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jillar

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  1. jillar
    Cristóbal
    Quit Date: 14 October 2012
     
    Posted July 14, 2018 
     
    Posted on QSMB 22 Jan 2013 by JWG 
     
    THANK GOODNESS FOR CIGARETTES
     
    Those were the words written across the back of the mans T-shirt

    "really" I though, what and odd thing to have printed on to a shirt but to each there own , I suppose

    I did my best just to blow it off and go about morning,reading the news paper while having a cup of coffee . I dont stop in the cafe every morning , but for all intensive purposes I am a "regular" as the term goes. I am quite sure I have never seen this man here before. I certainly have never seen such a shirt.
    Trying to forget about his shirt I could see just was not going to happen , in fact I was getting quite worked up over it . How dare someone wear such a shirt. Granted I am one of thous re formed smokers that the world hates so.. Well I dont go around telling everyone they should quit smoking , But to say " thank goodness for cigarettes" why thats just wrong.
    Kids could read that and really think there missing out on something ,,,

    uuugh ,, I was getting really upset. My eyes went up and down this man and I studied each inch of him . My first thought he must be some bum / wino that could not live with out his precious cigarettes , the vile things they are.
    But after closer examination the fellow was in pretty good shape appently he was no staranger to the gym. His arms and back I could see were very muscular, in fact I would not want to mess with this guy at all. But dont take this as he looked to be a hooligan or crook , In fact I could see althou in jeans and boots he was a very well kept and neat . Minus the bit of dirt I noticed up along his triceps and on to one shoulder. His hair short sliver balding hair was very neat and trimmed standing out against the dark tan of his scalp and neck.
    hmm.... he certainly was no bum

    "oh dam" I thought to myself. I just knew I was going to have to say something to this man. Normally I
    stay to myself . a real "live and let live" sort. But this for some reason I could not let go. As I walked over to the his table I thought off all the possible thing to say. Not wanting to start off on the wrong foot and start a scene.
    when I got up to the table I eased around a bit so to be in front of him and said " good-morning , I noticed your t -shirt . I just have to ask why thank goodness for cigarettes ?" To my relief the man gave me a broad smile and said , "I love cigarettes . they put food on my table , money in my pockets. I drive a nice car and have two daughters in collage''.
    Oh - I looked quiziclaky You must work for one of those large tobacco companies , that explains it . I said
    Lord No the man chuckled ,, " Im a grave digger"
     
     
    In Memory of JWG - Reposted by Cristóbal
    JWG Died of Lung Cancer shortly before his 4 Year Anniversary, 6 weeks after his diagnosis
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/10731-jwg-post-thank-goodness-for-cigarettes-22-january-2013/
     
  2. jillar
    Many if not all smokers believe that smoking relieves stress.  It doesn't and in fact causes it.  Nicotine causes your heart rate to increase, your blood pressure to rise and sends adrenaline pulsing through your veins.  This happens each time you smoke a cigarette.  It's an illusion that smoking relieves stress because as smokers, we've conditioned ourselves to believe this. 
     
    Look at it this way.  After we put out a cigarette, the average smoker starts to experience mild withdrawal after approximately twenty minutes.  Most smokers don't even realize that they're in withdrawal but start to crave another cigarette to relieve the discomforts of withdrawal.  The cravings are a result of being in mild nicotine withdrawal which causes us some discomfort, makes us feel edgy, irritable etc., so when we light up another cigarette, we relieve those withdrawal symptoms and we feel better, for around 20 minutes or so.  Then once the dose of nicotine wears off, the withdrawal process starts all over again and we continue to feed the addiction and keep the cycle going.
     
    So it's only natural for us to add 2+2 and come up with 7 because we've believed the lie that smoking relieves stress when in fact all it does is relieve the withdrawal symptoms (which are stressful) caused by smoking in the first place.  We're using the same drug to try and fix the problem that started this whole process when we became nicotine addicts.  So when things in life upset us, we automatically think that smoking will calm us down or help us cope with whatever it is that we're dealing with because that's the illusion smoking provides. 
     
    The truth is that smoking causes stress.  It's impossible that it can calm us down because of the effects it has on our heart rate, blood pressure and the release of adrenaline, which by the way is produced whenever we're experiencing a stressful situation or a period of extreme excitement.  Nicotine is causing all of this when we smoke.
     
    Stress is a normal part of life and so is feeling extremely stressed or excited.  Imagine that feeling of fight or flight (caused by the release of adrenaline which causes your blood pressure to increase, heart rate to increase etc.) as your body readies itself for whatever it is that's in front of you.  Now imagine smoking a cigarette at this time.  It can only further elevate your heart rate, blood pressure etc.  It has the opposite effect of something that can calm you or relieve stress.  Adrenaline is awesome.  It's what makes us survive and thrive at certain things.  But relieve stress or calm us down?  Impossible.
     
    Once we stop smoking we're better equipped to deal with life and all the joys, pleasures, boredom and stress that it brings.  Smoking actually ruins our peaceful moments in life by causing our adrenal glands to prepare us for "fight or flight" and escalates the stressful times by doing the same. 
     
    When we smoke, are we ever really experiencing all that life has to offer us?  Are we even capable of living in the "Now" and protecting our much needed down time to recharge?  Are we able to meditate or stop the chatter or chaos that so often fills our minds and consumes our thoughts?  Can we experience the calming effects of a still mind and body?
     
    The other evening it was around 4°F with a wind chill of -10°F.  The moon was giving off just enough light that I could see the trees and sky through my windows.  I was laying on the couch in front of the windows and was completely relaxed. It was quiet and as I released all of the stresses, to-do-lists and thoughts of what tomorrow might bring; my mind was still and quiet.  The chatter was gone as there would be time for all that later.  But for those 30 minutes, my mind was still and all the stressful thoughts were gone.  This allowed my body to relax and just enjoy "The Now" for there will never, ever be another moment exactly the same.  I want to experience all of those "Now" moments that I can.
     
    Smoking and constant withdrawal would have never allowed me to experience this inner state of peace and quiet.  Never again will smoking take away these much needed quiet times that allow me to grow and be the best that I can be for myself and my daughter for without her, I cannot experience all that life has for me, just for Now.
     
    I Smoke Because I Like Smoking
    This video discusses how people who often say the smoke because they like smoking can come to realize that they really smoke because they don't like not smoking.
     
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCkt_ajgTQE
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/4504-is-smoking-stopping-you-from-experiencing-all-that-life-has-to-offer-marylandquitter/
     
  3. jillar

    Summer's Here - Have a Plan

    By jillar,


    General
    reciprocity
     
    Posted June 30, 2017 
     
    Over the next week we have Canada Day on July 1st and Independence Day in the U.S., July 4th. That means lots of parties with friends and relatives. Time to celebrate summer and rightly so!
     
    Just have a plan in advance for how you will handle these get together occasions if they are your first since quitting. You deserve to have a good time but you need to think about what the dangers might be to you so you can avoid them. There will be drinking and some people will be smoking so just give it some thought before hand so you know what you need to do to maintain your quit.
     
    Myself; I look forward to these occasions so I can tactfully work into conversation that I have quit smoking. I'm proud of what I've done and I know some smokers will envy what I've been able to do because they haven't taken the first step yet like we have. A few beers doesn't effect me negatively but it does for some. You have to know what YOUR triggers are and plan around them.
     
    There's been more than a few quits lost due to alcohol and smokers unexpectedly offering up a cigarette. Just think about it in advance and have a plan on what YOU need to do to maintain your quit. I sincerely hope you all enjoy your smokeless holidays!!.
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/8791-summers-here-have-a-plan/
     
  4. jillar

    My Cigarette, My friend......

    By jillar,


    General
    Soberjulie
     
    Posted April 16, 2014 
     
    How do you feel about a friend who has to go everywhere with you?
    Not only does he tag along all the time, but since he is so offensive and vulgar, you become unwelcome when with him.
    He has a peculiar odor that sticks to you wherever you go.
    Others think both of you stink.
    He controls you totally. When he says jump, you jump.
    Sometimes in the middle of a blizzard or storm, he wants you to come to the store and pick him up.
    You would give your spouse hell if he or she did that to you all the time, but you can't argue with your friend.
    Sometimes, when you are out at a movie or play he says he wants you to go stand in the lobby with him and miss important scenes. Since he calls all the shots in your life, you go.
    Your friend doesn't like your choice of clothing either. Instead of politely telling you that you have lousy taste, he burns little holes in these items so you will want to throw them out.
    Sometimes, he tires of the furniture and gets rid of it too.
    Occasionally, he gets really nasty and decides the whole house must go.
    He gets pretty expensive to support. Not only is his knack of property destruction costly, but you must pay to keep him with you.
    In fact, he will cost you thousands of dollars over your lifetime. And you can count on one thing, he will never pay you a penny in return.
    Often at picnics you watch others playing vigorous activities and having lots of fun doing them. But your friend won't let you. He doesn't believe in physical activity. In his opinion, you are too old to have that kind of fun. So he kind of sits on your chest and makes it difficult for you to breathe. Now you don't want to go off and play with other people when you can't breathe, do you?
    Your friend does not believe in being healthy.
    He is really repulsed by the thought of you living a long and productive life.
    So, every chance he gets he makes you sick. He helps you catch colds and flu. Not just by running out in the middle of the lousy weather to pick him up at the store. He is more creative than that. He carries thousands of poisons with him which he constantly blows in your face. When you inhale some of them, they wipe out cilia in your lungs which would have helped you prevent these diseases.
    But colds and flu are just his form of child's play.
    He especially likes diseases that slowly cripple you - like emphysema. He considers this disease great. Once he gets you to have this, you will give up all your other friends, family, career goals, activities - everything. You will just sit home and caress him, telling him what a great friend he is while you desperately gasp for air.
    But eventually your friend tires of you. He decides he no longer wishes to have your company.
    Instead of letting you go your separate ways, he decides to kill you. He has a wonderful arsenal of weapons behind him. In fact, he has been plotting your death since the day you met him. He picked all the top killers in society and did everything in his power to ensure you would get one of them. He overworked your heart and lungs. He clogged up the arteries to your heart, brain, and every other part of your body. In case you were too strong to succumb to this, he constantly exposed you to cancer causing agents. He knew he would get you sooner or later.
    Well, this is the story of your "friend," your cigarette. No real friend would do all this to you. Cigarettes are the worst possible enemies you ever had. They are expensive, addictive, socially unacceptable, and deadly. Consider all this and - NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF!
     
    Joel
    © Joel Spitzer 1990
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/709-my-cigarette-my-friend/
     
  5. jillar

    For anyone that is struggling

    By jillar,


    General
    Sunnyside 
    Quit Date: 02/01/22
     
    Posted August 24, 2015 
     
    I thought I would put my thoughts out here today, my pointers that may help someone out there. If it helps at least one person then I will be happy.

    When I started out on this quit journey I had no confidence at all that I could pull this off. That this quit would probably go the same as all the others did, a DISASTER I always felt that smoking was apart of who I was. That is how people know me! I couldn't change surely. I went for it anyway because I knew deep down that I should. I was never a 100% about it and for a long time I thought it was a temporary thing, it was more a question of how long I would last? Than would I make it. The years of trying just kept knocking my confidence more and more.

    I join a forum which I had never done before, not even for anything else. I'm not the sort of person that would ever do a group session, I was the one in school that would sit in the corner all quiet. The support helped immensely and each day I would get up and say to myself I WILL NOT SMOKE TODAY Then keep ticking off the days. The days started turning into weeks, then months, then a year. Gradually things started to get easier BUT also something was gradually changing inside me too. I was starting to look at things differently. I had changed from someone that wasn't sure weather she wanted to quit to someone that no longer wanted to smoke. Someone that really doesn't see want all the fuss is anymore, that can see this addiction for what it really is.

    Let me just say that their is nothing special about me. I have hardly any will power at all! so if I can do it then anybody can. I know that is a cliché but you all have it in you to do this. Well I have gone on for long enough here is my list of tips.

    HALT - Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired

    Before reaching for a cigarette think is it a crave or is it something else prompting that trigger. Because our brain rewire their selves as you keep smoking to suit with the addiction when you stop it is very hard to tell the difference. So maybe you are hungry or thirsty, need a nap, stressed. STOP For a minute a think is it something else.

    IT DOES GET EASIER

    The withdrawals do not last for ever! The physical side of the addiction last about 3 weeks. If you suffer from anxiety is seems to take a bit longer, but know matter how your quit goes it gets better for everyone eventually. No one could beat off the early withdrawal forever and their are more and more people quitting. It can be done.

    ROMANCING A CIGARETTE

    This is the what can only be described as false memories. You will go through triggers throughout the year. The sunshine, going out drinking even sitting down in the morning having a cup of tea. There are times for all of us were we have trained our brains to think that not only did we enjoy a cigarette when being/doing those events but we can not cope with doing these thing without smoking or we would be miserable without one, that we are depriving our selves of something pleasurable. REMEMBER THAT STATMENT How can that be right?!?

    DEEP BREATHES

    Instead of reaching for a cigarette when the craving are bad or when you are stress, take yourself some where quiet and take some deep breathes in for a couple of minutes. A craving only lasts for about 3 mins, so if you can take yourself away and just breathe deep for those 3 mins it will pass.

    KNOWLEDGE IS POWER

    Read as much information as possible, know your enemy and educate yourself. The information here is priceless but their is also such a wealth of information at your finger tips these days, so use it. If you can change your mind set in to the illusion of smoking it will help you understand what is happening.

    CELEBRATE YOUR MILESTONES

    This really worked for me and gave me my new goal everytime I completed one. It also gave me somewhere to share how proud I was with me self. Early in your quit it is a good idea to reward yourself it doesn't have to be expensive just something to focus on.

    HAVE NO FEAR

    One of the biggest reasons people don't quit is FEAR The fear that you are going to be miserable all the time that as you watch others smoke that you will always feel like you are missing out. Don't be scared! This will change on it's own eventually, there is a better life out there. The sense of freedom really is worth it. Now I can life my life how I want to, not scurrying around try to fit in a cigarette wherever I go, I'm no longer stress because I am in a place where I can not smoking and I am dying for one. I don't feel self conscious when I am out because I can see the sly looks people are giving me. I'M FREEEEEE!!!!!

    I hope this will help someone in their plight to be fag free. Their is a saying around these parts ONWARDS AND UPWARDS Just keep putting one foot forward and you will make your goal.
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/5873-for-anyone-that-is-struggling/
     
  6. jillar
    Ladybug
    Posted April 9, 2014 
     
    I have no idea where I got this from, but it's in my quit diary and I thought I share it with you guys!
     
    As to silencing the inner voice:
     
    The secret is a repeated conscious choice. If you draw a saw across a log one time, you may make a scratch in the bar. If you draw it across the log a few more times you may scratch the surface of the wood.
     
    If you keep drawing the saw across the same place on the log, the scratch will get deeper, until it becomes a cut, then a groove....
     
    If you keep on drawing the saw across the log, beyond counting the number of times, eventually you'll draw it clear through to the other side.
     
    Every morning you get up and consciously choose not to smoke today, you're drawing the saw across the log....keep doing that...and you'll reach the other side.
     
    Keep sawing!!!
     
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/429-how-to-silence-the-inner-voice/
     
  7. jillar
    Aine
    Quit Date: 2-26-2014
     
    Posted April 17, 2014 
     
    I love this bit by John Polito on the nature of a relapse; I need the reiteration of some of these basic ideas of addiction and the dangers of romanticizing the smoke.
     
    "Just one rule - “No nicotine today!”

    There are hundreds of quitting books with millions of words and scores of quick-fix magic cures promising near painless and sure-fire success.   There is but one principle that affords a 100% guarantee of success to all adhering to it ... “No nicotine today.” 

    While the Brandon and Boreland studies afford the junkie-mind an ever so slight amount of wiggle-room on the violation side of “The Law,” there is zero wiggle-room for those of us who fully take it to heart.  It is impossible to fail so long as no nicotine enters our bloodstream.  If we want to live nicotine-free then why toy with horrible odds? 

    The Final Truth

    Assume for a moment that we made it!  We learned how to remain patient during the few minutes a crave episode clamored for compliance.   We knocked them dead.   We stuck with it for the full 72 hours it took to empty our blood, brain and body of all nicotine.  At last we were clean!  Our healing and glory continued for the roughly two to three weeks it took for our mind to adjust to chemically functioning without nicotine and all the other chemicals that arrived with it.  We confronted and extinguished all but our remote, infrequent or seasonal subconscious crave triggers, and tasted that very first day of total and complete comfort where we never once thought about wanting to use nicotine. 

    But still, we have days where our mind becomes occupied with thoughts of lighting a fire between our lips, or of chewing “nicotiana tabacum” (the tobacco plant’s biological name) or of a quick dip in nicotine’s pond.  Years of hard to suppress dopamine “aaah” replenishment memories keep teasing us. 

    How does the recovering, rationalizing or bargaining mind’s vision of what it would be like to just once more use nicotine, compare with the realities that occur during relapse?

    Recall that the 1990 Brandon study examined lapse and relapse in smokers who’d successfully completed a two-week stop smoking program.  The study also documented the primary emotion felt immediately following smoking nicotine.

    Assume that at two weeks into recovery, each who lapsed during the Brandon study had already succeeded in fully navigating physical withdrawal.  Assume that their brains had almost fully re-sensitized.  Reflect on the fact that the addict’s sense of “nicotine normal” no longer existed.  By that I mean, there was no chemical missing, nothing in need of replenishment, the number of acetylcholine receptors had fully down-regulated, and their brain’s sense of homeostasis had been fully restored.  So what was their prime emotion following relapse?

    The vast majority had a negative reaction.  Among them, 13% felt depressed and hopeless, 33% experienced anxiety and tension, 16% were angry and irritated, and 12% felt boredom or fatigue.   Only 3.6% reported what most of us would have expected following normal replenishment, which was “feeling relaxed.”

    Although some of us hated bondage, there is no denying that each nicotine fix brought relief from falling blood nicotine levels that were beginning to deprive us of a level of dopamine to which we'd grown accustomed.  Each nicotine fix played a vital role in restoring us to a relaxed level of comfort upon which we had each come to depend.

    Chronic nicotine use creates its own artificial sense of normalcy, an addiction comfort level. Yes, each fix brought the addict in us a true sense of comfort (from the pains of our own addiction) and yes, most of those memories still remain.  However, one important thing has changed: our brain no longer has a chemical need for nicotine. 

    If we visit online quitting forums and dig back through messages describing relapses that occurred beyond week two, most will have a common ring to them.  They read like this, "I had a mouth full of smoke, I was dizzy and I coughed, but I didn’t get the sense of satisfaction I expected. It just didn’t come!" 

    The thousands of enticing memories in their mind expected a sense of "aaah" relief from wanting.   But their body and mind had already adjusted to life without nicotine.  There was no need for replenishment as nothing was missing.  The take it or leave it feeling in no way matched the relief felt when satisfying dopamine pathway want.  The need to use just wasn’t there.   Unlike when those old want satisfaction “aaah” memories were created, there was nothing missing, no withdrawal induced anxieties or depression, and nothing that needed replenishing.

    Without realizing it, while their conscious mind simply tinkered with the prospect of functioning without nicotine, their body and brain were on a path of real and significant physical healing.   Falsely convinced of the need for nicotine in order to feel normal, while they briefly paused in using it, they did not embrace the prospect of life without it.   They longed for what was left behind, blamed every healing sensation on its absence, and in doing so transformed a culprit into a cure.   So, with great expectations they took that first puff; expectations now shattered. "
     
     
     
    Exerpt from a free pdf book by Polito JR entitled 
    "Freedom from Nicotine - The Journey Home" 
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/756-just-one-rule-“no-nicotine-today”/
     
  8. jillar
    I started smoking when I was in my early teens and continued off and on for the next 28 years.  During that period there were a couple of quits which lasted several years.  My last major attempt at quitting smoking was in 2005 in which I was able to stay smoke-free for just under 6 years.  In 2011, I made the decision to throw my quit away one evening when I was in a stressful situation and decided that smoking a cigarette would relax me.  When I took my first puff that evening I felt like I was home.  I wondered why I had even quit smoking at all in the first place.  I thought I enjoyed it and even thought to myself that smoking was the greatest thing on earth.  I had no regrets, only satisfaction.  I didn’t know a single thing about nicotine addiction and ignorantly believed all the lies.  I was a junkie.  No, not some junkie out on the street begging and stealing to feed my addiction but rather a well dressed professional with a wife and three wonderful children.  But make no mistake about it, I was a junkie just the same in need of a fix of nicotine to make everything better.  This one cigarette woke up my nicotine addiction and I continued to smoke for ~2 years. 
     
    In early December 2012 I went to see my Dr. about something unrelated and before I left I decided to mention that I wanted to quit smoking but enjoyed it too much.  I told him that I could quit if I really wanted to, I just didn’t want to.  I told him that I wanted to quit smoking for my family because they meant everything to me and I knew that the cigarettes would eventually catch up with me if I didn’t quit for good.
     
    In a nutshell, he told me I was full of shit.  He told me that my family wasn’t the most important thing in my life, cigarettes were.  He also went on to tell me that I was an addict to which I laughed and said “you’re telling me that I’m an addict because I’m smoking tobacco?  It’s not like I’m shooting heroin or snorting cocaine.”  He chuckled to himself and said “you’re the exact definition of an addict and the only reason why you’re not out on the streets stealing to feed your addiction is because cigarettes are legal.”  I was mad as I sat there.  How could this man say these things to me?  I really do enjoy smoking.  I sat and I listened.  He gave me a prescription for Wellbutrin XL to help me quit smoking.  I told him that I didn’t need any medication to quit smoking and he informed me that I had been smoking for nearly 28 years with several failed attempts at quitting and whatever I was doing was not working.
     
    After about 5 days the medication started to work to the point that after 2 or 3 pulls on a cigarette, I would get sick to my stomach and be on the verge of puking.  Still, I lit one cigarette after another hoping that the nausea would not last, but it did and finally on December 17, 2012, I decided that I had enough and quit.  This time I stayed nicotine free for 9 months and was sure I would never smoke again.  I spent hour after hour, day after day reading everything I could about nicotine addiction.  I watched the documentaries about the evil tobacco companies (which are on this website and very good I might add), joined a support group online and was sure I had all the answers to staying quit for good.  But as things go, I relapsed again in September 2013 because of one reason; I still believed that the cigarette had something to offer me.
     
    After all of the reading and learning about nicotine addiction, none of it mattered because somewhere in the back of my mind I still believed in the cigarette.  Thankfully, my relapse was short-lived and lasted only 1 week and 1 pack of cigarettes.  What a shame it was to light the first of some 20 odd cigarettes after being smoke-free for ~9 months. 
     
    Those 9 months prior that I speak of, although smoke-free, I was still believing somewhere in the back of my mind that cigarettes could offer me something because of my triumphant reunion with them nearly two years prior.  It was all a big lie perpetuated by me.  When I bought that pack in October I thought it would help.  After reading Allen Carr’s book several times and being proactive for so many months, who was I kidding?  The only thing I got from it was emptiness.  It was at this moment and 19 cigarettes later that I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that cigarettes could not do a damn thing for me.  It took a one week relapse for me to 100% believe that no matter what happens in life, no matter how crappy I feel, cigarettes will not do anything.
     
    With each and every cigarette I analyzed how I felt.  From the very first pull on that cigarette I was ultra aware of how I was feeling.  I remembered Allen Carr.  I remembered the lies.  I remembered all the former smokers in the support group.  I recalled all I had read about this addiction.  I was still waiting for the enjoyment because I thought it really existed.  Not only did I not get one bit of enjoyment from any of it, but I also found out the hard way that there isn’t a single thing enjoyable about smoking.  It wasn’t until I truly understood that I got nothing from smoking that I willingly put the cigarettes down without any medication and without a second thought.
     
    However, close to the end of that week of smoking I could feel the addiction coming on strong.  Had I not chosen to quit smoking on October 7th, 2013, I feel that I would have fallen back into a full blown nicotine addiction and smoking 30-40 cigarettes per day as that was my usual routine.  I was probably just a few cigarettes away from this happening and it was scary to relive those feelings of being physically and mentally addicted to smoking constantly needing to feed the throngs of nicotine withdrawal.  This is not a place that I ever want to revisit.
     
    If you think that you enjoy smoking or that is somehow relaxes you, then you still think that smoking cigarettes can still offer you something of benefit.  This is romanticizing the cigarette, also known as junkie thinking, whether you want to believe it or not. Leaving this door open is dangerous because something will happen along the way that will allow the addiction to creep in and when you least expect it, you’ve relapsed.
     
    If you think that you enjoyed anything about smoking it means that you’re depriving yourself or giving up something that you enjoy when you quit smoking.  The worst case scenario is a relapse and the next worse thing is a constant battle.
     
    Someone once used drugs and sex was as an analogy to quitting smoking.  This is false and cannot be compared because sex and drugs such as heroin, are enjoyable the first time they are tried.  The first time many heroin users shoot up they loved it.  How many of us loved our first cigarette?  None.  Smoking is not enjoyable and so long as you believe that it is or was, you’re only making staying quit much harder than it needs to be.  Actually, quitting smoking can be enjoyable if you’re able to focus on your body and how it’s repairing itself.  Your lungs.  Your skin.  Your teeth.  The newly learned discipline that you’ve used because you never thought you could quit smoking, much less even wanted to quit.
     
    Lastly, a relapse doesn’t happen without first romancing or allowing junkie thinking to creep in.  No situation, as bad as it may be, will force you to smoke unless you’re still believing that you can get something from the cigarette.  Quitting smoking takes no action, only non-action.  Don’t ever take another puff.  Remember “N.O.P.E.” each and every day and make it a priority over life and all of it’s ups and downs.  Never smoke again. Not one puff, ever (N.O.P.E.).
     
    Copied from MarylandQuitters  About Me
     
  9. jillar

    Will i always miss smoking?

    By jillar,


    General
    Sunnyside
    Quit Date: 02/01/22
     
    Posted July 6, 2016 

    I found this article on another website and thought it may help someone here.

    By Terry Martin

    "I quit smoking seven months ago. I do feel better, and I don't struggle all of the time now, but I still have days when I find myself missing my cigarettes. I sometimes wish I could have just one now and then. At times, the urge to smoke is so intense. I wonder if I'll ever be free of this habit? Will I miss smoking forever?"

    Think for a moment of your life as a tightly woven piece of fabric.

    Each thread represents your life events and experiences, and running alongside the many "life" threads are threads of a finer gauge. They are so fine in fact, they're impossible to see with the naked eye. Those threads are your smoking habit, and they've become so thoroughly interwoven in the fabric of your life, you find you can't do anything without thinking about how smoking will fit into it.

    The associations that we build up over time between the activities in our lives and smoking are closely knit. Once you quit smoking, the job becomes one of unraveling those smoking threads, or associations, one by one. How does that happen? And how long does it take?

    Recovery from nicotine addiction is a process of gradual release over time.

    Practice Makes Perfect

    Every smoke-free day you complete is teaching you how to live your life without cigarettes. Bit by bit, you're reprogramming your responses to the daily events that trigger the urge to smoke.

    The more practice you get, the less cravings will plague you. Over the course of your first smoke-free year, you'll encounter and have a chance to clear most of the events and situations in your daily life that you associate with smoking.

    Seasonal Smoking Triggers

    Some smoking triggers are seasonal in nature and can create strong smoking urges months into your quit program.

    For instance, if you quit smoking during the winter and you're an avid gardener, you could find yourself craving a smoke break the first time you're out digging in the dirt the following spring. Thoughts of smoking related to the seasons may hit you with an intensity you haven't felt in months. Don't worry. Once you make your way through the trigger smoke-free, it will let go and you can move on.

    The first year is all about firsts...experiencing the many daily events in your life smoke free for the first time. And it's all about practice. You built your smoking habit through years of practice. Now, build the nonsmoking you the same way. Practice is a necessary part of recovery from nicotine addiction, so try to relax and let time help you. The more of it you put between yourself and that last cigarette you smoked, the stronger you'll become.

    Work on Your Attitude

    There's another step in finding permanent freedom from nicotine addiction that is just as important as practice and time.

    It involves your attitude. I'm sure you've heard about people who still struggle years and years after quitting. They're the ones who say they "still miss smoking" 20 years down the road. That's a frightening thing to hear, but don't let it throw you. The reason they are in that position has to do with the fact that they never did the work to change what cigarettes meant to them.

    Along with using patience and time to help you reprogram your associations with smoking, you must also alter the way you think about your cigarettes. The path to permanent freedom has to do with changing the relationship you have to smoking, and the way to make that mental shift is through education.

    As the saying goes...

    Knowledge is Power...

    ...and it's the truth when it comes to recovering from nicotine addiction. Educate yourself by reading everything you can find about how tobacco harms us from head to toe. It will open your eyes, but more importantly, it will help you start to change the meaning that cigarettes have for you. Once you do that, the mental chains of this addiction will begin to break down for good. You'll truly be free, and believe me, it's a great place to be.

    Be patient with yourself and allow for as much time as you need to heal from this addiction. There is no set formula for recovery; we're all unique in how we move through the process.

    Read about nicotine addiction and do the work to change the way you perceive cigarettes. They are instruments of death. They deserve nothing more than your disdain.

    Don't look at quitting tobacco as a sacrifice. You're not giving up anything of value. Your quit program is a gift. Change your attitude and you'll find your freedom.

    Cessation is doable, and your precious life is worth the work it takes to achieve.

    If You Want to Change Your Life, Change Your Mind.
     
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/7257-will-i-always-miss-smoking/
     
  10. jillar

    KNOCK KNOCK

    By jillar,


    General
    Cristóbal
    Quit Date: 14 October 2012
     
     
    Posted on QSMB Dec 17 2013 by JWG
     
    When my son was young he would walk to the end of the drive to wait for the school bus. I would stand at the bay window off the side nook of our home where I could look down the drive and watch until he safely got on board.  Sounding like a good father this may be. But in actuality I found I enjoyed the heat off the glass and watching the life outdoors from the birds to the ever changing leaves of the seasons. Here I would smoke my morning cigarette. It wasn’t long I had moved a small bench near the window so I could sit and be a bit more comfortable And take in a bit more of my surroundings. I bought a nice brass ashtry on a stand to place next to my bench and would bring in my newspaper into the nook ., By the following year I came to realize  It wasn’t much of a bench or that comfortable, So I decided to have some work done to the room and to the window I had a much better built in bench placed into the wall almost making me like a cat sitting on a lagre comfy ledge over looking the world , searching for his pray, like that fat robin I watch in the mornings searching out a nice fat worm.
     
    On day while peering down the drive , watching , waiting for my son to board the bus, I noticed a shadowy figure standing off to his side. I would not say it a ghost or man, just an odd shadowy figure,, quite perplex this left me , almost to the point of quizzy, what was this figure ,, what was it doing out there ?
     
    For the next few mornings to weeks perhaps months I would watch with an unsettling intent ,, always wondering , what was this figure,  a shadow from a limb or tree ?
    In the afternoons if I were to walk to the end of the drive never was there any evidence of such a figure, questioning my son , was always the same “ your crazy” he would
    Say. But No I was not crazy ,, I saw what I saw and what I saw was a real as you and me.
     
    As the years past , I began to come to terms with the  figure at the end of the drive , I knew well whatever it was meant my son no harm. But still each day I found myself looking out the window.. Years would pass , no longer did my son need a protective eye to watch him get on to the bus. But still each morning I went to the window for my morning coffee , cigarette and newspaper. Always peering
    down the drive slowly it was becoming obvious the figure had turned its sights to me,, no longer was I the watcher , but now the watchy. And with this the hair on the back of my neck stood up,
     
    Schools years would come and go, Jason would be moving in the fall to attend collage  and I found my self remolding more and more I had moved my study down into nook , moved a side wall expanding the nook itself allowing me more room, I worked from home and really found with these accommodations I was just fine, plus saving me time from going up and down the stairs so much.
     At once this shadowy figure a bit of amusement now each day an every growingly obsession, a looming haunt always in the back of my mind. Never was it different from one day to the next , but over the years it was easy to see this was a man in grim black suit complete with over coat and hat.
    For years I asked visitors that would stop by , “what they thought of the man at the end of my drive ?” always to be givng the same response “ Still on that kick” so in time I stoped asking , I came to except it was only myself that could see him. But as a say , what I saw , I saw , and he was real. As real as you or I.
     
     
    By the second year Jason had moved out , my work had slowed down. To save some money on heating and other bills I pretty much moved myself completely into the nook , which now was more like a tiny apt. I had a small bed and fridge a microwave, my coffee pot . Sure I would still make it threw the maze the rest of the down stairs had become to make it into the kitchen if need be. But for the most part I was fine in my cubby.
     
    With less work these days I found myself spending  more on my bench smoking my cigarettes watching my mystery man in black. With the difference being now slowly I could see he was approaching the house. Not each day could I notice, but slowly, ever so slowly he was making his way down the drive.
     
    Until the morning I woke to look out the window and there he stood straight across the drive. I knew then , right then.. Who had come calling ! His eyes were hallow as if none were there at all. His face a slunken gray like dead skin draped across a skelton . No longer was his black suit of fine linen now a grab  more like canvas with a hood from the top of his head dragging past his feet. No more then I peered into his sullun face, he turned abruptly proceeding down the drive. I knew with out a doubt . His next stop was the front door.
     
    Dizzzy, breathless, my knees week ,, I stammered back, the back of my knees hit a recliner I had set up.
     
    nto which I fell. Sitting there now lost reality was gone ,, where was I ? what was going on ? what had I done ? I reached for a cigarette to comfort me , to guide me, to give me answers.
     
    And there I sat and smoked . Looking down on to my cracked and dried skin, stained yellow from years of tar and nicotine. I saw all the answers I was looking for.
     
    With my own two hands I molded my own death , from once only a shadowy figure at the end of my drive to a creature from the underworld. I forged my own end, one cigarette at a time. One day after another ,one year after another, all the while knowing death was monitoring my every move. Why did I not stop? I could have quit ,millions do it every day. Why did I not run from this house? was I blind, a fool ? Or  an addict appeasing  myself,  to avoid the discomforts of nicotine withdrawal…
     
    *rasp*rasp*rasp*
     
    The cold steal of his scythe rattles the front glass…
     
     
    In Memory of JWG - Reposted by Cristóbal
    JWG Died of Lung Cancer shortly before his 4 Year Anniversary, 6 weeks after his diagnosis.
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/10729-jwg-post-knock-knock-dec-17-2013/
     
  11. jillar
    In honor of Quit Train's anniversary the first post written by our founder MarylandQuitter......
     
    MarylandQuitter
    Administrators
    Quit Date: 10/07/2013
     
    Posted March 28, 2014 
     
    Remove the desire to smoke and you will never smoke again.  Practice on removing the desire to smoke until you firmly believe that you get nothing from it.  Until then, use your smoking addiction to help you quit smoking.  That’s right, you read correctly.  You, me and millions more rationalized smoking even though we knew the consequences.  Use those same veteran rationalization skills to rationalize quitting smoking.  Think about that for a minute.  If we could rationalize smoking knowing full well the damaging effects it had on our health, why can’t we rationalize quitting smoking knowing full well the health benefits of quitting?
     
    Based from my experience, the most important attribute to a successful quit, which is a non burdensome quit, is to remove the desire to smoke by understanding and believing that the cigarette has nothing to offer.  This and only this will allow for a lifetime of freedom and never leave you feeling like you’re giving something up or missing out by living life as a non-smoker.
     
    So many have relapsed and so many more are too afraid to quit smoking because of all the horror stories they’ve heard about nicotine withdrawal when you quit.  That horror only exists in our minds, if we let it.  Of course we’ll have mild withdrawal and mental triggers that may cause cravings, but they’re far from horrific and certainly nothing more than we’ve already experienced.
     
    Quitting smoking is not hard.  In fact, the whole process is quite enjoyable if we only focus on the benefits of being a non-smoker.  There is no need to focus on anything else because we’re not giving anything up.   We’re not missing out.  The cravings come and go and soon will be gone forever.  Even while we were smoking, the unwavering loyalty of our body was trying to heal itself while we kept poisoning it.  It never gave up on us despite that we were putting things in our mouths and setting them on fire to feed our addiction.  Once we quit smoking, our bodies take a huge sigh of relief and work overtime to make up for lost time and starts healing and repairing the damage that we caused it.
     
    The easy part for some is the initial quit while for others it’s staying quit.  Ask 10 people and the answers will vary.  The reality is that everyone can quit smoking and stay that way.  If you’re finding it difficult to stay quit it’s because you think the cigarette still has something to offer you.  This is why I relapsed.  This is why others’ invariably relapse.
     
    Never give up and just continue to remove the desire to smoke by knowing with every ounce of who you are that the cigarette offers you nothing.  It can’t do a thing for you.  It’s impossible that it can relieve stress, doesn’t taste good and certainly is no reward.  Some get this right away.  Others, like myself, it took a little longer.  But now that I know this, the desire to smoke has been successfully removed and although I still get a trigger here and there (just part of being a nicotine addict), I know it won’t do a damn thing for me.  You can get there too.  Never, ever stop striving to get there.  Never smoke again. Not one puff, ever (N.O.P.E.).
     
     
  12. jillar

    Why do we "Pay it Forward"?

    By jillar,


    General
    soul
    Quit Date: 11.29.09
     
    Posted April 8, 2014 
     
    I have taken the liberty to borrow a writing from a great man and modify it (may he forgive me) to fit the principle of "Paying it Forward" in the smoking cessation world......................
     
    Here below is what I stand for, in all my affairs.............
     
    "I stand by the door"
     
     
    I neither go too far in, nor stay too far out.
    The door is among the most important doors in the world -
    It is the door through which men walk when they find Freedom.
    There is no use my going way inside and staying there,
    When so many are still outside and they, as much as I,
    Crave to know where the door is.
    And all that so many ever find
    Is only the wall where the door ought to be.
    They creep along the wall like blind men,
    With outstretched, groping hands,
    Feeling for a door, knowing there must be a door,
    Yet they never find it.
    So I stand by the door.
     
    The most tremendous thing in the world
    Is for men to find that door - the door to Freedom.
    The most important thing that any man can do
    Is to take hold of one of those blind, groping hands
    And put it on the latch - the latch that only clicks
    And opens to the man's own touch.
     
    Men die outside the door, as starving beggars die
    On cold nights in cruel cities in the dead of winter.
    Die for want of what is within their grasp.
    They live on the other side of it - live because they have not found it.
     
    Nothing else matters compared to helping them find it,
    And open it, and walk in,
    So I stand by the door.
     
    Go in; go all the way in -
    Go way down into the cavernous cellars,
    And way up into the spacious attics.
    It is a vast, roomy house, this house of Freedom.
    Go into the deepest of hidden casements,
    Of withdrawal, of silence, of sainthood.
    Some must inhabit those inner rooms
    And know the depths and heights of Freedom,
    And call outside to the rest of us how wonderful it is.
    Sometimes I take a deeper look in.
    Sometimes venture in a little farther,
    But my place seems closer to the opening.
    So I stand by the door.
     
    There is another reason why I stand there.
    Somebody must be watching for the frightened
    Who seek to sneak out just where they came in,
    To tell them how much better it is inside.
    The people too far in do not see how near these are
    To leaving - preoccupied with the wonder of it all.
    Somebody must watch for those who have entered the door
    But would like to run away. So for them too,
    I stand by the door.
     
    I admire the people who go way in.
    But I wish they would not forget how it was
    Before they got in. Then they would be able to help
    The people who have not yet even found the door.
    Or the people who want to run away again .
    You can go in too deeply and stay in too long
    And forget the people outside the door.
    As for me, I shall take my old accustomed place.................
     
    Where? Outside the door -
    Thousands of them. Millions of them.
    But - more important for me -
    One of them, two of them, ten of them.
    Whose hands I am intended to put on the latch.
    So I shall stand by the door and wait
    For those who seek it.
     
    'I had rather be a door-keeper
    So I stand by the door.
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/378-why-do-we-pay-it-forward/
     
  13. jillar

    Keep the promise you make to yourself

    By jillar,


    General
    JimHannoonen
    Quit Date: Feb. 9 2017
     
    Posted June 9, 2017 
     
    You've made a choice to not smoke anymore and that's awesome, but remember this.

    No matter what you do, no matter how many patches you put on your body, how many pills you take or wads of nicotine gum you shove in your mouth, none of these things are going to be a cigarette and none are going to make you feel ok. You're gong to go through some gnarly sh*t over the next few months and you know what? That's ok.

    You're going to be walking down a dark and dismal road for a while and you're going to be scared and angry. You're going to feel alone and miserable. This is going to really, really suck for you at some point. Anyone here can tell you that. This may be one of the hardest things you've ever done and you're likely going to question why you're putting yourself through it.

    But with all that said, you will deal with the cravings. You'll take those deep, cleansing breaths and get past them, just like so many others here have. You'll have some of the worst days you've ever had. But you'll work through them.
    You're going to find that you're a lot stronger than you thought you were. That you're capable of dealing with a lot more than you thought possible

    You'll post insane rants that seem like they don't make any sense to anyone, but they will. They'll make sense to everyone here that reads them, because we've all been there.

    Then you'll have a good day. And then another. Before you know it, most of your days are good and you find you're not thinking about smoking 24/7.  You take a deep breath and notice just how much deeper it is compared to before.

    Sure, every once in a while, you may have a bad day, but just like when you started this journey, you'll take your deep, cleansing breaths and work your way through it and you'll smile when you think about all the friends you've made on this forum and the relationships you know are going to be with you for a long, long time.

    You'll do all these things because that day you decided you weren't going to smoke anymore, you make a promise to yourself and you must keep that promise no matter what.
     
    Link to original post:https://www.quittrain.com/topic/8658-my-little-trick/
     
  14. jillar

    Junkie Thinking

    By jillar,


    General
    MarylandQuitter
    Quit Date: 10/07/2013
     
    Posted April 2, 2014 · 
     
    Excuses to smoke
    JUNKIE THINKING: “One Puff won’t hurt”
    RESPONSE: “One puff will always hurt me, and it always will because I’m not a social smoker. One puff and I’ll be smoking compulsively again.”
     
    JUNKIE THINKING: “I only want one.”
    RESPONSE: “I have never wanted only one. In fact, I want 20-30 a day every day. I want them all.”
     
    JUNKIE THINKING: “I’ll just be a social smoker.”
    RESPONSE: “I’m a chronic, compulsive smoker, and once I smoke one I’ll quickly be thinking about the next one. Social smokers can take it or leave it. That’s not me.”
     
    JUNKIE THINKING: “I’m doing so well, one won’t hurt me now.”
    RESPONSE: “The only reason I’m doing so well is because I haven’t taken the first one. Yet once I do, I won’t be doing well anymore. I’ll be smoking again.”
     
    JUNKIE THINKING: “I’ll just stop again.”
    RESPONSE: “Sounds easy, but who am I trying to kid? Look how long it too me to stop this time. And once I start, how long will it take before I get sick enough to face withdrawal again? In fact, when I’m back in the grip of compulsion, what guarantee do I have that I’ll ever be able to stop again?”
     
    JUNKIE THINKING: “If I slip, I’ll keep trying.”
    RESPONSE: “If I think I can get away with one little “slip” now I’ll think I can get away with another little “slip” later on.”
     
    JUNKIE THINKING: “I need one to get me through this withdrawal.”
    RESPONSE: “Smoking will not get me through the discomfort of not smoking. I will only get me back to smoking. One puff stops the process of withdrawal and I’ll have to go through it all over again.”
     
    JUNKIE THINKING: “I miss smoking right now.”
    RESPONSE: “Of course I miss something I’ve been doing every day for most of my life. Bud do I miss the chest pain right now? Do I miss the worry, the embarrassment? I’d rather be an ex-smoker with an occasional desire to smoke, than a smoker with a constant desire to stop doing it.”
     
    JUNKIE THINKING: “I really need to smoke now, I’m so upset.”
    RESPONSE: “Smoking is not going to fix anything. I’ll still be upset, I’ll just be an upset smoker. I never have to have a cigarette. Smoking is not a need; it’s a want. Once the crisis is over, I’ll be relieved and grateful I’m still not smoking.”
     
    JUNKIE THINKING: “I don’t care.”
    RESPONSE: “What is it exactly that I think that I don’t care about? Can I truthfully say I don’t care about chest pain? I don’t care about gagging in the morning? I don’t care about lung cancer? No, I care about these things very much. That’s why I stopped smoking in the first place.”
     
    JUNKIE THINKING: “What difference does it make, anyway?”
    RESPONSE: “It makes a difference in the way I breathe, the way my heart beats, the way I feel about myself. It makes a tremendous difference in every aspect of my physical and emotional health.”
    http://www.quitsmokinghelp.ca/mustread/junkiethinking.html
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/31-junkie-thinking/?do=findComment&comment=123
     
  15. jillar

    More Thoughts on Triggers

    By jillar,


    General
    d2e8b8 3579
    Quit Date: Oct 17, 2016
     
    Posted December 15 
     
    I recall a post explaining triggers which I'll try to paraphrase in case it helps someone as much as it helped me.
     
    There are 3 kinds of triggers - 
     
    - Daily triggers.  These happen daily e.g. coffee, lunch, in the car driving to work, returning from work, etc.  When we quit smoking, these are the triggers that we tackle first and overcome within the first few days.  Having overcome these, we start to feel confident ...not realizing there are other triggers waiting to trip us.
     
    - Occasional triggers.  As the name suggests, they happen occasionally e.g. vacation - drive, flight, visiting family or friends, social activities like bar, dance etc.  Generally, these are events that happen a few times a year but not daily.  These are dangerous because they surprise us just as we're feeling confident. If we're not prepared, we can lose the quit to these occasional triggers even after staying quit 3,4 or 6 months.
     
    - Life event triggers.  These only happen a few times in our lives e.g. losing a job or a loved one or a break up.  Again, smoking doesn't help with anything but the trigger catches us at a moment when we are vulnerable and may not be acting rationally and can result in losing a quit.
     
    For me, it helped to understand the concept ahead of time - that after overcoming the initial daily triggers, there will come other triggers and they will tend to catch you by surprise and unprepared.  A bit of thinking and preparing ahead of time helped so that when the time came, it was possible to fight and kill the trigger.  
     
    It's all in the head after all and I had my own game that I played in the head to kill triggers.  I visualized hitting the trigger with a hammer and shouting "Die trigger die".  A couple of times I may have shouted aloud getting a few strange stares ... but it worked ... and that's all that matters.
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/blogs/entry/1105-thoughts-on-triggers/
     
  16. jillar
    DenaliBlues
    Quit Date: 2/10/2022
     
    Posted January 21 
     
    Reading and re-reading is a great strategy in the early hours and days of your quit. I did that, too. What else will you do to support and distract yourself? You might try making a list of things you can do instead of smoking when the cravings strike. I know it sounds corny to make a list, but it helps to be prepared (things to do with your hands, things to do with your mouth, mindless tasks, exercise snacks, physical comforts). Otherwise, Addict Mind will go blank and tell you that nothing but smoking will suffice.  
     
    When things get crunchy, remember...
     
    Cravings really suck, but they will pass. A craving is a commercial, not a command. The feeling of "Other people can quit but I cannot" is a withdrawal symptom, NOT an accurate assessment of your ability. During the early stages of withdrawal, our addicted brains tell us all kinds of crazy s--t that isn't true. During that time, trust what you read here on the board, don't trust Addict Mind. It's not your friend.   
    Keep us posted - let us know what's on your list and how you're feeling!
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/21358-quit-thoughts/
     
  17. jillar

    Quitters Remorse

    By jillar,


    General
    Jenny
    Quit Date: 5/24/2012
     
    Overcoming Your Quitter’s Remorse.
    september 20, 2012 by      cameron kellett 
     
     
    If you have ever attempted to quit smoking, there is a good chance you’re familiar with the notion of quitter’s remorse. You may recognize it as the occasional feeling of regret we have over making the decision to quit smoking and cause ourselves to suffer the healing process.
     
    It is a feeling that leads us to envy those care free smokers, happily feeding their addiction without a worry in the world.
    The remorse will often come after recalling what it was like to NOT bear the struggle that comes with quitting smoking. It is a feeling that leads us to envy those care free smokers, happily feeding their addiction without a worry in the world and no commitment to live up to.
    Quitter’s remorse, I would say, is one of the biggest influences for relapse outside of the chemical dependency to nicotine.
    Why?
     
    Because the junkie brain feeds off it. It uses our fear and our doubt against us. If unrecognized, quitter’s remorse can lead a quitter to forget just how utterly crap being an addict actually was.
     
    So, how do we overcome it?
     
    The first step is having a greater awareness. Being able to recognise your junkie brain and its remorse over quitting, enables you to actively fight against it, and in turn, overpower it. If you are mentally prepared when the junkie brain strikes, you can quickly rationalise your way to a different perspective.
    Consider using Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to help achieve this.
     
    Another angle of attack is to build your quit smoking campaign around a genuine desire to live a life free from nicotine addiction; rather than the avoidance of long term health consequences.
     
    Learn as much as you can about your addiction! Once you understand it you can believe with confidence, all those feelings of remorse will quickly pass and eventually disappear. You will come to understand those feelings of loss or nagging regrets are completely influenced by the addiction and not your rational self.
     
    In time you will become sympathetic toward smokers, rather than envious. You will see the addict before you see the smoker.
    It also pays to remind yourself that smokers are almost always envious of ex smokers. Smokers often feel helplessly trapped by their addiction and hold little hope of quitting. I remember thinking that way as an addict.
     
    At the end of the day, if you are in the middle of a quit campaign and find yourself feeling remorseful, ask yourself, which do you want to be;
    hopeful or hopeless.
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/9650-quitters-remorse/
     
     
  18. jillar

    HALT

    By jillar,


    General
    babs609
    Quit Date: 07/13/2012
     
    Posted March 29, 2014 
     
    Quitting tobacco is a process. It doesn't happen overnight, but compared to the amount of time most of us spent smoking, recovery from nicotine addiction is relatively short.
    Years of smoking taught us to react to literally everything by lighting a cigarette. When we were happy, we'd celebrate by lighting up. When we got angry, smoking would calm us down, or so we thought. Tired? Smoke a cigarette to stay awake. Hungry? Feed yourself a smoke. This list goes on and on.

    Between the physical addiction to nicotine and the mental associations that tie what seems like all of our activities to cigarettes, it can feel as though we're chained to the habit with links of steel.

    Successful recovery includes learning how to hear the message behind the urge to smoke and respond with more appropriate choices, such as a nap or a meal, for instance.

    Have patience with yourself. This skill takes some time to hone, but you'll get better at it. Eventually, cigarettes will fade as a fix for physical and emotional needs, and you'll make choices that actually address the signal your body is sending without thinking twice about it.

    When the Urge to Smoke Hits, Think H.A.L.T.

    H.A.L.T. (Hungry,Angry,Lonely,Tired) is a powerful checklist to help you decode the urges to smoke that you experience. Nine times out of ten, a craving can be traced to one of these four things:

    Hungry

    Have a snack or a meal. If you are hungry, food is the answer, not a cigarette. If you're concerned about weight gain, try drinking water before you eat a snack to help control the amount you eat. Keep healthy snacks on hand. Celery sticks, raw baby carrots and frozen grapes make good low calorie snacks.

    Normal weight gain due to quitting smoking is 5-8 pounds. Metabolism does slow a bit initially, so some daily exercise is a good idea. Things will balance out and that quit-related weight will drop off within a couple of months as long as you're eating the same as you were before you stopped smoking.

    Don't be too hard on yourself. Try to eat in moderation, but until you get your quit program under solid control, don't fret if you gain a few pounds. Quitting tobacco must be in the top slot of your priority list for as long as it takes. Weight can always be lost later.

    Angry

    Anger is a big trigger for most of us. Find healthy outlets for your feelings of frustration. If at all possible, deal with the situation that is bothering you head on and be done with it.

    Talk to friends and family about your feelings or write in your journal. The important thing is not to let anger simmer and get the upper hand. Reaching for a cigarette can seem like a quick fix, but it is a false fix.

    We may not always be able to choose the events that happen around us, but we do have control over how we let external situations affect us emotionally.

    Come up with a few ideas of things you can do to help you shift negative energy that bubbles up before it has the chance to do any damage. That way, when a situation arises, you're prepared. It will help you maintain control and get through it without smoking.

    Remind yourself that no one has the power to affect your emotions without your approval. You control your inner environment, for better or worse. Take responsibility for how you feel and it will empower you to control difficult emotions smoke-free.

    Lonely

    For most ex-smokers, loneliness is more accurately described as boredom. Smoking was such a constant companion it was an activity in and of itself.

    Early on in cessation, distraction is a useful tool that can help you manage feelings of boredom. Get out for a walk, watch a movie, or work on a hobby. Come up with a list of things you enjoy doing and do some of them. Make them fun and they will help you over the hump of this type of smoking trigger.

    Depression also falls under this category. People quitting tobacco are especially susceptible to the blues, at least early on. Leaving cigarettes behind can feel like the loss of a friend, albeit a destructive, life-stealing friend. After years of smoking, most of us feel the loss of smoking in this way to some extent.

    If you feel yourself slipping into a funk, take action. Change your environment(internal, external, or both) and it will help you change your attitude. It's ok to mourn the death of your smoking habit, but don't glorify it as something it was not. It was out to KILL you, remember that!

    Tired

    Fatigue can be a big trigger for the newly quit. Instead of lighting up when you're tired, give yourself permission to slow down and relax a little, take a nap, or go to bed early if you need to. Sounds so simple, yet people often push themselves too far with all of the demands of life these days.

    Be aware and take care. Don't let yourself get run down. A tired you is going to be more susceptible to junkie thinking and the threat of relapse. Protect your quit by protecting your health, both physically and mentally.

    It may feel like you'll never be free of cigarettes and thoughts of smoking will always plague you, but have some faith in yourself and the process, and please be patient. We taught ourselves to smoke, and we can teach ourselves to live comfortably without smokes too.

    Soon enough, you'll get to a place where smoking cessation is no longer a daily effort. You may even wonder why you didn't quit sooner, because life without cigarettes has become natural and easy.

    In the meantime, keep H.A.L.T. in your arsenal of quit tools and use it to decipher those urges as they come, one by one.

    great article by Terry Martin        
     
    Link to original post:  https://www.quittrain.com/topic/9-halt/
     
  19. jillar
    Repost by Sherry
    Posted 07 April 2009 - 11:31 PM
     
     
    Dear ___________,

    I am about to try and change my life for the better. I have quit smoking. I just wanted to write this letter to you so you know what to expect for the next couple of weeks, since the process of withdrawal can be very challenging for me, and for those around me. (Most people do not realize it, but nicotine addiction is literally one of the hardest drugs to kick, even harder than heroin).

    Everyone reacts to the withdrawal symptoms differently, but in general, during the first two weeks (Hell Week and Heck Week), I will most likely not be my normal self. My attention will literally be taken up with fighting the physical and mental urges to smoke. I may cry, I may yell, I may ignore you. Worst of all, I may say hurtful things to you, but I want you to know that this is the nicotine talking, not my heart. I WILL apologize afterwards, once the nicotine has left my body and my mind has cleared, but for the moment, please, PLEASE remember that I care about you, and let it roll off your back.

    You need to know that when a smoker quits, the body and the mind will try almost anything to trick the user into taking another puff. I may rationalize that "now is not a good time" I may talk about feeling a sense of emptiness and loss. My body may develop aches and pains. I may not be able to sleep. I may act like the pain I am experiencing.

    But be aware that I am doing this for ME, not for you. In this one important way, I have to be selfish, so that I cannot give the nicotine a reason to put the blame on anyone else. 

    Here are 10 things you CAN do to help: 
    • Be there when I need a hug, but don't be hurt when I push you away. 
    • If I tell you to leave me alone, give me space, but don't go too far...I need to know you are near no matter what the nicotine says. 
    • Don't try to argue with me when I start to rationalize...silence is a more powerful message. 
    • Avoid the topic of cigarettes (because I'm trying to get them off my mind), unless I bring it up first. 
    • Do the best you can to act as if everything is normal. The more "normal" you act, the faster I will get there. 
    • Consciously try to avoid letting me get into stressful situations...if something stressful can be put off for a couple of weeks, please try to do so. If not, please try to cushion me. 
    • Just keep telling me it will get better and that this effort is worth it. 
    • Tell me I am strong. Tell me you are proud of me. But also, tell me you will be there no matter what I say or do.
    I just wanted to prepare you because the first two weeks are usually the worst, but be aware that it doesn't suddenly get better...it will be a gradual process. Also, please be aware that while I am doing this quit for me, you and those around me will benefit as well. I will be free from the shackles of needing to know where the closest cigarette store is. I will be free of the smell. I will be free of an early death. And I will be free to spend more quality time with those I love.

    Thank you in advance for being strong enough to care about me, and help me through this.

    Love,

    Me 
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/12217-add-this-to-your-toolboxa-Letter-to-loved-ones/
     
  20. jillar

    Thoughts on Triggers

    By jillar,


    General
    Still winning
    Quit Date: 12th March 2014
     
    Posted October 29, 2015 
     
    It's been a while since I did a post as I don't ever want to take away from newer quits but I see a lot of triggers going around and some jumping off's. My way of speaking (writing) is to explain my experience and hopefully people can relate, or not and that's good if they can share their experience instead. Makes it much broader.  I also have no intention of saying in one paragraph what can be said in 20, I ramble  .
     
    So a trigger is simply your brain remembering "hey, we used to smoke now". I recently bumped a post called the Executive assistant, it's a great read! That's such a powerful realization to know that it is simply a thought and in reality, we have many thoughts within a day, some good some not. So the fact that I and others ran scared of quitting or staying quit (relapse queens take a bow!) was mainly due to the fear that I would always feel that I was missing something - once I found this support I quickly realized the thoughts would fade and it was worth holding on for the peace of mind later. So yes, at times it was uncomfortable mentally, but I never physically hurt, on the contrary, I actually physically started healing, we all do. I still love the stats about recovery times. Only 72 hours to get nicotine out is so fabulous really when you think of it, simply years of stuffing it in there and all gone in 3 days! I digress though. 
     
    It often took me by surprise when a smoking thought would take a hold of my brain, what we refer to as romancing the smoke. I did quickly learn that I could distract my brain quite easily though. if the trigger was simply a thought, another thought could replace it. If the trigger was simply remembering we would smoke here, then a new and healthier habit would soon get rid of the trigger or I could simply answer the thought with "we don't do that anymore". I heard it described as a tool box and I like that analogy. A toolbox of ways to outwit our own thoughts. In any other scenario this might sound like we have a screw loose (Jury's out on some of us!) but actually it's quite sane.  Get a plan of what you will do when you have your triggers and moving past it becomes easier. 
     
    We berate ourselves when we're past the initial couple of weeks for still getting triggers. I wonder why we anticipate we should be over it so quickly? I've read powerful lines like quitting is a journey not an event, that makes sense. A change of season trigger is not nearly the same as week 1 unless you give it lots of head space, so don't do that. If you're finding yourself romancing, talk/post/pm someone, smoking is a lie and it never was the answer to any of life's problems.  Reading up and educating yourself on how addiction works means you start to realize it's all a choice. That's where the answer is on triggers for me. If I "choose" to throw myself off the quit train, I will only have to start again, today or years later with more damage, may as well "get er done" today. I see others who continue to smoke and kid themselves. I've seen that journey on family ahead of me and trust me, it doesn't bear thinking about and I choose not to dwell on others who can't get real about this.
     
    So if ever a smoking thought flits through my mind now, it's easy to bat it away, like swatting a fly out of your face really. No it's nothing like the early thoughts. Actually I'll say that used to really worry me when 5 year veteran quitters said they still thought about smoking! Those people are abstaining, not quitting, there is a strong difference!  The reason I think is I embraced every trigger (holiday/seasonal/milestones) and faced it down. It wasn't always an elegant face down. I still feel like I missed a trick not buying shares in a tissue company! But the triggers do all get faced if you want to be free and it's perfectly reasonable to feel mentally on edge sometimes, non smokers get that! Non smokers have stress without smoking. They go drinking without smoking too, if they choose too.  
     
    "Choice"...isn't life all about choices. Quitting smoking is a good choice. Talking about struggling is another great choice, use the support here. We're here by choice, to help those who want it.
     
    So probably this whole post could have just been - Triggers are just thoughts of we could smoke here. but we don't smoke, so nope.
     
    However my inane drivel is far more fun and has filled your day with love and light I'm sure  :wub:  .
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/6195-thoughts-on-triggers/
     
     
  21. jillar

    Where does the train go?

    By jillar,


    General
    Jonny5
    Quit Date: 2011-12-21
     
    Posted April 28, 2014 
     
    We are all on board the quit train, chugging away to our destination, but where is that destination, when will you have arrived?
     
    the secret for me is that the train is very much like a child's train set, it has elaborate bridges, tunnels, stations etc, but ultimately the train is on a continuous loop.
     
    there are many stations where we pick up passengers, there's Cold Turkey Park, Patch Junction, E-cig Crossing, Grand Gum Central, and loads more that I've run out of names for 😉  but you get the point, we all start our journeys in different places.
     
    We all bring various amounts of baggage with us, sometimes our baggage takes up more room on the train than we do ourselves.  this is often the case for a new passenger.  The other occupants of the carriage are a little more experienced, and they soon help the new rider to pack away the baggage neatly, and in many cases the new rider realises that they have packed a whole load of junk that is weighing them down, so they toss it out the window, bit by bit.  sometimes it's harder for folk to let go of certain belongings, items that they have held on to for years, often these false idols weigh down the passenger more than they can comprehend, but life without these false idols feels kind of raw, naked if you like, it can feel like you are loosing your very identity, until of course that you realise that your identity was one of addiction, not of choice.
     
    Along the journey, we pass through many seasons and triggers, some of us for the first time, and some of us for the hundredth time.  they are frightening first time around, but we soon get used to them, and our companions comfort us and prepare us, and they warn us in advance.  We soon get used to them.
     
    We pass through Cliche Canyon, here we stop for a while to stretch our legs, and to reaffirm the things we have learned along the way.  we make up songs and rhymes, and acronyms for the newbies to sing, so that they remember that One Equals All, so that they know to Never Take Another Puff, and that Not One Puff Ever will keep them safe.
     
    The most treacherous part of the journey is Relapse Ravine, it lays just beyond Memory Lane, somewhere after passing through No man's Land. This can be the most lonely part of the journey, A passenger can be sitting in one of the quiet carriages, the newbie coach has gotten a bit too noisy for them, they sit and stare out of the window, gazing down memory lane, dreams of a long lost romance can fill their hearts and minds, and can drive them crazy.  some of these passengers will go and chat to the newbies, they understand that they may need to be reminded of the early struggles, some of them ask the olde phartes what to do.  But some unfortunately climb on the roof,  bypassing the SOS safety rail, and throw themselves into relapse ravine, looking for their lost love.
     
    It is important to remember that when we are smokers, that was our comfort zone, It is not the zone that we have to live in if we wish to break free.  Some of you won't like the way others will try to pull you out of that comfort zone, some of you will flourish upon it. some will take offence.   There are many methods, and all of us are teachers and students when it comes to learning about how to get through to someone. However in the field of smoking cessation, and specifically of learning to be a happy non smoker, well it's like learning to read.  you just do it, and then you know it, it doesn't take effort to remember how to do it, and no more learning will be needed to stop you from forgetting it.  You just can, or you can not.  My ability to read is not something I feel complacent about, it's something I feel confident about.
     
    there are some people on the train, who are really just riding it because they know that the train is run by volunteers, and they volunteer their time, and experience, to pay for the free ticket that was once passed to them by a friendly face many years before.  Sometimes they challenge the distorted logic of the junkie, out of love and compassion for the person trapped inside, the person that reminds them of themselves, sometimes they get hugged, and sometimes they get shouted at.  they know the risks of engaging the junkie, they were once the junkie too, they mostly say the things that are now so obvious to them, but once were not. They have ridden the train so much, that they know every single inch of track, they know it inside out.  and they knew the moment they reached their destination.  It was the same destination for all of them.  it was the place where they found inner peace, no junkie chatter, no doubt, no desire or need to smoke, and no way on earth to return to smoking, without making a deliberate decision to sign up for slow suicide.
     
    I believe that is the destination that we are all trying to reach, regardless of where we boarded the train, and regardless of how rough or smooth, or long, or short our journey was.
     
    I sincerely look forward to welcoming you there, each and every last one of you.
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/1045-where-does-the-train-go/
     
     
  22. jillar

    Reclaiming Our Comfort

    By jillar,


    General
    DenaliBlues
    Quit Date: 2/10/2022
     
    Posted 16 hours ago 
     
    So sorry you are ill and feeling skunky, @Linda.  I’ve felt the same way. This wily addiction sure likes to try and strike when we are feeling low or unawares. Stay strong!
     
    Bear with me as I try to express something for you, for me, for all of us who suffer… there is something important about “comfort” that quitting requires us to reclaim. I think smoking hijacked our ability to feel comfort. Instead of receiving tender care, we received ugly toxins and the manipulative mind games that come with addiction. Smoking was much less gratifying than it was cracked up to be. But Addict Mind wants to smoke anyway. So it’s telling me (falsely) that I am bereft of all comfort.
     
    The thing is, we are not bereft. We just need to reprogram how we’re habituated, to give ourselves ACTUAL kindness and care, not crappy chemical substitutes.
     
    There are days when it feels impossible to experience being soothed without smoking. But I try. It’s a great creative challenge to find other ways. And when I simply can’t comfort myself, I benefit from attempting to give kindness or comfort to others. I have VERY happy cats since I quit… lol.
     
    Link to original post:  https://www.quittrain.com/topic/21298-crazyness/
     
  23. jillar

    Why Did I Join A Quit Smoking Forum?

    By jillar,


    General
    Tink
    Quit Date: 22/11/2013
    Posted April 13, 2014 
     
    I am not a social media buff, I only have facebook where its my family and friends, people I have known most my life or who I trust and feel comfortable around (I only have about 150 friends added)
     
     I was not good on computers, I can be a bit of a technology phobic -
     
    so why did I join a quit smoking forum?
     
    I really wanted to quit smoking is the answer and I did not feel that I could do it alone, I was looking for support, my whole family smoked and I needed support away from that environment, some place where I could just concentrate on me and my quit, no judgement, no keeping quiet about it and if I needed to moan or was going through a hard time, there was going to be someone looking out for me and keeping me on the straight and narrow when the going got tough because those people supporting had the same goal as me or had walked the path before me.
     
    As soon as I joined I was warmly welcomed and I felt apart of the place straight away
     
    I quickly learned that education, support and understanding played a huge part in me quitting smoking
     
    being around ex smokers who have no other interest but to help you quit smoking, no monies are to be made here, no corporate fog, no quit smoking tea is being sold here, its just truth and experiences and support and that gave me confidence and trust.
     
    Its just us ex smokers here, helping each other, educating each other and the thing I love the most is this forum is run by ex smokers 
     
    I hope that if you are thinking about quitting or have quit and are looking for what I was to help you then please consider joining - I have not regretted one single second of my experience here on QuitTrain.
     
    Kind Regards 
     
    Tracey
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/595-why-did-i-join-a-quit-smoking-forum/
     
  24. jillar

    5 Secrets for quitting smoking

    By jillar,


    General
    Jenny
    Quit Date: 05/24/2012
     
    Posted December 26, 2014 
     
    1. It’s never too late to quit. While it’s best to quit smoking as early as possible, quitting smoking at any age will enhance the length and quality of your life. You’ll also save money and avoid the hassle of going outside in the cold to smoke. You can even inspire those around you to quit smoking!
    2. Learn from past experiences. Most smokers have tried to quit before and sometimes people get discouraged thinking about previous attempts. Instead, treat those experiences as steps on the road to future success. Think about what helped you during those tries and what you’ll do differently in your next quit attempt.
    3. You don’t have to quit alone. Telling friends and family that you’re trying to quit and enlisting their support will help ease the process. PLUS there is the QUITTRAIN where you get support 24/7 from people who can relate.
    4. Medication can help, if you know how to use them.  Many folks don’t use them correctly or don’t use them long enough, so be sure to follow the directions.
    5. Every smoker can quit. Each person needs to find the right combination of techniques for them and above all, they need to keep trying.
     
     
    Quitting isn’t easy but 50 million ex-smokers in the United States are proof that it’s possible. Make 2015 the year you begin a new, smokefree life!
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/3954-5-secrets-for-quitting-smoking/
     
  25. jillar

    We can not be casual smokers

    By jillar,


    General
    Jonny5
    Quit Date: 2011-12-21
     
    Posted April 14, 2014 
     
    If you could, you already would be.  There are some who can really genuinely take it or leave it.  I read once that 90% of nicotine users become addicted. the others don't persue a smoking career so to speak, or smoke occasionally with no withdrawals.
     
    That is not you.
     
    You are a nicotine addict, that is why you are reading this, and that is why you can't just have the occasional smoke.
     
    we are all or nothing, The law of addiction states that reintroduction of the addictive substance to the addict will reawaken the addiction and start the withdrawal process over again.
     
    it can not be any other way for us.
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/637-we-can-not-be-casual-smokers/
     

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QuitTrain®, a quit smoking support community, was created by former smokers who have a deep desire to help people quit smoking and to help keep those quits intact.  This place should be a safe haven to escape the daily grind and focus on protecting our quits.  We don't believe that there is a "one size fits all" approach when it comes to quitting smoking.  Each of us has our own unique set of circumstances which contributes to how we go about quitting and more importantly, how we keep our quits.

 

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