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Congratulations @DenaliBlues on your awesome quit. You've gone through some struggles and still give your all to support everyone here so I hope today you take the time to treat yourself! Xoxo

DenaliBlues Quit Date: 2/10/2022 Posted August 30 A lot of couples struggle when one person quits smoking and the other does not. I’ve been reflecting on recent Quit Train discussions on this topic, because for decades I was "the smoking spouse." I didn’t smoke in our home or in our car. But the smoke clung to me and was present everywhere I went. It caused a ton of tension with my mate. The stink. The health worries. The temptation to join in. She H-A-T-E-D my smoking. That felt like a very personal rejection to me. She knew I was a smoker before we got together (and even joined in sometimes), so why couldn’t she accept me for who I was? I was making my own choices. Why did she want me to give up something I loved? She had bad habits that bugged me, so why couldn’t I have a bad habit that bugged her? All of this felt very visceral and valid on the surface. But in actuality it was stinkin thinkin, and a rotten heap of rationalization. My smoking was not a mere “bad habit.” It was a raging addiction. And living with an addict is tough. Getting my fix of nicotine was always the priority, always the organizing principle of our lives, one that I superimposed on her without her consent. Smoking was how I spent a lot of my time and money. Over and over again, I’d walk away from her – literally and figuratively – to go smoke. Over and over again, I chose to put my own gratification first - above her feelings and fears. This de-centered and abandoned her in subtle but significant ways. Not the kind of spouse I wanted to be. My partner knew better than to try to force me to quit. She knew that breaking an addiction only happens from an internal commitment. But we still fought about it. And what I learned during those fights (eventually… begrudgingly… belatedly…) turned out to be important. It helped me recognize how my smoking affected her. I also became weary of all the tension around the issue. I had an ambivalent relationship with smoking anyway. Was it really worth all the crap it was causing? As this was percolating, I was also watching my father die. He was sick for many years, and my mother sacrificed everything for his care. It depleted her physically, financially, and emotionally. Watching that slow motion tragedy was instructive. I didn’t want that for my relationship. Getting old is hard enough, even without complications from smoking. There’s no predicting what the lotto of life will toss our way, but my smoking was unilaterally increasing the odds of a bad outcome that would affect her deeply. Again, not the kind of spouse I wanted to be. I ultimately made my own decision to stop smoking. My partner was not the only reason I quit, but it was a big one. To this day, supporting her wellbeing is something I can hold onto and use to protect my quit when cravings arise. Two highly independent people will always butt heads occasionally. I still annoy her sometimes, and vice versa. But quitting has right-sized our conflicts. Before I quit, small tensions absorbed extra energy from the major unresolved conflict between us (smoking). Refreshingly, now we just argue about dishes or yard work or whatever, without loaded subtext. I was fearful that I would feel resentful, but the opposite is actually true. Quitting is freeing. It's so much simpler. And the benefits for my partner are a beautiful part of my recovery journey. I’m grateful for the chance to be on this healing road, with plenty of help from the good souls here on the Quit Train. Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/26752-i-was-the-smoking-spouse/

You'll be fine @Kdad, just keep posting and getting through them one by one and they WILL get weaker I promise. You're doing great!

Congratulations @AceWhite on four years free! I hope you're doing good and will stop by to give us an update soon. Have a nice day

IamDoingIt Posted July 15, 2014 I do not care who you are! You do not just 'Get off the Quit Train....' You throw yourself head-first off a speeding train to land in the track bed below the train. You bounce down the railroad ties, bumping, flipping, twirling after the train. A few of the train's car wheels run you over and you may stick to the steel wheel....spinning 'round and 'round as other riders in the car sit comfortably in their quit. Soon, you are flipped off the wheel. Whew, thank God you didn't die! Well, since you're off the train, may as well have a smoke to get over that horrifying ordeal of hurtling yourself off the quit train. But wait!!!!! The quit train is continuing on without you! WAIT QUIT TRAIN, W A I T ! ! ! ! "I'm back here," you scream at the top of your lungs. Hmm....may as well light up again. This is getting out of hand! You keep taking puffs of cigarettes as you desperately chase after the train. With each puff, you see that train that you were once comfortably setting on, pull a little further away from you. You trip on a rail spike and split your chin on the rail. You dust yourself off and start chasing that train once again. The train is further down the tracks, almost out of sight. You struggle so hard to catch that train but each time you stop to light that cigarette, the train just keeps getting further away from you. Soon, the train is out of sight. You get tired of chasing after the train, so you decide to go back to the depot and wait for the train to pass on the next round. While waiting for the train (what's wrong? It should be here any minute), you buy another pack of smokes. You soon hear the train approach. You hear the whistle in the near distance. You are so excited!!!! To celebrate the arrival of the train, you pull out what you say will be your last cigarette and just as you inhale the first puff, the train amazingly flashes right by the depot without stopping to pick you up!!!! Why?!?!?! Why didn't the train stop for me this time? You ask yourself. Feeling defeated, you go home. On the way home you stop to pick up a carton of cigarettes. If the train will not stop for me, I sure as heck am not going to run out of smokes! You think to yourself. Every once in awhile, you will hear the Quit Train's whistle off in the distance. You remember how nice it was to be on the train. You wish you were still setting with your quit friends talking about every subject under the sun with them. You are envious of the people still on the train. Sometimes, you walk down by the tracks. When the train whizzes by, you get glances of the people inside. Look! There's MarylandQuitter, the Sarge, and Nancy. El Bandito, Beacon, Bakon, PetraD, ChristaC! So many faces you see, you cannot name them all. All the friendly faces who cared about you. You see each and every one of them. They flash by looking so comfortable. You don't see a few faces you expect to see. You wonder where they are. You suspect they did the exact same thing as you. You feel sad for them, but you feel sadder for yourself. A few of those riders (Marti, Ava, and MarylandQuitter) actually reach a hand out to you. As you reach your own hand back out to grab hold, you realize you can't grab hold because that would mean dropping the cigarette you are holding. You drop your head and turn around to go back home, wishing desperately you were on that train with them. You feel so bad you light another cigarette. Perhaps tomorrow, you'll grab hold. The next time you hear the train whistle, you are on the way to the convenience store to get another pack of cigarettes. You listen for a second and continue to the store as the Quit Train whistle dies off in the distance. When you are in your favorite smoking space, you often think of the Quit Train as you take a puff on one of the many smokes of the day. You remember what it was like on the train. You remember the freedom from nicotine you had. Oh, why, OH, WHY did you through yourself off? You ask yourself. Everything starts repeating, over and over....going to the station, watching the train pass, seeing the riders, all while holding a cigarette. Then one day, in whatever manner that happened to work....the stars aligned, the magic spell was cast, the dice were tossed, 7's came up, the moon was full....no matter the reason, things worked to go to the station without cigarettes. You once again make the trek to the station. You anxiously sit in the depot, perhaps even with the lingering smell of smoke on your body. Then you hear the whistle.... It came up very quick. Much quicker than when you were just dreaming and wishing to get on board. The train engine whizzes by the depot. Oh, no! The Quit Train is not going to stop for me again, you think to yourself. Then, as soon as the thought enters your mind, the train slams on the brakes and comes to a screeching halt with the door right in front of you. As soon as you put your foot on the step to enter, the train takes off again. You are back on the Quit Train. Finally!!!!!! You tentatively step through the doorway. Inside you see many faces you know, a few new ones and a few you expected are not there. The emotions on the passengers faces, as they look at you, range from sheer elation to see you, to frowns, and questioning. With a few pats on the back, a few hand shakes, and a few swift kicks in the ass, everyone welcomes you as you set down in a seat. Yes, folks, that is pretty much the journey I took in these last few months, but I am back. I did not get off the Quit Train, I hurled myself off by taking a puff. IamDoingIt is now back. Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/1969-you-dont-just-get-off-the-quit-train/

I believe what you're experiencing kdad is normal and part of our addiction to nicotine. The physical part of smoking is actually easier than the mental part. This is the part that we talk about taking a full year to get past most of the cravings that come up because each time we get past one it gets weaker and loses its strength over us. Alot of us, me included, take the One Year Pledge so I hope you think about taking it too https://www.quittrain.com/topic/318-the-one-year-commitment/

You don't need to make a new profile if you relapse. You can just update your existing account. Makes it easier on all of us to better offer our support. My suggestion for you is to throw away the vape and everything smokable you have in your home. I know when I quit the first few hours that day were smoking all the butts I had in my ashtrays

That's great news @Kdad!

Congratulations @catlover on your awesome quit! I hope you have a great day and celebrate

Welcome aboard @LPatto, congratulations on deciding to take your life back. Doing it now means your son will never remember that dad was a smoker Isn't that good incentive to stay quit? I'm going to be honest here, quitting can be hard but walking around attached to an oxygen hose is even harder. Trust me, I live it every day and I don't want another person to have to live like this,.. What helped me get my forever quit was finding a forum of people who knew what I was going through and could help me past the tough times. We are that forum. Please take advantage of all the knowledge and resources we have here and try to come on daily to reaffirm your quit. It's not going to be easy at first, especially since you've been vaping so there's no way to determine how much nicotine in comparison to cigarettes you've been inhaling. Oh and please don't vape or smoke with a patch on, it's very dangerous! You mention anxiety, if this is a concern your dr may be able to prescribe temporary meds to help you through, something to think about. Please check out our vape forum, lots of information there as well

Congratulations to our @Reciprocity on your awesome 8 year quit! You're always so supportive to everyone when they need it. I also love all the content you post in our social forums so tank you for that. I hope you have a great day today and always

Yay kdad, well done!

Sazerac Quit Date: October 23, 2013, A Good Day to be Free. Posted July 1, 2016 It was after quitting smoking, I realized how addiction had turned me into a spoiled brat. I indulged myself completely, I smoked anytime and anywhere possible. My most shameful example was after a home birth, my brand new daughter, alive and healthy, was being walked around by her father and I said to my midwifes, 'man, after 9 months and the last 12 hours, I NEED A SMOKE'. One of my midwifes asked, 'Really ?' 'Yes yes yes yes yes YES, I want a smoke !" She handed me a non filtered cigarette from the pack she had hidden in her jacket and that was the end of that abstinence for 29 years ! I call it 'abstinence' because I never ever wanted to quit and only quit smokes and drinks 'temporarily' for pregnancy. That was really Big of me, huh ? I didn't give a hoot about second hand smoke and that was worse than just acting the spoiled brat. Second hand smoke does actual HARM to people, animals and plants. Smoking is suicidal, homicidal, herbicidal, biocidal all the cidal-s you can think of and continues to make the tobacco companies rich beyond measure Gah! I am elated to not be lining those evil pockets anymore glad also, to not be 'cidal' anything. and one more thing... My Spoiled Brat also made quitting harder. 'This is too hard' the brat would moan 'I don't want to !' the brat would whine 'Why Are You Denying Yourself ? ' The Brat cajoled and wheedled until I simply had no other choice, I killed the Spoiled Brat. Killed Dead. Spoiled Brat-icide. Hah ! If you are thinking about quitting, Know You Can. You don't have to be the spoiled brat that addiction turns us into or, a slave to nicotine anymore. You Can Quit. Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/7223-spoiled-brats-nicotine-addicts/

Welcome aboard @Gattu Joshi and congratulations on taking back your life! You will find all the support you need here so stick around and let us help you get your forever quit

@Genecanuck , we have read all the replies and feel like our members handled his posts appropriately so no further action is needed at this time. In the future instead of tagging you can report the thread (upper three dots on the right of the user reply you're reporting) this will notify the administrator and moderators.

Sorry I missed this @Genecanuck. Congratulations on 5 months quit, you're doing great!

NADA Posted January 10, 2019 I'm not sure if there are others out there who believe that smoking and lying go hand-in-hand, but I found myself lying to people throughout my life about whether I smoked, how much I smoked, and if it was effecting my health. This is a post I wrote a few years ago. Most of us smokers began our years or decades of addiction back when we were teens. We learned to lie about smoking right from the very beginning. Usually it started with our parents asking why we smelled like a rancid ashtray. “Oh, I was at Johnny Picklefork’s house and his mom smokes like a chimney” I nervously responded. “That Bertha Picklefork really needs to cut back” my mom would chuckle. A few months later my mother met me at the door with a pack of reds in her hand as I returned from school. “Young man, what was this doing in your sock drawer?” I let out a small sigh of relief knowing that it was only the cigarettes that she found. “Um, Tammy Tamblanadana’s brother was grounded for smoking so Tammy asked if I could hold on to them for a few days”. Sometime later my dad drove by me holding a cigarette in my hand while hanging out with the neighborhood kids. When asked about this at dinner, I effortlessly told him, “I was just holding it for Jin Dong while she tied her shoe”. Once it was second nature to lie to my parents about smoking, it became just as easy to lie to myself about it. I can quit any time I want. I just do it to calm myself down. It relaxes me. It’s just a habit. The list could go on forever. It kept me in the cycle of addiction for decades until one day I called it out for what it was: Pure Bulls&@t! Not only are the health benefits endless when you quit, but it’s incredibly liberating to stop lying to yourself and others. P.S. The names in this story have been changed to protect the innocent. Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/11725-the-lie/

Congratulations Wendy, great post!

Love this! @Kdad, please make this your forever quit before your health starts suffering irreversible damage. You just don't know which cigarette is going to put you on oxygen for the rest of your life......

Congratulations @BAT, I hope you have a great day and celebrate

8. Vodka and your favorite juice slushie

Genecanuck Quit Date: August 19, 2024 Posted August 23 Do you know him?, Quitnet Repost, 1998 from Billi Peel, on another site in 1998 Hi Everyone, My name is Nicotine. This is my story. For many years no one knew I was a killer. I am very cunning, while looking so innocent. I am dressed in a white wrapper. I think my shape is great. I am long, slender and easy to hold. This is great for the 90's image. I've come a long way baby. Billions of dollars have been spent to keep me looking good. My favorable image is an illusion. My addictive power is reality. My advertising team has worked very hard to continue to present me as a positive influence in daily life. I have been showcased as making men strong, sexy, and full of life. I have been packaged to make women think they are sexy, daring, and provocative. It took longer to get the women to use me, but in time I won them over. I am a liar. I tell you that you can enjoy and be more comfortable in every situation if you use. I am always there for you when you are bored, nervous, or upset. I will tell you how cool you appear while you smoke me, how good I taste. I especially like to tell younger folks how much I can do for them. I lie. I have some friends and associates: Caffeine, Alcohol, cough medicine, and Mouthwash. I make money for a lot of other industries, beyond the tobacco folks. Doctors love me too. Now caffeine, alcohol, and I go way back. We have worked together on almost everyone. You may think you can get rid of us, but we will make your life miserable if you try. I will cause people to leave their homes in the middle of the night in search of me. I am powerful once I have you. I will require a lot of your time. I need to have ashtrays and lighters. I make a mess as my ashes drop on your carpet, car seat, furniture, and loved ones. It delights me to see the little burn marks in your expensive clothes, furniture, counter tops, and carpets. Did I mention how awful I smell? I have a particular aroma that will linger in your hair, clothes, and your furniture. I can turn your car into an ashtray. I will mark you. I am an addiction. I tried for a long time not to let this secret get out. It was bad enough when people said I was a nasty habit. Now everyone knows I am an addiction. Once I get in your grasps, you cannot easily put me down. If you try I will make your stomach crawl, I will give you bad headaches, the shakes, and make you nervous. Once you are addicted to me I own you. I have no conscience. Loyalty is important to everyone. I certainly enjoy your loyalty to me. Do not ever be confused that you have mine. I will have you standing outside in the rain or bitter cold for a few precious puffs while others enjoy the comforts of staying indoors. I am demanding. You will walk away from loved ones to get your fix. You will try to hold babies in one hand while grasping me in the other. I will make you uncomfortable with people who do not smoke. I am a killer. I will take your breath away. I will eat your lungs. I will render you voiceless. I will cause you bad sinus problems. I will embarrass you with the ugly cough I give you. I will make you unable to walk up a flight of stairs without having a hard time breathing. I will hurt your loved ones around you who don't even use me or have a choice. My name is Nicotine. I am an addictive and powerful DRUG!!! Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/26599-the-quitnet-lounge/?do=findComment&comment=526773

5. Jello shots

3. Vodka and fruit punch

1. Make White Russians