Jump to content

jillar

Moderators
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Posts

    25783

  • Joined

  • Days Won

    211

 Content Type 

Blog Entries posted by jillar

  1. jillar

    Allen Carr ..The Easy Way !!!

    By jillar,


    General
    Doreensfree
    Quit Date: 7 /8/2013
     
    Posted May 23, 2018 
     
     
    If you havn,t read this book yet...its a must...
    He has helped millions....
    You can download it on the internet ,and read it for free...
    What have you got to lose.!!!!....nothing.... And could gain freedom !!!
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/10456-allen-carr-the-easy-way/
     
  2. jillar

    No Man's Land

    By jillar,


    General
    Nancy
    Quit Date: 07/07/2013
    Posted March 23, 2018 · 
     
    By tahoehal  on May 13 2008 
     
    I seldom start a post, unless it is to honor someone's anniversary. But I feel compelled to share something that I seem to be sharing a lot of lately... and that is my thoughts on 'No Man's Land'. No Man's Land is a dangerous and scary place... and it is a lonely time during a quit.

    I call No Man's Land that period of time between about 1 month and 3 or 4 months into your quit, or about the time from the end of your first month.. This is a time when many people slip and go into a full relapse and have to start over... if they can start over, that is. I have some observations that may help some of you who are literally hanging on by your fingernails... or who may find yourself there tomorrow.

    The first month is an exhausting but exhilirating experience... you are locked in nearly daily struggles and you get the satisfaction of successfully beating your addiction that day. You go to bed a WINNER each night (as Troutnut would say), and you are justifiably proud of yourself. Your friends and family are also supportive as they see you struggling each day to maintain your quit. And you are being constantly supported here, whether or not you post... just being here is good for your quit. And so, the battles are won and it actually becomes easier and the battles occur less often as you finish 30 days or so.

    Around 60 days, you're starting to have some really good days, with very few craves and some nice insights about yourself... but then again, you still have some bad days. Those bad days can really be depressing... you begin to wonder if you're ever gonna be able to relax. Your junkie is whispering to you, telling you that 'just one' won't hurt. You've conquered your daily triggers, but now you start trippiing over the occasional ones... a death in the family, unexpectedly bad news, money problems, health problems, going on a long car ride, a trip to the bar, or whatever. You have a strong crave and you begin to doubt your ability to keep your quit. 

    In addition, the 3D support that you used to get is pretty much gone... non-smokers figure you should be 'over it' by now, smokers don't like to hang around you much because they feel guilty and addicted (remember that feeling?), and people who have quit may not remember just how much love and support you need well into the first few months. They all think you should be 'over it', you think you should be 'over it'... and the temptation is to have 'just one' to see if you ARE over it.

    But of course you're not over it, are you? That 'just one' whisper becomes much much louder and becomes 'just one more'... and each time you give in to that whisper, the craves come harder and sooner. The one way to guarantee that your craves will never go away is to light up, to slide that old cigarette needle into your arm and shoot up. Those craves will be back and keep coming back. But if you protect your quit, your craves will eventually weaken and become even fewer and farther between.

    As you get to around 100 days or so (some will be a bit longer)... you will begin to really get a healthy perspective on your addiction. You will see the huge role that smoking played in your life, you will see clearly what that addiction really cost you. And you will understand that it was a very high price to pay... the loss of your confidence, your emotions, your self-control... your SELF. All enslaved to your addiction.

    And you will begin to see that you can look forward to a non-smoking future without romanticizing your addiction. You see it clearly for the life-stealing evil it was... and is. You see a much different future for yourself than your past has been. And it no longer scares the crap out of you to think that you are done smoking... in fact, you embrace that thought with joy every day.

    But you have to get out of No Man's Land first. How can you help yourself? And how can those of us who have been through it help you?

    First of all, you need to understand that you aren't alone. If you haven't already done so, make a pinky-finger promise with 2 or 3 good quitbuds and exchange phone numbers with them. Promise to call them if you're ever in trouble, and make them promise the same. These are your 'life and death' quitbuddies... you are literally trusting each other with your lives. Then call them... often. Just to see how they are doing, and to tell them you're doing well too. Be totally honest with them, this is life and death.

    Second, understand that you're going to have some unexpectedly bad days... but they are going to be further apart. Shrug them off, laugh your way through them, call your quitbuddies... whatever it takes to get through them without smoking. Some battles will be easy, some will be hard. Come here and post, send qmail, exercise, learn to cook, take up a new hobby. Whatever it takes, keep going to bed a WINNER each night.

    Third, ask some of the older qsters to keep an eye on you... to contact you to see how you're doing. I have been asked to do that for several of you recently and I am happy to do that, as I am sure that others are too. We know that you just need to hold on a little bit longer and change your focus just a little to make that breakthrough. And then you will OWN your quit, and it will be a very comfortable thing.

    Last, take a deep and honest look at your past life... your life as a smoker and compare it to what your life is like now... and what it will be like in the future. You have to develop that vision of your future, of the person that you are going to BECOME now that you have freed yourself. You have to believe in yourself. You have to love yourself enough to deny yourself your addiction.

    No Man's Land doesn't have to be so lonely and scary and dangerous. You need some company and some courage and some faith in yourself. And when you emerge from it, you will not be the same person that entered it.

    Never never never question your decision to quit! This is the most loving thing that you will ever do for yourself. A few days of discomfort in exchange for a lifetime of freedom. You will never find another deal like it.

    Protect your quit. Don't smoke, no matter what.


    Hal 08-20-2004
    A puff is too much, a thousand cartons are not enough. 
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/10000-no-mans-land/
     
     
     
  3. jillar

    Untangling the Knot

    By jillar,


    General
    DenaliBlues
    Quit Date: 2/10/2022
     
    Posted March 2, 2022 
     
    Congrats on completing day one  @JustinHoot99!  And thanks for raising the topic of action. I can relate.
     
    A fiendishly clever aspect of my addiction is how it takes habituated behaviors + emotions + physical/chemical dependence and ratchets them into a really tight knot that seems impossible to untangle. As I start to pry those strands apart, I find that each one wants to smoke for different reasons. Each one has the power to sabotage my quit. I suspect that each part of my addiction needs its own attention, reprogramming and healing.
     
    Thinking about my behavioral habits or my “action” strand: until not smoking becomes my baseline (which I am months and miles away from) I need substitutes. The vacuum of not smoking is just too much to deal with. Also, at this stage in my withdrawal the reward centers in my brain are still pretty fried and screwed up, so things designed to make me feel good - taking a walk, breathing deeply, noshing on snacks, etc. – can irritate the bejezus out of me, instead. Depending on my mood.
     
    A new coping mechanism I started this week is a “Mini Honey Do” list of small tasks that need doing around the house. Nothing arduous or time consuming, or else I’ll procrastinate and it won’t help me combat an immediate craving. Simple stuff that can be done in 15 minutes or less, things I know I can’t fail at. Tighten the loose screws on the recycling cabinet door. Scrape whatever that sticky goo is off the laundry room window. Change the light bulb that’s been flickering in the bathroom. Swap out the HVAC air filter.
     
    I have to write these down because when I am stressed or sunk emotionally, my mind goes weirdly blank. I’m so used to meeting that moment by smoking that it’s hard to remember or imagine doing anything else. So I get up, look at the list, pick something, do it, and cross it off. It feels sort of silly, but it’s better than picking up a smoke. It adds a little novelty to my coping routine. And there’s the silver lining of stuff getting done around the house…
     
    Ditto on your comment about writing here being helpful, too. Reading your post and responding helped me ride out a nasty crave wave this morning, so thanks!
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/17681-giving-up-my-car-for-3-weeks-this-time/#findComment-466935
     
  4. jillar
    Genecanuck
    Quit Date: August 19, 2024
     
    Posted August 27 
     
     
    The Bare Facts About Relapse
    From joyinca


    Nicotine Users Are Drug Addicts, And Therefore Are Subject To All Of The Rules Of Drug Addiction

    The very first cigarette you smoked started you down the road to addiction. You arrived without knowing where you were going. Now you know. You have joined the millions of nicotine users who are and will always be drug addicts. There is no changing this fact, and the only thing you can do now is to learn to control your response to your addictive impulses. Luckily learning to be a quitter can be done, as attested to by the millions of people that have gained their Independence from smoking. This rule is absolute, and there are no exceptions.

    Relapse Won't Happen Unless You Put Nicotine Into Your Body

    Once you have become a quitter you begin to condition yourself to being an ex-smoker. Each hour and day brings you closer to total comfort. But first you must learn to function in situations that would have formerly called for smoking. After getting through the initial few days, and getting the nicotine out of your system, you may begin to worry that after all of this effort you might end up relapsing. There is only one way that you can possibly relapse, and you have complete control over it. As long as you keep in mind that you are a nicotine addict, subject to the laws of addiction, and that you can never put nicotine into your system again, and therefore do not take a puff, you will not relapse. This rule is absolute, and there are no exceptions.

    Relapse is the result of awakening your addiction

    While you are learning to be an ex-smoker you may find yourself thinking that you must have a cigarette to cope with x, y, or z. When you find yourself thinking this way you are having a bad case of Junkie Thinking. If you act on thoughts like this and start puffing, you have stepped onto the slippery slope of relapse. If you don't act on your junkie thoughts, but instead turn your focus to other things, notably your reasons for quitting, then you won't relapse. This rule is absolute, and there are no exceptions

    Relapse Will Happen If You Don't Acknowledge and Respect Your Addiction

    You must come to terms with the fact that you are a drug (nicotine) addict, and therefore as subject to the rules of addiction as any other type of drug addict. One puff is all it will take to put you back into the control of Ole Nic. The only way that you can keep your Independence is by admitting to the certainty that one puff will result in total relapse . This rule is absolute, and there are no exceptions.

    Relapse Means Having To Start Over From The Beginning

    Once you awaken your addiction you loose all of the ground that you gained. You must begin again, that is if you are even able to bring yourself to do so. Most quitters that relapse spend months or years trying to get themselves to quit again. Some quitters that relapse are never able to try again, and die as smokers, plus frequently they die early because of their inability to break away from smoking. This rule is absolute, and there are no exceptions.
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/26599-the-quitnet-lounge/#findComment-526993
     
     
  5. jillar
    Cristóbal
    Quit Date: 14 October 2012
     
    Posted January 14, 2017 
    (First Posted 01 April 2014)
     
     
    A crave can happen because of 2 things:
     
     
    1. Physical Withdrawl Symptoms.
     
    2. Mental or Emotional Smoking Triggers.
     
     
    Craves can happen frequently early in our quits, because of physical withdrawl symptoms.
     
    They can also happen simultaneously with physical cravings and then later in our quits, much less frequently, as we continue to confront triggers which are mental or emotional in nature.
     
     
    The important thing to remember, is that craves are *NEVER* a command !!!
     
     
    You N.T.A.P. them (apply to them the concept of Never.Take.Another.Puff.....just for today) as they happen.
     
    Then what happens ???
     
     
    Nothing.
     
    Absolutely.......*NOTHING* !!!
     
     
    Your head does not explode when you say "NO" to a crave.
     
    You will not die.
     
    Life will continue, and the sun will continue to rise every day.....and so will you....and the crave will be gone and soon forgotten.
     
    At the same time, you re-program you brain and emotions to react to life as a non-smoker again.

     
    Craves create F.E.A.R. in your mind and emotions, but it is a false fear.
     
    F.E.A.R. = False.Expectations.Appearing.Real.
     
    In the case of smoking, the expectations that some horrible thing may happen if you do not yield to the crave, are ***FALSE***.
     
    The fear that craves create can appear real, if you give them life and continue to believe lies the addiction may tell you, and can seem like a command at the moment they come to you.
     
    But the reality of this fear, is that it is a fear based on lies.
     
    This fear generates a false command....a empty command, based on the lies of a addiction that has no intelligence, is in every way illogical, and exists only as a ghost in your brain.
     
     
     
    If you do nothing when you experience a crave.....nothing happens.
     
    Ever.
     
    A crave based on illogical F.E.A.R. - False.Expectations.Appearing.Real.....is never a command.

    Do not listen to the nonsensensical illogical lies the addiction may tell you.

    Instead, N.T.A.P. these craves, and N.T.A.P. your way to the mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual freedom you so desparately want.
     
     
    Cristóbal
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/7946-a-crave-is-never-a-command/
     
  6. jillar
    jillar
    Quit Date: May 29, 2016
    Posted May 18, 2018 
     
    Why is quitting So hard
    by jwg » Wed Aug 29, 2012 4:01 pm
     
    So that is the question , why is quitting so hard ?
    I think there is only one reason quitting it so hard to do
    Or maybe two reasons , at most three to five ,, less then ten for sure..

    Sadly I don’t think most here will agree with me nor will they aperciate my opion , and that really all this. My opion .
    A view from my porch and from my experiences , nothing more

    So there that’s the warning , take it with a grain of salt

    The reasons quitting is hard to do

    First off its hard because ,, You want it to be! And yes I think that is true most people want quitting to be the hardest thing thay have ever done in there life,,,WHY ?
    So they can then justify in there mind why on earth they smoked for so long,, after all if quitting was “easy” they would feel like quite the heal for not quitting years ago.
    So in order to live with them self in a balance of peace , quitting must then be difficult.
    Plus with quitting being so hard to do, it gives the quitter a boost in there personal moral on how “hard” they fought and won ..
    The quitter wants quitting to be hard to do , so they do not have to
    Accept loved ones could have prevented there suffering and death if they could have easily quit.

    And then there is the aspect of quitting is “so hard to do” because they have been told it was for years , and like the sentence above , have even been to the funerals that proved this to be true.

    If you want to quit smoking and fit in with others who quit smoking , then by god you have to suffer threw it just like they did too. After all no one gets a free pass when it comes to quitting smoking ,,
    “The hardest thing in the world to do”

    Well to each there own , but it all honesty . to stop smoking is not that hard to do it at all , In fact NO ONE that ever really wanted to Quit Smoking has ever failed..

    To stop smoking dose not cause pain , where as healing from most other things in fact dose , A sun burn carries with it much greater pain then any one ever suffered to stop smoking.
    Mentally, a spelling test is harder then it is to quit smoking ..

    And lastly, why quitting is so hard to do ? , because before most ever start they go into already granting them selfs permission to fail. And then this failure only dose one thing , grants them permission once more ,

    So this goes back to my point , quitting is only hard because most just want it that way.

    But I know first hand , that dose not have to be the way it is and in fact if focused on the rewards vs the discomforts , quitting hands down is the easiest thing any one has ever done for them selfs

    If smoking is a temp pleasure with long term consequences
    Then to stop is is temp discomfort with long term benefits


    Break the cycle , evaluate your quit honestly with out the desire for it to be “so hard” and not only will you see it is not as you have been lead to believe , but too you will learn to enjoy the process of becoming free to do all the things you once sat around and labeled
    “one of these days”
    'jwg'
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/10421-why-is-quitting-so-hard-repost-by-jwg/
     
  7. jillar

    Sex, Health, Money & Time

    By jillar,


    General
    Sazerac
    Quit Date: October 23, 2013, A Good Day to be Free.
     
    Posted July 20, 2016 
     
                            *Want better Health immediately ? 
                     *Want extra Money in your pocket now ? 
       *Want more enjoyment from Sexual encounters tonight ?
             
    Well then, it's Time to free yourself from nicotine addiction !
     
    You can start by giving yourself 72 hours
    because in three days nicotine begins to leave your body.
    Take the weekend and pull the covers over your head if you need to.
    Strengthen your resolve and understand that any discomfort is temporary.
     
    Give yourself another three days...give yourself Time.
    What else are you doing that could possibly be more important than
    saving your life, liberating your sovereigns and making you better in bed ?
     
    You only have to go through this ONCE so,  enjoy the ride.
    Soon you will be seeing astoundingly positive results.
    You are evolving into a new person, 
    more honest with yourself, much more confident,
    happier, healthier, wealthier,
    and wow !
    out of this world in-between the sheets.
    No kidding.
     
     
    Link to original post:  https://www.quittrain.com/topic/7322-sex-health-money-time/
     
  8. jillar
    IamDoingIt
     
    Posted July 15, 2014 
     
    I do not care who you are! You do not just 'Get off the Quit Train....'
     
    You throw yourself head-first off a speeding train to land in the track bed below the train. You bounce down the railroad ties, bumping, flipping, twirling after the train.
     
    A few of the train's car wheels run you over and you may stick to the steel wheel....spinning 'round and 'round as other riders in the car sit comfortably in their quit. Soon, you are flipped off the wheel. Whew, thank God you didn't die! Well, since you're off the train, may as well have a smoke to get over that horrifying ordeal of hurtling yourself off the quit train. But wait!!!!! The quit train is continuing on without you! WAIT QUIT TRAIN, W A I T ! ! ! ! "I'm back here," you scream at the top of your lungs. Hmm....may as well light up again. This is getting out of hand!
     
    You keep taking puffs of cigarettes as you desperately chase after the train. With each puff, you see that train that you were once comfortably setting on, pull a little further away from you. You trip on a rail spike and split your chin on the rail. You dust yourself off and start chasing that train once again. The train is further down the tracks, almost out of sight.
     
    You struggle so hard to catch that train but each time you stop to light that cigarette, the train just keeps getting further away from you. Soon, the train is out of sight.
     
    You get tired of chasing after the train, so you decide to go back to the depot and wait for the train to pass on the next round. While waiting for the train (what's wrong? It should be here any minute), you buy another pack of smokes. You soon hear the train approach. You hear the whistle in the near distance. You are so excited!!!! To celebrate the arrival of the train, you pull out what you say will be your last cigarette and just as you inhale the first puff, the train amazingly flashes right by the depot without stopping to pick you up!!!!
     
    Why?!?!?! Why didn't the train stop for me this time? You ask yourself. Feeling defeated, you go home. On the way home you stop to pick up a carton of cigarettes. If the train will not stop for me, I sure as heck am not going to run out of smokes! You think to yourself. Every once in awhile, you will hear the Quit Train's whistle off in the distance. You remember how nice it was to be on the train. You wish you were still setting with your quit friends talking about every subject under the sun with them. You are envious of the people still on the train.
     
    Sometimes, you walk down by the tracks. When the train whizzes by, you get glances of the people inside. Look! There's MarylandQuitter, the Sarge, and Nancy. El Bandito, Beacon, Bakon, PetraD, ChristaC! So many faces you see, you cannot name them all. All the friendly faces who cared about you. You see each and every one of them. They flash by looking so comfortable. You don't see a few faces you expect to see. You wonder where they are. You suspect they did the exact same thing as you. You feel sad for them, but you feel sadder for yourself.
     
    A few of those riders (Marti, Ava, and MarylandQuitter) actually reach a hand out to you. As you reach your own hand back out to grab hold, you realize you can't grab hold because that would mean dropping the cigarette you are holding. You drop your head and turn around to go back home, wishing desperately you were on that train with them. You feel so bad you light another cigarette. Perhaps tomorrow, you'll grab hold.
     
    The next time you hear the train whistle, you are on the way to the convenience store to get another pack of cigarettes. You listen for a second and continue to the store as the Quit Train whistle dies off in the distance.
     
    When you are in your favorite smoking space, you often think of the Quit Train as you take a puff on one of the many smokes of the day. You remember what it was like on the train. You remember the freedom from nicotine you had. Oh, why, OH, WHY did you through yourself off? You ask yourself.
     
    Everything starts repeating, over and over....going to the station, watching the train pass, seeing the riders, all while holding a cigarette.
     
    Then one day, in whatever manner that happened to work....the stars aligned, the magic spell was cast, the dice were tossed, 7's came up, the moon was full....no matter the reason, things worked to go to the station without cigarettes.
     
    You once again make the trek to the station. You anxiously sit in the depot, perhaps even with the lingering smell of smoke on your body. Then you hear the whistle.... It came up very quick. Much quicker than when you were just dreaming and wishing to get on board. The train engine whizzes by the depot. Oh, no! The Quit Train is not going to stop for me again, you think to yourself. Then, as soon as the thought enters your mind, the train slams on the brakes and comes to a screeching halt with the door right in front of you. As soon as you put your foot on the step to enter, the train takes off again. You are back on the Quit Train. Finally!!!!!!
     
    You tentatively step through the doorway. Inside you see many faces you know, a few new ones and a few you expected are not there. The emotions on the passengers faces, as they look at you, range from sheer elation to see you, to frowns, and questioning. With a few pats on the back, a few hand shakes, and a few swift kicks in the ass, everyone welcomes you as you set down in a seat.
     
     
    Yes, folks, that is pretty much the journey I took in these last few months, but I am back.
     
    I did not get off the Quit Train, I hurled myself off by taking a puff.
     
    IamDoingIt is now back.
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/1969-you-dont-just-get-off-the-quit-train/
     
  9. jillar

    Reaching cruising altitude

    By jillar,


    General
    AceWhite
    Quit Date: 2/7/2021
     
    Posted March 6, 2021 
     
    Hi fellow NOPE'ers
    I've been thinking about how my quit is like being on an airplane.
    The first part of the quit is like a takeoff. A whoosh of a new feeling- some excitement even as I embarked on a journey and reached new heights.
    Slowly, as i've gained altitude, space between myself and that last smoke, I feel now at almost one moth in i'm hitting the cruising altitude, but with altitude comes pressure.
    I've hit some turbulence on my way to this height, but I kept climbing. For awhile, the clouds obscured my vision, and I felt like I could step off at at moment, back into my smoke filled haze, for just a quick moment and be ok, but that surely would've been an unwise move on my part, because instantly i'd fall back down and lose all my altitude. 
    For now, i'm keeping my sealtbelt attached, ready for the bumps that may come with the cruise, but i'm prepared for the trip. 
    In my lap is my reading material from Quit, in my heart is my desire, and in my soul is my strength. 
    Headed off into the horizon where there are no more clouds
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/15282-reaching-cruising-altitude/
     
     
  10. jillar

    I Was the Smoking Spouse

    By jillar,


    General
    DenaliBlues
    Quit Date: 2/10/2022
     
    Posted August 30 
     
    A lot of couples struggle when one person quits smoking and the other does not. I’ve been reflecting on recent Quit Train discussions on this topic, because for decades I was "the smoking spouse."
     
    I didn’t smoke in our home or in our car. But the smoke clung to me and was present everywhere I went. It caused a ton of tension with my mate. The stink. The health worries. The temptation to join in. She H-A-T-E-D my smoking.
     
    That felt like a very personal rejection to me. She knew I was a smoker before we got together (and even joined in sometimes), so why couldn’t she accept me for who I was? I was making my own choices. Why did she want me to give up something I loved? She had bad habits that bugged me, so why couldn’t I have a bad habit that bugged her?
     
    All of this felt very visceral and valid on the surface. But in actuality it was stinkin thinkin, and a rotten heap of rationalization.
     
    My smoking was not a mere “bad habit.” It was a raging addiction. And living with an addict is tough. Getting my fix of nicotine was always the priority, always the organizing principle of our lives, one that I superimposed on her without her consent. Smoking was how I spent a lot of my time and money. Over and over again, I’d walk away from her – literally and figuratively – to go smoke. Over and over again, I chose to put my own gratification first - above her feelings and fears. This de-centered and abandoned her in subtle but significant ways. Not the kind of spouse I wanted to be.
     
    My partner knew better than to try to force me to quit. She knew that breaking an addiction only happens from an internal commitment. But we still fought about it. And what I learned during those fights (eventually… begrudgingly… belatedly…) turned out to be important. It helped me recognize how my smoking affected her. I also became weary of all the tension around the issue. I had an ambivalent relationship with smoking anyway. Was it really worth all the crap it was causing?
     
    As this was percolating, I was also watching my father die. He was sick for many years, and my mother sacrificed everything for his care. It depleted her physically, financially, and emotionally. Watching that slow motion tragedy was instructive. I didn’t want that for my relationship. Getting old is hard enough, even without complications from smoking. There’s no predicting what the lotto of life will toss our way, but my smoking was unilaterally increasing the odds of a bad outcome that would affect her deeply. Again, not the kind of spouse I wanted to be.
     
    I ultimately made my own decision to stop smoking. My partner was not the only reason I quit, but it was a big one. To this day, supporting her wellbeing is something I can hold onto and use to protect my quit when cravings arise. 
     
    Two highly independent people will always butt heads occasionally. I still annoy her sometimes, and vice versa. But quitting has right-sized our conflicts. Before I quit, small tensions absorbed extra energy from the major unresolved conflict between us (smoking). Refreshingly, now we just argue about dishes or yard work or whatever, without loaded subtext. I was fearful that I would feel resentful, but the opposite is actually true. Quitting is freeing. It's so much simpler. And the benefits for my partner are a beautiful part of my recovery journey.
     
    I’m grateful for the chance to be on this healing road, with plenty of help from the good souls here on the Quit Train.
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/26752-i-was-the-smoking-spouse/
     
     
  11. jillar
    Sazerac
    Quit Date: October 23, 2013, A Good Day to be Free.
     
    Posted July 1, 2016 
     
    It was after quitting smoking, I realized  how addiction had turned me into a spoiled brat.
    I indulged myself completely,  I smoked anytime and anywhere possible.
    My most shameful example was after a home birth,
    my brand new daughter, alive and healthy,
    was being walked around by her father and I said to my midwifes,
    'man,  after 9 months and the last 12 hours, I NEED A SMOKE'.
    One of my midwifes asked,
    'Really ?'
    'Yes yes yes yes yes YES, I want a smoke !"
                                                                                                              
    She handed me a non filtered cigarette from the pack she had hidden in her jacket
    and that was the end of that abstinence for 29 years !
    I call it 'abstinence' because I never ever wanted to quit
    and only quit smokes and drinks 'temporarily' for pregnancy.
    That was really Big of me, huh ?
     
    I didn't give a hoot about second hand smoke
    and that was worse than just acting the spoiled brat.
    Second hand smoke does actual HARM to people, animals and plants.
     
    Smoking is suicidal, homicidal, herbicidal, biocidal
    all the cidal-s you can think of and continues to make
    the tobacco companies rich beyond measure
    Gah! 
    I am elated  to not be lining those evil pockets anymore
    glad also, to not be 'cidal' anything.
    and one more thing...
                                                                                   
    My Spoiled Brat also made quitting harder.
    'This is too hard'  the brat would moan
    'I don't want to !'  the brat would whine
    'Why Are You Denying Yourself ? '
    The Brat cajoled and wheedled
    until I simply had no other choice,
    I killed the Spoiled Brat.
    Killed Dead.
    Spoiled Brat-icide.
    Hah !

    If you are thinking about quitting, Know You Can.
    You don't have to be the spoiled brat that addiction turns us into or,  a slave to nicotine anymore.
    You Can Quit.
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/7223-spoiled-brats-nicotine-addicts/
     
  12. jillar

    The Lie

    By jillar,


    General
    NADA
     
    Posted January 10, 2019 
     
    I'm not sure if there are others out there who believe that smoking and lying go hand-in-hand, but I found myself lying to people throughout my life about whether I smoked, how much I smoked, and if it was effecting my health.  This is a post I wrote a few years ago.
     
    Most of us smokers began our years or decades of addiction back when we were teens.  We learned to lie about smoking right from the very beginning.  Usually it started with our parents asking why we smelled like a rancid ashtray.  “Oh, I was at Johnny Picklefork’s house and his mom smokes like a chimney” I nervously responded.  “That Bertha Picklefork really needs to cut back” my mom would chuckle.
     
    A few months later my mother met me at the door with a pack of reds in her hand as I returned from school.  “Young man, what was this doing in your sock drawer?” I let out a small sigh of relief knowing that it was only the cigarettes that she found. “Um, Tammy Tamblanadana’s brother was grounded for smoking so Tammy asked if I could hold on to them for a few days”.
     
    Sometime later my dad drove by me holding a cigarette in my hand while hanging out with the neighborhood kids. When asked about this at dinner, I effortlessly told him, “I was just holding it for Jin Dong while she tied her shoe”.
     
    Once it was second nature to lie to my parents about smoking, it became just as easy to lie to myself about it.
     
    I can quit any time I want. I just do it to calm myself down. It relaxes me. It’s just a habit.  
    The list could go on forever.  It kept me in the cycle of addiction for decades until one day I called it out for what it was:  Pure Bulls&@t!
     
    Not only are the health benefits endless when you quit, but it’s incredibly liberating to stop lying to yourself and others.
     
    P.S.  The names in this story have been changed to protect the innocent.
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/11725-the-lie/
     
  13. jillar
    Genecanuck
    Quit Date: August 19, 2024
     
    Posted August 23 
     
    Do you know him?, Quitnet Repost, 1998
     
    from Billi Peel, on another site in 1998

    Hi Everyone, 

    My name is Nicotine. This is my story. For many years no one knew I was a killer. I am very cunning, while looking so innocent. I am dressed in a white wrapper. I think my shape is great. I am long, slender and easy to hold. This is great for the 90's image. I've come a long way baby. Billions of dollars have been spent to keep me looking good.

    My favorable image is an illusion. My addictive power is reality. My advertising team has worked very hard to continue to present me as a positive influence in daily life. I have been showcased as making men strong, sexy, and full of life. I have been packaged to make women think they are sexy, daring, and provocative. It took longer to get the women to use me, but in time I won them over.

    I am a liar. I tell you that you can enjoy and be more comfortable in every situation if you use. I am always there for you when you are bored, nervous, or upset. I will tell you how cool you appear while you smoke me, how good I taste. I especially like to tell younger folks how much I can do for them. I lie.

    I have some friends and associates: Caffeine, Alcohol, cough medicine, and Mouthwash. I make money for a lot of other industries, beyond the tobacco folks. Doctors love me too.

    Now caffeine, alcohol, and I go way back. We have worked together on almost everyone. You may think you can get rid of us, but we will make your life miserable if you try. I will cause people to leave their homes in the middle of the night in search of me.

    I am powerful once I have you. I will require a lot of your time. I need to have ashtrays and lighters. I make a mess as my ashes drop on your carpet, car seat, furniture, and loved ones. It delights me to see the little burn marks in your expensive clothes, furniture, counter tops, and carpets.

    Did I mention how awful I smell? I have a particular aroma that will linger in your hair, clothes, and your furniture. I can turn your car into an ashtray. I will mark you.

    I am an addiction. I tried for a long time not to let this secret get out. It was bad enough when people said I was a nasty habit. Now everyone knows I am an addiction. Once I get in your grasps, you cannot easily put me down. If you try I will make your stomach crawl, I will give you bad headaches, the shakes, and make you nervous. Once you are addicted to me I own you.

    I have no conscience. Loyalty is important to everyone. I certainly enjoy your loyalty to me. Do not ever be confused that you have mine. I will have you standing outside in the rain or bitter cold for a few precious puffs while others enjoy the comforts of staying indoors.

    I am demanding. You will walk away from loved ones to get your fix. You will try to hold babies in one hand while grasping me in the other. I will make you uncomfortable with people who do not smoke.

    I am a killer. I will take your breath away. I will eat your lungs. I will render you voiceless. I will cause you bad sinus problems. I will embarrass you with the ugly cough I give you. I will make you unable to walk up a flight of stairs without having a hard time breathing. I will hurt your loved ones around you who don't even use me or have a choice.

    My name is Nicotine. I am an addictive and powerful DRUG!!! 
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/26599-the-quitnet-lounge/?do=findComment&comment=526773
     
     
     
  14. jillar

    NOPE~Never/Ever/Forever

    By jillar,


    General
    Sazerac
    Quit Date: October 23, 2013, A Good Day to be Free.
     
    Posted July 24, 2016 
     
    Some quitters may have trouble with the never/ever part of  NOPE (Not One Puff Ever).
     
    To tell you the truth,  in the nascence of my quit, I  bluffed my way through never/ever land.
    I remember Cristobal and Stuart qualifying never/ever with the caveat,  'just for today'
    and that was the truth too, it is just about here and now.
     
    As days and weeks passed,  I absorbed the truth about addiction.
    Once I clearly understood addiction is forever 
    and the brain's neuro pathways immediately re-connect  to addiction after one puff,
    I embraced never/ever/forever.
     
    If addiction was in my brain for the long haul,
    well dammit...I was too
    and I was going to Win !
     
     
    I want to include our friend, Joel Spitzer's video (and a link to resources) about this subject.
    He uses the phrase, 'Never Take Another Puff' as we use Not One Puff Ever
    Never Take Another Puff (resources)
    and the video
     
     
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/7334-nope~nevereverforever/
     
     
  15. jillar

    About Us (for our guests and newbies)

    By jillar,


    General
    MarylandQuitter
    Quit Date: 10/07/2013
     
    Posted March 28, 2014 
     
    QuitTrain®, a quit smoking support community, was created by former smokers who have a deep desire to help people quit smoking and to help keep those quits intact.  This place should be a safe haven to escape the daily grind and focus on protecting our quits.  We don't believe that there is a "one size fits all" approach when it comes to quitting smoking.  Each of us has our own unique set of circumstances which contributes to how we go about quitting and more importantly, how we keep our quits.
     
    This is not an environment where anybody will be judged as we only exist to offer education, support and acceptance.  Through education and sharing experiences, we can all help each other to keep this nasty, deadly addiction out of our lives.  We all want the same thing; to stay smoke-free and enjoy our lives of living as a non-smoker and all of the health benefits and freedom that it offers. 
     
    Anybody can quit smoking and anybody can stay that way.  It's a matter of finding a good combination of education and support to expose the lies of smoking in a comfortable, come as you are environment.  We welcome all with open arms and hope that you can make this your safe haven to take your freedom back and get on with the business of living life as a non-smoker.
    -------------------------------------
    This is a post that Joel used to use quite often at the Freedom From Nicotine Message Board before they implemented their no relapse policy.  While it's no longer used at Freedom, it's a very insightful and an excellent message for all of us, especially those who have relapsed and most importantly, mirrors our ideology concerning relapse. 
     
    A special thanks to Joel for allowing us to use this.
     
    I tried freedom once, why bother trying again?
     
    Some past participants have shown a certain reluctance to return to Freedom after relapsing back to smoking.  Many are embarrassed to come back admitting failure.  Others feel they tried Freedom once, and, since they went back to smoking, its techniques must not have worked for them, so why bother trying the same approach again?  Still others feel it is an inconvenience and an unnecessary commitment of time and effort considering they "heard it all before."
     
    The concept of returning after a relapse may seem embarrassing at first, but, the ex-smoker will probably see quickly he is not alone.  Many people have had past quits prior to joining Freedom and understand the fragility of a quit. They will generally understand and accept the presence of repeaters enthusiastically.  Relapsers offer a strong confirmation of the concept of addiction to our old members and to all new participants.  They often openly share their past experience of how, after initially quitting, they came to a point of complacency which allowed the relapse to occur.  They generally reflect back at their non-smoking period as a time where they felt emotionally and physically better, and then openly express the disgust and misery that the relapse brought on.  Not only did it cause embarrassment, physical discomfort, and maybe even serious health complications, but also, it was putting them through quitting all over again.  Their insights offer a valuable lesson to first time participants not to make the one tragic mistake that could lead them back to smoking and the need for quitting over again--taking a puff on a cigarette.
     
    As far as it being an inconvenience, while reading and posting may take a chunk of time out of a smokers life the first few days, in all probability, there is nothing a smoker has to do the week that he or she is stopping that is as important as quitting smoking.  Failure to touch base daily with us because of conflicts of time with social or even professional commitments makes about as much sense as a cancer patient skipping life saving chemotherapy treatments for the same events.  Missing an entire day because of prior time commitments may jeopardize the quitting process or the long-term maintenance of smoking cessation.  This may cost the person his or her life.  In the long run, it will probably be viewed as an error in judgment by the patient as well as any significant others who recognize what was put at risk and what was lost in the process.
     
    For those who feel that Freedom didn't work, the fact is that the techniques taught here didn't fail, the smoker's implementation did.  Only one recurrent theme runs through Freedom: if you don't wish to go back to smoking--NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF!  No one ever went back to smoking without disregarding that rule.  Relapsing is an automatic admission that the smoker disregarded the basic principal taught at Freedom.
     
    As far as feeling that "I've heard it all before," being a relapser is evidence enough that the smoker did not hear it or comprehend it all before, or is the type of person who needs to hear it over and over again in order to keep believing it.  Repeaters are people who have trouble initially accepting or keeping the concept of addiction alive.  This trait is in all probability the reason why the ex-smoker originally relapsed, or maybe didn't stop at all the first time.  He or she reached a point of complacency where it was believed that smoking could be controlled at an acceptable level.  Smoking is an all or nothing proposition.  The repeater must recognize the reason for the past failure and learn from the experience.  Otherwise, he or she will be doomed to repeat it over and over again.
     
    If you have gone back to smoking, come in and try again.  Once you quit smoking, do everything in your power to stay off.  Come in for continued reinforcement and witness the mistakes of other past participants who got complacent.  As far as addiction goes, it is much better to learn from others' mistakes than having to attend later due to your own.  You just don't know whether you will ever have the strength, desire, or opportunity to quit the next time.  In today's society, failing to stay off smoking carries long-term risks which include loss of social status, and respect of others; financial implications which range from supporting an addiction costing hundreds to thousands of dollars per year as well as possibly costing your job and career; and, most significantly, eventual loss of health, and possibly loss of life.  Considering all of this, the choice to quit smoking and to stay off is an important one.  To keep the ability to stay off smoking you need to always remember to NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF!
     
    © Joel Spitzer, 2000
     
    Link to original forum: https://www.quittrain.com/forum/3-introductions-about-us/  
  16. jillar

    The Bridge-repost by jwg

    By jillar,


    General
    jillar
    Quit Date: May 29, 2016
     
    Posted May 18, 2018 
     
    By the color of his salt and pepper hair I would have guessed him to be in his mid 50’s
    I would not say he was overweight , but a few walks in the park would not be the worst way he could spend a little bit more of his time. The biggest impression he really made on me was how , unimpressionable he was . If ever there was a John Q. Citizen this would be him. Everything about this man was average, from his shoes on his feet to that look of bewilderment on his face.
    Normally I keep to myself, Im not one to go around offering free advice. But I must say, he looked so lost- not that I had any answers. But perhaps I had the right questions or at the very least I had time to listen.
    I placed the butt of my fishing pole on the walk and set the drag to loose. Then testing it with a tug , to make sure I would not loose my rig , if I were to get a bite. I walked down the bridge a few paces to where “john” sat on the rail. I was not even yet close enough to offer my hand and introduce my self , when that old familiar smell of stale smoke and tobacco hit me in the face like a brick.. “wow - this one is ripe” I thought to myself.
    “ hows it going” I asked as I stepped in closer. “fine” he answered in a nonchalant way
    That’s , good I said nodding my head in affirmation.. “ you ?” he asked. “I’d be better if they were biting”. “ I imagine so” he said as he jumped down from his perch

    “ you from the other side ? “ he asked. “sure am” I boasted with some pride “been over here for past two years now” I love it I added , I could never imagine it being any different. “ yeah” he said in a smug tone “ I hear life is perfect over there , it never rains
    And life is roses all the time” Hog wash on that I said. “ we all got ass crap days” no matter what side of the river you live on
    Really ? he questioned ,, “sure” I said.
    What about money he asked “ I hear tell everyone over there makes more money”

    “ Oh my goodness , who have you been talking too ?”

    “ no one in particular , A guy just hears things you-know”

    “ Well I can assure you non of us make more money then we did before crossing over. Now we just have better opportunity’s to save some of it, or spend it on things we once wernt able to, things that make us truly happy”

    “huh” he said looking over my shoulder off onto the other side; trying to get a peek as to what life might like be living on the other side

    “your scared of crossing?” I asked.
    He then turned his head back and looked down the river, then he looked left; back in the direction he came from, then he looked down to his feet and in a small voice “ yes” he sighed
    Slowly he lifted his head and said “ Im scared if I cross and don’t make I will have to go back home a failure” “ Im scared if I make it I could loose some of my friends, or even loose myself, and who I am”

    “Hmm , I see , these are great concerns” I said
    I understand your dilemma. For a few miniutes we both stood there in silence looking down the river. He nervously kept his hands in motion as if he washing them in some imaginary sink.
    After thinking a min or two I said to him
    “ you know, if you don’t cross over to the other side your guaranteed to fail yourself “ but more importantly. I added “there is a secret to making it on the other side that the ones who never cross over can ever learn”

    “really ?” he asked “what is the secret can you tell me?”

    I smiled and put my hand onto his shoulder , looking him in the eye and said
    “ No one that has ever truly wanted to make it on the other side has failed. Its only the ones who question there decision and wrestle with the though of going back “ that ever fail . You see I explained , “when you cross over you can not live on both sides of the river”

    Then off in the distant we both heard a great noise, the sound of fireworks and celebration,
    “whats that” he asked”
    “oh that.” I said is Just some one that crossed over some time ago , having an anniversary party.

    “wow” he said , “ that sounds nice, I think I would like that”
    “yes… yes, you would” I assured him.
    “ there is so much in this world , you have been deprived living back there in the darkness”

    He smiled and said to me “ I think I’ll try”
    I smiled back to him and said “ leave “try” here on the bridge , or throw it in the river.
    The the path to freedom can not be walked with hope , each step has to be planted with confidence , leaving no room for doubt”
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/10414-the-bridge-repost-by-jwg/
     
  17. jillar

    Christian99's Story

    By jillar,


    General
    About Me
    This is my third quit site, and I was saddened by the loss of my first two.  I was extremely active for about 12 years on the first one, and then it radically changed in ways that made me uncomfortable.  So I left.  The second one simply disappeared into cyberspace after I was on it for a couple of years.  I'm happy to be here, but I'm a bit reluctant to invest as much as I did with those previous sites.
     
    Briefly, I've been quit since late 2001, and I was able to quit by pairing smoking cessation with other significant changes in nutrition and exercise.  It was not easy at all (an understatement to be sure), but I persisted; interestingly and surprisingly (especially given how miserable I was for so long), I haven't had a single craving or even passing thought of smoking a cigarette since sometime in 2003.  Not one.  And I've had a fairly eventful couple of decades since then.
     
    Regarding some of those "events," seven years after I quit (at age 40 and in excellent physical condition), I suffered a major (so-called "widowmaker") heart attack and cardiac arrest outside of a hospital setting, and it was pretty miraculous that I:  a) survived; and b) survived without any cognitive impairments.  Indeed, the cardiologist who saved my life characterized my survival and recovery as a "once-in-a-career outcome."  I'll note, too, that my 42 year old brother died a terrible death from lung cancer and his wife committed suicide on the very same day that I had my heart attack and cardiac arrest. (They died as I was in a coma in the hospital.)  So I guess you could say that was a pretty crappy day for my family.  My recovery from the heart attack was challenging and frustrating, but I very explicitly used the lessons of my quit as I tried to take one day at a time in regaining my strength and stamina and maximizing the efficiency of my remaining healthy heart muscle.  I now run regularly and even participate in road races.  I'm really proud that I've run 5 half-marathons, 2 ten milers, ten 15Ks and dozens of 10Ks and 5Ks since my widowmaker.  (And although I'm pretty slow, I've never stopped or walked in any of those races.).
     
    *****Unfortunately, in mid-2022 I began to experience significant hip pain; after attempting some non-invasive therapies, in late 2022 I had major hip surgery in an attempt to save my hip.  The easier option would have been a total hip replacement (and I still may ultimately need that), but given my age (54) and the fact that a prosethetic hip would dramatically reduce my ability to run, we decided to pursue a more complicated surgery involving bone grafts.  It's a long and challenging recovery (about six months), but once again I'm trying to use the lessons of my quit to help me through*****
     
    *****That December surgery was not successful.  Thus, in June 2023 I had a total hip replacement, which has effectively ended my running career.  I'm disappointed, to be sure, and still in the very early stages of recovery and in a lot of pain.  But it had to be done.  It's been a really challenging year (the hip pain initially developed in October, so I've been in pain and unable to walk for eight months now), but my smoke-free life remains something of which I am enormously proud.******
     
    ******Terrible development....Over the last several months, been having increasing pain in the artificial hip (which was replaced 11 months ago), and the surgeon is concerned that I've developed an infection in the hip, a rare but devastating outcome.  Getting some testing done this week and next that should confirm things either way, but if it is, indeed, infected, I'm looking at multiple major surgeries and a 9-12 month recovery.  As worrying is the fact that a certain percentage of people in my situation actually never clear the infection, leading to amputation or death.  It sucks balls.******  
     
    By profession, I'm a college teacher, and I love my work.  The training for it was interminably long and extremely stressful (and not at all unrelated to the health catastrophe at age 40), but it's an absolute privilege to work with students as they strengthen academic skills and refine professional goals.  While I certainly wish I could grown less painfully, there is no question in my mind that I'm a better, more humane educator as a result of the challenges I experienced with quitting in 2001-2 and with my health crisis in 2008. 
     
    Interesting fact about me:  I've never had a smartphone (and have never sent/received a text), and I expect that I never will.  I made the decision to remain phone free after they began to become pretty ubiquitous on the campus at which I work (I dunno...maybe 2008?), and I saw the majority of people--students and faculty alike--hunched over their phones and not experiencing life itself.  It just looked so sad to me, and I recognized that I'd probably do the same if I had such a device; thus, I decided to resist and reject them altogether.  I do have an old school flip phone in my car for emergencies, but that's it.      
  18. jillar

    Third hand Smoke

    By jillar,


    General
    Sazerac
    Quit Date: October 23, 2013, A Good Day to be Free.
     
    Posted March 4, 2020 
     
    It's not just secondhand smoke that is dangerous. Thirdhand smoke can be, too
     
    by Sandee LaMotte, CNN Wed March 4, 2020
     
    You can tell the dude sitting next to you in the movie theater is a smoker or vaper; you can smell it on his clothes.
    But since he's not lighting up and puffing smoke your way, it's OK, right?
     
    Not at all.
     
    A new study out of Yale University says thirdhand smoke
    -- the tobacco contaminants that adhere to walls, bedding, carpet and other surfaces until a room smells like an ashtray --
    can actually cling to a smoker's body and clothes as well.
     
    Despite new regulations, FDA still fails to protect youth from e-cigarette epidemic, American Lung Association says
    Those potentially toxic chemicals, including nicotine, can then be released into environments
    where smoking has never occurred, like your movie theater, according to the study.
     
    Even more disturbing: The study found those chemical exposure levels
    could be the equivalent of between one and 10 cigarettes by the end of the movie.
     
    "People are substantial carriers of thirdhand smoke contaminants to other environments,"
    said study author Drew Gentner, an associate professor of chemical and environmental engineering at Yale.
     
    The study, published Wednesday in the journal Science Advances, 
    may be the first to show that people can transmit nicotine and other potentially toxic chemicals via their clothing after smoking, he said.
     
    More than 6 million US middle and high schoolers used tobacco products in 2019, report says
     
    "That was the unique part of this study," Gentner continued.
    "We were surprised by the wide array of hazardous volatile organic compounds that were off-gassing from the audience --
    including some that are known to be known carcinogens in people, such as benzene and formaldehyde."
     
    What is 'thirdhand smoke'?
     
    Thirdhand "smoke" isn't actually smoke at all.
     
    It's the residue of nicotine and other chemicals in tobacco, some of which are toxic, that remain long after active smoking is over.
     
    Some of these chemicals stick to surfaces, and others attach to dust particles.
    Still others often penetrate deep into wallboard, drapes and upholstery.
     
    As the compounds linger, they may react with oxidants or other particles in the room's atmosphere.
    The chemical reactions can create potentially harmful byproducts that can become airborne.
     
    Science has known about this type of environmental pollution for years, 
    sparking the creation of smoking and non-smoking rooms at hotels, restaurants and the like.
     
    But thirdhand smoke has also been found in environments which were not known to be contaminated by smokers,
     which led researchers to ask how that could happen.
     
    To find out, Gentner and some of his PhD students set up an experiment in a movie theater
    that had not allowed smoking for more than 15 years.
     
    They supplied fresh air into the theater, making sure that no smoking or other contaminants entered the space.
     
    Sophisticated equipment measured airborne particles before and after moviegoers arrived.
    Right away, they saw a huge spike in levels of hazardous chemicals.
     
    As people came into the theater, the concentrations went up, and then decreased over time, Gentner said.
    "But they didn't completely disappear after the audience left," he added.
     
    "In many cases, the persistent contamination was observable the following day in the unoccupied theater."
     
    The testing continued over a four-day period across different movie genres.
    Perhaps not surprisingly, levels of nicotine and other chemicals were lower in the G-rated movies geared toward kids.
     
    "Despite cases where we had audiences of over 200 people for some of the G-rated movies,
    he pollutants were much larger for R-rated films, even with smaller audiences," Gentner said.
    Those movies would likely draw older audiences that might be more likely to smoke."
     
    Dangerous exposure?
    Despite declines in smoking in some developed nations, there are still over a billion smokers worldwide,
    according to the World Health Organization.
     
    Smokers may be at greater risk of depression and schizophrenia, study finds
    "That billion smokers contribute to about 880,000 deaths from secondhand smoke,"
    said Dr. Jagat Narula, a cardiologist at Mount Sinai Morningside in New York City who researches the health impact of smoking.
    I call it a form of murder."
     
    Learning about the Yale study's findings on the level of off-gassing from human bodies and clothing was not surprising,
    said Narula, who was not involved in the study.
    "But it is disturbing," he said. "Numerous reports have shown that there is no safe level of exposure to secondhand smoke.
     
    1 in 3 teens breathe secondhand e-cigarette vapors, new research says
    "If future research replicates these findings on thirdhand smoke, it means that smokers could potentially still do harm
    even if the act of smoking took place in a different space."
     
    And it's not just smoking tobacco cigarettes.
    In America, vaping is growing in popularity, enticing younger and younger age groups.
    The study wasn't set up to study vaping, Gentner said,
    and researchers didn't find any of the compounds known to come from vaping emissions other than nicotine.
     
    Still, he said, levels of nicotine were high.
    Therefore, it's possible that vapers could also be the source of some of the nicotine found by the analysis.
     
    "Nicotine from e-cigarettes could have also been transported by people and off-gassed in the theater,
    or this could be occurring in other places where people enter after vaping," Gentner said.
     
    Clarity will come with additional research, Narula said. In the meantime,
    "the concentration of toxic organic compounds off-gassed by smokers cannot be seen as insignificant."
     
    "If the findings hold true, the implication is that essentially we are going to need to make everything smoke-free,"
    Narula said. "And the only way that you will be able to do that is nothing short of banning smoking everywhere."
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/13622-third-hand-smoke/
     
  19. jillar

    Game Over...

    By jillar,


    General
    jillar
    Quit Date: May 29, 2016
     
    Posted January 18, 2021 
     
    Imagine if we were characters in a video game and cigarettes are our opponents. The object of the game is to be the sole survivor, the winner of the grand prize- A LIFE TIME FREE FROM DAMAGE!
    Like a lot of video games you get three lives, in our game they're called relapses. Each relapse causes your character to become weaker and weaker from the effects of smoking and your opponent seems to be winning. So you fight a little harder but still not hard enough and you use another of your relapses.
    Now you're down to your last life, you've used all your relapses and should you fail this time its game over.
    That's how all of us should think about smoking. None of us know who among us will get a smoking related illness and some of us already have one or more. And some of us paid the ultimate price with our lives....
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/15037-game-over/
     
  20. jillar
    Fluffyyellowduck
    Quit Date: 27/12/2020
     
    Posted December 15, 2020 
     
    I keep around a lot of index cards because I have ADHD and I forget things. I'm very flippity and kind of all over the place, so I keep them in my pocket to help me get through the day and remember what I need to do. 
     
    I'm using 1-2 of these index cards to write down a plan for when something comes up because things will always come up. I was wondering if you guys could help me come up with ideas that I might not have thought of. This is all I have so far. 
     
    Instead of smoking I will ... 
     
    Boredom
    Python course
    Crochet
    Cleaning
    Sudoku
    Solitaire
     
    Sadness
    ????????I have nothing?????????
     
    Anger
    Workout
    Pray/Read Bible
    Vent
    Write

    Oral Cravings
    Carrots/Celery
    Drink lemon water
    Brush teeth
    Cup of black tea

    If I'm invited or offered...
    Remember NOPE
    Journal
     
    Feeling Anxious 
    Breathing exercises 
    Stretches
     
    After a Meal
    Brush teeth

    Reward After Hard Work 
    ....?
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/14848-instead-of-smoking-i-will-need-help/
     
  21. jillar

    My Story...Hope it Helps

    By jillar,


    General
    stzr500
    Quit Date: 02/24/2017
     
    Posted March 10, 2018 
     
    Hello,
            I just want to start off stating that Feb 24th was my first year smoke free. I just want to give a bit of insight on how things went and are still going. This may be a bit in length but to totally understand it has to be, sorry. I came home that night on the 24th after I said goodbye to my daughter whom was off to rehab for her own addiction. I said if she can do it so can I even after 30 years of smoking. Putting these down is nothing compared to what she was about to go through with her opioid addiction. She is now 21 just starting life. Get into that later. Anyway the first three days were out of this world. Can't really explain them but very nausea and little to no sleep. To be honest I really can't remember all of it because i think it was so horrible my brain just won't let me go back there but visions have me so scared I will never pick up a nicotine product again. Then came the end of the week and onto week two...pretty smooth feeling better and now getting 5-6 hours of sleep a night. Week three was it...anxiety anxiety anxiety like my world just caved in on me. It was to the point of what they call derealisation where nothing seemed real to me. I only ever had it happen to me once before when I got high with marijuana with my cousin. Thank God it ended after my high ended. Anyway guess what this time it didn't....here we go full blown panic..omg ...what am I going to do I can't handle this feeling, I'm going crazy this cannot be happening to me. Why won't it stop ...did I do permanent brain damage from smoking cigarettes all these years...so on and so on my brain was in full overdrive. You name the most horrible sensations I could feel and trust me I felt them. I need to call the doctor I need to do something...then I thought what's the worse thats going to happen..I may pass out and shit then I won't need to worry cause I will be out like a light. Guess what I wasn't blessed with that pleasure ...as soon as it would get close to that point it would back off. This went on for weeks. I went to counseling and it was what I figured and what the doc said anxiety at it's worse, whats going on. Here's where it gets good.
               To start off my quit was never planned, just shot from the hip and did it. Along with the anxiety came the complete opposite depression so bad it dropped me to my knees in tears at times. NO JOKE. Never have I felt so empty inside and lost. To start it all off I lost my mother 4 1/2 years ago and never really dealt with it. When she passed from liver cancer I grieved and had lots of smokes. Two weeks after she passed I settled the estate with smokes. 3 months later we bought a new home. Another month later I was promoted to be an Engineer for my job. Smokes like a chimney for that cause if I didn't pass I was out of a job. I passed by the way thank God. Anyway shortly after that I remember bringing the train to a stop at a red signal and having a panic attack. WTH is wrong with me I though....smoking that's it I quit. The very next day was the day and the day our daughter got her help. Through counseling and talking with others here is how it is for me. I did everything with a cigarette from the time I was 17 to 47. I mean everything ...sorry about this but after sex was the best one even better than the one with coffee in the morning. Drinking, socializing,sadness,stress...I did everything with a cigarette it was my best friend and my biggest crutch. See I am not a casual smoker or a smoker who smokes just because it makes them feel good, I am a smoker who smoked because everything in my life revolved arround smoking and I had to have it. Smokes cured me of everything...I would say FK it and light one up. 
             Now I put them away and my world just came crashing down upon me like I never in my life experienced. Also my wife had an affair during all this because I was never home always working and just not paying attention to her. Talk about the final blow. This happened May of last year for a month and a half it went on. I found out confronted the both of them and about kicked her ass to the curb and bought a pack of smokes. I packed them and opened them and took one out. Looked at myself and said really, really ..fk this. Put it back in the pack and gave them to my wife and told her she may need these more than me at this point in time. So lets review...mother passed away....never really mourned her loss because it was to painful put many other things first. Promotion at my job. Wife affair and daughter hooked on heroin all in the past 2 years of my mother passing.
            Summary.....when I put the smoked down I was literally hit by everything I ignored and pushed to the side and hid with a cigarette. Here it is a year later and I will say things are better on the home front. Wife and I worked things out. She is my best friend and I pushed her away like a fool. Daughter, well she is back in detox as of yesterday and will try it all over again. This is just the tip of things in my life. What I really am trying to say is everyones quit is unique and personal. Be true to yourself you are a lot braver that what you think you are. You will walk through the gates of hell on your quit there is no doubt about it but just remember you will come out on top. I am not going crazy nor did I do permanent brain damage from smoking..lmao. What I did do was close responses to normal dopamine that take time to heal and recover. All addicts do this thats why its an addiction. I still have bouts of depression and anxiety. I am learning a whole new lifestyle. Think about it you are literaley changing your lifestyle without nicotine and its scary but it can be fun sometime. I like waking up and smelling my wifes perfume that wore off on the pillow rather than stinky smoke that wore off my hair. For those who read this thank you for taking the time to read it..I let out a bunch of personal things in my life but if you can't speak the real, then there is no sense in saying anything. I cannot give a time frame on when you should feel better from quitting but I feel fantastic at times and other times physically great but still an emotional train wreck. Hills and valleys but one day it will level out, because you will achieve goals and set a new future that you can look back upon without a cigarette. I won't say good luck because it's not about luck...IT ABOUT YOU AND YOUR WILL. My family is why !!
     

     
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/9913-my-storyhope-it-helps/
     
  22. jillar

    The Ripple Effect

    By jillar,


    General
    Boo
    Quit Date: March 9, 2016
     
    Posted July 20, 2017 
     
    Quitting smoking...it's what every smoker desires.  We've already established that the act of quitting is dead simple.  You simply refrain from putting cigarettes in your mouth and lighting them on fire.  And repeat.
     
    The benefits of quitting are many: freedom, improved health, more money in your pocket, etc.  The benefits do not end there.  In fact, the benefits only begin there.  The process, while simple, is a bold action; a step in the right direction.  You commit to leave the rut of comfort behind to begin a journey of self improvement.  The process can strip you bare emotionally.  It sounds harsh, but has a real upside.  The process will force you to deal with things that have been swept under the rug.  You will have to remove your head from the sand and face the truth.  The process will force you to confront the bullstuff that you have tried to pass off as gospel truth.  The truth will set you free, but it will make you uncomfortable for a while.
     
    A chain is only as strong as its weakest link.  Addiction is a link in a chain, a chain of self-destructive behavior and self-defeating thoughts.  You break that link and the chain that holds you back weakens.  Hold on, that's when life starts to get interesting.  Potential becomes reality.  Confidence begets confidence.  Strength begets strength.  The process, one that begins with a singular purpose and commitment, sets off a series of ripples that will eventually impact every facet of your life.
     
    If you sit back and meekly accept that you are a hopeless addict, what else will you simply accept in life?  If you decide you deserve better and boldly commit to the process, what other bold actions to improve your lot in life will you take on?
     
    Trust the process.  Embrace the challenge.  Enjoy the ride.
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/8878-the-ripple-effect/
     
  23. jillar

    Owning Your Relapse

    By jillar,


    General
    jillar
    Quit Date: May 29, 2016
     
    Posted June 19, 2020 
     
    Over my four years of being on support forums I've seen a few people who just couldn't seem to get their sticky quit the first time. They start so gung-ho and post daily getting and even offering support from and to fellow quitters. Then one day they are gone...……..
    When they resurface it's usually with tail between their legs hoping for the same support they received before they relapsed. And with the exception of some tough love, because some people just need that, they get the same level of support as they got the first time. We get it, quitting is hard for a lot of us and it sucks.
    Some even make new accounts out of embarrassment of their failed quits thinking too that perhaps a new account will help them get their forever quit. The problem with this is two-fold. One, you MUST OWN YOUR RELAPSE. It's the only way you can look back and see what you can do differently to help get your sticky quit. Two, it's not fair to the members who welcome you as a new quitter instead of who you are. 
    You see the support you are going to be offered as a relapser compared to as a new quitter is quite different. Yes, we may get short at times but it's only because we care and don't want to see anyone have to continually put themselves through the hardest first few weeks of quitting over and over again. Yes, it may be embarrassing but we can offer you tips and clues based on our own relapses or on how we saved our quits from a relapse.
    There is nothing better for me than to see a chronic relapser finally get their forever quit. So own your relapse, come back on and lets get this done!
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/14023-owning-your-relapse/
     
     
  24. jillar

    Grow into a Happy Non-Smoker

    By jillar,


    General
    Sazerac
    Quit Date: October 23, 2013, A Good Day to be Free.
     
    Posted January 16, 2019 
    I just found this,
    hope you like it too.
     
     
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/11762-grow-into-a-happy-non-smoker/
     
  25. jillar

    Joe's Quit Story

    By jillar,


    General
    joe
    Quit Date: 11/20/2013
     
    Posted April 5, 2014 
     
    Just thought I would share ...In a nut shell, quitting smoking isnt as hard as you may think....its all about knowledge and commitment...the first step is quitting......
     
    Looking back on my smoking "career" I wish I knew then what I know now....I CAN quit smoking!
     
       I think from the first cigarette i smoked as a 15 year old kid I knew that I shouldnt be doing this and that it would eventually kill me.(I think we all knew this)..how-ever, at the time everyone I hung out with smoked, so I HAD to also. My friends changed as I grew up...and most of my new friends didnt smoke...but...now, I HAD to.
      
      In my early 20's my Mother was diagnosed with Lung Cancer..I told myself that I should quit....but, I also knew I couldnt!...so why try. I continued to smoke. I met my wife and in '84 we were married (30 years coming up ) We now have 4 daughters..i dont, nor ever did smoke in their presents. I always smoked in the detached garage while working on my old mustang...(I spent alot of time in that garage 😞 ).So now, with daughters of my own...and my mother dying as a result of smoking, I really should quit....but..i heard it was hard, so I dont think I can..better not even try.
     
    10/29/1990 My Mother dies (49 years old)...I should quit smoking but, again, I dont think I can.No sense in trying...maybe some other day.
    .
     06/09/2000  My father dies (59years old) from a blood clot after minor surgery.  I think to myself, that I should quit smoking so my girls dont have to lose either of their parents at a young age...Wont quit today, but I will think about it...(I heard its almost impossible)
    .
    I should note, both of my parents were smokers...  😞
    .
      Fastforward a lot of years. My girls have all graduated high school, 3 of them have gone on to graduate college...2 with a masters degree and the 3rd working  on hers. The 4th daughter chose to raise a family instaed and so now I am about 50 years old 3 of my daughters are married and I then had 4 granddaughters..Non of my girls smoke and I am SOOO happy for that. I tried their whole life to not smoke around them...I didnt hide the fact that I smoked, instead I let them know I was embarresed that I did and it would some day kill me and i didnt want them to ever start.... I really should quit...
    .
      move forward to the fall of 2013 and I have made the descision to retire from my job.. I have the time in i need to start to draw a pension, so I make plans to retire effective Jan.1st ,2014...(I am too young to totally retire (52 years old) I plan on getting another job, and re-investing my retirement check each month)..At this time, I am not officially retired, but I do have about 2 months worth of vacation accumulated that i need to use before the end of the year..so, The months of Nov. and Dec. i spend "on vacation" (sitting at home)...before I retire, I have a few 'medical" concerns I want to get answers for so i make an appointment...nothing major, as it turn out I am getting old and arthritis is my biggest problem...While at the drs. office the "normal" questions include "do I smoke'..of course I say yes ..and he asks if i ever thought about quitting? DUH...doesnt EVERY smoker THINK about it? He perscribes Chantix and an injection in my shoulder to help with the old age crap...lol...When I get home, I consider filling the perscription, but want to know more about the side effects....so I get online and start reading...one page leads to another....alot of side effects that concern me...I dont think i am going to fill this perscription...but I DO continue to read...thankfully
    .
       i " stumble" onto whyquit.com... click on different links and find myself watch Joels Library for 1/2 a day...or more...In the middle of a video, the dogs start "bugging" me, so I figure it would be a good time to take them for a walk...besides, I "needed" a cigarette anyway...
    .
    As soon as we hit the back yard, I reach into my front coat pocket and pull out my pack of smokes and light up...but, damn!..i only have 2 left...gonna have to go get some.....wait.........I have an idea.......why dont I just QUIT NOW!...what a concept!
    .
     I worked with some guys that I always said that they worked HARDER at avoiding work than they would have if they just did their job...so, I adapted that way of thinking to my quit...instead of quitting being hard, I was going to make smoking hard...for the next couple weeks, i spent as much time in areas i didnt smoke as I could...in my house....my wifes car...out to eat...shopping....in the shower (I was REALLY clean ) ...sleeping...I was making it hard to smoke..
    .
    That was Nov.20,2013....the day i smoked my last cigarette...I look back at the last 35+ years and realize that I was making quit smoking harder than what it was...once I got in the frame of mind that in order to quit, all I had to do was....quit.....it became easy!..
    .
    A few weeks after my Drs. visit, my wife was headed to the drug store and asked if I wanted her to fill my Chantix perscripition....I told her no....she asked if I descided to not quit smoking....i had to inform her that I quit nearly a week earlier  ..cold turkey......and they said it couldnt be done 
    .
     Dont get me wrong...we all know there was cravings and withdrawls, but i found with the knowledge i gained from my reading and Joels videos i knew how to deal with them..the biggest hurdle is ACTUALLY QUITTING...just stop...period...NTAP....NOPE..
    .
    On Nov.29th my 5th granddaughter was born and sometime after the first of the year (daughter#2) informed us of granddaughter #6 joining us in May...who knows...maybe I will stick around to see them grow up...somebody has to screen the boys they will want to date....
    .
    And on a sad note, my younger sister was diagnosed with lung cancer in Jan of 2014...She has endured Chemo and radiation trreatments the whole month of March...she is strong and has a good spirit...
    .
    my daughters all live a few hours away, so they were  not around to pat me on the shoulder (dont get me wrong..they are extremely happy I quit)..and my wife works a strange schedule (12hr shifts and every other week-end), so I didnt get a bunch of support at home....so when i found a message board for support to help stop smoking, it was a huge help...imagine, a (virtual) room full of others who was also starting out in their quit...its like they knew what i was going through....lol...I firstt joind when i was 2 1/2 months quit, and came to THIS board in my 4th month....
    .
    So...any newbie who has endured my suspect writing skills and read this to the end, i would encourage you to make the descision to quit and use the resorces here to experiance the freedom you can feel by finally quit smoking......
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/252-my-quit-story-sorry-its-long/
     

Twitter

About us

QuitTrain®, a quit smoking support community, was created by former smokers who have a deep desire to help people quit smoking and to help keep those quits intact.  This place should be a safe haven to escape the daily grind and focus on protecting our quits.  We don't believe that there is a "one size fits all" approach when it comes to quitting smoking.  Each of us has our own unique set of circumstances which contributes to how we go about quitting and more importantly, how we keep our quits.

 

Our Message Board Guidelines

Get in touch

Follow us

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Guidelines

  I accept
Please Sign In or Sign Up