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jillar

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Blog Entries posted by jillar

  1. jillar

    Fearing the Crave

    By jillar,


    General
    Jenny
    Quit Date: 05/24/2012
     
    Posted November 9, 2014 
     
    Cravings are the most feared in a quit and we all know they can be uncomfortable. It's this fear that keeps many of us from even attempting to quit smoking. The fear of being uncomfortable.  We feel this way even though we know that smoking related disease is probably not terribly comfortable either.....addiction is so not rational....
     
    The addiction wants to manipulate you into believing that there is no way you could ever survive quitting.  No way you could ever get through a minute, hour or day feeling like you want to smoke and not give in.  
     
    Seriously.....Pffft.  We're tougher than that.  It's all just hype designed to keep you smoking.  A crave is not a command to smoke.  Just because you feel it, does not mean you need to act on it.  Acknowledge it and move on.  As time goes on, those craves will fade away and in it's place will be a person who stood up and took control of their life.  There is no greater feeling than that.  No greater feeling.
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/3385-fearing-the-crave/
     
  2. jillar

    Wise words.....'Embrace The Suck'

    By jillar,


    General
    Soberjulie
     
    Posted November 7, 2015 
     
    I dunno if Sarge still posts here but some of his no nonsense, shoot from the hip, tell it like it is words helped me immensely in my first days...weeks...months.
    The best:
    Embrace The Suck.
     
    You'll have moments, many moments, where quitting just plain sucks.
    If you're anything like me, you'll think of throwing the towel in....because...."the way I feel sucks!"
     
    Embrace the suck.
    Accept it.
    Head down and power through it!
     
    Wherever you are Sarge.....thank you.
    I've earned them stripes!
    I'm coming up on 2 years.......and I never ever have to 'embrace the suck' in regards to nicotine anymore.
    But Embrace The Suck has been instrumental in many areas of my life
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/6233-wise-wordsembrace-the-suck/
     
  3. jillar

    Why N.O.P.E is a must!

    By jillar,


    General
    Jenny
     
    Quit Date: 05/24/2012
     
    Posted March 30, 2014 
     
    I love this article on why you can't have just one.   It Takes Just One Cigarette to Relapse.
    January 14, 2013 by Cameron Kellett
     
    You will never smoke again. Accepting this is perhaps the most daunting aspect of quitting smoking and nicotine addiction recovery.
     
    The thought of never having another cigarette can be so overwhelming, that smokers will willingly go to the grave an addict and never again taste a life free from the disease addiction.
    If you have decided you no longer want to be a drug addict always in need, the reality of never smoking again is what you must ultimately confront.
    In order to heal from addiction and achieve freedom you must be completely resolved to never smoke another cigarette again. Why?
     
    Because the next smoke is always going to be just one cigarette. As will the next one and the next one and the next one!
    You see, the thing with healing from nicotine addiction, is that it relies on a large number of neurons and neural connections within your brain metabolizing and breaking down due to INACTIVITY!.
    The moment you smoke, especially during the early stages, you re ignite weakened connections that have been laying dormant. Instead of allowing them to break down, you re invigorate them and in turn, re enforce them.
    Quitting immediately becomes harder.
     
    To be free, you have to heal, and to heal, you must absolutely not smoke. Having a smoke will always be a step backward.
    Having a smoke will always be a step backward.
    There are going to be times, even in the medium to long term, the deceiving allure of tobacco will force you to recall the high of dopamine that came after relieving withdrawal.
     
    If you find yourself arguing that “just one cigarette,” won’t hurt, you are in all likelihood, not fully resolved to quitting. Chances are, you’re also not prepared for long term recovery and have possibly quit under false expectations.
    Full recovery takes many months and there will be many craves and many individual neural connections to break down.
    Of the very small percentage of smokers who relapse after medium to long term recovery, each and every one started with just one cigarette. If you decide that one cigarette won’t hurt, you will almost certainly spend the rest of your life a miserable full time smoker.
     
    Recovery always begins and ends after your LAST cigarette and never, ever, the next.
     
    The fact is, until you choose to not smoke, EVER, you will never become a happy and free non smoker. Recovery always begins and ends after your LAST cigarette and never, EVER, the next.
    If you find yourself debating whether to have just one cigarette, ask yourself this question:
        Are you willing to undo everything you have achieved, all the recovery you have been through, and waste all that pain you have suffered, just to satisfy an extremely short and          momentary whim?
        A whim that will pass in less than a second if you allow it too.
        No?
        Then I guess it’s time to get on with enjoying the rest of your life!
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/20-why-nope-is-a-must/
     
     
  4. jillar
    notsmokinjo
    Quit Date: 28/11/2017
     
    Posted October 9, 2018 
     
    Are you afraid to QUIT? ... I was.
     
    Are you scared that you will fail or fail again? ... Yep, me too.
     
    Is your fear that it will be too hard? .... kinda
     
    Is your fear you just can't do it? ... that too
     
    Is your fear quitting will make you sick? ... yep
     
    Is your fear quitting will hasten you death? ... Absolutely petrified this would be the case and as irrational as it was it was the biggest fear I faced.
     
    You know what I learnt when I quit? ..... I learnt fear is just a tool nicotine used to control me... it was irrational and built out of proportion. I have been quit for over 10 months now and if anything I am angry with myself that I wasted so many years smoking because I was scarred for all the reasons above.
     
    Have I failed?.... not yet, and I wont,  I have no intentions of failing, I feel comfortable saying this feels different than any previous quit. I'm an addict, I'll always be an addict, I'll always be one puff away from a pack a day... but I know that, I embrace that and I really don't want that one puff ever.
     
    Was it too hard??? .... Hell no, it was actually easier than I thought it would be... not saying it wasn't hard my lovelies because it was... but it was nowhere near as hard as I had let fear build it up to in my mind. I've certainly done much harder things in my life but then again I've done much easier things too... facing my fears head on and not using them as an excuse to not try has made it easier than I thought it could ever be.
     
    Could I do it???  ...... YES... I could and you can too... its simple,  don't put anything in your mouth and set it on fire... after that first 24 hours, I know I could do a day without smoking, I'd done it... so I only have to last 24 hours... then when that's up I only have to last another one.... 10 months later people and here I am doing this every day... same way I'm going to be doing it for the rest of my days.
     
    So did quitting make me sick???.....  NOPE.... not one bit, didn't even get bronchitis this winter and its been a long time since that was the case. So if you have been lurking you might know I have some health issues that came to light after I quit but had I not quit it would have been too late to do anything to make me better... so no, quitting did not make me sick, it is helping to cure me.
     
    Am I dead??? ......NOPE... obviously... and some of you may be scratching your heads at this one.... but for nearly a decade I was terrified to quit, I had worked the fear almost to the point of phobia, occasionally I still have nightmares that because I am not smoking I will die... Is this chick frickin' crazy? I hear you ask yourselves.... well yes, we all know that I am, but my brain and the hold I let nicotine have over it turned a failed quit attempt (that saw me end up in hospital in a coma post a PE from a DVT) into nearly a decade of 'certainty' that if I tried to quit again I would die. I mean break out in a sweat at the thought of it fear. Long story short, I used a quit method and had a bad reaction to it that caused a DVT that turned into a Pulmonary Embolism ... so 3 days in a coma, nearly 2 weeks in hospital and what was the first thing I did when I walked out the door... I lit up.... and then I convinced myself, or let my addiction convince me, that I should never try to quit again because next time I wouldn't be leaving the hospital.... BUT am I dead???? NOPE.... Will I die??... well of course I will, we all will, but what I can guarantee you 100% is that quitting will not be why I died.
     
    So what did I have to Fear???.... NOTHING, my fears were all like wisps of smoke... I blew against them and they dispersed into the ether leaving me smoke free, nicotine free.... leaving me free.
     
    And guess what, you too can face your fear.
     
    Don't let a fear that has festered and grown because of an addiction's want of control over you be the thing that stops you from quitting. Use today, International Face Your Fears Day... to do just that, face your fear and take back your life. Just over 10 months ago I did and it was the best gift I have ever given myself.
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/11208-scared-to-quit-face-your-fears-i-did-and-lived-to-tell/
     
  5. jillar

    One less thing to worry about

    By jillar,


    General
    Lust4Life
    Quit Date: Sept 26 2016
     
    Posted October 9, 2018 
     
    Those of you that know me from QSMB know that I was a secret smoker.  Closet smoker.  Naïve smoker.  Pick a label any label.  I lived in constant fear.  Constant worry.
     
    Fear of being outed.   So much worry. Which cracks me up now because smokers stink no matter what is done to mask it.   Pretty sure my smoking was the pink elephant in the room no one talked about.  Yay!
     
    I had an ongoing checklist.   Do I have air freshener in my car,  face wipes, baby powder? Mints, gum, mouthwash?.  Do I have time to drive around the block again and keep smoking?   Never ending cycle of worry.
     
    Before leaving for a night out- do I have enough cigs?  Better get another pack.  I never bought cigs by the carton.  Only real smokers bought cigarettes by the carton.  Right?  Hahahahaha!  Oh my.
     
    When out in public; the worry of being spotted was ever present.   Go outside around the building, downwind, hide behind that tree.  Constant worry.   
     
    When home – did I empty and hide the ashtrays?  Did I sweep away the ashes in case we have a drop in visitor?  Can my neighbor see or smell the smoke?   Are the bugs out yet?  In the South, we have some bugs.   Your home can be as clean as an OR and you’ll still have some bugs inside.  Outside…game on.  Gigantic mutant roaches that fly.  Mosquitoes that steal gallons of your blood from one bite.
     
    Hurricane Michael is knocking on the shores of my home State.  I checked with family-everyone has everything.  He’ll barrel through some more of the SE.  We have prepared and have what we need. 
     
    Gas tank is full in both cars.  We have batteries.  We have containers of water in the freezer.   Pantry is stocked.  All devices are perched on chargers until the power goes.  And, it will go.  Matches for candles and grills.
     
    The cigarettes are at the store.  I don’t have any. 
     
    I am not worried about that.
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/11212-one-less-thing-to-worry-about/
     
  6. jillar

    Restless

    By jillar,


    General
    babs609
    Quit Date: 07/13/2012
     
    Posted February 6, 2015 
     
    That's the word I used during the acute phase of my quit.  If I called it a "craving" I felt like it had power over me......as if the only thing that will ease that craving is the very thing that caused it and nothing will ever feel normal again..I will never feel relaxed or content again.  To me..the word "craving" went parrallel with "feed the craving"
     
    But when I changed the wording to "restless", it took a whole new meaning for me.  Restlessness occurred because my body is going back to the state it was in before I became a smoker.  Just because I'm restless..is it really my body telling me I need a smoke?  Or is it my junkie brain that's telling me that.  There are all kinds of emotions and feelings that cause us to be restless...hunger, thirst, fatigue, anger, lonliness...and these emotions are exacerbated when we quit smoking.
     
    I knew that the restless feeling was a good thing...it reminded me I was winning the battle every single day.  I knew every day I was able to co-exist along with this restlessness...that it would make me stronger and that much closer to a relaxed place where I felt content and satisfied. 
     
    This newfound attitude is what got me through it.....one day at a time. Committing to NOPE.  No matter what..
     It also spilled over into helping me stay strong and take charge of my health in regards to my diet and regular exercise.  Just because I'm restless doesn't mean I'm hungry.  If I'm restless..then maybe I'm just thirsty...maybe I need to go for a run or a walk.  Maybe I need to call a friend and vent, maybe I'm horny, maybe I'm bored or tired....
    It helped me to be more in tune with my body and recognize exactly what I'm feeling so I am able to address the proper issue..and not try to "guess" what the problem is.
     
    Feeling restless??  Find out why....chances are..it's not a "craving" for nicotine. (especially true after Hell week)
     
    Non smokers get restless too....as a matter of fact, today I feel very restless and still haven't figured out why...one thing I am SURE of..is that I'm not craving a cigarette. 
     
    Now....on to figure out what exactly is it that has me feeling uneasy and aggravated....not sure yet but I will figure it out.  I have more oxygen in my brain these days so, things come to light much quicker for me now 
     
     
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/4389-restless/
     
  7. jillar

    The Pattern of the Journey

    By jillar,


    General
    beacon
     
    Posted March 5, 2015
     
    I was thinking about the first few months of my quit and how I posted on the boards quite alot. I posted about dizziness, stomach aches, craves and anger and and clear lungs and weight gain and feelings of sheer joy. The first month, the first drink, the first vacation, the first taste, the first drs appointment, Each of these were special, unique, important to me, my experience. The old phartes commented, comforted, celebrated, and laughed.
     
    What I didn't know at the time was that 1000+ nonsmokers before me had posted very similar comments at very same time frame during their own quits. Yet these were their own unique experiences. The old phartes helped in very similar ways.
     
    Tthere is a pattern , a standard journey of the quit that we all follow, experiencing the same thing as we journey. This means we can rely on the nonsmokers on the path ahead who tell us how it will be if we continue to travel. True release. True freedom. This is what they are telling us and we can believe it is true.
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/4682-the-pattern-of-the-journey/
     
  8. jillar

    You Need A Smoke ?

    By jillar,


    General
    Sazerac
    Quit Date: October 23, 2013, A Good Day to be Free.
     
    Posted July 31, 2016 
     
    All you quitters will remember this scenario, all you smokers don't have to live it anymore.
     
    "Man, gimme a smoke.  I just need a smoke.   Everything is just too much.  I need a smoke."
    "ahhh.  thanks, that's better."
     
    Really ? 
    What's better ? 
    The situation is still the same situation.  Nothing is better, things are just what they were. 
    The only thing that changed is you are chilled because you fed your addiction.  You are a good slave. An obedient Slave.
     
    What seems better is only an illusion....what was accomplished ? 
    You delayed withdrawal symptoms for another twenty minutes until the next crave.
    In twenty minutes or so, no matter what is going on...real crisis or no, 
    you will have another crisis, the need to feed your addiction again
    because you are a good slave, a very good slave.
    The Truth is you don't need that smoke. 
     
    You need to get a grip and stop your blind obedience to nicotine addiction. 
    Your body and mind need to remember how to live.
     
    Your body needs water, food, rest,
    deep delicious breaths of oxygen.
    You Need to be Free.
     
    Remember when you were Free ?
    Maybe you don't remember because addiction has hijacked your brain and your soul.
    No worries,  you WILL remember how to be free. 
    It's simple.  It's Freedom.
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/7355-you-need-a-smoke/
     
  9. jillar

    Are you thinking of quitting?

    By jillar,


    General
    Soberjulie
     
    Posted April 16, 2014 
     

     
    In other words, begin where you are.
    But begin.
    Please stop waiting.
    Sometimes delay can have very serious consequences. 
    As an addict I wanted the parade, the grand announcement, the regal launch, the ceremonial countdown, the press conference, the complete preparation with the guarantee of success before I thought I could start......before I could visualize what starting even looked like.
    Working through these things, waiting to make them happen, burns through precious time. And it is a trick.....a trick that addiction plays to keep us enslaved. 
    Begin where you are, but begin.
    If all you can do is crawl,
    start
    crawling.
    One moment at a time, if you don't pick up that cigarette you'll be up and dancing eventually.
    (Though at first, most of us tend to complain about the music a bit till we find our own rhythm, but that's okay too. It's just a mask for our fear of being judged for how we dance. Stay on the dance floor and that will fall away.) 
     
    Link to original post:  https://www.quittrain.com/topic/698-are-you-thinking-of-quitting/
     
  10. jillar

    Isolation Of A Widowed Smoker

    By jillar,


    General
    MarylandQuitter
    Quit Date: 10/07/2013
     
    Posted August 2, 2014 
    This is sad, but it hit home for me.  Different circumstances and a generation gap, this was me.  How lonely I really was and smoking was never the friend I had thought it was.  This could be any one of us should we ever take another puff from one of those death sticks.
     
    Life had become a boring routine. She had just been going through the motions of maintaining a normal semblance of existence. Waking up, having a cigarette. Washing up and brushing her teeth, having a cigarette. Eating breakfast, having a cigarette. Doing some light cleaning, vacuuming, dusting, and having a cigarette. Watching a little television while having a cigarette. Preparing a sandwich for lunch, having a cigarette. Taking a short nap, waking up for a cigarette. Reading the newspaper, having a cigarette. Making a list of needed groceries, having a cigarette. Getting ready to do some light shopping, having a cigarette. Driving to the local market, having a cigarette. About to enter the store, but stopping to have a cigarette. Checking out at the cash register, leaving the store and having a cigarette. Going home and starting to prepare dinner, having a cigarette. Eating dinner, having a cigarette. Clearing the table and washing the dishes, having a cigarette. Watching a little television, having a couple of cigarettes. Washing up, brushing her teeth and getting dressed for bed, having a cigarette. Getting into bed, having a cigarette. Going to sleep.
     
    Ever since the loss of her husband many years ago, nothing in her normal daily existence seemed to give her life any meaning or any real happiness. Weeks would go by with her barely cracking a smile. Almost nothing seemed to bring her joy anymore. But this day was starting differently. After breakfast her phone rang. She ran for a cigarette. On the fourth ring she made it to the phone and picked up the receiver. It was her daughter. She lived only an hour away, but because of her career, her husband's schedule and the kid's school, soccer, piano, ballet lessons, etc., they only were able to visit occasionally. Well, to her pleasant surprise, she found out that they were coming on Saturday to spend the day.
     
    For the first time in weeks she seemed truly happy. As soon as she hung up the phone she grabbed for a cigarette. She had to start planning and preparing to see the kids. She called her beauty shop to make an afternoon appointment. When she hung up the phone she took a cigarette. She got dressed and ready to go shopping, and right before leaving, she took a cigarette. In the car driving to the store she hurriedly smoked two cigarettes for she knew she could not smoke while in the store. She hurriedly went up and down the aisles, with a certain bounce in her step for she was still so excited about the visit. When she left the store she hurried to her car and lit a cigarette. She went home, put away the groceries, prepared and ate a quick bite, smoked a cigarette and hurriedly left the house to be on time for her beauty shop appointment. While she was there she smoked and conversed with the other patrons, glowing as she told of her exciting weekend news.
     
    When she got home, she smoked a cigarette, and starting preparing a turkey for the big Saturday night meal. She smoked and ate, smoked and cooked and smoked and prepared for bed. One last cigarette and she slowly dozed off, happy and excited about the joy of the upcoming day.
     
    When she woke up she excitedly grabbed for her first cigarette. She got up and cleaned and brushed her teeth, and took another cigarette. She ate breakfast and smoked again. She started preparing her feast and smoked numerous cigarettes. Even though she was not conscious of the fact, she was smoking more than normal. Through years of conditioning she had learned that since she couldn't smoke when around the grandchildren she had better have plenty of nicotine in her system by the time they arrived. A little last minute cleaning, and cooking and smoking. She was ready.
     
    The door bell rings. She hurries to the door and opens it up. There is her family. Everyone is excited. She goes to kiss the youngest, who says "Oh grandma, you smell like an ashtray!" She was used to these comments, she loved him anyway. After 15 minutes of talking with all the kids and her daughter and son-in-law, she and her daughter go to the kitchen to work on the dinner. After a couple of hours she starts to feel the twinge for a cigarette. But she knows she can't smoke. The kids are running through the house vigorously. As the hours pass, her patience becomes strained. Too much noise she thinks to herself, boy, does she wish she could smoke a cigarette. She starts to complain of a minor headache. They decide they better eat early, grandma is seeming a little tired and a little hassled. They sit down to eat. The food is good and everyone is enjoying.
     
    But grandma seems to be feeling worse and worse. Four hours have passed and still no cigarette. After dinner they all decide grandma needs some rest and mutually everyone agrees they will leave early. She kisses them all good-bye and rushes them out. As the door closes she hurries to her pack and smokes three cigarettes in a row. She finally starts to feel better. She now sits down in a quiet empty room thinking how lonely she feels and how sad that they had to leave so soon. But at least she has her cigarettes. But it had been a long day. She washes up, brushes her teeth, gets dressed for bed, and has one last cigarette.
     
    Tomorrow would be another routine day.
     
    Joel
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/2168-isolation-of-a-widowed-smoker/
     
  11. jillar
    Nancy
    Quit Date: 07/07/2013
     
    Posted December 30, 2015 · IP 
     
    Doreen and I were talking, and realized our husbands are the same age, 66.  That is about the only thing they have in common.  I am going to tell you first about my husband, Dennis, and then Doreen will be along to tell you about Tony. Hopefully there are smokers who will read this who still have the opportunity to choose which husband and father they would like to be.
     
    Dennis is a never smoker.  At 66, he still works 40 hours a week.  He enjoys golf, and boating.  He maintains our home and houseboat.  As many of you know, this past year he and his 70 year old brother totally remodeled the upstairs of our home. They took the kitchen down to the studs and rebuilt (and Dennis was still working 40 hours each week).  Dennis recently walked his oldest daughter down the aisle with pride.  He loves life and has a wonderful laugh.  He takes medicine to control blood pressure and cholesterol, but is in great health otherwise.
     
    Doreen will tell you about Tony, soon. 
     
    Doreensfree
    Quit Date: 7 /8/2013
     
    Posted December 30, 2015 · 
    I carnt post pictures, but I'm sure Tony would not want you all to see how sick he looks...
    Tony has end stage emphysema... He smoked until he physically couldn't put a cigarette in his mouth and smoke it..
    It takes all the strength and breath he has ..to just get out of bed in the morning...with my help...
    After a rest...he needs my help to wash...shave..
    Chair lift gets him downstairs...gets settled in a chair..where he stays till we have a bedtime routine.
    Emergency ambulances ,and hospital is never too far away...lung infections are almost on going..
    Doctors fight to keep pneumonia at bay...
    Because his blood doesn't retain oxygen...he needs a machine 16 hours a day....
    Sleeping with the mask on and the machine going all night is only half of it...
    Tony relies on me for everything...as sooon as he tries to move ...he is breathless...
    I have watched him the last 14 years slowly get worse ,this is a very cruel illness.
    I have shortened this thread...I could write a book...
    Tony and I don't know just how bad this will get...we live our lives on a daily basis..
    If you are out there reading this...wanting to quit...please do it now..
    I thank Nancy ....brilliant idea..
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/6446-a-tale-of-two-husbandswhich-will-you-be/
     
  12. jillar

    Why a Quit Sticks.

    By jillar,


    General
    El Bandito
    Quit Date: 27/01/2014
     
    Posted November 5, 2014 
     
    Now then, let's be perfectly clear
     
    My only expertise is a little experience in smoking and quitting smoking. I have watched some videos, read some books and shared with some fellow quitters. I have zero medical experience or expertise, in fact I look away when they show operations on medical dramas. No knowledge whatsoever of brain chemistry. 
     
    There is some true expertise knocking around on the forum - and a lot of it is pinned to the top of the boards - this however is just me shooting the breeze, sharing some experience and some observations.
     
    People choose to quit smoking for a variety of reasons. Some of them are deeply tragic personal experiences. The loss or debilitation of a loved one for example. Some are scared into it. Some just make a rational decision.
     
    Some people quit Cold Turkey. Some use NRT. Some use acupuncture, hypnosis. Some use Vaping. Some read books.
     
    I believe that it matters not a jot why someone chooses to quit or how they quit.
     
    Allen Carr, Joel, all sort of people have said this many many times - I am amazed at how long it has taken me to truly understand it. (Quite a thick head :rolleyes: )
     
    One thing matters.
     
    Understanding the con.
     
    Every single one of us believed that we enjoyed smoking, that smoking gave us a benefit of some kind. Allen Carr covers this in depth - he calls it the key.
     
    We spent years convincing ourselves that we liked stinking, liked poisoning ourselves and those around us, liked impoverishing ourselves, liked being slaves to a drug addiction. Even when we stop - we yearn for the 'carefree' cigarette.
     
    BOLLOCKS!
     
    The moment that one realises that smoking does not give us any benefit and NEVER did, that it was all an elaborate con trick, then the Quit is done. It sticks.
     
    The con has worked for decades. People have made millions, no billions, of Dollars - and they continue to do so in the developing world.
     
    Perhaps the strongest testament to the power of the con - is that they are doing it again - and new generations of people are falling for it.
     
    "Here, take a strange looking pen shaped object, suck it and enjoy some vapour. Yes! Vapour. It's cool. Look you can have coffee flavoured vapour! To make the vapour even better, we have added a special ingredient called nicotine - this nicotine is brilliant as an insecticide, at fooling receptors in your brain and here is the real kicker.....nicotine is an absolute superstar at addicting you - guaranteeing that you personally will pay US a fortune for the rest of your life. 10% off if you buy an extra pack!"
     
    People are queuing up to suck this stuff in.
     
    I see them interviewed on TV
     
    "why are you vaping?"
     
    "it's kinda cool yaknow? Relaxes me innit. I enjoy it"
     
    Really? Sucking a pen is cool? You enjoy it? What the flavour? The coffee flavour? Here's an idea - HAVE A COFFEE!
     
     
     
     
    A quit fails because a little part of us clings onto the idea (an idea being pushed all around us) that smoking was enjoyable.
     
    It wasn't.
     
    It is a con.
     
    Understand this, really understand it and come to rely on it when you feel the siren call of a cigarette -  and whether your quit started a year ago, a month ago, yesterday, today or even tomorrow - your quit will stick.
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/3345-why-a-quit-sticks/
     
  13. jillar

    So Amazing

    By jillar,


    General
    NOPEster
    Quit Date: February 4, 2017
     
    Posted July 30, 2018 
     
    Here I am visiting my sister in Norway for the first time as a non smoker. FYI my quit date was 2/5/17. I’ve never had such an easy time being a guest. My overseas flight over was enjoyable and stress free. I no longer constantly sneak off from the family for a cig. I can hike with the best of them. And I do not reek of smoke nor cough persistently. 
     
    I love my new independent life free from the nico-demon.  Best thing I ever did for myself. And I must remain ever so vigilant to keep and hold onto my precious quit. I’ve seen others in tourist areas here smoking and, just for a moment I’d like to have one too. But I say NOPE and think of the super folks on this forum and put that demon urge out of my mind. 
     
    If someone is reading this who is considering quitting, I truly hope you can go forward with your goal. It seemed such an impossible feat at first for me to quit but now I can look back on my hard work and see it wasn’t so bad because of ALL the great wonderful things I can do now. It’s so amazing how my new life as a non smoker is. 
     
     
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/10792-so-amazing/
     
  14. jillar

    My Friend Nick

    By jillar,


    General
    NADA
    Members
     
    Posted October 25, 2017 
     
    When I was thirteen years old this new kid, Nick, moved into my neighborhood.  At first I didn’t like him at all.  In fact, you could even say he made me sick.  But after a few weeks he started to grow on me and before you knew it we were hanging out daily.
     
    Nick seemed like the coolest kid on the planet…so much more mature than my childish peers.  And hanging out with him made me feel cool too.  Before long I found that I couldn’t stand being away from Nick.  Even for an hour.  My other friends were not impressed by Nick in the least.  They avoided me like the plague whenever he was around.
     
    Likewise, I found myself rejecting offers to do things with my friends because I didn’t want to be away from Nick for any extended period of time.  I just got too agitated and anxious.  As the years went by, I lived my life on Nick’s terms.  Whatever he wanted to do we did.  I no longer had any input.
     
    Nick always put me in extremely dangerous situations, but I felt powerless to contradict him.  This twisted relationship went on for decades.  I was allowing Nick to slowly, but inevitably, drag me to the precipice.
     
    One day I woke up hacking and coughing so violently I thought I was going to die.  Nick stood by my side with a blank smirk on his face.  I knew right then and there that he wasn’t going to help me.  He would let me wither away without a second thought.  Only I could help myself.
     
    So, on November 22, 2015 I kicked my friend Nick O. Demon to the curb and vowed never to hang out with him again.  My life, health, relationships and sense of well being have shot through the roof since I dumped that “friend”.  I do not miss him even one tiny bit.  Good riddance!
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/9243-my-friend-nick/
     
  15. jillar
    Cristóbal
    Quit Date: 14 October 2012
     
    Posted July 14, 2018 
     
    Posted on QSMB 22 Jan 2013 by JWG 
     
    THANK GOODNESS FOR CIGARETTES
     
    Those were the words written across the back of the mans T-shirt

    "really" I though, what and odd thing to have printed on to a shirt but to each there own , I suppose

    I did my best just to blow it off and go about morning,reading the news paper while having a cup of coffee . I dont stop in the cafe every morning , but for all intensive purposes I am a "regular" as the term goes. I am quite sure I have never seen this man here before. I certainly have never seen such a shirt.
    Trying to forget about his shirt I could see just was not going to happen , in fact I was getting quite worked up over it . How dare someone wear such a shirt. Granted I am one of thous re formed smokers that the world hates so.. Well I dont go around telling everyone they should quit smoking , But to say " thank goodness for cigarettes" why thats just wrong.
    Kids could read that and really think there missing out on something ,,,

    uuugh ,, I was getting really upset. My eyes went up and down this man and I studied each inch of him . My first thought he must be some bum / wino that could not live with out his precious cigarettes , the vile things they are.
    But after closer examination the fellow was in pretty good shape appently he was no staranger to the gym. His arms and back I could see were very muscular, in fact I would not want to mess with this guy at all. But dont take this as he looked to be a hooligan or crook , In fact I could see althou in jeans and boots he was a very well kept and neat . Minus the bit of dirt I noticed up along his triceps and on to one shoulder. His hair short sliver balding hair was very neat and trimmed standing out against the dark tan of his scalp and neck.
    hmm.... he certainly was no bum

    "oh dam" I thought to myself. I just knew I was going to have to say something to this man. Normally I
    stay to myself . a real "live and let live" sort. But this for some reason I could not let go. As I walked over to the his table I thought off all the possible thing to say. Not wanting to start off on the wrong foot and start a scene.
    when I got up to the table I eased around a bit so to be in front of him and said " good-morning , I noticed your t -shirt . I just have to ask why thank goodness for cigarettes ?" To my relief the man gave me a broad smile and said , "I love cigarettes . they put food on my table , money in my pockets. I drive a nice car and have two daughters in collage''.
    Oh - I looked quiziclaky You must work for one of those large tobacco companies , that explains it . I said
    Lord No the man chuckled ,, " Im a grave digger"
     
     
    In Memory of JWG - Reposted by Cristóbal
    JWG Died of Lung Cancer shortly before his 4 Year Anniversary, 6 weeks after his diagnosis
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/10731-jwg-post-thank-goodness-for-cigarettes-22-january-2013/
     
  16. jillar
    Many if not all smokers believe that smoking relieves stress.  It doesn't and in fact causes it.  Nicotine causes your heart rate to increase, your blood pressure to rise and sends adrenaline pulsing through your veins.  This happens each time you smoke a cigarette.  It's an illusion that smoking relieves stress because as smokers, we've conditioned ourselves to believe this. 
     
    Look at it this way.  After we put out a cigarette, the average smoker starts to experience mild withdrawal after approximately twenty minutes.  Most smokers don't even realize that they're in withdrawal but start to crave another cigarette to relieve the discomforts of withdrawal.  The cravings are a result of being in mild nicotine withdrawal which causes us some discomfort, makes us feel edgy, irritable etc., so when we light up another cigarette, we relieve those withdrawal symptoms and we feel better, for around 20 minutes or so.  Then once the dose of nicotine wears off, the withdrawal process starts all over again and we continue to feed the addiction and keep the cycle going.
     
    So it's only natural for us to add 2+2 and come up with 7 because we've believed the lie that smoking relieves stress when in fact all it does is relieve the withdrawal symptoms (which are stressful) caused by smoking in the first place.  We're using the same drug to try and fix the problem that started this whole process when we became nicotine addicts.  So when things in life upset us, we automatically think that smoking will calm us down or help us cope with whatever it is that we're dealing with because that's the illusion smoking provides. 
     
    The truth is that smoking causes stress.  It's impossible that it can calm us down because of the effects it has on our heart rate, blood pressure and the release of adrenaline, which by the way is produced whenever we're experiencing a stressful situation or a period of extreme excitement.  Nicotine is causing all of this when we smoke.
     
    Stress is a normal part of life and so is feeling extremely stressed or excited.  Imagine that feeling of fight or flight (caused by the release of adrenaline which causes your blood pressure to increase, heart rate to increase etc.) as your body readies itself for whatever it is that's in front of you.  Now imagine smoking a cigarette at this time.  It can only further elevate your heart rate, blood pressure etc.  It has the opposite effect of something that can calm you or relieve stress.  Adrenaline is awesome.  It's what makes us survive and thrive at certain things.  But relieve stress or calm us down?  Impossible.
     
    Once we stop smoking we're better equipped to deal with life and all the joys, pleasures, boredom and stress that it brings.  Smoking actually ruins our peaceful moments in life by causing our adrenal glands to prepare us for "fight or flight" and escalates the stressful times by doing the same. 
     
    When we smoke, are we ever really experiencing all that life has to offer us?  Are we even capable of living in the "Now" and protecting our much needed down time to recharge?  Are we able to meditate or stop the chatter or chaos that so often fills our minds and consumes our thoughts?  Can we experience the calming effects of a still mind and body?
     
    The other evening it was around 4°F with a wind chill of -10°F.  The moon was giving off just enough light that I could see the trees and sky through my windows.  I was laying on the couch in front of the windows and was completely relaxed. It was quiet and as I released all of the stresses, to-do-lists and thoughts of what tomorrow might bring; my mind was still and quiet.  The chatter was gone as there would be time for all that later.  But for those 30 minutes, my mind was still and all the stressful thoughts were gone.  This allowed my body to relax and just enjoy "The Now" for there will never, ever be another moment exactly the same.  I want to experience all of those "Now" moments that I can.
     
    Smoking and constant withdrawal would have never allowed me to experience this inner state of peace and quiet.  Never again will smoking take away these much needed quiet times that allow me to grow and be the best that I can be for myself and my daughter for without her, I cannot experience all that life has for me, just for Now.
     
    I Smoke Because I Like Smoking
    This video discusses how people who often say the smoke because they like smoking can come to realize that they really smoke because they don't like not smoking.
     
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCkt_ajgTQE
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/4504-is-smoking-stopping-you-from-experiencing-all-that-life-has-to-offer-marylandquitter/
     
  17. jillar

    Summer's Here - Have a Plan

    By jillar,


    General
    reciprocity
     
    Posted June 30, 2017 
     
    Over the next week we have Canada Day on July 1st and Independence Day in the U.S., July 4th. That means lots of parties with friends and relatives. Time to celebrate summer and rightly so!
     
    Just have a plan in advance for how you will handle these get together occasions if they are your first since quitting. You deserve to have a good time but you need to think about what the dangers might be to you so you can avoid them. There will be drinking and some people will be smoking so just give it some thought before hand so you know what you need to do to maintain your quit.
     
    Myself; I look forward to these occasions so I can tactfully work into conversation that I have quit smoking. I'm proud of what I've done and I know some smokers will envy what I've been able to do because they haven't taken the first step yet like we have. A few beers doesn't effect me negatively but it does for some. You have to know what YOUR triggers are and plan around them.
     
    There's been more than a few quits lost due to alcohol and smokers unexpectedly offering up a cigarette. Just think about it in advance and have a plan on what YOU need to do to maintain your quit. I sincerely hope you all enjoy your smokeless holidays!!.
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/8791-summers-here-have-a-plan/
     
  18. jillar

    My Cigarette, My friend......

    By jillar,


    General
    Soberjulie
     
    Posted April 16, 2014 
     
    How do you feel about a friend who has to go everywhere with you?
    Not only does he tag along all the time, but since he is so offensive and vulgar, you become unwelcome when with him.
    He has a peculiar odor that sticks to you wherever you go.
    Others think both of you stink.
    He controls you totally. When he says jump, you jump.
    Sometimes in the middle of a blizzard or storm, he wants you to come to the store and pick him up.
    You would give your spouse hell if he or she did that to you all the time, but you can't argue with your friend.
    Sometimes, when you are out at a movie or play he says he wants you to go stand in the lobby with him and miss important scenes. Since he calls all the shots in your life, you go.
    Your friend doesn't like your choice of clothing either. Instead of politely telling you that you have lousy taste, he burns little holes in these items so you will want to throw them out.
    Sometimes, he tires of the furniture and gets rid of it too.
    Occasionally, he gets really nasty and decides the whole house must go.
    He gets pretty expensive to support. Not only is his knack of property destruction costly, but you must pay to keep him with you.
    In fact, he will cost you thousands of dollars over your lifetime. And you can count on one thing, he will never pay you a penny in return.
    Often at picnics you watch others playing vigorous activities and having lots of fun doing them. But your friend won't let you. He doesn't believe in physical activity. In his opinion, you are too old to have that kind of fun. So he kind of sits on your chest and makes it difficult for you to breathe. Now you don't want to go off and play with other people when you can't breathe, do you?
    Your friend does not believe in being healthy.
    He is really repulsed by the thought of you living a long and productive life.
    So, every chance he gets he makes you sick. He helps you catch colds and flu. Not just by running out in the middle of the lousy weather to pick him up at the store. He is more creative than that. He carries thousands of poisons with him which he constantly blows in your face. When you inhale some of them, they wipe out cilia in your lungs which would have helped you prevent these diseases.
    But colds and flu are just his form of child's play.
    He especially likes diseases that slowly cripple you - like emphysema. He considers this disease great. Once he gets you to have this, you will give up all your other friends, family, career goals, activities - everything. You will just sit home and caress him, telling him what a great friend he is while you desperately gasp for air.
    But eventually your friend tires of you. He decides he no longer wishes to have your company.
    Instead of letting you go your separate ways, he decides to kill you. He has a wonderful arsenal of weapons behind him. In fact, he has been plotting your death since the day you met him. He picked all the top killers in society and did everything in his power to ensure you would get one of them. He overworked your heart and lungs. He clogged up the arteries to your heart, brain, and every other part of your body. In case you were too strong to succumb to this, he constantly exposed you to cancer causing agents. He knew he would get you sooner or later.
    Well, this is the story of your "friend," your cigarette. No real friend would do all this to you. Cigarettes are the worst possible enemies you ever had. They are expensive, addictive, socially unacceptable, and deadly. Consider all this and - NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF!
     
    Joel
    © Joel Spitzer 1990
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/709-my-cigarette-my-friend/
     
  19. jillar

    For anyone that is struggling

    By jillar,


    General
    Sunnyside 
    Quit Date: 02/01/22
     
    Posted August 24, 2015 
     
    I thought I would put my thoughts out here today, my pointers that may help someone out there. If it helps at least one person then I will be happy.

    When I started out on this quit journey I had no confidence at all that I could pull this off. That this quit would probably go the same as all the others did, a DISASTER I always felt that smoking was apart of who I was. That is how people know me! I couldn't change surely. I went for it anyway because I knew deep down that I should. I was never a 100% about it and for a long time I thought it was a temporary thing, it was more a question of how long I would last? Than would I make it. The years of trying just kept knocking my confidence more and more.

    I join a forum which I had never done before, not even for anything else. I'm not the sort of person that would ever do a group session, I was the one in school that would sit in the corner all quiet. The support helped immensely and each day I would get up and say to myself I WILL NOT SMOKE TODAY Then keep ticking off the days. The days started turning into weeks, then months, then a year. Gradually things started to get easier BUT also something was gradually changing inside me too. I was starting to look at things differently. I had changed from someone that wasn't sure weather she wanted to quit to someone that no longer wanted to smoke. Someone that really doesn't see want all the fuss is anymore, that can see this addiction for what it really is.

    Let me just say that their is nothing special about me. I have hardly any will power at all! so if I can do it then anybody can. I know that is a cliché but you all have it in you to do this. Well I have gone on for long enough here is my list of tips.

    HALT - Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired

    Before reaching for a cigarette think is it a crave or is it something else prompting that trigger. Because our brain rewire their selves as you keep smoking to suit with the addiction when you stop it is very hard to tell the difference. So maybe you are hungry or thirsty, need a nap, stressed. STOP For a minute a think is it something else.

    IT DOES GET EASIER

    The withdrawals do not last for ever! The physical side of the addiction last about 3 weeks. If you suffer from anxiety is seems to take a bit longer, but know matter how your quit goes it gets better for everyone eventually. No one could beat off the early withdrawal forever and their are more and more people quitting. It can be done.

    ROMANCING A CIGARETTE

    This is the what can only be described as false memories. You will go through triggers throughout the year. The sunshine, going out drinking even sitting down in the morning having a cup of tea. There are times for all of us were we have trained our brains to think that not only did we enjoy a cigarette when being/doing those events but we can not cope with doing these thing without smoking or we would be miserable without one, that we are depriving our selves of something pleasurable. REMEMBER THAT STATMENT How can that be right?!?

    DEEP BREATHES

    Instead of reaching for a cigarette when the craving are bad or when you are stress, take yourself some where quiet and take some deep breathes in for a couple of minutes. A craving only lasts for about 3 mins, so if you can take yourself away and just breathe deep for those 3 mins it will pass.

    KNOWLEDGE IS POWER

    Read as much information as possible, know your enemy and educate yourself. The information here is priceless but their is also such a wealth of information at your finger tips these days, so use it. If you can change your mind set in to the illusion of smoking it will help you understand what is happening.

    CELEBRATE YOUR MILESTONES

    This really worked for me and gave me my new goal everytime I completed one. It also gave me somewhere to share how proud I was with me self. Early in your quit it is a good idea to reward yourself it doesn't have to be expensive just something to focus on.

    HAVE NO FEAR

    One of the biggest reasons people don't quit is FEAR The fear that you are going to be miserable all the time that as you watch others smoke that you will always feel like you are missing out. Don't be scared! This will change on it's own eventually, there is a better life out there. The sense of freedom really is worth it. Now I can life my life how I want to, not scurrying around try to fit in a cigarette wherever I go, I'm no longer stress because I am in a place where I can not smoking and I am dying for one. I don't feel self conscious when I am out because I can see the sly looks people are giving me. I'M FREEEEEE!!!!!

    I hope this will help someone in their plight to be fag free. Their is a saying around these parts ONWARDS AND UPWARDS Just keep putting one foot forward and you will make your goal.
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/5873-for-anyone-that-is-struggling/
     
  20. jillar
    Ladybug
    Posted April 9, 2014 
     
    I have no idea where I got this from, but it's in my quit diary and I thought I share it with you guys!
     
    As to silencing the inner voice:
     
    The secret is a repeated conscious choice. If you draw a saw across a log one time, you may make a scratch in the bar. If you draw it across the log a few more times you may scratch the surface of the wood.
     
    If you keep drawing the saw across the same place on the log, the scratch will get deeper, until it becomes a cut, then a groove....
     
    If you keep on drawing the saw across the log, beyond counting the number of times, eventually you'll draw it clear through to the other side.
     
    Every morning you get up and consciously choose not to smoke today, you're drawing the saw across the log....keep doing that...and you'll reach the other side.
     
    Keep sawing!!!
     
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/429-how-to-silence-the-inner-voice/
     
  21. jillar
    Aine
    Quit Date: 2-26-2014
     
    Posted April 17, 2014 
     
    I love this bit by John Polito on the nature of a relapse; I need the reiteration of some of these basic ideas of addiction and the dangers of romanticizing the smoke.
     
    "Just one rule - “No nicotine today!”

    There are hundreds of quitting books with millions of words and scores of quick-fix magic cures promising near painless and sure-fire success.   There is but one principle that affords a 100% guarantee of success to all adhering to it ... “No nicotine today.” 

    While the Brandon and Boreland studies afford the junkie-mind an ever so slight amount of wiggle-room on the violation side of “The Law,” there is zero wiggle-room for those of us who fully take it to heart.  It is impossible to fail so long as no nicotine enters our bloodstream.  If we want to live nicotine-free then why toy with horrible odds? 

    The Final Truth

    Assume for a moment that we made it!  We learned how to remain patient during the few minutes a crave episode clamored for compliance.   We knocked them dead.   We stuck with it for the full 72 hours it took to empty our blood, brain and body of all nicotine.  At last we were clean!  Our healing and glory continued for the roughly two to three weeks it took for our mind to adjust to chemically functioning without nicotine and all the other chemicals that arrived with it.  We confronted and extinguished all but our remote, infrequent or seasonal subconscious crave triggers, and tasted that very first day of total and complete comfort where we never once thought about wanting to use nicotine. 

    But still, we have days where our mind becomes occupied with thoughts of lighting a fire between our lips, or of chewing “nicotiana tabacum” (the tobacco plant’s biological name) or of a quick dip in nicotine’s pond.  Years of hard to suppress dopamine “aaah” replenishment memories keep teasing us. 

    How does the recovering, rationalizing or bargaining mind’s vision of what it would be like to just once more use nicotine, compare with the realities that occur during relapse?

    Recall that the 1990 Brandon study examined lapse and relapse in smokers who’d successfully completed a two-week stop smoking program.  The study also documented the primary emotion felt immediately following smoking nicotine.

    Assume that at two weeks into recovery, each who lapsed during the Brandon study had already succeeded in fully navigating physical withdrawal.  Assume that their brains had almost fully re-sensitized.  Reflect on the fact that the addict’s sense of “nicotine normal” no longer existed.  By that I mean, there was no chemical missing, nothing in need of replenishment, the number of acetylcholine receptors had fully down-regulated, and their brain’s sense of homeostasis had been fully restored.  So what was their prime emotion following relapse?

    The vast majority had a negative reaction.  Among them, 13% felt depressed and hopeless, 33% experienced anxiety and tension, 16% were angry and irritated, and 12% felt boredom or fatigue.   Only 3.6% reported what most of us would have expected following normal replenishment, which was “feeling relaxed.”

    Although some of us hated bondage, there is no denying that each nicotine fix brought relief from falling blood nicotine levels that were beginning to deprive us of a level of dopamine to which we'd grown accustomed.  Each nicotine fix played a vital role in restoring us to a relaxed level of comfort upon which we had each come to depend.

    Chronic nicotine use creates its own artificial sense of normalcy, an addiction comfort level. Yes, each fix brought the addict in us a true sense of comfort (from the pains of our own addiction) and yes, most of those memories still remain.  However, one important thing has changed: our brain no longer has a chemical need for nicotine. 

    If we visit online quitting forums and dig back through messages describing relapses that occurred beyond week two, most will have a common ring to them.  They read like this, "I had a mouth full of smoke, I was dizzy and I coughed, but I didn’t get the sense of satisfaction I expected. It just didn’t come!" 

    The thousands of enticing memories in their mind expected a sense of "aaah" relief from wanting.   But their body and mind had already adjusted to life without nicotine.  There was no need for replenishment as nothing was missing.  The take it or leave it feeling in no way matched the relief felt when satisfying dopamine pathway want.  The need to use just wasn’t there.   Unlike when those old want satisfaction “aaah” memories were created, there was nothing missing, no withdrawal induced anxieties or depression, and nothing that needed replenishing.

    Without realizing it, while their conscious mind simply tinkered with the prospect of functioning without nicotine, their body and brain were on a path of real and significant physical healing.   Falsely convinced of the need for nicotine in order to feel normal, while they briefly paused in using it, they did not embrace the prospect of life without it.   They longed for what was left behind, blamed every healing sensation on its absence, and in doing so transformed a culprit into a cure.   So, with great expectations they took that first puff; expectations now shattered. "
     
     
     
    Exerpt from a free pdf book by Polito JR entitled 
    "Freedom from Nicotine - The Journey Home" 
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/756-just-one-rule-“no-nicotine-today”/
     
  22. jillar
    I started smoking when I was in my early teens and continued off and on for the next 28 years.  During that period there were a couple of quits which lasted several years.  My last major attempt at quitting smoking was in 2005 in which I was able to stay smoke-free for just under 6 years.  In 2011, I made the decision to throw my quit away one evening when I was in a stressful situation and decided that smoking a cigarette would relax me.  When I took my first puff that evening I felt like I was home.  I wondered why I had even quit smoking at all in the first place.  I thought I enjoyed it and even thought to myself that smoking was the greatest thing on earth.  I had no regrets, only satisfaction.  I didn’t know a single thing about nicotine addiction and ignorantly believed all the lies.  I was a junkie.  No, not some junkie out on the street begging and stealing to feed my addiction but rather a well dressed professional with a wife and three wonderful children.  But make no mistake about it, I was a junkie just the same in need of a fix of nicotine to make everything better.  This one cigarette woke up my nicotine addiction and I continued to smoke for ~2 years. 
     
    In early December 2012 I went to see my Dr. about something unrelated and before I left I decided to mention that I wanted to quit smoking but enjoyed it too much.  I told him that I could quit if I really wanted to, I just didn’t want to.  I told him that I wanted to quit smoking for my family because they meant everything to me and I knew that the cigarettes would eventually catch up with me if I didn’t quit for good.
     
    In a nutshell, he told me I was full of shit.  He told me that my family wasn’t the most important thing in my life, cigarettes were.  He also went on to tell me that I was an addict to which I laughed and said “you’re telling me that I’m an addict because I’m smoking tobacco?  It’s not like I’m shooting heroin or snorting cocaine.”  He chuckled to himself and said “you’re the exact definition of an addict and the only reason why you’re not out on the streets stealing to feed your addiction is because cigarettes are legal.”  I was mad as I sat there.  How could this man say these things to me?  I really do enjoy smoking.  I sat and I listened.  He gave me a prescription for Wellbutrin XL to help me quit smoking.  I told him that I didn’t need any medication to quit smoking and he informed me that I had been smoking for nearly 28 years with several failed attempts at quitting and whatever I was doing was not working.
     
    After about 5 days the medication started to work to the point that after 2 or 3 pulls on a cigarette, I would get sick to my stomach and be on the verge of puking.  Still, I lit one cigarette after another hoping that the nausea would not last, but it did and finally on December 17, 2012, I decided that I had enough and quit.  This time I stayed nicotine free for 9 months and was sure I would never smoke again.  I spent hour after hour, day after day reading everything I could about nicotine addiction.  I watched the documentaries about the evil tobacco companies (which are on this website and very good I might add), joined a support group online and was sure I had all the answers to staying quit for good.  But as things go, I relapsed again in September 2013 because of one reason; I still believed that the cigarette had something to offer me.
     
    After all of the reading and learning about nicotine addiction, none of it mattered because somewhere in the back of my mind I still believed in the cigarette.  Thankfully, my relapse was short-lived and lasted only 1 week and 1 pack of cigarettes.  What a shame it was to light the first of some 20 odd cigarettes after being smoke-free for ~9 months. 
     
    Those 9 months prior that I speak of, although smoke-free, I was still believing somewhere in the back of my mind that cigarettes could offer me something because of my triumphant reunion with them nearly two years prior.  It was all a big lie perpetuated by me.  When I bought that pack in October I thought it would help.  After reading Allen Carr’s book several times and being proactive for so many months, who was I kidding?  The only thing I got from it was emptiness.  It was at this moment and 19 cigarettes later that I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that cigarettes could not do a damn thing for me.  It took a one week relapse for me to 100% believe that no matter what happens in life, no matter how crappy I feel, cigarettes will not do anything.
     
    With each and every cigarette I analyzed how I felt.  From the very first pull on that cigarette I was ultra aware of how I was feeling.  I remembered Allen Carr.  I remembered the lies.  I remembered all the former smokers in the support group.  I recalled all I had read about this addiction.  I was still waiting for the enjoyment because I thought it really existed.  Not only did I not get one bit of enjoyment from any of it, but I also found out the hard way that there isn’t a single thing enjoyable about smoking.  It wasn’t until I truly understood that I got nothing from smoking that I willingly put the cigarettes down without any medication and without a second thought.
     
    However, close to the end of that week of smoking I could feel the addiction coming on strong.  Had I not chosen to quit smoking on October 7th, 2013, I feel that I would have fallen back into a full blown nicotine addiction and smoking 30-40 cigarettes per day as that was my usual routine.  I was probably just a few cigarettes away from this happening and it was scary to relive those feelings of being physically and mentally addicted to smoking constantly needing to feed the throngs of nicotine withdrawal.  This is not a place that I ever want to revisit.
     
    If you think that you enjoy smoking or that is somehow relaxes you, then you still think that smoking cigarettes can still offer you something of benefit.  This is romanticizing the cigarette, also known as junkie thinking, whether you want to believe it or not. Leaving this door open is dangerous because something will happen along the way that will allow the addiction to creep in and when you least expect it, you’ve relapsed.
     
    If you think that you enjoyed anything about smoking it means that you’re depriving yourself or giving up something that you enjoy when you quit smoking.  The worst case scenario is a relapse and the next worse thing is a constant battle.
     
    Someone once used drugs and sex was as an analogy to quitting smoking.  This is false and cannot be compared because sex and drugs such as heroin, are enjoyable the first time they are tried.  The first time many heroin users shoot up they loved it.  How many of us loved our first cigarette?  None.  Smoking is not enjoyable and so long as you believe that it is or was, you’re only making staying quit much harder than it needs to be.  Actually, quitting smoking can be enjoyable if you’re able to focus on your body and how it’s repairing itself.  Your lungs.  Your skin.  Your teeth.  The newly learned discipline that you’ve used because you never thought you could quit smoking, much less even wanted to quit.
     
    Lastly, a relapse doesn’t happen without first romancing or allowing junkie thinking to creep in.  No situation, as bad as it may be, will force you to smoke unless you’re still believing that you can get something from the cigarette.  Quitting smoking takes no action, only non-action.  Don’t ever take another puff.  Remember “N.O.P.E.” each and every day and make it a priority over life and all of it’s ups and downs.  Never smoke again. Not one puff, ever (N.O.P.E.).
     
    Copied from MarylandQuitters  About Me
     
  23. jillar

    Will i always miss smoking?

    By jillar,


    General
    Sunnyside
    Quit Date: 02/01/22
     
    Posted July 6, 2016 

    I found this article on another website and thought it may help someone here.

    By Terry Martin

    "I quit smoking seven months ago. I do feel better, and I don't struggle all of the time now, but I still have days when I find myself missing my cigarettes. I sometimes wish I could have just one now and then. At times, the urge to smoke is so intense. I wonder if I'll ever be free of this habit? Will I miss smoking forever?"

    Think for a moment of your life as a tightly woven piece of fabric.

    Each thread represents your life events and experiences, and running alongside the many "life" threads are threads of a finer gauge. They are so fine in fact, they're impossible to see with the naked eye. Those threads are your smoking habit, and they've become so thoroughly interwoven in the fabric of your life, you find you can't do anything without thinking about how smoking will fit into it.

    The associations that we build up over time between the activities in our lives and smoking are closely knit. Once you quit smoking, the job becomes one of unraveling those smoking threads, or associations, one by one. How does that happen? And how long does it take?

    Recovery from nicotine addiction is a process of gradual release over time.

    Practice Makes Perfect

    Every smoke-free day you complete is teaching you how to live your life without cigarettes. Bit by bit, you're reprogramming your responses to the daily events that trigger the urge to smoke.

    The more practice you get, the less cravings will plague you. Over the course of your first smoke-free year, you'll encounter and have a chance to clear most of the events and situations in your daily life that you associate with smoking.

    Seasonal Smoking Triggers

    Some smoking triggers are seasonal in nature and can create strong smoking urges months into your quit program.

    For instance, if you quit smoking during the winter and you're an avid gardener, you could find yourself craving a smoke break the first time you're out digging in the dirt the following spring. Thoughts of smoking related to the seasons may hit you with an intensity you haven't felt in months. Don't worry. Once you make your way through the trigger smoke-free, it will let go and you can move on.

    The first year is all about firsts...experiencing the many daily events in your life smoke free for the first time. And it's all about practice. You built your smoking habit through years of practice. Now, build the nonsmoking you the same way. Practice is a necessary part of recovery from nicotine addiction, so try to relax and let time help you. The more of it you put between yourself and that last cigarette you smoked, the stronger you'll become.

    Work on Your Attitude

    There's another step in finding permanent freedom from nicotine addiction that is just as important as practice and time.

    It involves your attitude. I'm sure you've heard about people who still struggle years and years after quitting. They're the ones who say they "still miss smoking" 20 years down the road. That's a frightening thing to hear, but don't let it throw you. The reason they are in that position has to do with the fact that they never did the work to change what cigarettes meant to them.

    Along with using patience and time to help you reprogram your associations with smoking, you must also alter the way you think about your cigarettes. The path to permanent freedom has to do with changing the relationship you have to smoking, and the way to make that mental shift is through education.

    As the saying goes...

    Knowledge is Power...

    ...and it's the truth when it comes to recovering from nicotine addiction. Educate yourself by reading everything you can find about how tobacco harms us from head to toe. It will open your eyes, but more importantly, it will help you start to change the meaning that cigarettes have for you. Once you do that, the mental chains of this addiction will begin to break down for good. You'll truly be free, and believe me, it's a great place to be.

    Be patient with yourself and allow for as much time as you need to heal from this addiction. There is no set formula for recovery; we're all unique in how we move through the process.

    Read about nicotine addiction and do the work to change the way you perceive cigarettes. They are instruments of death. They deserve nothing more than your disdain.

    Don't look at quitting tobacco as a sacrifice. You're not giving up anything of value. Your quit program is a gift. Change your attitude and you'll find your freedom.

    Cessation is doable, and your precious life is worth the work it takes to achieve.

    If You Want to Change Your Life, Change Your Mind.
     
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/7257-will-i-always-miss-smoking/
     
  24. jillar

    KNOCK KNOCK

    By jillar,


    General
    Cristóbal
    Quit Date: 14 October 2012
     
     
    Posted on QSMB Dec 17 2013 by JWG
     
    When my son was young he would walk to the end of the drive to wait for the school bus. I would stand at the bay window off the side nook of our home where I could look down the drive and watch until he safely got on board.  Sounding like a good father this may be. But in actuality I found I enjoyed the heat off the glass and watching the life outdoors from the birds to the ever changing leaves of the seasons. Here I would smoke my morning cigarette. It wasn’t long I had moved a small bench near the window so I could sit and be a bit more comfortable And take in a bit more of my surroundings. I bought a nice brass ashtry on a stand to place next to my bench and would bring in my newspaper into the nook ., By the following year I came to realize  It wasn’t much of a bench or that comfortable, So I decided to have some work done to the room and to the window I had a much better built in bench placed into the wall almost making me like a cat sitting on a lagre comfy ledge over looking the world , searching for his pray, like that fat robin I watch in the mornings searching out a nice fat worm.
     
    On day while peering down the drive , watching , waiting for my son to board the bus, I noticed a shadowy figure standing off to his side. I would not say it a ghost or man, just an odd shadowy figure,, quite perplex this left me , almost to the point of quizzy, what was this figure ,, what was it doing out there ?
     
    For the next few mornings to weeks perhaps months I would watch with an unsettling intent ,, always wondering , what was this figure,  a shadow from a limb or tree ?
    In the afternoons if I were to walk to the end of the drive never was there any evidence of such a figure, questioning my son , was always the same “ your crazy” he would
    Say. But No I was not crazy ,, I saw what I saw and what I saw was a real as you and me.
     
    As the years past , I began to come to terms with the  figure at the end of the drive , I knew well whatever it was meant my son no harm. But still each day I found myself looking out the window.. Years would pass , no longer did my son need a protective eye to watch him get on to the bus. But still each morning I went to the window for my morning coffee , cigarette and newspaper. Always peering
    down the drive slowly it was becoming obvious the figure had turned its sights to me,, no longer was I the watcher , but now the watchy. And with this the hair on the back of my neck stood up,
     
    Schools years would come and go, Jason would be moving in the fall to attend collage  and I found my self remolding more and more I had moved my study down into nook , moved a side wall expanding the nook itself allowing me more room, I worked from home and really found with these accommodations I was just fine, plus saving me time from going up and down the stairs so much.
     At once this shadowy figure a bit of amusement now each day an every growingly obsession, a looming haunt always in the back of my mind. Never was it different from one day to the next , but over the years it was easy to see this was a man in grim black suit complete with over coat and hat.
    For years I asked visitors that would stop by , “what they thought of the man at the end of my drive ?” always to be givng the same response “ Still on that kick” so in time I stoped asking , I came to except it was only myself that could see him. But as a say , what I saw , I saw , and he was real. As real as you or I.
     
     
    By the second year Jason had moved out , my work had slowed down. To save some money on heating and other bills I pretty much moved myself completely into the nook , which now was more like a tiny apt. I had a small bed and fridge a microwave, my coffee pot . Sure I would still make it threw the maze the rest of the down stairs had become to make it into the kitchen if need be. But for the most part I was fine in my cubby.
     
    With less work these days I found myself spending  more on my bench smoking my cigarettes watching my mystery man in black. With the difference being now slowly I could see he was approaching the house. Not each day could I notice, but slowly, ever so slowly he was making his way down the drive.
     
    Until the morning I woke to look out the window and there he stood straight across the drive. I knew then , right then.. Who had come calling ! His eyes were hallow as if none were there at all. His face a slunken gray like dead skin draped across a skelton . No longer was his black suit of fine linen now a grab  more like canvas with a hood from the top of his head dragging past his feet. No more then I peered into his sullun face, he turned abruptly proceeding down the drive. I knew with out a doubt . His next stop was the front door.
     
    Dizzzy, breathless, my knees week ,, I stammered back, the back of my knees hit a recliner I had set up.
     
    nto which I fell. Sitting there now lost reality was gone ,, where was I ? what was going on ? what had I done ? I reached for a cigarette to comfort me , to guide me, to give me answers.
     
    And there I sat and smoked . Looking down on to my cracked and dried skin, stained yellow from years of tar and nicotine. I saw all the answers I was looking for.
     
    With my own two hands I molded my own death , from once only a shadowy figure at the end of my drive to a creature from the underworld. I forged my own end, one cigarette at a time. One day after another ,one year after another, all the while knowing death was monitoring my every move. Why did I not stop? I could have quit ,millions do it every day. Why did I not run from this house? was I blind, a fool ? Or  an addict appeasing  myself,  to avoid the discomforts of nicotine withdrawal…
     
    *rasp*rasp*rasp*
     
    The cold steal of his scythe rattles the front glass…
     
     
    In Memory of JWG - Reposted by Cristóbal
    JWG Died of Lung Cancer shortly before his 4 Year Anniversary, 6 weeks after his diagnosis.
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/10729-jwg-post-knock-knock-dec-17-2013/
     
  25. jillar
    In honor of Quit Train's anniversary the first post written by our founder MarylandQuitter......
     
    MarylandQuitter
    Administrators
    Quit Date: 10/07/2013
     
    Posted March 28, 2014 
     
    Remove the desire to smoke and you will never smoke again.  Practice on removing the desire to smoke until you firmly believe that you get nothing from it.  Until then, use your smoking addiction to help you quit smoking.  That’s right, you read correctly.  You, me and millions more rationalized smoking even though we knew the consequences.  Use those same veteran rationalization skills to rationalize quitting smoking.  Think about that for a minute.  If we could rationalize smoking knowing full well the damaging effects it had on our health, why can’t we rationalize quitting smoking knowing full well the health benefits of quitting?
     
    Based from my experience, the most important attribute to a successful quit, which is a non burdensome quit, is to remove the desire to smoke by understanding and believing that the cigarette has nothing to offer.  This and only this will allow for a lifetime of freedom and never leave you feeling like you’re giving something up or missing out by living life as a non-smoker.
     
    So many have relapsed and so many more are too afraid to quit smoking because of all the horror stories they’ve heard about nicotine withdrawal when you quit.  That horror only exists in our minds, if we let it.  Of course we’ll have mild withdrawal and mental triggers that may cause cravings, but they’re far from horrific and certainly nothing more than we’ve already experienced.
     
    Quitting smoking is not hard.  In fact, the whole process is quite enjoyable if we only focus on the benefits of being a non-smoker.  There is no need to focus on anything else because we’re not giving anything up.   We’re not missing out.  The cravings come and go and soon will be gone forever.  Even while we were smoking, the unwavering loyalty of our body was trying to heal itself while we kept poisoning it.  It never gave up on us despite that we were putting things in our mouths and setting them on fire to feed our addiction.  Once we quit smoking, our bodies take a huge sigh of relief and work overtime to make up for lost time and starts healing and repairing the damage that we caused it.
     
    The easy part for some is the initial quit while for others it’s staying quit.  Ask 10 people and the answers will vary.  The reality is that everyone can quit smoking and stay that way.  If you’re finding it difficult to stay quit it’s because you think the cigarette still has something to offer you.  This is why I relapsed.  This is why others’ invariably relapse.
     
    Never give up and just continue to remove the desire to smoke by knowing with every ounce of who you are that the cigarette offers you nothing.  It can’t do a thing for you.  It’s impossible that it can relieve stress, doesn’t taste good and certainly is no reward.  Some get this right away.  Others, like myself, it took a little longer.  But now that I know this, the desire to smoke has been successfully removed and although I still get a trigger here and there (just part of being a nicotine addict), I know it won’t do a damn thing for me.  You can get there too.  Never, ever stop striving to get there.  Never smoke again. Not one puff, ever (N.O.P.E.).
     
     

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QuitTrain®, a quit smoking support community, was created by former smokers who have a deep desire to help people quit smoking and to help keep those quits intact.  This place should be a safe haven to escape the daily grind and focus on protecting our quits.  We don't believe that there is a "one size fits all" approach when it comes to quitting smoking.  Each of us has our own unique set of circumstances which contributes to how we go about quitting and more importantly, how we keep our quits.

 

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