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jillar

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  1. jillar
    In honor of Quit Train's anniversary the first post written by our founder MarylandQuitter......
     
    MarylandQuitter
    Administrators
    Quit Date: 10/07/2013
     
    Posted March 28, 2014 
     
    Remove the desire to smoke and you will never smoke again.  Practice on removing the desire to smoke until you firmly believe that you get nothing from it.  Until then, use your smoking addiction to help you quit smoking.  That’s right, you read correctly.  You, me and millions more rationalized smoking even though we knew the consequences.  Use those same veteran rationalization skills to rationalize quitting smoking.  Think about that for a minute.  If we could rationalize smoking knowing full well the damaging effects it had on our health, why can’t we rationalize quitting smoking knowing full well the health benefits of quitting?
     
    Based from my experience, the most important attribute to a successful quit, which is a non burdensome quit, is to remove the desire to smoke by understanding and believing that the cigarette has nothing to offer.  This and only this will allow for a lifetime of freedom and never leave you feeling like you’re giving something up or missing out by living life as a non-smoker.
     
    So many have relapsed and so many more are too afraid to quit smoking because of all the horror stories they’ve heard about nicotine withdrawal when you quit.  That horror only exists in our minds, if we let it.  Of course we’ll have mild withdrawal and mental triggers that may cause cravings, but they’re far from horrific and certainly nothing more than we’ve already experienced.
     
    Quitting smoking is not hard.  In fact, the whole process is quite enjoyable if we only focus on the benefits of being a non-smoker.  There is no need to focus on anything else because we’re not giving anything up.   We’re not missing out.  The cravings come and go and soon will be gone forever.  Even while we were smoking, the unwavering loyalty of our body was trying to heal itself while we kept poisoning it.  It never gave up on us despite that we were putting things in our mouths and setting them on fire to feed our addiction.  Once we quit smoking, our bodies take a huge sigh of relief and work overtime to make up for lost time and starts healing and repairing the damage that we caused it.
     
    The easy part for some is the initial quit while for others it’s staying quit.  Ask 10 people and the answers will vary.  The reality is that everyone can quit smoking and stay that way.  If you’re finding it difficult to stay quit it’s because you think the cigarette still has something to offer you.  This is why I relapsed.  This is why others’ invariably relapse.
     
    Never give up and just continue to remove the desire to smoke by knowing with every ounce of who you are that the cigarette offers you nothing.  It can’t do a thing for you.  It’s impossible that it can relieve stress, doesn’t taste good and certainly is no reward.  Some get this right away.  Others, like myself, it took a little longer.  But now that I know this, the desire to smoke has been successfully removed and although I still get a trigger here and there (just part of being a nicotine addict), I know it won’t do a damn thing for me.  You can get there too.  Never, ever stop striving to get there.  Never smoke again. Not one puff, ever (N.O.P.E.).
     
     
  2. jillar

    Why do we "Pay it Forward"?

    By jillar,


    General
    soul
    Quit Date: 11.29.09
     
    Posted April 8, 2014 
     
    I have taken the liberty to borrow a writing from a great man and modify it (may he forgive me) to fit the principle of "Paying it Forward" in the smoking cessation world......................
     
    Here below is what I stand for, in all my affairs.............
     
    "I stand by the door"
     
     
    I neither go too far in, nor stay too far out.
    The door is among the most important doors in the world -
    It is the door through which men walk when they find Freedom.
    There is no use my going way inside and staying there,
    When so many are still outside and they, as much as I,
    Crave to know where the door is.
    And all that so many ever find
    Is only the wall where the door ought to be.
    They creep along the wall like blind men,
    With outstretched, groping hands,
    Feeling for a door, knowing there must be a door,
    Yet they never find it.
    So I stand by the door.
     
    The most tremendous thing in the world
    Is for men to find that door - the door to Freedom.
    The most important thing that any man can do
    Is to take hold of one of those blind, groping hands
    And put it on the latch - the latch that only clicks
    And opens to the man's own touch.
     
    Men die outside the door, as starving beggars die
    On cold nights in cruel cities in the dead of winter.
    Die for want of what is within their grasp.
    They live on the other side of it - live because they have not found it.
     
    Nothing else matters compared to helping them find it,
    And open it, and walk in,
    So I stand by the door.
     
    Go in; go all the way in -
    Go way down into the cavernous cellars,
    And way up into the spacious attics.
    It is a vast, roomy house, this house of Freedom.
    Go into the deepest of hidden casements,
    Of withdrawal, of silence, of sainthood.
    Some must inhabit those inner rooms
    And know the depths and heights of Freedom,
    And call outside to the rest of us how wonderful it is.
    Sometimes I take a deeper look in.
    Sometimes venture in a little farther,
    But my place seems closer to the opening.
    So I stand by the door.
     
    There is another reason why I stand there.
    Somebody must be watching for the frightened
    Who seek to sneak out just where they came in,
    To tell them how much better it is inside.
    The people too far in do not see how near these are
    To leaving - preoccupied with the wonder of it all.
    Somebody must watch for those who have entered the door
    But would like to run away. So for them too,
    I stand by the door.
     
    I admire the people who go way in.
    But I wish they would not forget how it was
    Before they got in. Then they would be able to help
    The people who have not yet even found the door.
    Or the people who want to run away again .
    You can go in too deeply and stay in too long
    And forget the people outside the door.
    As for me, I shall take my old accustomed place.................
     
    Where? Outside the door -
    Thousands of them. Millions of them.
    But - more important for me -
    One of them, two of them, ten of them.
    Whose hands I am intended to put on the latch.
    So I shall stand by the door and wait
    For those who seek it.
     
    'I had rather be a door-keeper
    So I stand by the door.
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/378-why-do-we-pay-it-forward/
     
  3. jillar

    Keep the promise you make to yourself

    By jillar,


    General
    JimHannoonen
    Quit Date: Feb. 9 2017
     
    Posted June 9, 2017 
     
    You've made a choice to not smoke anymore and that's awesome, but remember this.

    No matter what you do, no matter how many patches you put on your body, how many pills you take or wads of nicotine gum you shove in your mouth, none of these things are going to be a cigarette and none are going to make you feel ok. You're gong to go through some gnarly sh*t over the next few months and you know what? That's ok.

    You're going to be walking down a dark and dismal road for a while and you're going to be scared and angry. You're going to feel alone and miserable. This is going to really, really suck for you at some point. Anyone here can tell you that. This may be one of the hardest things you've ever done and you're likely going to question why you're putting yourself through it.

    But with all that said, you will deal with the cravings. You'll take those deep, cleansing breaths and get past them, just like so many others here have. You'll have some of the worst days you've ever had. But you'll work through them.
    You're going to find that you're a lot stronger than you thought you were. That you're capable of dealing with a lot more than you thought possible

    You'll post insane rants that seem like they don't make any sense to anyone, but they will. They'll make sense to everyone here that reads them, because we've all been there.

    Then you'll have a good day. And then another. Before you know it, most of your days are good and you find you're not thinking about smoking 24/7.  You take a deep breath and notice just how much deeper it is compared to before.

    Sure, every once in a while, you may have a bad day, but just like when you started this journey, you'll take your deep, cleansing breaths and work your way through it and you'll smile when you think about all the friends you've made on this forum and the relationships you know are going to be with you for a long, long time.

    You'll do all these things because that day you decided you weren't going to smoke anymore, you make a promise to yourself and you must keep that promise no matter what.
     
    Link to original post:https://www.quittrain.com/topic/8658-my-little-trick/
     
  4. jillar

    Junkie Thinking

    By jillar,


    General
    MarylandQuitter
    Quit Date: 10/07/2013
     
    Posted April 2, 2014 · 
     
    Excuses to smoke
    JUNKIE THINKING: “One Puff won’t hurt”
    RESPONSE: “One puff will always hurt me, and it always will because I’m not a social smoker. One puff and I’ll be smoking compulsively again.”
     
    JUNKIE THINKING: “I only want one.”
    RESPONSE: “I have never wanted only one. In fact, I want 20-30 a day every day. I want them all.”
     
    JUNKIE THINKING: “I’ll just be a social smoker.”
    RESPONSE: “I’m a chronic, compulsive smoker, and once I smoke one I’ll quickly be thinking about the next one. Social smokers can take it or leave it. That’s not me.”
     
    JUNKIE THINKING: “I’m doing so well, one won’t hurt me now.”
    RESPONSE: “The only reason I’m doing so well is because I haven’t taken the first one. Yet once I do, I won’t be doing well anymore. I’ll be smoking again.”
     
    JUNKIE THINKING: “I’ll just stop again.”
    RESPONSE: “Sounds easy, but who am I trying to kid? Look how long it too me to stop this time. And once I start, how long will it take before I get sick enough to face withdrawal again? In fact, when I’m back in the grip of compulsion, what guarantee do I have that I’ll ever be able to stop again?”
     
    JUNKIE THINKING: “If I slip, I’ll keep trying.”
    RESPONSE: “If I think I can get away with one little “slip” now I’ll think I can get away with another little “slip” later on.”
     
    JUNKIE THINKING: “I need one to get me through this withdrawal.”
    RESPONSE: “Smoking will not get me through the discomfort of not smoking. I will only get me back to smoking. One puff stops the process of withdrawal and I’ll have to go through it all over again.”
     
    JUNKIE THINKING: “I miss smoking right now.”
    RESPONSE: “Of course I miss something I’ve been doing every day for most of my life. Bud do I miss the chest pain right now? Do I miss the worry, the embarrassment? I’d rather be an ex-smoker with an occasional desire to smoke, than a smoker with a constant desire to stop doing it.”
     
    JUNKIE THINKING: “I really need to smoke now, I’m so upset.”
    RESPONSE: “Smoking is not going to fix anything. I’ll still be upset, I’ll just be an upset smoker. I never have to have a cigarette. Smoking is not a need; it’s a want. Once the crisis is over, I’ll be relieved and grateful I’m still not smoking.”
     
    JUNKIE THINKING: “I don’t care.”
    RESPONSE: “What is it exactly that I think that I don’t care about? Can I truthfully say I don’t care about chest pain? I don’t care about gagging in the morning? I don’t care about lung cancer? No, I care about these things very much. That’s why I stopped smoking in the first place.”
     
    JUNKIE THINKING: “What difference does it make, anyway?”
    RESPONSE: “It makes a difference in the way I breathe, the way my heart beats, the way I feel about myself. It makes a tremendous difference in every aspect of my physical and emotional health.”
    http://www.quitsmokinghelp.ca/mustread/junkiethinking.html
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/31-junkie-thinking/?do=findComment&comment=123
     
  5. jillar

    More Thoughts on Triggers

    By jillar,


    General
    d2e8b8 3579
    Quit Date: Oct 17, 2016
     
    Posted December 15 
     
    I recall a post explaining triggers which I'll try to paraphrase in case it helps someone as much as it helped me.
     
    There are 3 kinds of triggers - 
     
    - Daily triggers.  These happen daily e.g. coffee, lunch, in the car driving to work, returning from work, etc.  When we quit smoking, these are the triggers that we tackle first and overcome within the first few days.  Having overcome these, we start to feel confident ...not realizing there are other triggers waiting to trip us.
     
    - Occasional triggers.  As the name suggests, they happen occasionally e.g. vacation - drive, flight, visiting family or friends, social activities like bar, dance etc.  Generally, these are events that happen a few times a year but not daily.  These are dangerous because they surprise us just as we're feeling confident. If we're not prepared, we can lose the quit to these occasional triggers even after staying quit 3,4 or 6 months.
     
    - Life event triggers.  These only happen a few times in our lives e.g. losing a job or a loved one or a break up.  Again, smoking doesn't help with anything but the trigger catches us at a moment when we are vulnerable and may not be acting rationally and can result in losing a quit.
     
    For me, it helped to understand the concept ahead of time - that after overcoming the initial daily triggers, there will come other triggers and they will tend to catch you by surprise and unprepared.  A bit of thinking and preparing ahead of time helped so that when the time came, it was possible to fight and kill the trigger.  
     
    It's all in the head after all and I had my own game that I played in the head to kill triggers.  I visualized hitting the trigger with a hammer and shouting "Die trigger die".  A couple of times I may have shouted aloud getting a few strange stares ... but it worked ... and that's all that matters.
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/blogs/entry/1105-thoughts-on-triggers/
     
  6. jillar
    DenaliBlues
    Quit Date: 2/10/2022
     
    Posted January 21 
     
    Reading and re-reading is a great strategy in the early hours and days of your quit. I did that, too. What else will you do to support and distract yourself? You might try making a list of things you can do instead of smoking when the cravings strike. I know it sounds corny to make a list, but it helps to be prepared (things to do with your hands, things to do with your mouth, mindless tasks, exercise snacks, physical comforts). Otherwise, Addict Mind will go blank and tell you that nothing but smoking will suffice.  
     
    When things get crunchy, remember...
     
    Cravings really suck, but they will pass. A craving is a commercial, not a command. The feeling of "Other people can quit but I cannot" is a withdrawal symptom, NOT an accurate assessment of your ability. During the early stages of withdrawal, our addicted brains tell us all kinds of crazy s--t that isn't true. During that time, trust what you read here on the board, don't trust Addict Mind. It's not your friend.   
    Keep us posted - let us know what's on your list and how you're feeling!
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/21358-quit-thoughts/
     
  7. jillar

    Quitters Remorse

    By jillar,


    General
    Jenny
    Quit Date: 5/24/2012
     
    Overcoming Your Quitter’s Remorse.
    september 20, 2012 by      cameron kellett 
     
     
    If you have ever attempted to quit smoking, there is a good chance you’re familiar with the notion of quitter’s remorse. You may recognize it as the occasional feeling of regret we have over making the decision to quit smoking and cause ourselves to suffer the healing process.
     
    It is a feeling that leads us to envy those care free smokers, happily feeding their addiction without a worry in the world.
    The remorse will often come after recalling what it was like to NOT bear the struggle that comes with quitting smoking. It is a feeling that leads us to envy those care free smokers, happily feeding their addiction without a worry in the world and no commitment to live up to.
    Quitter’s remorse, I would say, is one of the biggest influences for relapse outside of the chemical dependency to nicotine.
    Why?
     
    Because the junkie brain feeds off it. It uses our fear and our doubt against us. If unrecognized, quitter’s remorse can lead a quitter to forget just how utterly crap being an addict actually was.
     
    So, how do we overcome it?
     
    The first step is having a greater awareness. Being able to recognise your junkie brain and its remorse over quitting, enables you to actively fight against it, and in turn, overpower it. If you are mentally prepared when the junkie brain strikes, you can quickly rationalise your way to a different perspective.
    Consider using Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to help achieve this.
     
    Another angle of attack is to build your quit smoking campaign around a genuine desire to live a life free from nicotine addiction; rather than the avoidance of long term health consequences.
     
    Learn as much as you can about your addiction! Once you understand it you can believe with confidence, all those feelings of remorse will quickly pass and eventually disappear. You will come to understand those feelings of loss or nagging regrets are completely influenced by the addiction and not your rational self.
     
    In time you will become sympathetic toward smokers, rather than envious. You will see the addict before you see the smoker.
    It also pays to remind yourself that smokers are almost always envious of ex smokers. Smokers often feel helplessly trapped by their addiction and hold little hope of quitting. I remember thinking that way as an addict.
     
    At the end of the day, if you are in the middle of a quit campaign and find yourself feeling remorseful, ask yourself, which do you want to be;
    hopeful or hopeless.
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/9650-quitters-remorse/
     
     
  8. jillar

    HALT

    By jillar,


    General
    babs609
    Quit Date: 07/13/2012
     
    Posted March 29, 2014 
     
    Quitting tobacco is a process. It doesn't happen overnight, but compared to the amount of time most of us spent smoking, recovery from nicotine addiction is relatively short.
    Years of smoking taught us to react to literally everything by lighting a cigarette. When we were happy, we'd celebrate by lighting up. When we got angry, smoking would calm us down, or so we thought. Tired? Smoke a cigarette to stay awake. Hungry? Feed yourself a smoke. This list goes on and on.

    Between the physical addiction to nicotine and the mental associations that tie what seems like all of our activities to cigarettes, it can feel as though we're chained to the habit with links of steel.

    Successful recovery includes learning how to hear the message behind the urge to smoke and respond with more appropriate choices, such as a nap or a meal, for instance.

    Have patience with yourself. This skill takes some time to hone, but you'll get better at it. Eventually, cigarettes will fade as a fix for physical and emotional needs, and you'll make choices that actually address the signal your body is sending without thinking twice about it.

    When the Urge to Smoke Hits, Think H.A.L.T.

    H.A.L.T. (Hungry,Angry,Lonely,Tired) is a powerful checklist to help you decode the urges to smoke that you experience. Nine times out of ten, a craving can be traced to one of these four things:

    Hungry

    Have a snack or a meal. If you are hungry, food is the answer, not a cigarette. If you're concerned about weight gain, try drinking water before you eat a snack to help control the amount you eat. Keep healthy snacks on hand. Celery sticks, raw baby carrots and frozen grapes make good low calorie snacks.

    Normal weight gain due to quitting smoking is 5-8 pounds. Metabolism does slow a bit initially, so some daily exercise is a good idea. Things will balance out and that quit-related weight will drop off within a couple of months as long as you're eating the same as you were before you stopped smoking.

    Don't be too hard on yourself. Try to eat in moderation, but until you get your quit program under solid control, don't fret if you gain a few pounds. Quitting tobacco must be in the top slot of your priority list for as long as it takes. Weight can always be lost later.

    Angry

    Anger is a big trigger for most of us. Find healthy outlets for your feelings of frustration. If at all possible, deal with the situation that is bothering you head on and be done with it.

    Talk to friends and family about your feelings or write in your journal. The important thing is not to let anger simmer and get the upper hand. Reaching for a cigarette can seem like a quick fix, but it is a false fix.

    We may not always be able to choose the events that happen around us, but we do have control over how we let external situations affect us emotionally.

    Come up with a few ideas of things you can do to help you shift negative energy that bubbles up before it has the chance to do any damage. That way, when a situation arises, you're prepared. It will help you maintain control and get through it without smoking.

    Remind yourself that no one has the power to affect your emotions without your approval. You control your inner environment, for better or worse. Take responsibility for how you feel and it will empower you to control difficult emotions smoke-free.

    Lonely

    For most ex-smokers, loneliness is more accurately described as boredom. Smoking was such a constant companion it was an activity in and of itself.

    Early on in cessation, distraction is a useful tool that can help you manage feelings of boredom. Get out for a walk, watch a movie, or work on a hobby. Come up with a list of things you enjoy doing and do some of them. Make them fun and they will help you over the hump of this type of smoking trigger.

    Depression also falls under this category. People quitting tobacco are especially susceptible to the blues, at least early on. Leaving cigarettes behind can feel like the loss of a friend, albeit a destructive, life-stealing friend. After years of smoking, most of us feel the loss of smoking in this way to some extent.

    If you feel yourself slipping into a funk, take action. Change your environment(internal, external, or both) and it will help you change your attitude. It's ok to mourn the death of your smoking habit, but don't glorify it as something it was not. It was out to KILL you, remember that!

    Tired

    Fatigue can be a big trigger for the newly quit. Instead of lighting up when you're tired, give yourself permission to slow down and relax a little, take a nap, or go to bed early if you need to. Sounds so simple, yet people often push themselves too far with all of the demands of life these days.

    Be aware and take care. Don't let yourself get run down. A tired you is going to be more susceptible to junkie thinking and the threat of relapse. Protect your quit by protecting your health, both physically and mentally.

    It may feel like you'll never be free of cigarettes and thoughts of smoking will always plague you, but have some faith in yourself and the process, and please be patient. We taught ourselves to smoke, and we can teach ourselves to live comfortably without smokes too.

    Soon enough, you'll get to a place where smoking cessation is no longer a daily effort. You may even wonder why you didn't quit sooner, because life without cigarettes has become natural and easy.

    In the meantime, keep H.A.L.T. in your arsenal of quit tools and use it to decipher those urges as they come, one by one.

    great article by Terry Martin        
     
    Link to original post:  https://www.quittrain.com/topic/9-halt/
     
  9. jillar
    Repost by Sherry
    Posted 07 April 2009 - 11:31 PM
     
     
    Dear ___________,

    I am about to try and change my life for the better. I have quit smoking. I just wanted to write this letter to you so you know what to expect for the next couple of weeks, since the process of withdrawal can be very challenging for me, and for those around me. (Most people do not realize it, but nicotine addiction is literally one of the hardest drugs to kick, even harder than heroin).

    Everyone reacts to the withdrawal symptoms differently, but in general, during the first two weeks (Hell Week and Heck Week), I will most likely not be my normal self. My attention will literally be taken up with fighting the physical and mental urges to smoke. I may cry, I may yell, I may ignore you. Worst of all, I may say hurtful things to you, but I want you to know that this is the nicotine talking, not my heart. I WILL apologize afterwards, once the nicotine has left my body and my mind has cleared, but for the moment, please, PLEASE remember that I care about you, and let it roll off your back.

    You need to know that when a smoker quits, the body and the mind will try almost anything to trick the user into taking another puff. I may rationalize that "now is not a good time" I may talk about feeling a sense of emptiness and loss. My body may develop aches and pains. I may not be able to sleep. I may act like the pain I am experiencing.

    But be aware that I am doing this for ME, not for you. In this one important way, I have to be selfish, so that I cannot give the nicotine a reason to put the blame on anyone else. 

    Here are 10 things you CAN do to help: 
    • Be there when I need a hug, but don't be hurt when I push you away. 
    • If I tell you to leave me alone, give me space, but don't go too far...I need to know you are near no matter what the nicotine says. 
    • Don't try to argue with me when I start to rationalize...silence is a more powerful message. 
    • Avoid the topic of cigarettes (because I'm trying to get them off my mind), unless I bring it up first. 
    • Do the best you can to act as if everything is normal. The more "normal" you act, the faster I will get there. 
    • Consciously try to avoid letting me get into stressful situations...if something stressful can be put off for a couple of weeks, please try to do so. If not, please try to cushion me. 
    • Just keep telling me it will get better and that this effort is worth it. 
    • Tell me I am strong. Tell me you are proud of me. But also, tell me you will be there no matter what I say or do.
    I just wanted to prepare you because the first two weeks are usually the worst, but be aware that it doesn't suddenly get better...it will be a gradual process. Also, please be aware that while I am doing this quit for me, you and those around me will benefit as well. I will be free from the shackles of needing to know where the closest cigarette store is. I will be free of the smell. I will be free of an early death. And I will be free to spend more quality time with those I love.

    Thank you in advance for being strong enough to care about me, and help me through this.

    Love,

    Me 
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/12217-add-this-to-your-toolboxa-Letter-to-loved-ones/
     
  10. jillar

    Thoughts on Triggers

    By jillar,


    General
    Still winning
    Quit Date: 12th March 2014
     
    Posted October 29, 2015 
     
    It's been a while since I did a post as I don't ever want to take away from newer quits but I see a lot of triggers going around and some jumping off's. My way of speaking (writing) is to explain my experience and hopefully people can relate, or not and that's good if they can share their experience instead. Makes it much broader.  I also have no intention of saying in one paragraph what can be said in 20, I ramble  .
     
    So a trigger is simply your brain remembering "hey, we used to smoke now". I recently bumped a post called the Executive assistant, it's a great read! That's such a powerful realization to know that it is simply a thought and in reality, we have many thoughts within a day, some good some not. So the fact that I and others ran scared of quitting or staying quit (relapse queens take a bow!) was mainly due to the fear that I would always feel that I was missing something - once I found this support I quickly realized the thoughts would fade and it was worth holding on for the peace of mind later. So yes, at times it was uncomfortable mentally, but I never physically hurt, on the contrary, I actually physically started healing, we all do. I still love the stats about recovery times. Only 72 hours to get nicotine out is so fabulous really when you think of it, simply years of stuffing it in there and all gone in 3 days! I digress though. 
     
    It often took me by surprise when a smoking thought would take a hold of my brain, what we refer to as romancing the smoke. I did quickly learn that I could distract my brain quite easily though. if the trigger was simply a thought, another thought could replace it. If the trigger was simply remembering we would smoke here, then a new and healthier habit would soon get rid of the trigger or I could simply answer the thought with "we don't do that anymore". I heard it described as a tool box and I like that analogy. A toolbox of ways to outwit our own thoughts. In any other scenario this might sound like we have a screw loose (Jury's out on some of us!) but actually it's quite sane.  Get a plan of what you will do when you have your triggers and moving past it becomes easier. 
     
    We berate ourselves when we're past the initial couple of weeks for still getting triggers. I wonder why we anticipate we should be over it so quickly? I've read powerful lines like quitting is a journey not an event, that makes sense. A change of season trigger is not nearly the same as week 1 unless you give it lots of head space, so don't do that. If you're finding yourself romancing, talk/post/pm someone, smoking is a lie and it never was the answer to any of life's problems.  Reading up and educating yourself on how addiction works means you start to realize it's all a choice. That's where the answer is on triggers for me. If I "choose" to throw myself off the quit train, I will only have to start again, today or years later with more damage, may as well "get er done" today. I see others who continue to smoke and kid themselves. I've seen that journey on family ahead of me and trust me, it doesn't bear thinking about and I choose not to dwell on others who can't get real about this.
     
    So if ever a smoking thought flits through my mind now, it's easy to bat it away, like swatting a fly out of your face really. No it's nothing like the early thoughts. Actually I'll say that used to really worry me when 5 year veteran quitters said they still thought about smoking! Those people are abstaining, not quitting, there is a strong difference!  The reason I think is I embraced every trigger (holiday/seasonal/milestones) and faced it down. It wasn't always an elegant face down. I still feel like I missed a trick not buying shares in a tissue company! But the triggers do all get faced if you want to be free and it's perfectly reasonable to feel mentally on edge sometimes, non smokers get that! Non smokers have stress without smoking. They go drinking without smoking too, if they choose too.  
     
    "Choice"...isn't life all about choices. Quitting smoking is a good choice. Talking about struggling is another great choice, use the support here. We're here by choice, to help those who want it.
     
    So probably this whole post could have just been - Triggers are just thoughts of we could smoke here. but we don't smoke, so nope.
     
    However my inane drivel is far more fun and has filled your day with love and light I'm sure  :wub:  .
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/6195-thoughts-on-triggers/
     
     
  11. jillar

    Where does the train go?

    By jillar,


    General
    Jonny5
    Quit Date: 2011-12-21
     
    Posted April 28, 2014 
     
    We are all on board the quit train, chugging away to our destination, but where is that destination, when will you have arrived?
     
    the secret for me is that the train is very much like a child's train set, it has elaborate bridges, tunnels, stations etc, but ultimately the train is on a continuous loop.
     
    there are many stations where we pick up passengers, there's Cold Turkey Park, Patch Junction, E-cig Crossing, Grand Gum Central, and loads more that I've run out of names for 😉  but you get the point, we all start our journeys in different places.
     
    We all bring various amounts of baggage with us, sometimes our baggage takes up more room on the train than we do ourselves.  this is often the case for a new passenger.  The other occupants of the carriage are a little more experienced, and they soon help the new rider to pack away the baggage neatly, and in many cases the new rider realises that they have packed a whole load of junk that is weighing them down, so they toss it out the window, bit by bit.  sometimes it's harder for folk to let go of certain belongings, items that they have held on to for years, often these false idols weigh down the passenger more than they can comprehend, but life without these false idols feels kind of raw, naked if you like, it can feel like you are loosing your very identity, until of course that you realise that your identity was one of addiction, not of choice.
     
    Along the journey, we pass through many seasons and triggers, some of us for the first time, and some of us for the hundredth time.  they are frightening first time around, but we soon get used to them, and our companions comfort us and prepare us, and they warn us in advance.  We soon get used to them.
     
    We pass through Cliche Canyon, here we stop for a while to stretch our legs, and to reaffirm the things we have learned along the way.  we make up songs and rhymes, and acronyms for the newbies to sing, so that they remember that One Equals All, so that they know to Never Take Another Puff, and that Not One Puff Ever will keep them safe.
     
    The most treacherous part of the journey is Relapse Ravine, it lays just beyond Memory Lane, somewhere after passing through No man's Land. This can be the most lonely part of the journey, A passenger can be sitting in one of the quiet carriages, the newbie coach has gotten a bit too noisy for them, they sit and stare out of the window, gazing down memory lane, dreams of a long lost romance can fill their hearts and minds, and can drive them crazy.  some of these passengers will go and chat to the newbies, they understand that they may need to be reminded of the early struggles, some of them ask the olde phartes what to do.  But some unfortunately climb on the roof,  bypassing the SOS safety rail, and throw themselves into relapse ravine, looking for their lost love.
     
    It is important to remember that when we are smokers, that was our comfort zone, It is not the zone that we have to live in if we wish to break free.  Some of you won't like the way others will try to pull you out of that comfort zone, some of you will flourish upon it. some will take offence.   There are many methods, and all of us are teachers and students when it comes to learning about how to get through to someone. However in the field of smoking cessation, and specifically of learning to be a happy non smoker, well it's like learning to read.  you just do it, and then you know it, it doesn't take effort to remember how to do it, and no more learning will be needed to stop you from forgetting it.  You just can, or you can not.  My ability to read is not something I feel complacent about, it's something I feel confident about.
     
    there are some people on the train, who are really just riding it because they know that the train is run by volunteers, and they volunteer their time, and experience, to pay for the free ticket that was once passed to them by a friendly face many years before.  Sometimes they challenge the distorted logic of the junkie, out of love and compassion for the person trapped inside, the person that reminds them of themselves, sometimes they get hugged, and sometimes they get shouted at.  they know the risks of engaging the junkie, they were once the junkie too, they mostly say the things that are now so obvious to them, but once were not. They have ridden the train so much, that they know every single inch of track, they know it inside out.  and they knew the moment they reached their destination.  It was the same destination for all of them.  it was the place where they found inner peace, no junkie chatter, no doubt, no desire or need to smoke, and no way on earth to return to smoking, without making a deliberate decision to sign up for slow suicide.
     
    I believe that is the destination that we are all trying to reach, regardless of where we boarded the train, and regardless of how rough or smooth, or long, or short our journey was.
     
    I sincerely look forward to welcoming you there, each and every last one of you.
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/1045-where-does-the-train-go/
     
     
  12. jillar

    Reclaiming Our Comfort

    By jillar,


    General
    DenaliBlues
    Quit Date: 2/10/2022
     
    Posted 16 hours ago 
     
    So sorry you are ill and feeling skunky, @Linda.  I’ve felt the same way. This wily addiction sure likes to try and strike when we are feeling low or unawares. Stay strong!
     
    Bear with me as I try to express something for you, for me, for all of us who suffer… there is something important about “comfort” that quitting requires us to reclaim. I think smoking hijacked our ability to feel comfort. Instead of receiving tender care, we received ugly toxins and the manipulative mind games that come with addiction. Smoking was much less gratifying than it was cracked up to be. But Addict Mind wants to smoke anyway. So it’s telling me (falsely) that I am bereft of all comfort.
     
    The thing is, we are not bereft. We just need to reprogram how we’re habituated, to give ourselves ACTUAL kindness and care, not crappy chemical substitutes.
     
    There are days when it feels impossible to experience being soothed without smoking. But I try. It’s a great creative challenge to find other ways. And when I simply can’t comfort myself, I benefit from attempting to give kindness or comfort to others. I have VERY happy cats since I quit… lol.
     
    Link to original post:  https://www.quittrain.com/topic/21298-crazyness/
     
  13. jillar

    Why Did I Join A Quit Smoking Forum?

    By jillar,


    General
    Tink
    Quit Date: 22/11/2013
    Posted April 13, 2014 
     
    I am not a social media buff, I only have facebook where its my family and friends, people I have known most my life or who I trust and feel comfortable around (I only have about 150 friends added)
     
     I was not good on computers, I can be a bit of a technology phobic -
     
    so why did I join a quit smoking forum?
     
    I really wanted to quit smoking is the answer and I did not feel that I could do it alone, I was looking for support, my whole family smoked and I needed support away from that environment, some place where I could just concentrate on me and my quit, no judgement, no keeping quiet about it and if I needed to moan or was going through a hard time, there was going to be someone looking out for me and keeping me on the straight and narrow when the going got tough because those people supporting had the same goal as me or had walked the path before me.
     
    As soon as I joined I was warmly welcomed and I felt apart of the place straight away
     
    I quickly learned that education, support and understanding played a huge part in me quitting smoking
     
    being around ex smokers who have no other interest but to help you quit smoking, no monies are to be made here, no corporate fog, no quit smoking tea is being sold here, its just truth and experiences and support and that gave me confidence and trust.
     
    Its just us ex smokers here, helping each other, educating each other and the thing I love the most is this forum is run by ex smokers 
     
    I hope that if you are thinking about quitting or have quit and are looking for what I was to help you then please consider joining - I have not regretted one single second of my experience here on QuitTrain.
     
    Kind Regards 
     
    Tracey
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/595-why-did-i-join-a-quit-smoking-forum/
     
  14. jillar

    5 Secrets for quitting smoking

    By jillar,


    General
    Jenny
    Quit Date: 05/24/2012
     
    Posted December 26, 2014 
     
    1. It’s never too late to quit. While it’s best to quit smoking as early as possible, quitting smoking at any age will enhance the length and quality of your life. You’ll also save money and avoid the hassle of going outside in the cold to smoke. You can even inspire those around you to quit smoking!
    2. Learn from past experiences. Most smokers have tried to quit before and sometimes people get discouraged thinking about previous attempts. Instead, treat those experiences as steps on the road to future success. Think about what helped you during those tries and what you’ll do differently in your next quit attempt.
    3. You don’t have to quit alone. Telling friends and family that you’re trying to quit and enlisting their support will help ease the process. PLUS there is the QUITTRAIN where you get support 24/7 from people who can relate.
    4. Medication can help, if you know how to use them.  Many folks don’t use them correctly or don’t use them long enough, so be sure to follow the directions.
    5. Every smoker can quit. Each person needs to find the right combination of techniques for them and above all, they need to keep trying.
     
     
    Quitting isn’t easy but 50 million ex-smokers in the United States are proof that it’s possible. Make 2015 the year you begin a new, smokefree life!
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/3954-5-secrets-for-quitting-smoking/
     
  15. jillar

    We can not be casual smokers

    By jillar,


    General
    Jonny5
    Quit Date: 2011-12-21
     
    Posted April 14, 2014 
     
    If you could, you already would be.  There are some who can really genuinely take it or leave it.  I read once that 90% of nicotine users become addicted. the others don't persue a smoking career so to speak, or smoke occasionally with no withdrawals.
     
    That is not you.
     
    You are a nicotine addict, that is why you are reading this, and that is why you can't just have the occasional smoke.
     
    we are all or nothing, The law of addiction states that reintroduction of the addictive substance to the addict will reawaken the addiction and start the withdrawal process over again.
     
    it can not be any other way for us.
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/637-we-can-not-be-casual-smokers/
     
  16. jillar
    MarylandQuitter
    Quit Date: 10/07/2013
     
    Posted October 17, 2014 
     
    I know for me, my family truly had not a clue about the addiction much less what it was like to quit.  This is why I suppose my doctor told me to get involved in a support group. 
     
    Nobody Understands What I'm Going Through
    Video discusses what family members can and cannot do to help their loved ones to quit smoking.
     
     
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/3132-nobody-understands-what-im-going-through-while-quitting-smoking/
     
  17. jillar

    For All Your Tobacco Needs

    By jillar,


    General
    Paul723
    Quit Date: July 23, 2013
     
    Posted June 2, 2017 
    That was the sign on the shop in the middle of a non-descript strip mall.  My first thought was it is empty for me.  Then I started to think about the word need.   This need is not like air or water or food; this is the need of an addict.  Nicotine only creates the need for more nicotine.  Deny this need and the withdrawal cravings cannot kill the addict (though his brain may try to convince him otherwise).  The need is artificial and self-inflicted. 
     
    I started to think that I should open up a shop right next store with a sign that said “For All Your Non-Smoking Wants”.  Grab a cart and come shopping with me.  Better Health, add that to the cart.  More Time with Your Friends and Loved Ones, add that.  Lower Chance of Heart and Lung Disease, throw that in.  Clean Smell as well.  How about some Freedom and a Sense of Changing Your Life for the Better – let’s have a big load of that.  Time to check out – and you get the thousands of dollars you would have wasted at the store next door.  That’s right, you get paid at the “Non-Smoking Wants” store.  Isn’t that a great place to shop?
     
    Link go original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/8630-for-all-your-tobacco-needs/
     
  18. jillar

    Take smoking off your table!

    By jillar,


    General
    REZ
     
    Posted April 30, 2015 
     
        Everyone has a lot of stuff on their table and in their life. You might have job stress, lots of bills, some medical issues and a host of other things going on that makes the thought of quitting seem impossible but it's not! All those things have nothing to do with smoking. You might reach for a cigarette when your dealing with them but if you think about it, smoking doesn't help resolve any of your other problems. All it does is makes the bills more difficult to pay because your paying for your smokes with money you could be putting towards some of the bills, increases the medical issues in the long run and your job stress probably will always be there but you will be able to cope with it better! Only thing smoking does for your table is keep it cluttered with ash trays, stink and haze from the cigarettes!
     
      Once you take smoking off your table, all the other stuff will start to fall in to place and your life will be easier in the long run and you will have a clean organized table that's easier to deal with. You will smell better, have more energy, more money, no more smokers cough and look better with your pearly white teeth and that could be a factor in getting a raise or promotion at work that you were wanting and that will help with the bills! You can even save that cigarette money to help pay for that vacation you have been putting off. Everyone will see your new found pride and self confidence of what you have accomplished and people especially employer like that! You might not see some smoking friends as much anymore but that's probably because you will be hanging out with some new nonsmoking friends!
     
    By taking smoking off your table your body will immediately start to heal itself physically and mentally. You will be more active again and have a brand new attitude towards life! You will want to do the things you used to do again like going to the gym, bike hikes, sled riding, swimming, playing a sport of some kind because your energy level be way up there. You will not be so out of breath and sweaty in the summer and in the winter, not as cold or get as many colds either! Your attitude towards anything will be "OK lets do it" instead of "OK we'll see, maybe tomorrow"!
     
    How do you take smoking off the table? To be honest it's not that easy but I guess that where the pride and self confidence comes from once you quit smoking and not one way or size fit all of us either, just like everybody is a little different, every quit is a little different. The biggest thing I think is your mind set, you need to want to quit smoking more then you want to smoke! A wise man once said, Why would you put something in your mouth and light it on fire! Next you need a tool box to help build your quit, see:   http://www.quittrain.com/topic/2008-quit-tool-boxes/?hl=tool  Fill your tool box with what you will need to quit not necessarily what others put in there's but take a look at theirs anyway, you probably could use some of there tools and ideas. Armed with the right attitude and the right tools for the job, you can take smoking off your table or even build a whole new bigger and better one!
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/5245-take-smoking-off-your-table/
     
  19. jillar

    Give it a try

    By jillar,


    General
    SueBeDoo
    Quit Date: 29th september 2013
     
     
    Posted October 24, 2014 · IP 
    I was one of those people that quit smoking more times than i care to remember and i always gave in at the first sign of a crave. 
    But this time when i quit, i got through each crave and do you know what, i felt euphoric for making it, it is the best feeling ever, you have the strongest urge to smoke but you hang tight and do not give in and the high you feel is just amazing. Cant beat a free buzz  :pleasantry:
    when i would wake up the next morning after not giving in i would be on cloud nine all day,Got to the point were i was looking forward to getting a crave because i knew the feeling i would get when the crave went was priceless, no cigarette can give the same feeling.
    I promise you it is fab,
    Give it a try quit now and see how you feel when you get through the really tough ones, you will feel a million times better than if you had gave in and smoked.
    When a crave hits face it head on say come on do your worst, is that the best you can do and try laugh through it.
    You owe it to yourself to give 1oo% to your quit xxxx
    :give_heart:  :dance2:
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/3233-give-it-a-try/
     
  20. jillar

    Traveling as a smoker

    By jillar,


    General
    Jenny
    Quit Date: 05/24/2012
     
    Posted May 7, 2017 
     
    I went on a trip to Texas recently for work and brought a co-worker with me.  She smokes.  We agreed to meet at a local mall and then drive together to the airport.  When I got there to pick her up she was pacing back and forth outside the vehicle, in the rain, getting those last puffs in.  At the airport she tried to find a time to smoke but things moved too quickly and she was not able to before we boarded.  Everywhere we went the next few days were HELL for her because she couldn't smoke.  
     
    Meanwhile, I had a great time!  It still amazes me when I travel how easy it is now.  No stressing to find a place to smoke.  No withdrawl...just a relaxing time.
     
     
    Life after quitting is so much better.  For anyone on the fence or in the early days of your quit keep going!  It gets so much easier.  Don't live your life desperately searching for the smoking area.  There's nothing for you there.
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/8458-traveling-as-a-smoker/
     
  21. jillar

    Climbing the Rope

    By jillar,


    General
    Nancy
    Quit Date: 07/07/2013
     
    Posted April 16, 2014 
    ORIGINALLY BY OBOB-GOLD FREEDOM MEMBER-WHYQUIT.COM 

    So, I start reminiscing a bit about the early days of my quit. I remember members popping in to post their celebration threads. Green, Bronze, Silver, Gold and beyond. It felt downright intimidating. Here was I, with my seemingly tiny little insignificant sum of 3 days, 4 days, 5 days and so on... clinging to my quit like a man clinging to a life line thrown over the side of a ship to a man overboard in a turbulent sea. More comfortable ex-smokers would roll past on their skiff, yachts and cruiseliners, each with the same advice. Keep climbing that rope. Don't let go of it. It'll get easier. We promise. 

    To me, those people seemed like heroes. From my perspective, they were superhuman, with this gift of comfort I couldn't hardly imagine at that point. I dreamed of being like them some day, but it seemed hard to fathom that this splintery rope would really get me there. It was hard, and I was tired. But, I really wanted to be like those amazing people, and everyone of them told me the same thing… keep climbing, don't let go. Simple. A real slog, but simple. 

    So, I took their advice, kept climbing and didn't let go. Lo and behold, it was true. It did, in fact, get easier, and easier. There was the odd bit of rope burn, and occasionally a seagull would take aim at my dome with an unwelcome gift (nobody takes a metaphor to the extremes I will), but all-in-all, it got more and more doable, less and less of a chore, and at some point, almost without noticing it, I found myself reclining on the Lido Deck with the others. That was years ago now. I've been kicking back up here for a good long time now, and I can tell you it's very nice. 

    So, what's my point? My point is to you, the newcomer. Down there on the rope. Yeah, you. You're looking up at me (and the others who have so much time under their belts), and thinking, "man, that guy's almost surreal. Maybe he's got something I don't. How in the world did he get up there? Surely, he didn't take this blasted rope?! He must have some secret that I don't. He's gotta have supernatural powers to have such comfort." 

    My point to you is this: Every one of us up here got here the same way. We took the rope. We climbed it. We didn't let go. And, just like we were told, it got easier. You will also get here that way. 

    Three years ago, I was where you are. Everyone here has been there at one time. We understand what you're going through. Nobody here is a superhero. We're just addicts like you who found the rope earlier. And, we can each promise you… the rope is climbable, it does get easier, and there IS a place for you up here. 

    There's one other way in which we're similar. Neither of us have wings. We let go the rope, or step off the side, we all plummet to the abyss the same way. One puff and it's all history. I learned that on my way up too. People who'd seemed almost unreal they were so comfortable, for no reason that I could understand, suddenly got up from their comfortable seats, walked to the side of the deck, and threw themselves off. 

    Breaking the metaphor, so that it's perfectly clear, they took a puff and lost their freedom. Some of these were members who had been very active in supporting others, and had experienced months and even years of sustained comfort. One day, for their own reasons, they decided to chance it, and lo and behold their comfort was gone. They returned to their old levels of smoking, often more. I know this is true from email, and from the time when Freedom's policies were different and relapsed members were allowed to rejoin. All it took was one puff, and it was over. 

    So, while it may be tempting to look at some of the longer term quitters with awe, consider that we are, and always will be subject to the same rules you are. One puff = all puffs. If I were to slip down to the pub right now, walk up to a friend, and take a drag off of his cigarette, I know full well that I would be out on my deck tomorrow night with a pack and an ash tray putting memories of Freedom and this post and everything I've given myself over the past 3 years in a deep hidden locker that my junky side would work overtime to prevent me from opening. 

    Why is it important to point out that, with respect to nicotine addiction, you and I are the same, just separated by a bit of time? I guess because it's tempting for a new quitter to allow himself or herself to believe that all of these people dispensing education and encouragement here, couldn't possibly understand what they're going through. It may be tempting to listen to your own junky mind telling you, "You're different. These people aren't like you. They don't understand what you're experiencing. You know that you'll never be able to be like them. It's impossible for you." 

    My long-winded, metaphorically-extreme point is to tell you that that's bunk. While you are different from me in many ways, our addiction to nicotine is the same. You will find comfort (emphasis on WILL) just as I and every other long-term member of Freedom did (by never taking another puff), and you WILL maintain that comfort the same way we all must (by never taking another puff).The factor that really shows the addiction is not how hard or how easy it is to quit. What really shows the addiction is how universally easy it is to go back. One puff and the quit can go out the window. 
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/719-climbing-the-roperepost/
     
  22. jillar

    The Happy Smoke?

    By jillar,


    General
    PixelSketch
     
    Posted May 4, 2017 
     
    I've been pretty much craving-free since about the third-ish week. I still get a quick smoking thought once in a blue moon, but I laugh at it, and 'poof', it's gone. Just like that. Which, honestly, still shocks me. I never thought I would ever be able to quit. And if by some miracle I did, I was pretty sure I'd be tortured and miserable. I'm thankful every day for this quit, and for this board.
     
    So things are good. But the other day I had a really strong and very persistent thought of smoking that I just couldn't shake. I knew I wouldn't smoke anyway. I'm strong in my quit, and I refuse to give it up. There are far too many benefits to being smoke-free that I'm loving so much. I've no desire to go back.
     
    But it really annoyed me that I couldn't get rid of this. All day, the thought of smoking just danced around and around my head. Grrrrr!
     
    I finally had some time at the end of the day and I sat down with a cup of tea and went back over my day to see if I could find the trigger. 
     
    Well, it turns out, I didn't just associate smokes with the beginning or end of a task, as a sort of reward, or treat. I didn't smoke just when I was stressed or bored. I also reached for one when I was REALLY happy or excited about something. Ahhhh....click click click. It all fell into place.
     
    I had had a really good day. In the middle of a super crazy project, I unexpectedly had a few personal and professional things just work out in a way I never saw coming. And the sense of excitement, future possibilities as a result, and celebration produced some strong positive feelings. And it turned out I coped with strong intense feelings, even happy ones, by deadening them with a smoke. 
     
    So, once I realized this, I needed to test the theory out. So I just gave in to my feelings. I cranked some music and danced my excitement out. And I let myself really, truly feel those feelings. To let myself be really happy. To not worry that something would go wrong or it wouldn't last. Just feel it.  And guess what? The day-long craving finally went away. And another trigger busted. 
     
    I don't need The 'Happy' Smoke, or The 'Reward' Smoke, or The 'Stress' Smoke, or The 'I Just Ate Too Much Pizza' Smoke. I just need to let myself experience whatever it is I'm feeling or experiencing. I need to own my feelings. I'm responsible for them. Not some rolled up plant in a piece of paper.
     
    Link to original post:https://www.quittrain.com/topic/8436-the-happy-smoke/
     
  23. jillar

    Keep It Simple

    By jillar,


    General
    Boo
    Quit Date: March 9, 2016
     
    Posted May 11, 2017 
     
    I was talking to a friend last night.  He's flirting with the idea of quitting, but is currently doing the ol' procrastination two-step.  He calls it "preparation."  He is nervous and has a lot of questions and is getting himself worked up over hypothetical scenarios, most of which will never come to pass.  "How did you quit" he asked.  My reply: "I stopped putting cigarettes in my mouth and setting them on fire."
     
    How do you quit...you just quit.  There are things you can do to facilitate and foster your quit (education, support, etc.), but the act of quitting hardly even qualifies as an act.  You don't have to do anything.  You simply refrain from doing something that you used to do.  Simple.
     
    Make a pledge to yourself not to smoke cigarettes.  Make good on that pledge everyday.  Congratulations, you're a non-smoker now.
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/8491-keep-it-simple/
     
  24. jillar

    ***NO MORE EXCUSES***

    By jillar,


    General
    babs609
    Quit Date: 07/13/2012
     
    Posted April 6, 2014 
     
    I'm 16....right now I'm a teen, i'm having fun. I enjoy smoking. I can quit at any time. So, I'll quit when......
     
    I'm 20.. but life is a little stressful right now...I have 2 babies, working full time..saving to buy a house....I'm still young and won't be affected long term by this smoking...no big deal...right? I'll quit definitely by the time...
     
    I'm 25.....still a lot of my family and friends still smoke...they seem to be okay. That must mean I'll be ok..My parents both smoked for years and they are both still healthy and vibrant...look at all these people outside..taking a smoke break with me...we are all ok right???
     
    I'm 30.....starting to get a little nervous...my dad quit, my sister quit, handful of friends are jumping ship,. I've had 15+ years of smoking now and fear is creeping in a little. Fear of quitting..and never enjoying life as I know it...and fear of never quitting and suffering a horrible disease and feeling the effects of smoking. Time to dig that hole in the sand deeper and put my head in there...I'll quit when...
     
    I'm 36..Dad is diagnosed...Stage 4 lung cancer..inoperable. :blink: 😞 My smoking has now doubled! I know...he's dying and I'm smoking more...what is wrong with me? As dad lie in a coma taking his last breaths...I whispered in his ear "I promise daddy, I'm going to quit smoking". I purchased a copy of Allen Carr's easyway to quit smoking and I did it...I quit smoking!! Yay me!!!! 3 months later...I start getting restless...cravings are coming left and right...I read the book again but the words aren't jumping out at me like they did when I first read it...I felt like I was losing my mind. I looked at the back of the book and called a number they listed as support...It was in London. The book was old and the number was for the publishing company, not a support line. I was losing my strength...and ultimately relapsed. 😞 I will probably be a smoker for life....I can't do this again....
     
    The next 8 years are a blurr....that book remained on my shelf collecting dust--every once in a while I would glance at it with guilt and say...some day...maybe in the spring when it's nice out, maybe the summer, maybe the fall, after christmas,...new years resolution, after my birthday....ok..after spring again..one excuse after another. I was smoking more than ever. I did quit a few times during that time...few days or weeks..only to smoke again...always started with one puff.
     
    Finally...at the age of 44...after all that struggle, relapse, disappointment, denial, and thousands of excuses....I finally picked up that book..knowing this was it...I was either going to quit for good this time...or I was going to remain a smoker till my death. I knew I just didn't have another quit in me otherwise. I can't keep going through the torture of quitting over and over..it's exhausting..and the pain from relapse is too distressing.
     
    So, my final quit began. Only this time...I knew that the quitting journey was a roller coaster and even though I feel strong in my quit one day...doesn't mean I will still feel that way the next. I proved that on my last quit. I Googled quit smoking support and got it. Best thing I ever did to ensure that I would never smoke again. I introduced myself and became a member.
     
    Point of the story is....time moves so quickly..and the excuses are just that....excuses. Before you know it...nearly 30 years have gone by. The best time to quit is TODAY....tomorrow has a way of always being that carrot that dangles out in front of you...never able to reach it. Addictions are design to hook you for life. I do wish I quit sooner, I do wish I never smoked. But wishing for something that is in the past, is a waste of time. The only thing I can change is what I do from now on.
     
    My quality of life is so much better today. I am healthier, happier, and confident. I have quite a smoking history and am full aware it may come back to bite me in the ass...however I will not die a smoker chained to addiction. No matter what. I am free.
     
    If you are reading this and still smoking, please.....sign up...join today. Read all the information here and in the blog and educate yourself about nicotine addiction. Don't just read once..read again and again and again until you "get it".
     
    You will never regret that you quit smoking but there is plenty of regret when you don't.
     
    Quit today....no more excuses.
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/280-no-more-excuses/
     
  25. jillar

    Over and over again

    By jillar,


    General
    Abby
    Quit Date: June 30 2011
     
    Posted July 2, 2016 
     
    Having to push the restart button over and over was so exhausting , so discouraging and so defeating . I felt hopeless that "I" may one day be quit. I learned that to keep a quit I had to make a firm committment to MYSELF that I could not continue to do what I had always done. Some craves can be really tough but everyone we get through has less power the next time. I remember how exhausting it was, battling craves and battling my mind, battling craves; battling my mind ; until one day miraculously I totally and completely understood that smoking was not an option anymore ; for ANY REASON ! That mean’t my cigs were NOT on the TABLE , NOT on the CHAIR , NOT ANYWHERE ! They were NOT on the counter , NOT at the store ! Letting go of the romance I was giving to cigarettes brought relief . Only then did I REST in PEACE knowing what my goal WAS and what MY job was : FOCUSING on the journey to SUCCEED . Why be our worst enemy ? Thats what I was : my own worst enemy ! Don’t look at success being distant and far away , look at success as being now : today. One crave beaten is success / one day beaten is success ; its One day at a time--- NO LIE ! Because we have been prey to addiction, it takes some hard work to retrain our thinking to physically and emotionally recover , but hard work does pay off , and we will never have to deal with Day 1 again . I learned after many months quit that what we feed ourselves determines EVERY DECISION we make ; and our decisions will determine the FINAL OUTCOME . We must not let anything --- how we feel---- our circumstances ------ or how hard it is, snatch our quit from under our nose. Be good to yourself — work through every day …there is a big payday coming .Sherri L.
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/7233-over-and-over-again/
     

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QuitTrain®, a quit smoking support community, was created by former smokers who have a deep desire to help people quit smoking and to help keep those quits intact.  This place should be a safe haven to escape the daily grind and focus on protecting our quits.  We don't believe that there is a "one size fits all" approach when it comes to quitting smoking.  Each of us has our own unique set of circumstances which contributes to how we go about quitting and more importantly, how we keep our quits.

 

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