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jillar

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Blog Entries posted by jillar

  1. jillar

    Think you need just one?

    By jillar,


    General
    Nancy
    Quit Date: 07/07/2013
     
    Posted September 18, 2014 
     
    I have to have a cigarette, RIGHT NOW  
    By tahoehal  on November 26 2008 
     
     
    Picture yourself a second or two after you stub out that quit-breaking cigarette. The one that you just had to have because the craving was so strong you couldn't hold out any longer, when that voice inside you was saying.. "Go on, life sucks, you may as well smoke a cig.. y'know for your nerves.." or the other one.. "you've got this beat now.. you are in control.. you can have one just now and again.. go on have one for old time's sake.." So you bum a cigarette, and smoke it and in 2 and 1/2 minutes, you stub it out.

    Now what. Your mouth feels like crap. Your lungs are tightening up. You managed to stifle the coughs .. but barely. You began to squint again because the smoke hurt your eyes. and your fingers and clothes smell again. You either want to throw up, grab some mouthwash, take a shower, or have another.. maybe buy a pack.

    But then you realize what you've just done. After all those times when you said you were going to quit, and then when you finally did, and your family and friends were so happy for you - but not exactly over the moon, because after all they've been hopeful before only to see you relapse - all that enthusiasm is now smashed to pieces on the floor. And all the pressure that drove you to grab that cigarette in the first place - it's all still there. Nothing has changed, except now you've added one more problem: you just blew it. 

    And then you realize what you've really done. You had invested days, maybe weeks and months, in this quit. You had made a great decision, one of the few things you really and truly felt proud of in your life, and you just blew it. You just blew the quit that you swore to yourself was the last one. You were so positive, so motivated, and encouraged, you were really on top of it, ahead of the game for once, you had taken control of your life and it felt like a whole new beginning.. and you just blew it.

    You look at that stub in the ashtray. The grey ash and the brown edge to the burnt paper, and the tar stain on the end of filter. You remember the thousands of cigarettes you have stubbed out and think about the tar that came into your lungs as smoke. And you think if smoking that one cigarette was worth it. Nothing's better. You feel a little dizzy now as the nicotine hits your body, even a little nauseous - certainly don't feel the pleasure that you remember the adverts and billboards were promoting during your early years as a smoker. In fact it's hard to remember any time when you felt that pleasure.. just another tobacco company lie.. They helped you to become an addict the first time, but when you smoked that cigarette after you quit.. well that was a whole new decision. You made that one all by yourself - there's no pointing fingers now, you know that cigarettes kill, so when you lit that one cigarette, the choice to smoke was all yours - no-one else to blame. And you just blew it. 

    It wasn't worth it.. time after time the slippers' and relapsers' lament how they feel like crap, how ashamed they are, how they have lost confidence and hope, how they hate themselves, how much it hurts, how depressed and they cry and hide and cry some more. And now you are one of them.. the quit losers. Lost in the wilderness, not quite a smoker.. yet and not sure you are a quitter, searching for some dignity, some self-respect out of this. All because of that one cigarette. Because you blew it. 
    WITH JUST ONE 
    One Puff
    One Cigarette
    One Pack
    One Carton
    One Oxygen tank
    One Lung
    One Chemotherapy
    One Funeral
    One less.


    Hal 08-20-2004
    A puff is too much, a thousand cartons are not enough. 
                       
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/2719-think-you-need-just-one/
    *Edited to remove broken link to outside source
  2. jillar

    Smoking affects more than your lungs

    By jillar,


    General
    Colleen
    Quit Date: 6/2/13
     
    Posted April 21, 2014 
     
    This can't be a complete list, I am sure.  There's a good chance you weren't aware of at least one of the diseases.  I would have never connected blindness to smoking.  
     

     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/833-smoking-affects-more-than-your-lungs/
     
  3. jillar

    Triggers after you quit

    By jillar,


    General
    Jenny
    Quit Date: 05/24/2012
     
    Posted March 30, 2014 
     
    Throughout your quit you are likely to be faced with events that bring thoughts of smoking back to the forefront of your mind.  I've been quit nearly two years (28 year smoker)  and while it does not happen often, it still happens. Not like when you first quit and craving a cigarette can be a whole body experience, but more of a thought.  Your mind after so many years of smoking has been conditioned to think that a cigarette is what you need when you are stressed, mad, sad and even happy.  We told ourselves lies for so many years to justify the need to get our fix.  We allowed ourselves to believe that a cigarette helped us in these situations.  Of course it didn't.  It was just the addiction talking.  We just needed nicotine and no justification for that was deemed ridiculous, even though it was.   In the words of a wonderful woman named Susan, a thought to smoke is never a command.  Remember why you quit and push those thoughts away.  Always keep the quit.
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/19-triggers-after-you-quit/
     
  4. jillar
    Martian5
    Quit Date: 01/04/2018
     
    Posted May 29, 2019 
     
    We all know the more known problems from years of smoking (Cancer, COPD, Heart problems and such) but their are some problems that are lesser known.
    Today I am going to the dentist to start fixing my mouth.  Most of the problems are tied in with my smoking over those many years, something I really did not think about. For the past year it has been very difficult for me to eat and also a lot of pain. Now I have been dealing with COPD (at this point stage 1 and has done much better since quitting and not really advancing at this point) but now I have to deal with all these upcoming dental appointments to include 3 different appointments for oral surgery (first this morning) then several appointments to replace several missing teeth.  I do not enjoy going to the dentist but most of all I do not enjoy what this will be doing to my wallet.  At this point it is going to be close to $20,000.00  (there goes all the money I have been saving from my quitting).  The main point here is not sympathy for me but to let others know to include those that are lurking and have yet to make the choice to quit is that you really need to understand everything that smoking cigarettes can do to you.  It all sneaks up on you and will cost you both to health and to your wallet.  I have done this to myself and I must take accountability for my actions but hopefully others will see this and do some serious thinking!!!!!!!
     
    Quit now so that you can live a better life in so many ways!!!!!
     
    Sorry about the long post but I get really anxious about going to the dentist, oh alright -- scared, and it is about an hour before I can take the sedative -- anyway good day to all.
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/12490-lesser-known-medical-problems-from-smoking/
     
  5. jillar

    Why being part of a Forum helps

    By jillar,


    General
    JackiMac
    Quit Date: 1st November 2018
     
    Posted February 9, 2015 
     
    I was sitting thinking today, that over the last year I have had two relapses, and this is my 3rd attempt in a year to quit, now I am seriously beginning to realise that way back last year I would not have even attempted to quit if it had not been for finding, joining and taking part in this Forum, being able to see that I am not alone, that there are different ways to quit, that not everyone's quit is the same, that it doesnt matter if you relapse the support is here to help you re- quit, seeing so many quitters who have been committed to keeping the quit, helping others that are struggling, offering support and advice its amazing, being part of this forum has certainly prompted me to keep on and get to my sticky quit.  Outside of the forum we have our Doctors, leaflets, internet advice, not quite the 24/7 help and support we all need, and the beauty of it is, all it takes is the touch of a button and we can interact with someone, talk out our quit, socialise, laugh, share things and connect.  Pretty amazing isn't it.  I can honestly say that if I hadn't stumbled across my little family in the corner of the internet my relapse last year would still be my relapse now, it was the thought of everyone here, that pushed me that little bit harder to come back and to try again.  So glad I did.  Quitting smoking is one of the most amazing things that you can do, one of the others is joining this forum.  Quitting is no longer a scary and lonely trip but more of an adventure with people who care and support, leading you to live a better, healthier stronger and more fulfilling life.  
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/4421-why-being-part-of-a-forum-helps/
     
  6. jillar
    sharonsiff
    Quit Date: 12 June 2013
     
    Posted January 12, 2015 
     
    I have added this video I found to Chyrs relapse post but I'll put it out here too. Explains the 3 stages of a relapse Emotional, Mental and Physical. This would have been a fabulous video for me during my first months and hopefully will be of use to others who may need it now.
     
     
     
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/4154-a-relapse-prevention-plan-the-tools-of-recovery/
     
     
  7. jillar

    How to do nothing without smoking

    By jillar,


    General
    beacon
     
    Posted November 22, 2014 
     
    Good video. This is what I struggled with. Still if I get a thought about smoking it is when I am relaxed and doing nothing and not when I am stressed.
     
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/3552-how-to-do-nothing-without-smoking/
     
  8. jillar

    Emphysema... Explained...

    By jillar,


    General
    Doreensfree
    Quit Date: 7 /8/2013
     
    Posted October 14, 2018 
     
     
     
     
    This is a crippling illness.... Slowly getting worse....
    My hubby has suffered for years....needs oxygen regularly for 16 hrs a day....
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/11235-emphysema-explained/
     
  9. jillar
    jillar
    Posted November 30 
     
     
    *A lifetime of freedom from nicotine.
    *Worldwide support from members in all phases of quitting and who know and can relate to what you may go through at any given time in your quit.
    *Tons of educational material about our addiction to nicotine. Be it by reading, watching videos or asking other members. We have it all 
     
    So what do you have to lose by becoming a member?
     
    ACT NOW and you can go into the New Year COMPLETELY SMOKE FREE! You heard that right folks. No more burn holes everywhere
     

     
     
    No more stale smoke stink on you and all your stuff
     

     
     
    AND we already told you about all the extra CASH
     

     
     
    All this and there's STILL MORE! Yep, we've saved the best for last. Quit now and enjoy better health and less colds. Better circulation, pinker gums, the list goes on and on... 
     

     
     
    So give yourself the ultimate gift this holiday season. You won't regret it 
                                              
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/14789-free-to-all-new-members-who-register/
     
     
  10. jillar

    The choices we make

    By jillar,


    General
    Sunnyside
    Quit Date: 02/01/22
     
    Posted December 2, 2016 
     
    We all chose to smoke and stick to it. When you first started it never became easy to you.
     
    You had to work to make it feel natural. You had to work to become a full time smoker.
     
    All the discomfort of coughing, head spinning, feeling sick didn't stop you from carrying on. Going around and around with the constant cravings never stop you.
     
    Now years of conditioning later you have now decided the you want to quit. Now it's about pay the price for the choices that you made because you smoked or pay an even bigger price later on for not going through this now.
     
    It sounds harsh and brutal but this is completely true! Which price do you want to pay?
     
    You had to retrained your brain and body to smoke. Now put that same effort into retraining yourself to stop. You can do it. Just put the same effort in.
     
    Just as it got easier in time to smoke and it became natural,a part of you and you could never see the end.
     
    IF you stop you will get to the point that you will look at smokers and it won't look natural or right to you.
     
    Further along it does get easier. Life becomes normal again.
     
    Remember it's your choice. It always has been.
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/7786-the-choices-we-make/
     
     
  11. jillar
    MarylandQuitter
     
    Quit Date: 10/07/2013
     
    Posted October 4, 2014 
     
    is that you may not ever quit again.  This is a very realistic outcome if you choose to smoke again.  We've all heard that smoking doesn't make anything better when in fact it makes it worse.  It's doesn't calm you down, solve your problems and instead costs a small fortune and kills you.
     
    If you've started again, quit and right the ship.  If you're thinking about smoking again, quickly get that thought under control and make a decision based on facts, not emotion.  Emotion is what has always caused me to relapse.  I was pissed off, stressed or in some funk. 
     
    Here are a couple of videos to give you some things to think about work through this.  Just hang on, before you know it these rough times will pass.  Stay positive and stick around here.  With the nuts we have here (I'm the lead nut, thank you very much) you can't help but stay at least a little bit positive.
     
    The Power Of Nicotine Addiction
    Video explains the full power of the grip that nicotine can take on an individual and the consequences that can be faced if a person does not quit smoking.
     
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TpYRrZG5l8A
     
    Who Wants To Go Back To Smoking?
    This video discusses how former smokers at times think they want to go back to smoking, but if they really remind themselves of the package deal that goes along with being a smoker, it will be easy for them to stick to their quit.
     
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DG9qGjf2hd8&list=PL76365B6CE2DA076B
     
    Are You Stronger Than Your Cigarettes?
    This video discusses the importance of understanding that you won't be able to quit smoking and stay free by becoming stronger than cigarettes but rather by becoming smarter than nicotine.
     
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxLxDuTOCT0
     
    "It's Inevitable, Some Smokers Are Going To Relapse" 
    If you are a member of any quit smoking support group, whether it be online or a live program, it is likely that some members of your group are going to fail. You should not interpret this fact to mean that it is likely or inevitable that you are going to fail. Video spells out the major difference between people who relapse and those who don't.
     
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ego_dpPmfOk
     
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/2942-the-thing-about-relapse-or-considering-it/
     
     
  12. jillar

    Fearing the Crave

    By jillar,


    General
    Jenny
    Quit Date: 05/24/2012
     
    Posted November 9, 2014 
     
    Cravings are the most feared in a quit and we all know they can be uncomfortable. It's this fear that keeps many of us from even attempting to quit smoking. The fear of being uncomfortable.  We feel this way even though we know that smoking related disease is probably not terribly comfortable either.....addiction is so not rational....
     
    The addiction wants to manipulate you into believing that there is no way you could ever survive quitting.  No way you could ever get through a minute, hour or day feeling like you want to smoke and not give in.  
     
    Seriously.....Pffft.  We're tougher than that.  It's all just hype designed to keep you smoking.  A crave is not a command to smoke.  Just because you feel it, does not mean you need to act on it.  Acknowledge it and move on.  As time goes on, those craves will fade away and in it's place will be a person who stood up and took control of their life.  There is no greater feeling than that.  No greater feeling.
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/3385-fearing-the-crave/
     
  13. jillar

    Wise words.....'Embrace The Suck'

    By jillar,


    General
    Soberjulie
     
    Posted November 7, 2015 
     
    I dunno if Sarge still posts here but some of his no nonsense, shoot from the hip, tell it like it is words helped me immensely in my first days...weeks...months.
    The best:
    Embrace The Suck.
     
    You'll have moments, many moments, where quitting just plain sucks.
    If you're anything like me, you'll think of throwing the towel in....because...."the way I feel sucks!"
     
    Embrace the suck.
    Accept it.
    Head down and power through it!
     
    Wherever you are Sarge.....thank you.
    I've earned them stripes!
    I'm coming up on 2 years.......and I never ever have to 'embrace the suck' in regards to nicotine anymore.
    But Embrace The Suck has been instrumental in many areas of my life
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/6233-wise-wordsembrace-the-suck/
     
  14. jillar

    Why N.O.P.E is a must!

    By jillar,


    General
    Jenny
     
    Quit Date: 05/24/2012
     
    Posted March 30, 2014 
     
    I love this article on why you can't have just one.   It Takes Just One Cigarette to Relapse.
    January 14, 2013 by Cameron Kellett
     
    You will never smoke again. Accepting this is perhaps the most daunting aspect of quitting smoking and nicotine addiction recovery.
     
    The thought of never having another cigarette can be so overwhelming, that smokers will willingly go to the grave an addict and never again taste a life free from the disease addiction.
    If you have decided you no longer want to be a drug addict always in need, the reality of never smoking again is what you must ultimately confront.
    In order to heal from addiction and achieve freedom you must be completely resolved to never smoke another cigarette again. Why?
     
    Because the next smoke is always going to be just one cigarette. As will the next one and the next one and the next one!
    You see, the thing with healing from nicotine addiction, is that it relies on a large number of neurons and neural connections within your brain metabolizing and breaking down due to INACTIVITY!.
    The moment you smoke, especially during the early stages, you re ignite weakened connections that have been laying dormant. Instead of allowing them to break down, you re invigorate them and in turn, re enforce them.
    Quitting immediately becomes harder.
     
    To be free, you have to heal, and to heal, you must absolutely not smoke. Having a smoke will always be a step backward.
    Having a smoke will always be a step backward.
    There are going to be times, even in the medium to long term, the deceiving allure of tobacco will force you to recall the high of dopamine that came after relieving withdrawal.
     
    If you find yourself arguing that “just one cigarette,” won’t hurt, you are in all likelihood, not fully resolved to quitting. Chances are, you’re also not prepared for long term recovery and have possibly quit under false expectations.
    Full recovery takes many months and there will be many craves and many individual neural connections to break down.
    Of the very small percentage of smokers who relapse after medium to long term recovery, each and every one started with just one cigarette. If you decide that one cigarette won’t hurt, you will almost certainly spend the rest of your life a miserable full time smoker.
     
    Recovery always begins and ends after your LAST cigarette and never, ever, the next.
     
    The fact is, until you choose to not smoke, EVER, you will never become a happy and free non smoker. Recovery always begins and ends after your LAST cigarette and never, EVER, the next.
    If you find yourself debating whether to have just one cigarette, ask yourself this question:
        Are you willing to undo everything you have achieved, all the recovery you have been through, and waste all that pain you have suffered, just to satisfy an extremely short and          momentary whim?
        A whim that will pass in less than a second if you allow it too.
        No?
        Then I guess it’s time to get on with enjoying the rest of your life!
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/20-why-nope-is-a-must/
     
     
  15. jillar
    notsmokinjo
    Quit Date: 28/11/2017
     
    Posted October 9, 2018 
     
    Are you afraid to QUIT? ... I was.
     
    Are you scared that you will fail or fail again? ... Yep, me too.
     
    Is your fear that it will be too hard? .... kinda
     
    Is your fear you just can't do it? ... that too
     
    Is your fear quitting will make you sick? ... yep
     
    Is your fear quitting will hasten you death? ... Absolutely petrified this would be the case and as irrational as it was it was the biggest fear I faced.
     
    You know what I learnt when I quit? ..... I learnt fear is just a tool nicotine used to control me... it was irrational and built out of proportion. I have been quit for over 10 months now and if anything I am angry with myself that I wasted so many years smoking because I was scarred for all the reasons above.
     
    Have I failed?.... not yet, and I wont,  I have no intentions of failing, I feel comfortable saying this feels different than any previous quit. I'm an addict, I'll always be an addict, I'll always be one puff away from a pack a day... but I know that, I embrace that and I really don't want that one puff ever.
     
    Was it too hard??? .... Hell no, it was actually easier than I thought it would be... not saying it wasn't hard my lovelies because it was... but it was nowhere near as hard as I had let fear build it up to in my mind. I've certainly done much harder things in my life but then again I've done much easier things too... facing my fears head on and not using them as an excuse to not try has made it easier than I thought it could ever be.
     
    Could I do it???  ...... YES... I could and you can too... its simple,  don't put anything in your mouth and set it on fire... after that first 24 hours, I know I could do a day without smoking, I'd done it... so I only have to last 24 hours... then when that's up I only have to last another one.... 10 months later people and here I am doing this every day... same way I'm going to be doing it for the rest of my days.
     
    So did quitting make me sick???.....  NOPE.... not one bit, didn't even get bronchitis this winter and its been a long time since that was the case. So if you have been lurking you might know I have some health issues that came to light after I quit but had I not quit it would have been too late to do anything to make me better... so no, quitting did not make me sick, it is helping to cure me.
     
    Am I dead??? ......NOPE... obviously... and some of you may be scratching your heads at this one.... but for nearly a decade I was terrified to quit, I had worked the fear almost to the point of phobia, occasionally I still have nightmares that because I am not smoking I will die... Is this chick frickin' crazy? I hear you ask yourselves.... well yes, we all know that I am, but my brain and the hold I let nicotine have over it turned a failed quit attempt (that saw me end up in hospital in a coma post a PE from a DVT) into nearly a decade of 'certainty' that if I tried to quit again I would die. I mean break out in a sweat at the thought of it fear. Long story short, I used a quit method and had a bad reaction to it that caused a DVT that turned into a Pulmonary Embolism ... so 3 days in a coma, nearly 2 weeks in hospital and what was the first thing I did when I walked out the door... I lit up.... and then I convinced myself, or let my addiction convince me, that I should never try to quit again because next time I wouldn't be leaving the hospital.... BUT am I dead???? NOPE.... Will I die??... well of course I will, we all will, but what I can guarantee you 100% is that quitting will not be why I died.
     
    So what did I have to Fear???.... NOTHING, my fears were all like wisps of smoke... I blew against them and they dispersed into the ether leaving me smoke free, nicotine free.... leaving me free.
     
    And guess what, you too can face your fear.
     
    Don't let a fear that has festered and grown because of an addiction's want of control over you be the thing that stops you from quitting. Use today, International Face Your Fears Day... to do just that, face your fear and take back your life. Just over 10 months ago I did and it was the best gift I have ever given myself.
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/11208-scared-to-quit-face-your-fears-i-did-and-lived-to-tell/
     
  16. jillar

    One less thing to worry about

    By jillar,


    General
    Lust4Life
    Quit Date: Sept 26 2016
     
    Posted October 9, 2018 
     
    Those of you that know me from QSMB know that I was a secret smoker.  Closet smoker.  Naïve smoker.  Pick a label any label.  I lived in constant fear.  Constant worry.
     
    Fear of being outed.   So much worry. Which cracks me up now because smokers stink no matter what is done to mask it.   Pretty sure my smoking was the pink elephant in the room no one talked about.  Yay!
     
    I had an ongoing checklist.   Do I have air freshener in my car,  face wipes, baby powder? Mints, gum, mouthwash?.  Do I have time to drive around the block again and keep smoking?   Never ending cycle of worry.
     
    Before leaving for a night out- do I have enough cigs?  Better get another pack.  I never bought cigs by the carton.  Only real smokers bought cigarettes by the carton.  Right?  Hahahahaha!  Oh my.
     
    When out in public; the worry of being spotted was ever present.   Go outside around the building, downwind, hide behind that tree.  Constant worry.   
     
    When home – did I empty and hide the ashtrays?  Did I sweep away the ashes in case we have a drop in visitor?  Can my neighbor see or smell the smoke?   Are the bugs out yet?  In the South, we have some bugs.   Your home can be as clean as an OR and you’ll still have some bugs inside.  Outside…game on.  Gigantic mutant roaches that fly.  Mosquitoes that steal gallons of your blood from one bite.
     
    Hurricane Michael is knocking on the shores of my home State.  I checked with family-everyone has everything.  He’ll barrel through some more of the SE.  We have prepared and have what we need. 
     
    Gas tank is full in both cars.  We have batteries.  We have containers of water in the freezer.   Pantry is stocked.  All devices are perched on chargers until the power goes.  And, it will go.  Matches for candles and grills.
     
    The cigarettes are at the store.  I don’t have any. 
     
    I am not worried about that.
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/11212-one-less-thing-to-worry-about/
     
  17. jillar

    Restless

    By jillar,


    General
    babs609
    Quit Date: 07/13/2012
     
    Posted February 6, 2015 
     
    That's the word I used during the acute phase of my quit.  If I called it a "craving" I felt like it had power over me......as if the only thing that will ease that craving is the very thing that caused it and nothing will ever feel normal again..I will never feel relaxed or content again.  To me..the word "craving" went parrallel with "feed the craving"
     
    But when I changed the wording to "restless", it took a whole new meaning for me.  Restlessness occurred because my body is going back to the state it was in before I became a smoker.  Just because I'm restless..is it really my body telling me I need a smoke?  Or is it my junkie brain that's telling me that.  There are all kinds of emotions and feelings that cause us to be restless...hunger, thirst, fatigue, anger, lonliness...and these emotions are exacerbated when we quit smoking.
     
    I knew that the restless feeling was a good thing...it reminded me I was winning the battle every single day.  I knew every day I was able to co-exist along with this restlessness...that it would make me stronger and that much closer to a relaxed place where I felt content and satisfied. 
     
    This newfound attitude is what got me through it.....one day at a time. Committing to NOPE.  No matter what..
     It also spilled over into helping me stay strong and take charge of my health in regards to my diet and regular exercise.  Just because I'm restless doesn't mean I'm hungry.  If I'm restless..then maybe I'm just thirsty...maybe I need to go for a run or a walk.  Maybe I need to call a friend and vent, maybe I'm horny, maybe I'm bored or tired....
    It helped me to be more in tune with my body and recognize exactly what I'm feeling so I am able to address the proper issue..and not try to "guess" what the problem is.
     
    Feeling restless??  Find out why....chances are..it's not a "craving" for nicotine. (especially true after Hell week)
     
    Non smokers get restless too....as a matter of fact, today I feel very restless and still haven't figured out why...one thing I am SURE of..is that I'm not craving a cigarette. 
     
    Now....on to figure out what exactly is it that has me feeling uneasy and aggravated....not sure yet but I will figure it out.  I have more oxygen in my brain these days so, things come to light much quicker for me now 
     
     
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/4389-restless/
     
  18. jillar

    The Pattern of the Journey

    By jillar,


    General
    beacon
     
    Posted March 5, 2015
     
    I was thinking about the first few months of my quit and how I posted on the boards quite alot. I posted about dizziness, stomach aches, craves and anger and and clear lungs and weight gain and feelings of sheer joy. The first month, the first drink, the first vacation, the first taste, the first drs appointment, Each of these were special, unique, important to me, my experience. The old phartes commented, comforted, celebrated, and laughed.
     
    What I didn't know at the time was that 1000+ nonsmokers before me had posted very similar comments at very same time frame during their own quits. Yet these were their own unique experiences. The old phartes helped in very similar ways.
     
    Tthere is a pattern , a standard journey of the quit that we all follow, experiencing the same thing as we journey. This means we can rely on the nonsmokers on the path ahead who tell us how it will be if we continue to travel. True release. True freedom. This is what they are telling us and we can believe it is true.
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/4682-the-pattern-of-the-journey/
     
  19. jillar

    You Need A Smoke ?

    By jillar,


    General
    Sazerac
    Quit Date: October 23, 2013, A Good Day to be Free.
     
    Posted July 31, 2016 
     
    All you quitters will remember this scenario, all you smokers don't have to live it anymore.
     
    "Man, gimme a smoke.  I just need a smoke.   Everything is just too much.  I need a smoke."
    "ahhh.  thanks, that's better."
     
    Really ? 
    What's better ? 
    The situation is still the same situation.  Nothing is better, things are just what they were. 
    The only thing that changed is you are chilled because you fed your addiction.  You are a good slave. An obedient Slave.
     
    What seems better is only an illusion....what was accomplished ? 
    You delayed withdrawal symptoms for another twenty minutes until the next crave.
    In twenty minutes or so, no matter what is going on...real crisis or no, 
    you will have another crisis, the need to feed your addiction again
    because you are a good slave, a very good slave.
    The Truth is you don't need that smoke. 
     
    You need to get a grip and stop your blind obedience to nicotine addiction. 
    Your body and mind need to remember how to live.
     
    Your body needs water, food, rest,
    deep delicious breaths of oxygen.
    You Need to be Free.
     
    Remember when you were Free ?
    Maybe you don't remember because addiction has hijacked your brain and your soul.
    No worries,  you WILL remember how to be free. 
    It's simple.  It's Freedom.
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/7355-you-need-a-smoke/
     
  20. jillar

    Are you thinking of quitting?

    By jillar,


    General
    Soberjulie
     
    Posted April 16, 2014 
     

     
    In other words, begin where you are.
    But begin.
    Please stop waiting.
    Sometimes delay can have very serious consequences. 
    As an addict I wanted the parade, the grand announcement, the regal launch, the ceremonial countdown, the press conference, the complete preparation with the guarantee of success before I thought I could start......before I could visualize what starting even looked like.
    Working through these things, waiting to make them happen, burns through precious time. And it is a trick.....a trick that addiction plays to keep us enslaved. 
    Begin where you are, but begin.
    If all you can do is crawl,
    start
    crawling.
    One moment at a time, if you don't pick up that cigarette you'll be up and dancing eventually.
    (Though at first, most of us tend to complain about the music a bit till we find our own rhythm, but that's okay too. It's just a mask for our fear of being judged for how we dance. Stay on the dance floor and that will fall away.) 
     
    Link to original post:  https://www.quittrain.com/topic/698-are-you-thinking-of-quitting/
     
  21. jillar

    Isolation Of A Widowed Smoker

    By jillar,


    General
    MarylandQuitter
    Quit Date: 10/07/2013
     
    Posted August 2, 2014 
    This is sad, but it hit home for me.  Different circumstances and a generation gap, this was me.  How lonely I really was and smoking was never the friend I had thought it was.  This could be any one of us should we ever take another puff from one of those death sticks.
     
    Life had become a boring routine. She had just been going through the motions of maintaining a normal semblance of existence. Waking up, having a cigarette. Washing up and brushing her teeth, having a cigarette. Eating breakfast, having a cigarette. Doing some light cleaning, vacuuming, dusting, and having a cigarette. Watching a little television while having a cigarette. Preparing a sandwich for lunch, having a cigarette. Taking a short nap, waking up for a cigarette. Reading the newspaper, having a cigarette. Making a list of needed groceries, having a cigarette. Getting ready to do some light shopping, having a cigarette. Driving to the local market, having a cigarette. About to enter the store, but stopping to have a cigarette. Checking out at the cash register, leaving the store and having a cigarette. Going home and starting to prepare dinner, having a cigarette. Eating dinner, having a cigarette. Clearing the table and washing the dishes, having a cigarette. Watching a little television, having a couple of cigarettes. Washing up, brushing her teeth and getting dressed for bed, having a cigarette. Getting into bed, having a cigarette. Going to sleep.
     
    Ever since the loss of her husband many years ago, nothing in her normal daily existence seemed to give her life any meaning or any real happiness. Weeks would go by with her barely cracking a smile. Almost nothing seemed to bring her joy anymore. But this day was starting differently. After breakfast her phone rang. She ran for a cigarette. On the fourth ring she made it to the phone and picked up the receiver. It was her daughter. She lived only an hour away, but because of her career, her husband's schedule and the kid's school, soccer, piano, ballet lessons, etc., they only were able to visit occasionally. Well, to her pleasant surprise, she found out that they were coming on Saturday to spend the day.
     
    For the first time in weeks she seemed truly happy. As soon as she hung up the phone she grabbed for a cigarette. She had to start planning and preparing to see the kids. She called her beauty shop to make an afternoon appointment. When she hung up the phone she took a cigarette. She got dressed and ready to go shopping, and right before leaving, she took a cigarette. In the car driving to the store she hurriedly smoked two cigarettes for she knew she could not smoke while in the store. She hurriedly went up and down the aisles, with a certain bounce in her step for she was still so excited about the visit. When she left the store she hurried to her car and lit a cigarette. She went home, put away the groceries, prepared and ate a quick bite, smoked a cigarette and hurriedly left the house to be on time for her beauty shop appointment. While she was there she smoked and conversed with the other patrons, glowing as she told of her exciting weekend news.
     
    When she got home, she smoked a cigarette, and starting preparing a turkey for the big Saturday night meal. She smoked and ate, smoked and cooked and smoked and prepared for bed. One last cigarette and she slowly dozed off, happy and excited about the joy of the upcoming day.
     
    When she woke up she excitedly grabbed for her first cigarette. She got up and cleaned and brushed her teeth, and took another cigarette. She ate breakfast and smoked again. She started preparing her feast and smoked numerous cigarettes. Even though she was not conscious of the fact, she was smoking more than normal. Through years of conditioning she had learned that since she couldn't smoke when around the grandchildren she had better have plenty of nicotine in her system by the time they arrived. A little last minute cleaning, and cooking and smoking. She was ready.
     
    The door bell rings. She hurries to the door and opens it up. There is her family. Everyone is excited. She goes to kiss the youngest, who says "Oh grandma, you smell like an ashtray!" She was used to these comments, she loved him anyway. After 15 minutes of talking with all the kids and her daughter and son-in-law, she and her daughter go to the kitchen to work on the dinner. After a couple of hours she starts to feel the twinge for a cigarette. But she knows she can't smoke. The kids are running through the house vigorously. As the hours pass, her patience becomes strained. Too much noise she thinks to herself, boy, does she wish she could smoke a cigarette. She starts to complain of a minor headache. They decide they better eat early, grandma is seeming a little tired and a little hassled. They sit down to eat. The food is good and everyone is enjoying.
     
    But grandma seems to be feeling worse and worse. Four hours have passed and still no cigarette. After dinner they all decide grandma needs some rest and mutually everyone agrees they will leave early. She kisses them all good-bye and rushes them out. As the door closes she hurries to her pack and smokes three cigarettes in a row. She finally starts to feel better. She now sits down in a quiet empty room thinking how lonely she feels and how sad that they had to leave so soon. But at least she has her cigarettes. But it had been a long day. She washes up, brushes her teeth, gets dressed for bed, and has one last cigarette.
     
    Tomorrow would be another routine day.
     
    Joel
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/2168-isolation-of-a-widowed-smoker/
     
  22. jillar
    Nancy
    Quit Date: 07/07/2013
     
    Posted December 30, 2015 · IP 
     
    Doreen and I were talking, and realized our husbands are the same age, 66.  That is about the only thing they have in common.  I am going to tell you first about my husband, Dennis, and then Doreen will be along to tell you about Tony. Hopefully there are smokers who will read this who still have the opportunity to choose which husband and father they would like to be.
     
    Dennis is a never smoker.  At 66, he still works 40 hours a week.  He enjoys golf, and boating.  He maintains our home and houseboat.  As many of you know, this past year he and his 70 year old brother totally remodeled the upstairs of our home. They took the kitchen down to the studs and rebuilt (and Dennis was still working 40 hours each week).  Dennis recently walked his oldest daughter down the aisle with pride.  He loves life and has a wonderful laugh.  He takes medicine to control blood pressure and cholesterol, but is in great health otherwise.
     
    Doreen will tell you about Tony, soon. 
     
    Doreensfree
    Quit Date: 7 /8/2013
     
    Posted December 30, 2015 · 
    I carnt post pictures, but I'm sure Tony would not want you all to see how sick he looks...
    Tony has end stage emphysema... He smoked until he physically couldn't put a cigarette in his mouth and smoke it..
    It takes all the strength and breath he has ..to just get out of bed in the morning...with my help...
    After a rest...he needs my help to wash...shave..
    Chair lift gets him downstairs...gets settled in a chair..where he stays till we have a bedtime routine.
    Emergency ambulances ,and hospital is never too far away...lung infections are almost on going..
    Doctors fight to keep pneumonia at bay...
    Because his blood doesn't retain oxygen...he needs a machine 16 hours a day....
    Sleeping with the mask on and the machine going all night is only half of it...
    Tony relies on me for everything...as sooon as he tries to move ...he is breathless...
    I have watched him the last 14 years slowly get worse ,this is a very cruel illness.
    I have shortened this thread...I could write a book...
    Tony and I don't know just how bad this will get...we live our lives on a daily basis..
    If you are out there reading this...wanting to quit...please do it now..
    I thank Nancy ....brilliant idea..
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/6446-a-tale-of-two-husbandswhich-will-you-be/
     
  23. jillar

    Why a Quit Sticks.

    By jillar,


    General
    El Bandito
    Quit Date: 27/01/2014
     
    Posted November 5, 2014 
     
    Now then, let's be perfectly clear
     
    My only expertise is a little experience in smoking and quitting smoking. I have watched some videos, read some books and shared with some fellow quitters. I have zero medical experience or expertise, in fact I look away when they show operations on medical dramas. No knowledge whatsoever of brain chemistry. 
     
    There is some true expertise knocking around on the forum - and a lot of it is pinned to the top of the boards - this however is just me shooting the breeze, sharing some experience and some observations.
     
    People choose to quit smoking for a variety of reasons. Some of them are deeply tragic personal experiences. The loss or debilitation of a loved one for example. Some are scared into it. Some just make a rational decision.
     
    Some people quit Cold Turkey. Some use NRT. Some use acupuncture, hypnosis. Some use Vaping. Some read books.
     
    I believe that it matters not a jot why someone chooses to quit or how they quit.
     
    Allen Carr, Joel, all sort of people have said this many many times - I am amazed at how long it has taken me to truly understand it. (Quite a thick head :rolleyes: )
     
    One thing matters.
     
    Understanding the con.
     
    Every single one of us believed that we enjoyed smoking, that smoking gave us a benefit of some kind. Allen Carr covers this in depth - he calls it the key.
     
    We spent years convincing ourselves that we liked stinking, liked poisoning ourselves and those around us, liked impoverishing ourselves, liked being slaves to a drug addiction. Even when we stop - we yearn for the 'carefree' cigarette.
     
    BOLLOCKS!
     
    The moment that one realises that smoking does not give us any benefit and NEVER did, that it was all an elaborate con trick, then the Quit is done. It sticks.
     
    The con has worked for decades. People have made millions, no billions, of Dollars - and they continue to do so in the developing world.
     
    Perhaps the strongest testament to the power of the con - is that they are doing it again - and new generations of people are falling for it.
     
    "Here, take a strange looking pen shaped object, suck it and enjoy some vapour. Yes! Vapour. It's cool. Look you can have coffee flavoured vapour! To make the vapour even better, we have added a special ingredient called nicotine - this nicotine is brilliant as an insecticide, at fooling receptors in your brain and here is the real kicker.....nicotine is an absolute superstar at addicting you - guaranteeing that you personally will pay US a fortune for the rest of your life. 10% off if you buy an extra pack!"
     
    People are queuing up to suck this stuff in.
     
    I see them interviewed on TV
     
    "why are you vaping?"
     
    "it's kinda cool yaknow? Relaxes me innit. I enjoy it"
     
    Really? Sucking a pen is cool? You enjoy it? What the flavour? The coffee flavour? Here's an idea - HAVE A COFFEE!
     
     
     
     
    A quit fails because a little part of us clings onto the idea (an idea being pushed all around us) that smoking was enjoyable.
     
    It wasn't.
     
    It is a con.
     
    Understand this, really understand it and come to rely on it when you feel the siren call of a cigarette -  and whether your quit started a year ago, a month ago, yesterday, today or even tomorrow - your quit will stick.
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/3345-why-a-quit-sticks/
     
  24. jillar

    So Amazing

    By jillar,


    General
    NOPEster
    Quit Date: February 4, 2017
     
    Posted July 30, 2018 
     
    Here I am visiting my sister in Norway for the first time as a non smoker. FYI my quit date was 2/5/17. I’ve never had such an easy time being a guest. My overseas flight over was enjoyable and stress free. I no longer constantly sneak off from the family for a cig. I can hike with the best of them. And I do not reek of smoke nor cough persistently. 
     
    I love my new independent life free from the nico-demon.  Best thing I ever did for myself. And I must remain ever so vigilant to keep and hold onto my precious quit. I’ve seen others in tourist areas here smoking and, just for a moment I’d like to have one too. But I say NOPE and think of the super folks on this forum and put that demon urge out of my mind. 
     
    If someone is reading this who is considering quitting, I truly hope you can go forward with your goal. It seemed such an impossible feat at first for me to quit but now I can look back on my hard work and see it wasn’t so bad because of ALL the great wonderful things I can do now. It’s so amazing how my new life as a non smoker is. 
     
     
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/10792-so-amazing/
     
  25. jillar

    My Friend Nick

    By jillar,


    General
    NADA
    Members
     
    Posted October 25, 2017 
     
    When I was thirteen years old this new kid, Nick, moved into my neighborhood.  At first I didn’t like him at all.  In fact, you could even say he made me sick.  But after a few weeks he started to grow on me and before you knew it we were hanging out daily.
     
    Nick seemed like the coolest kid on the planet…so much more mature than my childish peers.  And hanging out with him made me feel cool too.  Before long I found that I couldn’t stand being away from Nick.  Even for an hour.  My other friends were not impressed by Nick in the least.  They avoided me like the plague whenever he was around.
     
    Likewise, I found myself rejecting offers to do things with my friends because I didn’t want to be away from Nick for any extended period of time.  I just got too agitated and anxious.  As the years went by, I lived my life on Nick’s terms.  Whatever he wanted to do we did.  I no longer had any input.
     
    Nick always put me in extremely dangerous situations, but I felt powerless to contradict him.  This twisted relationship went on for decades.  I was allowing Nick to slowly, but inevitably, drag me to the precipice.
     
    One day I woke up hacking and coughing so violently I thought I was going to die.  Nick stood by my side with a blank smirk on his face.  I knew right then and there that he wasn’t going to help me.  He would let me wither away without a second thought.  Only I could help myself.
     
    So, on November 22, 2015 I kicked my friend Nick O. Demon to the curb and vowed never to hang out with him again.  My life, health, relationships and sense of well being have shot through the roof since I dumped that “friend”.  I do not miss him even one tiny bit.  Good riddance!
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/9243-my-friend-nick/
     

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QuitTrain®, a quit smoking support community, was created by former smokers who have a deep desire to help people quit smoking and to help keep those quits intact.  This place should be a safe haven to escape the daily grind and focus on protecting our quits.  We don't believe that there is a "one size fits all" approach when it comes to quitting smoking.  Each of us has our own unique set of circumstances which contributes to how we go about quitting and more importantly, how we keep our quits.

 

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