02-19-2008
    Posted October 28, 2018 · IP  (edited)
     
     
    I haven't been around that much but I was here yesterday and was glad to see all of the long quits. I haven't written in a few years but would like to post a few thoughts about the quit process.
     
    Looking at the new and young quits, and the never-ending fight to gain a foothold on the sticky quit, I just wanted to let the newer quits I see on the QT know, that you'll get there too, by sticking to your plan and what you will learn as you stay quit.
     
    This is only a mind game, where your self control is being tested constantly. It wears on you as you overcome the triggering of craves through attrition, trying to process them simply as your mind/body healing itself naturally through recognition and reaction. That someting so elementary is so taxing is hard to understand sometimes.
     
    It really requires no action other than acknowledgement of the particular craving and the processing of it.
     
    Repetition is the key. The first triggers and craves that you will defeat are the ones you encounter the most. The most infrequent ones are the last to fall, and they do, through repetition.
     
    If you will just keep doing your normal daily and nightly activities sans the nicotine delivery, eventually you'll roll over the addiction and leave it behind. Sounds overly simplistic reading this but remember that you will trigger and crave and try to understand what caused it. Don't be alarmed and dont make a hasty judgement, because sometimes you can't put your finger on the particular cause to your effect.
     
    Could be romancing the cigarette subconsciously and missing that old smoky life, since things have changed and you don't know who you are sometimes. I mean you were this... smoker... and now maybe scared and are wanting to go back to what you see as normal. That is when you get tough and remember that you control your own mind and heart and that you call the shots. It's okay to feel weak, but know that you didn't get this way in a few days so it will take a few months of honest work to get out of the hole.
     
    You will make it, even if you feel like you won't. This will not kill you but it will make you unbelievably strong if you'll just stick to your quit plan and your back up plan, and allow yourself some time to heal.
     
    So be militant anti smoking, and  remember that you are in a fight and that you are unwinding your whole being from the addiction so walk like it and act like it.
     
    Once smoking and cigarettes were every part of you, and now...well now they are not. That hurts and that is painful, but it is the work you have to do, so let the process work. Pay it forward, and stay as strong as you can as you use what you have learned.
     
    And if you fall, it isn't the end. You start again. A dream becomes a wish, and that wish becomes your reality as you work the quit. Time is on your side now, so dont give that addiction any more of you. You're in control of your mind and body and you've taken the chains off. Don't put them back on.
     
    KTQ
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/11327-the-rear-view-mirror-and-years-quit/
     
     
     
  18. jillar
    October 30, 2016 · IP 
    The recovered alcoholic, the heroin addict, the nicotine addict, deep down each knows the "Law of Addiction."  They've heard it over and over again.  Just one sip, one tiny fix, or one little puff of nicotine, just once, that's all it takes and the addict is back!  They know that either immediately or in a short period of time they'll once again be slaves to their old level of drug use or greater.  We know the Law of Addiction so why do we break it?
     
    There are three primary factors associated with relapse: (1) rewriting the law of addiction; (2) an excuse; and (3) a vague memory.  It doesn't matter if it happens within two hours, two days, two weeks, two months, two years, or twenty, the factors remain the same and apply to all of us.  Rewriting the law of addiction is easy and you don't need a pencil, paper or computer to do it.
     
    Amending the Law of Addition
    "Just one puff" and then "do not pass go, do not collect $200, but go directly to the addict's prison and surrender your freedom for good."  It isn't that the recovering nicotine addict doesn't know or believe the law of addiction because we do.  It's just that we begin to believe that we're the exception.  We convince ourselves that we're stronger and smarter than those who discovered the law, and wiser than all addicts who came before us.  We amend the law.  We put ourselves above it.  "Just one, it'll be ok, I can handle it, I'm stronger than the others, a little reward, it's been a while, I've earned it."
     
    I'm sorry.  As soon as such thoughts begin infecting the mind they tend to start feeding on themselves and in all likelihood your body's period of healing and freedom is over.  Your dreams and hard work are all being thrown into a dirty toilet that one puff of nicotine is about to flush.
     
    Instead of saying that you can handle "just one," a truthful statement would have been "I can handle them all, give them all back to me, my entire addiction, all the ashtrays, the coughs, the stink, the endless stream of 4,000 plus deadly chemicals that come with each puff (including up to 81 known cancer causing agents), the constant gradual destruction of every cell in my lungs and the gradual clogging and hardening of every blood vessel in my body, the 50/50 chance of killing myself 13-14 years early, all the money it will cost me to stay enslaved for years and years to come (together with massive future price increases designed to get me to quit), the growing social pressures that will make me feel even more like an outcast, I want it all back, all of it!"
     
    It's far easier for the junkie mind to create a one puff or one cigarette exception to the law" than admit the truth.  A one pack a day addiction is 7,300 cigarettes a year.  Don't picture smoking just one.  Instead, picture yourself sticking at least a year's supply into your mouth all at once. Try fitting them all into your mouth because in truth that's exactly where they'll be going, year after year after year.  "To thine own self be true."   You deserve the truth - you paid the price - you earned it.
     
    The Perfect Excuse
    The excuse can be anything.  Usually the addict waits for that great excuse to come along, but some get tired of waiting and any old excuse will do.  Even joy!  A reunion with an old smoking buddy, a few drinks with friends, a wedding, a graduation, or even a baby's birth and a free nicotine laden cigar, or trying a harmless looking new nicotine delivery device like the 27 flavors of suckers, the straw, lozenges, candy or even nicotine water or soda, why not!  But joyful or even stupid nicotine relapse is harder to explain to yourself and those you love.
     
    The smart nicotine addict waits for the great excuse, the one that we know we can sell to ourselves and others.  As sick as it may sound, the easiest to sell and the best of all is the death of a loved one.  Although everyone we love is destined to die and it'll happen sooner or later, for the reformed addict it's the perfect excuse for relapse.  I mean, who can blame us for ingesting highly addictive drugs into our bodies upon our mother's death.  Anyone who does would have to be extremely insensitive or totally heartless!  Right?  Losing a job, the end of a relationship, serious illness, disease or financial problems are all great excuses too - it's drug time again!  The addict is back!
     
    Lost Memories
    But an excuse doesn't work alone.  It needs help.  Failing memories of "why" we were willing to put ourselves through the anxieties and emotion of physical withdrawal, and weeks and weeks of psychological adjustment in order to break free, breathe fatal life into any excuse.  Most of us failed to keep a detailed record of why we commenced recovery or what it was like.  Instead, we are forced to rely upon our memory to accurately and vividly preserve the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.  But now, the memory in which we placed all our trust has failed us.
     
    It isn't that your memory is bad, faulty or doing anything wrong.  In fact, it's working as it should to preserve in as much detail as possible the joyful events of life, while forgetting, as quickly as possible, all the pain and anguish that we've felt, including our disdain for the addict's life we lived.  To have our brains do otherwise would make life inside our minds unbearable.  If women were forced to remember the true agony and intense pain of childbirth, most would have just one.  We are each blessed with the gift to forget.
     
    So how does the reformed nicotine addict who failed to keep accurate records of their journey revive their passion for freedom and recall liberty's price?  If we forget the past, are we destined to repeat it?  Not necessarily.  It doesn't have to be.  But just as any loving relationship needs nourishment to flourish, we can never take our recovery for granted or the flame will eventually die and the fire will go out.  We have to want to protect this glory until the day we die.  We have to turn that "want" into action.  If we do, we win.  If not, our fate may be up in the air with serious risk of relapse followed by crippling disease or even a very early grave.
     
    Whether it's daily, weekly or monthly, our recovery needs care.  If you don't have a detailed log to regularly review when faced with adversity, upon each anniversary of your quit, or at each birthday, do your best to create one now.  Talk to those still smoking and ask for help in revitalizing your memories.  Encourage them to be as truthful as possible.  Although they may look like they're enjoying their addiction to smoking nicotine, the primary joy they get is in keeping their body's blood serum nicotine level within the comfort zone, so as to avoid the onset of the anxieties and craves of early withdrawal.  Show them your pen and paper and invite them to help you create your list.  You may even cause a spark in them.  Be kind and sincere.  It wasn't long ago that those were our shoes.
     
    Also, try envisioning the first week. What was it like?  Can you still feel the powerful craves as your body begged and cried to be fed?  Can you still feel the pain?  Do you see yourself not being able to concentrate, having difficulty sleeping, feeling depressed, angry, irritable, frustrated, restless, with tremendous anxiety, a foggy mind, sweating palms, rapidly cycling emotions, irrational thinking, emotional outbursts or even the shakes?  Do you remember these things?  Do you remember the price you paid for freedom?  Do you remember why you were willing to pay it?
     
    If you have access to a computer, you won't need a smoker's help or even to recall the early days of your own journey.  You can go on-line to scores of smoking cessation support groups and find thousands of battles being fought, hear tons of cries and watch hundreds struggling for survival as they cling to the promise of the rich sense of inner calmness, quiet and comfort that lies beyond.  Visit as often as possible.  Make a few posts to those in need.  The most important thing you can tell them is the truth about why you are there.  Tell them how comfortable and complacent you've become.  It's what they yearn to hear!  Many smoked their entire adult life and have a difficult time believing that withdrawal isn't permanent.  Fear of the unknown is frightening.  Help them and in doing so help yourself.
     
    If you find yourself attempting to rewrite the law of addiction, stop, think, remember, read, revisit, revive and give to others, but most important, be honest with you.  Terrible and emotional events will happen in each of our lives - such is life.  Adding full-blown nicotine relapse to any situation won't fix, correct or undo your underlying concern.  In your mind, plan for disaster today.  How will you cope and keep your healing alive should the person you love most in this world suddenly die?  What will you do? 
     
    Remember, we've only traded places with our chemical dependency and the key to the cell is one puff of nicotine.  As long as we stay on this side of the bars, we are the jailors and our dependency the prisoner. We only have two choices. We can complete this temporary period of adjustment and enjoy comfortable probation for life or we can smoke nicotine, relapse, and intentionally inflict cruel and unusual punishment upon these innocent bodies for the remainder of their life, together with inviting a 50/50 chance that you'll be putting yourself to death. If the first choice sounds better - comfortable lifetime probation - then we each need only follow one simple rule - NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF!
     
    Breathe deep, hug hard, live long!
    John
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/7669-caring-for-our-quit-by-john-r-polito/
     
  19. jillar

    Keep It - Your Quit, Your Shield

    By jillar,


    General
    Bassman
    Posted September 17, 2014 · IP 
     
    Some people cannot go through something without having to put something on it or tag something to it.  That makes it justified for what is going on.
     
     
     
      When I started smoking there was no one week, 2 week, monthly celebration for the start, no woopie I have been smoking for 6 months......But during many yearly anniversaries from the start of my smoking, I  wished I had never started....But there is no name for that situation, just a wish that I had the power to fulfill but didn't for 35 years.
     
     
     
      When I finally did the needful and quit, I was filled with excitement and extreme joy that I finally quit.  I fulfilled something I wished for for 35 years....now that is something to be proud of.....In fact so proud and happy, I let that emotion over cloud the craves, urges, or trigger, then and now.  
     
     
     
       I wanted and needed to stop so I did and with that being my goal, I never saw a need to question any part of my quit.  Yes the urges, temptations,  craves, addiction, taste in the mouth, subconscious smoking habits, all were and sometimes still here.  I have to live with it because I myself alone brought the addiction to me..... But I don't have to accept it, I only need to protect and stay vigilant to my quit.....I just have to make sure I don't get a cigarette and smoke it......ane the more I do that, the more stronger my quit becomes.
     
     
     
      Point here is to continue to accept your quit from your decision to stop smoking.  Just don't smoke, ............ because you no longer smoke for your own reasons.  Don't worry about how you are going through it because you will come out the winner....you will come surfing out of that perfect 15 foot wave hole free and clear with joy in your soul.  You are accomplishing what you set out to do and that accomplishment is filled with health, money, and self confidence,  not to mention what it means to family, friends and loved ones.
     
     
     
    Enjoy your quit, embrace it, let your quit be your shield ..............Bassman
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/2712-keep-it-your-quit-your-shield/
     
  20. jillar

    It's All Relative

    By jillar,


    General
    babs609
    Posted June 27, 2014 · 
     
    Coming close to the 2 year mark for me and as i look back at my quit smoking journey I recongnize the transformation that has occurred in my life since that lucky Friday the 13th back in 2012.  
     
    The transition was slow....of course in the beginning...it was all about quitting smoking.  That had to take priority.  It was the fight of my life and I was in the ring (like Rocky fighting against the big Russian dude)  It was all about the quit.
     
    Fast forward a few months and my ambition and drive was wavering a little.  I was now 20 pounds heavier....the excitement from being a non smoker was fading, my personal life was very stressful (cause I was focusing on everyone else) and I just didn't feel as good as I envisioned I would.
     
    That was the crossroad for me....I could either continue on the downward spiral and eventually at some point pick up smoking again...or focus hard on my fitness...my health overall.  
     
    Took me a while, and I have a long way to go...but i'm seeing my body changing and the strength I have is incredible.  Feeling really good and strong and healthy.  Amazingly healthy.  Better than I have since my 20's!  Never thought that would be possible.
     
    This morning after eating my egg white vegetable omelette...I let the dogs outside and for a split second...I craved a cigarette.  haha...I just laughed and thought to myself..."yea right...like you would really screw all that hard work up"  
     
    There is no going back now...only forward.  You see...it is all relative.  Quitting smoking, eating healthy, getting exercise every single day at your maximal level.  Take care of your body..it's the only place you have to live.  When you stay in that frame of mind...smoking is way way way way down on the list of "wants".  
     
    Keep at it folks...it really REALLY does get better.
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/1747-its-all-relative/
     
  21. jillar

    The Grief Cycle

    By jillar,


    General
    Jenny
    Posted December 26, 2014 · IP  (edited)
     
     
     Quitting is a learning process rather than a single act. The majority of our participants agree that the process can be difficult, especially during the first few weeks. You have to get through a physical and mental recovery when you decide to quit smoking. The physical recovery is the most difficult during the first two to four weeks due to experiencing the “symptoms of recovery.”
    The mental recovery, however, may take several months or longer as you learn to reorganize your lifestyle without smoking. This may be even more difficult to handle than the physical recovery; however, this program is designed to help you with the physical and mental recovery process so you’re in the right place!
    The psychological recovery process is very similar to the grief cycle, how someone feels when a loved one dies. Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross did research on death and dying. She found that anytime we experience a major change in life, we grieve for the old in order to make room for the new. She also found that there are usually five stages to a person’s grieving process. Think about how these stages of grieving relates to quitting for you:
     
    Denial & Isolation
     
    Denial and isolation are the mind’s first way of protecting us from a sudden change or loss. People who lose a friend or family member say they feel numb. This is called a psychological defense mechanism. What this means is that although you know the importance of quitting, you may not want to believe it. The denial phase probably happened before you even found this program.
    Have you ever said any of these statements?
    I know I should quit, but I’m not sure I want to.
    Cigarettes don’t affect my health like they do others. I’m not huffing and puffing.
    I can quit anytime I want to.
    I’m not addicted.
    I’ll switch to a low-tar cigarette.
    Cigarettes haven’t been proven harmful.
    My parents both smoked and they’re fine.
    These are denial statements. What are some other denial statements that perhaps you have used in the past?
     
    Anger
     
    When we begin to accept a loss, we often feel anger. If you perceived comfort from smoking you are likely to feel angry about the change. You may be angry about the loss of your “friend.” You might be angry about many things, or everything.
    Some typical feelings or statements made during this phase include:
    Why me? I’m mad I started, I’m mad I quit. I’m mad cigarettes are harmful. I’m mad it’s so hard. I’m mad that things aren’t going my way.
    You might be angry with me, your Facilitator, and other participants on the Message Boards. You might find yourself reacting angrily to things that normally wouldn’t bother you.
    Your anger may be directed toward family members, friends, nonsmokers or coworkers. In fact, a lot of people avoid quitting because they feel so irritable during the recovery process.
    Remember that anger is part of the process. Don’t try to resist it. Accept it, safely vent it, and take some time to feel it. You may feel angry and testy. You don’t have to have a reason to feel that way, you just do. It will subside. Sometimes naming the feeling lowers the intensity of your anger.
     
    Bargaining
     
    This is the stage where participants feel tempted to postpone the inevitable. You might try to switch brands, smoke only at home or only at work. You might also try to make deals and empty promises. This is a risky phase because a lot of people slip or relapse at this point, so be careful!
    Some typical comments made during the bargaining phase are:
    I think I have the worst licked. If I just have one cigarette, I’ll get right back on track afterward and I won’t do it again.
    I’ll just smoke on vacation.
    I’ll just light your cigarette.
    I’ll quit as long as my weight stays down.
    I’ll try, but I’m not making any promises.
    Do these statements sound familiar? Everyone is tempted to bargain. Realizing that it is a natural part of the process of quitting sometimes helps to move past it. Laugh it off and have a heart-to-heart talk with your inner self. Make a strong commitment to be in control of the cigarette. If you give in to bargaining, the cigarette is once again in control. Say out loud, “Nothing or no one controls me.” Put that statement on a sticky note and put it in a place where you’ll be reminded to think about it and repeat it often.
     
    Depression
     
    When participants acknowledge and accept the loss of their “friend,” the cigarette, it’s natural to experience some sadness. This is especially true when no one else seems to know or understand this loss. People often experience this in one of two ways. They either feel a deep sense of sadness or a deep sense of deprivation.
    Some typical comments during the depression stage are:
    I feel so emotional. I cry all the time.
    I feel so deprived.
    Why can’t I have this one little pleasure?
    Life without cigarettes is awful.
    I feel lonely.
    This is the “ain’t it awful” stage. You may feel like you’ve lost your best friend. Don’t resist this stage or think it’s crazy to mourn the loss of a cigarette. Be as direct with this stage as we suggest with the anger stage. Accept it. Talk about it. Take some time to just feel sad. Then move on and focus on the benefits of what you’re doing.
     
    Acceptance
     
    A healthy person who has suffered a loss eventually accepts its reality and goes on living life. In this stage, you begin to realize that your former smoking lifestyle is over. You are finally resolving your sense of loss or grief. You can get on with living your new found, healthier lifestyle. A new and better life begins.
    Some typical comments during the acceptance phase are:
    I think I’m going to actually be successful. I still don’t like it a lot but I think it will stick.
    I’d still like to smoke but I choose not to.
    I am going to teach myself to like my new nonsmoking lifestyle. I’ll do it gradually and positively.
    I am living a smokefree life.
    I am an ex-smoker!
    The key to moving through the psychological recovery is your attitude toward quitting. Continue to look at these symptoms as part of the process. Move through them with a sense of challenge, expectation and excitement over what lies ahead for you. You will make discoveries about yourself. Reject the feeling that you have given something up. It’s quite the opposite. You gained something: your freedom and self-mastery. This is not an exercise in self-denial, but self-determination. You are giving a precious gift to yourself and to those around you.
     
    ~The American Lung Association
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/3953-the-grief-cycle/
     
  22. jillar
    REZ
    Posted April 23, 2014 · IP 
     
    I have tried many many times through out my smoking career to quit and have failed every single time except one!!!!! 
     
    This one is different, One of the reasons why I think is " I was just tired of quitting!"  :unsure: 
     
    Tired of having to look those same people in the eyes every time and say, ya i started again. 😞
     
    Tired of ignoring the side effects from smoking, the smell, the shortness of breath, ect! :wacko:
     
    Tired of of all the money and services i had to fork over on loosing bets! 😠
     
    Tired of looking and feeling like a looser to my friends and family! :blink:  
     
    Tired of trying to explain to others why i started smoking again! 😮
     
    Tired of rationalizing to myself why i started smoking again! :huh:
     
    Just got tired of trying to quit smoking!(50+times) :(
     
    Now i'm not tired anymore! :)
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/912-just-got-tired-of-quitting-again-and-again-and-again/
     
  23. jillar

    What Does It Take To Stay Quit?

    By jillar,


    General
    Tink
    Quit Date: 22/11/2013
    Posted April 22, 2014 · IP 
     
    The truth is I am still learning 
     
    I have had my triggers and my cravings
     
    my personal triumphs and my low points
     
    some days were a piece of cake and some were a battle of the mind
     
    I have made mistakes and allowed emotions and personal circumstances push me to the brink
     
    At times I have allowed the junkie mind to romance the idea that smoking will take away the situation I am in - in these times I have had to fight so hard my fingers bled, I scratched and clawed my way to hold on to my quit  
     
    The longer down the road I am the more I realized that this is not the case as life rolls on and you really do not need to smoke to get you through a bad day or situation you start to relax and not be so reactive and you can shut down the junkie mind without any blood shed
     
     
    Things I have learned to be true:
     
    Mind is definately over matter
    You do not need to smoke to help with anything a bad day is still a bad day 
    Hold on no matter what - whatever it takes
    We can make it as hard or as easy as we want it to be
    We can take complete control if we want it (in your own way)
    Fear makes things 10 times worse than it actually is or needs to be
     
    With all this learned knowledge I am looking forward to marching onto my 6 months
     
    All the information you need is right here on the board for your own successful quit wether you are 1 day or 5 months - just hold on tight to your quit
     
    Thanks to all who have walked my journey with me thus far and for the new members we are there for you! 
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/875-what-does-it-take-to-stay-quit/
     
     
  24. jillar

    Anyone ever use affirmations?

    By jillar,


    General
    leahcaR
    Posted April 7, 2014 
     
     
    I know a lot of people mention anxiety, nervousness, panic feelings or just not thinking you can do something or will fail at it (smoking)... I know a lot of people have this to say about life in general but also a lot of people use these words when talking about quitting smoking or thinking of quitting smoking.  I know I used to.  ALL the time.  each one of those words I associated to quitting whenever the thought of quitting popped in my mind.  or even thinking I may fail at it.  
     
    We talk ourselves out of so much in life.  So many good things.  not just quitting smoking.  But anything that might be good like opportunities or chances we could/should take but don't because we let negative thinking get in our way.  
     
    I havent really mentioned this to anyone here since I quit because I figured some might find it strange.  But the more I thought about it recently I realized it is not strange or new agey.... we have inner dialogue with ourselves ALL the time.  You don't even realize you do it because you do it so much.  And if you stopped and thought about it you would realize that most of it is negative.  "I can't stop smoking"  "I would fail" "it would be too hard"  "it makes me anxious just thinking about quitting" or even day to day things like "I cant get that report done in time"  "no one likes me"  "I could never succeed at that"  
     
    Think about it and be honest... you say those things all the time and hardly realize it.  You say something enough times to yourself you will believe it.  Constantly reinforcing the negative thinking/talking to yourself and you will believe it.  But no one thinks its strange that we do this. We don't find it strange that we do this because we are so used to it.  But someone says they use positive affirmations and everyone stops and stares at them secretly wondering what voodoo they are up to.  
     
    If it's okay to talk to yourself negatively it shouldn't be weird to talk to yourself positively.  And if we know anything we know the more times we say something to ourselves we start to believe it.  It's something to think about.  
     
    I have started using affirmations during random times in my life since I quit.  From when I feel like I might want a cigarette to other items related to work or peers.  And I have found them to really work.  Calm me down when I am on the brink of anxiety (and I also suffer from anxiety attacks as some others) and I have used them to calm down about the smoking desires when they used to creep up or if I think I might end up in a trigger situation.
     
    Repeating something to myself over and over for about five minutes or however long I feel necessary really helps me and gets me to start believing what I am saying.  At first of course you wont believe it but give it a chance.  After all,  repeatedly telling yourself you are going to fail at quitting makes you believe it doesn't it? So why should this be counted out?
     
    Here are some good ones for not smoking:
     
    I cancel smoking out of my life.
    I am smoke free and craving free from nicotine.
    I love fresh air and abhor cigarettes.
    I love myself more than I love smoking.  
    I honor and respect myself always.
     
    And then here are some for anxiety which we know comes along with those nicotine withdrawals and cravings.. and other situations in life:
     
    I transcend stress of any kind; I live in peace.
    All is well in my world and I am safe.
    I am at peace.  I am calm.  All is well.
    When this is over I will be glad that I did it.
    This may be hard now but it will become easier and easier.
    I let go of all the lies I tell myself. 
    There is a great reason this is unfolding before me.
     
     
    and this states how best to use affirmations and other info:
     
    Affirmations work most effectively when they are recited repeatedly and while giving your full focus to them. Not only should you say the words, but you should also do your best to feel the corresponding FEELING associated with the words. For example, if you say, "I feel so strong and empowered" you should actually take on the feelings of being strong and empowered. This does take practice if you are not used to controlling your emotional state, but it does get easier the more you practice it.
    Constant repetition many times a day is important also, because you are attempting to override existing beliefs in your subconscious mind. A belief is nothing more than a thought you have thought many, many times before, until eventually your subconscious mind takes it as "truth".
    For example, many people believe that smoking calms you down. Physiologically, smoking does not have relaxation benefits but many smokers have convinced themselves that it does. Because they believe this, they create the experience of feeling more relaxed after smoking. To override this belief, it's important to replace it with an opposing belief - like affirming that you feel calm and relaxed already, so there is no need to smoke in order to relax.
     
     
    You can do google searches for different kinds of affirmations.  There are TONS of websites with many listed by category.
     
    I thought this might help someone as it has helped me for quite a few months now to get rid of all the lies Ive told myself or continue to tell myself.  Enjoy.... or skip along elsewhere.  <3 :)
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/357-anyone-ever-use-affirmations/
     
  25. jillar

    Did The Penny Drop For You?

    By jillar,


    General
    Jonny5
    Posted April 24, 2014 · IP 
     
    I remember that I was going through the motions, telling myself that I wasn't giving up anything etc etc, just like Allen Carr told me.  and I remember thinking , ok yeh, I can buy into this, I can look at things from a more positive perspective.  I was prepared to follow the don't smoke instructions, but I did suspect Allen Carr was just trying to point out the obvious, and that made me feel a little patronised, but he was telling the truth, don't smoke and you are a non smoker.. well yeh of course.
     
    I had already decided that I was going to see this thing through, I wasn't going to give in this time.
     
    but the penny didn't drop until day 18 for me.  I remember clearly.  I was sat in this same chair that I am now.  I was in the foulest of moods, I was snapping at my wife for no reason, it was not like me at all.
     
    I stood up and said to her, " I'm sorry, I'm being an A hole to you."  she said "it's fine, you are going through a hard time quitting."
     
    I was embarrassed and didn't like the situation one bit.  And I said to her "I'm going to stop being a moaning b**tard right this minute, because I'm fed up of being that guy.
     
    and in an instant I wasn't that guy any more.  I did have control over me. and over how I was reacting to quitting smoking. I believe part of me had still felt I was giving up something before that moment.
     
    I was still experiencing craves quite badly on that day, but right after the conversation with my wife, I stood up and faced one of the craves.  and I actually said out loud, come on then, do your worst, give me your best shot, because I'm not going to smoke, so go ahead and punish me. kill me, or whatever it is that you've been threatening.
     
    of course nothing happened.  nothing does happen.  but the moment I realise that, is the moment that everything happened.  I was free.  my tormentor had no weaponry that could harm me ever again, it was all just fear.
     
    that was the day I started saying to myself and others, "what's the worst thing that could happen if you don't smoke?"
     
    and it was the day that I realised that Allen Carr was a genius, the simplicity of his method blew away all of the rubbish that I had accumulated over the years, the rubbish that stood in the way of my path to freedom.
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/952-did-the-penny-drop-for-you/
     

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QuitTrain®, a quit smoking support community, was created by former smokers who have a deep desire to help people quit smoking and to help keep those quits intact.  This place should be a safe haven to escape the daily grind and focus on protecting our quits.  We don't believe that there is a "one size fits all" approach when it comes to quitting smoking.  Each of us has our own unique set of circumstances which contributes to how we go about quitting and more importantly, how we keep our quits.

 

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