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Eaten a whole gallon but then I would

A very mad kangaroo. I guess we'll just have to

I started smoking when I was in my early teens and continued off and on for the next 28 years. During that period there were a couple of quits which lasted several years. My last major attempt at quitting smoking was in 2005 in which I was able to stay smoke-free for just under 6 years. In 2011, I made the decision to throw my quit away one evening when I was in a stressful situation and decided that smoking a cigarette would relax me. When I took my first puff that evening I felt like I was home. I wondered why I had even quit smoking at all in the first place. I thought I enjoyed it and even thought to myself that smoking was the greatest thing on earth. I had no regrets, only satisfaction. I didn’t know a single thing about nicotine addiction and ignorantly believed all the lies. I was a junkie. No, not some junkie out on the street begging and stealing to feed my addiction but rather a well dressed professional with a wife and three wonderful children. But make no mistake about it, I was a junkie just the same in need of a fix of nicotine to make everything better. This one cigarette woke up my nicotine addiction and I continued to smoke for ~2 years. In early December 2012 I went to see my Dr. about something unrelated and before I left I decided to mention that I wanted to quit smoking but enjoyed it too much. I told him that I could quit if I really wanted to, I just didn’t want to. I told him that I wanted to quit smoking for my family because they meant everything to me and I knew that the cigarettes would eventually catch up with me if I didn’t quit for good. In a nutshell, he told me I was full of shit. He told me that my family wasn’t the most important thing in my life, cigarettes were. He also went on to tell me that I was an addict to which I laughed and said “you’re telling me that I’m an addict because I’m smoking tobacco? It’s not like I’m shooting heroin or snorting cocaine.” He chuckled to himself and said “you’re the exact definition of an addict and the only reason why you’re not out on the streets stealing to feed your addiction is because cigarettes are legal.” I was mad as I sat there. How could this man say these things to me? I really do enjoy smoking. I sat and I listened. He gave me a prescription for Wellbutrin XL to help me quit smoking. I told him that I didn’t need any medication to quit smoking and he informed me that I had been smoking for nearly 28 years with several failed attempts at quitting and whatever I was doing was not working. After about 5 days the medication started to work to the point that after 2 or 3 pulls on a cigarette, I would get sick to my stomach and be on the verge of puking. Still, I lit one cigarette after another hoping that the nausea would not last, but it did and finally on December 17, 2012, I decided that I had enough and quit. This time I stayed nicotine free for 9 months and was sure I would never smoke again. I spent hour after hour, day after day reading everything I could about nicotine addiction. I watched the documentaries about the evil tobacco companies (which are on this website and very good I might add), joined a support group online and was sure I had all the answers to staying quit for good. But as things go, I relapsed again in September 2013 because of one reason; I still believed that the cigarette had something to offer me. After all of the reading and learning about nicotine addiction, none of it mattered because somewhere in the back of my mind I still believed in the cigarette. Thankfully, my relapse was short-lived and lasted only 1 week and 1 pack of cigarettes. What a shame it was to light the first of some 20 odd cigarettes after being smoke-free for ~9 months. Those 9 months prior that I speak of, although smoke-free, I was still believing somewhere in the back of my mind that cigarettes could offer me something because of my triumphant reunion with them nearly two years prior. It was all a big lie perpetuated by me. When I bought that pack in October I thought it would help. After reading Allen Carr’s book several times and being proactive for so many months, who was I kidding? The only thing I got from it was emptiness. It was at this moment and 19 cigarettes later that I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that cigarettes could not do a damn thing for me. It took a one week relapse for me to 100% believe that no matter what happens in life, no matter how crappy I feel, cigarettes will not do anything. With each and every cigarette I analyzed how I felt. From the very first pull on that cigarette I was ultra aware of how I was feeling. I remembered Allen Carr. I remembered the lies. I remembered all the former smokers in the support group. I recalled all I had read about this addiction. I was still waiting for the enjoyment because I thought it really existed. Not only did I not get one bit of enjoyment from any of it, but I also found out the hard way that there isn’t a single thing enjoyable about smoking. It wasn’t until I truly understood that I got nothing from smoking that I willingly put the cigarettes down without any medication and without a second thought. However, close to the end of that week of smoking I could feel the addiction coming on strong. Had I not chosen to quit smoking on October 7th, 2013, I feel that I would have fallen back into a full blown nicotine addiction and smoking 30-40 cigarettes per day as that was my usual routine. I was probably just a few cigarettes away from this happening and it was scary to relive those feelings of being physically and mentally addicted to smoking constantly needing to feed the throngs of nicotine withdrawal. This is not a place that I ever want to revisit. If you think that you enjoy smoking or that is somehow relaxes you, then you still think that smoking cigarettes can still offer you something of benefit. This is romanticizing the cigarette, also known as junkie thinking, whether you want to believe it or not. Leaving this door open is dangerous because something will happen along the way that will allow the addiction to creep in and when you least expect it, you’ve relapsed. If you think that you enjoyed anything about smoking it means that you’re depriving yourself or giving up something that you enjoy when you quit smoking. The worst case scenario is a relapse and the next worse thing is a constant battle. Someone once used drugs and sex was as an analogy to quitting smoking. This is false and cannot be compared because sex and drugs such as heroin, are enjoyable the first time they are tried. The first time many heroin users shoot up they loved it. How many of us loved our first cigarette? None. Smoking is not enjoyable and so long as you believe that it is or was, you’re only making staying quit much harder than it needs to be. Actually, quitting smoking can be enjoyable if you’re able to focus on your body and how it’s repairing itself. Your lungs. Your skin. Your teeth. The newly learned discipline that you’ve used because you never thought you could quit smoking, much less even wanted to quit. Lastly, a relapse doesn’t happen without first romancing or allowing junkie thinking to creep in. No situation, as bad as it may be, will force you to smoke unless you’re still believing that you can get something from the cigarette. Quitting smoking takes no action, only non-action. Don’t ever take another puff. Remember “N.O.P.E.” each and every day and make it a priority over life and all of it’s ups and downs. Never smoke again. Not one puff, ever (N.O.P.E.). Copied from MarylandQuitters About Me

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YES you will, I PROMISE! The longer you are quit the more triggers you've gone past so if craves do come up here and there they are nothing more than a fleeting thought that goes as quickly ad it came on. That is as long as you don't give it any head space. My favorite aunt died in February and my awesome uncle on my mom's side died a couple weeks ago and never did a thought of smoking enter my mind. You guys will get there too but it takes time. At least a year, thus the one year commitment pinned to the top of the forum

It shows me how strong YOU are brioski we just reminded you of it Have a great night and be proud of yourself!!! Xoxo

@Brioski, just the fact that you posted tells you that you want to save your quit! This first holiday will be the toughest because you haven't dealt with one smoke free yet but once you're past it it will get easier. Use your tools, use your BAC, suck on sweets. Anything you need to do to keep that awesome quit!

Call the customer service number of Advantage to see if that would work on them or we could just

I swear I'm losing my mind! I've screwed up more celebrations than I've gotten right this year lol. Sorry about that mac!

4. As a doorstop

she trapped herself in it somehow. To make matters worse

1. put one under a wobble table leg

Congratulations @Mac#23 on your 2nd year quit! Your support and the fun you bring to our social forums is so AWESOME. I hope you have a great day celebrating you!

Congratulations @overcome on another month down! You're doing great and I hope you have a great day and do something special for yourself

Repost by Sherry Posted 07 April 2009 - 11:31 PM Dear ___________, I am about to try and change my life for the better. I have quit smoking. I just wanted to write this letter to you so you know what to expect for the next couple of weeks, since the process of withdrawal can be very challenging for me, and for those around me. (Most people do not realize it, but nicotine addiction is literally one of the hardest drugs to kick, even harder than heroin). Everyone reacts to the withdrawal symptoms differently, but in general, during the first two weeks (Hell Week and Heck Week), I will most likely not be my normal self. My attention will literally be taken up with fighting the physical and mental urges to smoke. I may cry, I may yell, I may ignore you. Worst of all, I may say hurtful things to you, but I want you to know that this is the nicotine talking, not my heart. I WILL apologize afterwards, once the nicotine has left my body and my mind has cleared, but for the moment, please, PLEASE remember that I care about you, and let it roll off your back. You need to know that when a smoker quits, the body and the mind will try almost anything to trick the user into taking another puff. I may rationalize that "now is not a good time" I may talk about feeling a sense of emptiness and loss. My body may develop aches and pains. I may not be able to sleep. I may act like the pain I am experiencing. But be aware that I am doing this for ME, not for you. In this one important way, I have to be selfish, so that I cannot give the nicotine a reason to put the blame on anyone else. Here are 10 things you CAN do to help: • Be there when I need a hug, but don't be hurt when I push you away. • If I tell you to leave me alone, give me space, but don't go too far...I need to know you are near no matter what the nicotine says. • Don't try to argue with me when I start to rationalize...silence is a more powerful message. • Avoid the topic of cigarettes (because I'm trying to get them off my mind), unless I bring it up first. • Do the best you can to act as if everything is normal. The more "normal" you act, the faster I will get there. • Consciously try to avoid letting me get into stressful situations...if something stressful can be put off for a couple of weeks, please try to do so. If not, please try to cushion me. • Just keep telling me it will get better and that this effort is worth it. • Tell me I am strong. Tell me you are proud of me. But also, tell me you will be there no matter what I say or do. I just wanted to prepare you because the first two weeks are usually the worst, but be aware that it doesn't suddenly get better...it will be a gradual process. Also, please be aware that while I am doing this quit for me, you and those around me will benefit as well. I will be free from the shackles of needing to know where the closest cigarette store is. I will be free of the smell. I will be free of an early death. And I will be free to spend more quality time with those I love. Thank you in advance for being strong enough to care about me, and help me through this. Love, Me Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/12217-add-this-to-your-toolboxa-Letter-to-loved-ones/

I'm here!

Keep reminding yourself Darcy that you're feeling like that because of SMOKING and NOT because of quittting. And give yourself a break! It's ok to feel like that, it won't be forever and the weight gain is temporary too. What you're doing is far more important than a few extra pounds. You are doing AWESOME so don't forget it!!!

-9

Helping others realize it isn't as hard as we have it in our heads it will be to quit puts a smile on my face.

Were jumping neighborhood fences in search of fruit. My dog was so smart she

-7

-3

Great update @Brioski, I'm glad this week is better for you and I LOVE that you're able to take nice deep breaths Hopefully this is the beginning of everyday being a good one but you're still early in your quit so don't be surprised if you get some bad days still. There's a lot of triggers to get past still but you've got the tools and support to do it As far as weather goes we're having a rainy day! Yay!!! Probably our last one of the season and clearing tomorrow with lots of sunshine to come