jillar

@LeapOfFaith, its different for everyone. I had a hard first year but when I look back at it now it really wasn't as bad as I had myself hyped up for it to be. I would say the first month is the worst and we recommend sticking around your support for the whole first year of your quit so we can help support you if you need us to.

Cristóbal Quit Date: 14 October 2012 Posted on QSMB Dec 17 2013 by JWG When my son was young he would walk to the end of the drive to wait for the school bus. I would stand at the bay window off the side nook of our home where I could look down the drive and watch until he safely got on board. Sounding like a good father this may be. But in actuality I found I enjoyed the heat off the glass and watching the life outdoors from the birds to the ever changing leaves of the seasons. Here I would smoke my morning cigarette. It wasn’t long I had moved a small bench near the window so I could sit and be a bit more comfortable And take in a bit more of my surroundings. I bought a nice brass ashtry on a stand to place next to my bench and would bring in my newspaper into the nook ., By the following year I came to realize It wasn’t much of a bench or that comfortable, So I decided to have some work done to the room and to the window I had a much better built in bench placed into the wall almost making me like a cat sitting on a lagre comfy ledge over looking the world , searching for his pray, like that fat robin I watch in the mornings searching out a nice fat worm. On day while peering down the drive , watching , waiting for my son to board the bus, I noticed a shadowy figure standing off to his side. I would not say it a ghost or man, just an odd shadowy figure,, quite perplex this left me , almost to the point of quizzy, what was this figure ,, what was it doing out there ? For the next few mornings to weeks perhaps months I would watch with an unsettling intent ,, always wondering , what was this figure, a shadow from a limb or tree ? In the afternoons if I were to walk to the end of the drive never was there any evidence of such a figure, questioning my son , was always the same “ your crazy” he would Say. But No I was not crazy ,, I saw what I saw and what I saw was a real as you and me. As the years past , I began to come to terms with the figure at the end of the drive , I knew well whatever it was meant my son no harm. But still each day I found myself looking out the window.. Years would pass , no longer did my son need a protective eye to watch him get on to the bus. But still each morning I went to the window for my morning coffee , cigarette and newspaper. Always peering down the drive slowly it was becoming obvious the figure had turned its sights to me,, no longer was I the watcher , but now the watchy. And with this the hair on the back of my neck stood up, Schools years would come and go, Jason would be moving in the fall to attend collage and I found my self remolding more and more I had moved my study down into nook , moved a side wall expanding the nook itself allowing me more room, I worked from home and really found with these accommodations I was just fine, plus saving me time from going up and down the stairs so much. At once this shadowy figure a bit of amusement now each day an every growingly obsession, a looming haunt always in the back of my mind. Never was it different from one day to the next , but over the years it was easy to see this was a man in grim black suit complete with over coat and hat. For years I asked visitors that would stop by , “what they thought of the man at the end of my drive ?” always to be givng the same response “ Still on that kick” so in time I stoped asking , I came to except it was only myself that could see him. But as a say , what I saw , I saw , and he was real. As real as you or I. By the second year Jason had moved out , my work had slowed down. To save some money on heating and other bills I pretty much moved myself completely into the nook , which now was more like a tiny apt. I had a small bed and fridge a microwave, my coffee pot . Sure I would still make it threw the maze the rest of the down stairs had become to make it into the kitchen if need be. But for the most part I was fine in my cubby. With less work these days I found myself spending more on my bench smoking my cigarettes watching my mystery man in black. With the difference being now slowly I could see he was approaching the house. Not each day could I notice, but slowly, ever so slowly he was making his way down the drive. Until the morning I woke to look out the window and there he stood straight across the drive. I knew then , right then.. Who had come calling ! His eyes were hallow as if none were there at all. His face a slunken gray like dead skin draped across a skelton . No longer was his black suit of fine linen now a grab more like canvas with a hood from the top of his head dragging past his feet. No more then I peered into his sullun face, he turned abruptly proceeding down the drive. I knew with out a doubt . His next stop was the front door. Dizzzy, breathless, my knees week ,, I stammered back, the back of my knees hit a recliner I had set up. nto which I fell. Sitting there now lost reality was gone ,, where was I ? what was going on ? what had I done ? I reached for a cigarette to comfort me , to guide me, to give me answers. And there I sat and smoked . Looking down on to my cracked and dried skin, stained yellow from years of tar and nicotine. I saw all the answers I was looking for. With my own two hands I molded my own death , from once only a shadowy figure at the end of my drive to a creature from the underworld. I forged my own end, one cigarette at a time. One day after another ,one year after another, all the while knowing death was monitoring my every move. Why did I not stop? I could have quit ,millions do it every day. Why did I not run from this house? was I blind, a fool ? Or an addict appeasing myself, to avoid the discomforts of nicotine withdrawal… *rasp*rasp*rasp* The cold steal of his scythe rattles the front glass… In Memory of JWG - Reposted by Cristóbal JWG Died of Lung Cancer shortly before his 4 Year Anniversary, 6 weeks after his diagnosis. Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/10729-jwg-post-knock-knock-dec-17-2013/

No, it won't be the same. You will shift from a smoker who has cutdown to a quitter on NRT. A completely different mindset. There's no way you can think about being an actual quitter right now because you're too busy thinking about that next cigarette.

Welcome @Sandi149, I agree to what Johnny and Doreen have said. The cravings will actually get better in time if you have no cigs. The way you're going about it now will leave you in a constant state of craving that won't end. Plus, we all know that 1-2 soon turns into 3-4, 5-6, etc.

Only you know the answer to that but we'll be here when you do to support you

Congratulations @Brioski on your third month quit! I love watching you get stronger as your quit progresses all while offering awesome support to all. I hope you treat yourself special today because you've earned it!

^^I love that movie lol^^ No I can't do Jersey. I do Real Housewives of Beverly Hills though. And the 90 day finance shows.

WHAT?! Ok so the only thing I found about that was rumors of her being pregnant with James kid. But dang, that'd be brutal and juicy tv lol. Tom's an idiot (Sandoval) he totally thinks he's the "brand" of the two Toms but I think if it wasn't for Swartz Tom wouldn't have a "brand".....

It was a great show last night lol. I've never liked Tom Sandoval and agree that he's a snake. I felt so bad for Raquel in past seasons for how "the mean girls" treated her so was really disappointed that she could do that to a friend of hers.

I did lol

Bump

@Brioski, there's something about the three's that make the nicodemon try to suck us back in. There's also No Man's Land which usually hits around three months. We have a thread about it and I also featured it as one of my Pick Of the Week blogs. I'll bump the thread for you. Knowing its normal should help @Slow progress and @DenaliBlues, I had the same feelings as you guys. My quit sucked and there's no way I want to go through that again!

You are doing AWESOME!!! And look at all that money saved!

-14

-12

What a great update @Slow progress Its awesome when those good days finally come isn't it?! You got this girl!!!

-8

Sunnyside Quit Date: 02/01/22 Posted July 6, 2016 I found this article on another website and thought it may help someone here. By Terry Martin "I quit smoking seven months ago. I do feel better, and I don't struggle all of the time now, but I still have days when I find myself missing my cigarettes. I sometimes wish I could have just one now and then. At times, the urge to smoke is so intense. I wonder if I'll ever be free of this habit? Will I miss smoking forever?" Think for a moment of your life as a tightly woven piece of fabric. Each thread represents your life events and experiences, and running alongside the many "life" threads are threads of a finer gauge. They are so fine in fact, they're impossible to see with the naked eye. Those threads are your smoking habit, and they've become so thoroughly interwoven in the fabric of your life, you find you can't do anything without thinking about how smoking will fit into it. The associations that we build up over time between the activities in our lives and smoking are closely knit. Once you quit smoking, the job becomes one of unraveling those smoking threads, or associations, one by one. How does that happen? And how long does it take? Recovery from nicotine addiction is a process of gradual release over time. Practice Makes Perfect Every smoke-free day you complete is teaching you how to live your life without cigarettes. Bit by bit, you're reprogramming your responses to the daily events that trigger the urge to smoke. The more practice you get, the less cravings will plague you. Over the course of your first smoke-free year, you'll encounter and have a chance to clear most of the events and situations in your daily life that you associate with smoking. Seasonal Smoking Triggers Some smoking triggers are seasonal in nature and can create strong smoking urges months into your quit program. For instance, if you quit smoking during the winter and you're an avid gardener, you could find yourself craving a smoke break the first time you're out digging in the dirt the following spring. Thoughts of smoking related to the seasons may hit you with an intensity you haven't felt in months. Don't worry. Once you make your way through the trigger smoke-free, it will let go and you can move on. The first year is all about firsts...experiencing the many daily events in your life smoke free for the first time. And it's all about practice. You built your smoking habit through years of practice. Now, build the nonsmoking you the same way. Practice is a necessary part of recovery from nicotine addiction, so try to relax and let time help you. The more of it you put between yourself and that last cigarette you smoked, the stronger you'll become. Work on Your Attitude There's another step in finding permanent freedom from nicotine addiction that is just as important as practice and time. It involves your attitude. I'm sure you've heard about people who still struggle years and years after quitting. They're the ones who say they "still miss smoking" 20 years down the road. That's a frightening thing to hear, but don't let it throw you. The reason they are in that position has to do with the fact that they never did the work to change what cigarettes meant to them. Along with using patience and time to help you reprogram your associations with smoking, you must also alter the way you think about your cigarettes. The path to permanent freedom has to do with changing the relationship you have to smoking, and the way to make that mental shift is through education. As the saying goes... Knowledge is Power... ...and it's the truth when it comes to recovering from nicotine addiction. Educate yourself by reading everything you can find about how tobacco harms us from head to toe. It will open your eyes, but more importantly, it will help you start to change the meaning that cigarettes have for you. Once you do that, the mental chains of this addiction will begin to break down for good. You'll truly be free, and believe me, it's a great place to be. Be patient with yourself and allow for as much time as you need to heal from this addiction. There is no set formula for recovery; we're all unique in how we move through the process. Read about nicotine addiction and do the work to change the way you perceive cigarettes. They are instruments of death. They deserve nothing more than your disdain. Don't look at quitting tobacco as a sacrifice. You're not giving up anything of value. Your quit program is a gift. Change your attitude and you'll find your freedom. Cessation is doable, and your precious life is worth the work it takes to achieve. If You Want to Change Your Life, Change Your Mind. Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/7257-will-i-always-miss-smoking/

Love this jane! Happy Anniversary again

What a great update @Brioski, I'm so glad to see you having these good days now. Such a change from when you first started this thread Congratulations on the in ground pool too. Your savings from quitting will probably more than cover the monthly electricity costs to run it

@Slow progress, you're spot on about your hubby. He's not only losing his smoking buddy but seeing that quitting is way more possible than we were led to believe. Just wait until he sees all that extra money in your bank account, it may just change his mind. By the looks of your ticker you'll have saved about $700.00 in just one month! So awesome

-4

4. Hot wire a car

@Slow progress, @Doreensfree is right, give yourself a break and try to keep reminding yourself that these crappy days won't last forever as long as you go through them. Four days, while awesome, is such a small amount of time when you consider how long you smoked. That's a lot of triggers to get through. Luckily as you progress through your quit the triggers get easier to get past so just keep hanging in there Because it will happen to you too ☺ Btw, very nice ticker ☺