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jillar

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  1. jillar

    The Bridge-repost by jwg

    By jillar,


    General
    jillar
    Quit Date: May 29, 2016
     
    Posted May 18, 2018 
     
    By the color of his salt and pepper hair I would have guessed him to be in his mid 50’s
    I would not say he was overweight , but a few walks in the park would not be the worst way he could spend a little bit more of his time. The biggest impression he really made on me was how , unimpressionable he was . If ever there was a John Q. Citizen this would be him. Everything about this man was average, from his shoes on his feet to that look of bewilderment on his face.
    Normally I keep to myself, Im not one to go around offering free advice. But I must say, he looked so lost- not that I had any answers. But perhaps I had the right questions or at the very least I had time to listen.
    I placed the butt of my fishing pole on the walk and set the drag to loose. Then testing it with a tug , to make sure I would not loose my rig , if I were to get a bite. I walked down the bridge a few paces to where “john” sat on the rail. I was not even yet close enough to offer my hand and introduce my self , when that old familiar smell of stale smoke and tobacco hit me in the face like a brick.. “wow - this one is ripe” I thought to myself.
    “ hows it going” I asked as I stepped in closer. “fine” he answered in a nonchalant way
    That’s , good I said nodding my head in affirmation.. “ you ?” he asked. “I’d be better if they were biting”. “ I imagine so” he said as he jumped down from his perch

    “ you from the other side ? “ he asked. “sure am” I boasted with some pride “been over here for past two years now” I love it I added , I could never imagine it being any different. “ yeah” he said in a smug tone “ I hear life is perfect over there , it never rains
    And life is roses all the time” Hog wash on that I said. “ we all got ass crap days” no matter what side of the river you live on
    Really ? he questioned ,, “sure” I said.
    What about money he asked “ I hear tell everyone over there makes more money”

    “ Oh my goodness , who have you been talking too ?”

    “ no one in particular , A guy just hears things you-know”

    “ Well I can assure you non of us make more money then we did before crossing over. Now we just have better opportunity’s to save some of it, or spend it on things we once wernt able to, things that make us truly happy”

    “huh” he said looking over my shoulder off onto the other side; trying to get a peek as to what life might like be living on the other side

    “your scared of crossing?” I asked.
    He then turned his head back and looked down the river, then he looked left; back in the direction he came from, then he looked down to his feet and in a small voice “ yes” he sighed
    Slowly he lifted his head and said “ Im scared if I cross and don’t make I will have to go back home a failure” “ Im scared if I make it I could loose some of my friends, or even loose myself, and who I am”

    “Hmm , I see , these are great concerns” I said
    I understand your dilemma. For a few miniutes we both stood there in silence looking down the river. He nervously kept his hands in motion as if he washing them in some imaginary sink.
    After thinking a min or two I said to him
    “ you know, if you don’t cross over to the other side your guaranteed to fail yourself “ but more importantly. I added “there is a secret to making it on the other side that the ones who never cross over can ever learn”

    “really ?” he asked “what is the secret can you tell me?”

    I smiled and put my hand onto his shoulder , looking him in the eye and said
    “ No one that has ever truly wanted to make it on the other side has failed. Its only the ones who question there decision and wrestle with the though of going back “ that ever fail . You see I explained , “when you cross over you can not live on both sides of the river”

    Then off in the distant we both heard a great noise, the sound of fireworks and celebration,
    “whats that” he asked”
    “oh that.” I said is Just some one that crossed over some time ago , having an anniversary party.

    “wow” he said , “ that sounds nice, I think I would like that”
    “yes… yes, you would” I assured him.
    “ there is so much in this world , you have been deprived living back there in the darkness”

    He smiled and said to me “ I think I’ll try”
    I smiled back to him and said “ leave “try” here on the bridge , or throw it in the river.
    The the path to freedom can not be walked with hope , each step has to be planted with confidence , leaving no room for doubt”
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/10414-the-bridge-repost-by-jwg/
     
  2. jillar

    Christian99's Story

    By jillar,


    General
    About Me
    This is my third quit site, and I was saddened by the loss of my first two.  I was extremely active for about 12 years on the first one, and then it radically changed in ways that made me uncomfortable.  So I left.  The second one simply disappeared into cyberspace after I was on it for a couple of years.  I'm happy to be here, but I'm a bit reluctant to invest as much as I did with those previous sites.
     
    Briefly, I've been quit since late 2001, and I was able to quit by pairing smoking cessation with other significant changes in nutrition and exercise.  It was not easy at all (an understatement to be sure), but I persisted; interestingly and surprisingly (especially given how miserable I was for so long), I haven't had a single craving or even passing thought of smoking a cigarette since sometime in 2003.  Not one.  And I've had a fairly eventful couple of decades since then.
     
    Regarding some of those "events," seven years after I quit (at age 40 and in excellent physical condition), I suffered a major (so-called "widowmaker") heart attack and cardiac arrest outside of a hospital setting, and it was pretty miraculous that I:  a) survived; and b) survived without any cognitive impairments.  Indeed, the cardiologist who saved my life characterized my survival and recovery as a "once-in-a-career outcome."  I'll note, too, that my 42 year old brother died a terrible death from lung cancer and his wife committed suicide on the very same day that I had my heart attack and cardiac arrest. (They died as I was in a coma in the hospital.)  So I guess you could say that was a pretty crappy day for my family.  My recovery from the heart attack was challenging and frustrating, but I very explicitly used the lessons of my quit as I tried to take one day at a time in regaining my strength and stamina and maximizing the efficiency of my remaining healthy heart muscle.  I now run regularly and even participate in road races.  I'm really proud that I've run 5 half-marathons, 2 ten milers, ten 15Ks and dozens of 10Ks and 5Ks since my widowmaker.  (And although I'm pretty slow, I've never stopped or walked in any of those races.).
     
    *****Unfortunately, in mid-2022 I began to experience significant hip pain; after attempting some non-invasive therapies, in late 2022 I had major hip surgery in an attempt to save my hip.  The easier option would have been a total hip replacement (and I still may ultimately need that), but given my age (54) and the fact that a prosethetic hip would dramatically reduce my ability to run, we decided to pursue a more complicated surgery involving bone grafts.  It's a long and challenging recovery (about six months), but once again I'm trying to use the lessons of my quit to help me through*****
     
    *****That December surgery was not successful.  Thus, in June 2023 I had a total hip replacement, which has effectively ended my running career.  I'm disappointed, to be sure, and still in the very early stages of recovery and in a lot of pain.  But it had to be done.  It's been a really challenging year (the hip pain initially developed in October, so I've been in pain and unable to walk for eight months now), but my smoke-free life remains something of which I am enormously proud.******
     
    ******Terrible development....Over the last several months, been having increasing pain in the artificial hip (which was replaced 11 months ago), and the surgeon is concerned that I've developed an infection in the hip, a rare but devastating outcome.  Getting some testing done this week and next that should confirm things either way, but if it is, indeed, infected, I'm looking at multiple major surgeries and a 9-12 month recovery.  As worrying is the fact that a certain percentage of people in my situation actually never clear the infection, leading to amputation or death.  It sucks balls.******  
     
    By profession, I'm a college teacher, and I love my work.  The training for it was interminably long and extremely stressful (and not at all unrelated to the health catastrophe at age 40), but it's an absolute privilege to work with students as they strengthen academic skills and refine professional goals.  While I certainly wish I could grown less painfully, there is no question in my mind that I'm a better, more humane educator as a result of the challenges I experienced with quitting in 2001-2 and with my health crisis in 2008. 
     
    Interesting fact about me:  I've never had a smartphone (and have never sent/received a text), and I expect that I never will.  I made the decision to remain phone free after they began to become pretty ubiquitous on the campus at which I work (I dunno...maybe 2008?), and I saw the majority of people--students and faculty alike--hunched over their phones and not experiencing life itself.  It just looked so sad to me, and I recognized that I'd probably do the same if I had such a device; thus, I decided to resist and reject them altogether.  I do have an old school flip phone in my car for emergencies, but that's it.      
  3. jillar

    Third hand Smoke

    By jillar,


    General
    Sazerac
    Quit Date: October 23, 2013, A Good Day to be Free.
     
    Posted March 4, 2020 
     
    It's not just secondhand smoke that is dangerous. Thirdhand smoke can be, too
     
    by Sandee LaMotte, CNN Wed March 4, 2020
     
    You can tell the dude sitting next to you in the movie theater is a smoker or vaper; you can smell it on his clothes.
    But since he's not lighting up and puffing smoke your way, it's OK, right?
     
    Not at all.
     
    A new study out of Yale University says thirdhand smoke
    -- the tobacco contaminants that adhere to walls, bedding, carpet and other surfaces until a room smells like an ashtray --
    can actually cling to a smoker's body and clothes as well.
     
    Despite new regulations, FDA still fails to protect youth from e-cigarette epidemic, American Lung Association says
    Those potentially toxic chemicals, including nicotine, can then be released into environments
    where smoking has never occurred, like your movie theater, according to the study.
     
    Even more disturbing: The study found those chemical exposure levels
    could be the equivalent of between one and 10 cigarettes by the end of the movie.
     
    "People are substantial carriers of thirdhand smoke contaminants to other environments,"
    said study author Drew Gentner, an associate professor of chemical and environmental engineering at Yale.
     
    The study, published Wednesday in the journal Science Advances, 
    may be the first to show that people can transmit nicotine and other potentially toxic chemicals via their clothing after smoking, he said.
     
    More than 6 million US middle and high schoolers used tobacco products in 2019, report says
     
    "That was the unique part of this study," Gentner continued.
    "We were surprised by the wide array of hazardous volatile organic compounds that were off-gassing from the audience --
    including some that are known to be known carcinogens in people, such as benzene and formaldehyde."
     
    What is 'thirdhand smoke'?
     
    Thirdhand "smoke" isn't actually smoke at all.
     
    It's the residue of nicotine and other chemicals in tobacco, some of which are toxic, that remain long after active smoking is over.
     
    Some of these chemicals stick to surfaces, and others attach to dust particles.
    Still others often penetrate deep into wallboard, drapes and upholstery.
     
    As the compounds linger, they may react with oxidants or other particles in the room's atmosphere.
    The chemical reactions can create potentially harmful byproducts that can become airborne.
     
    Science has known about this type of environmental pollution for years, 
    sparking the creation of smoking and non-smoking rooms at hotels, restaurants and the like.
     
    But thirdhand smoke has also been found in environments which were not known to be contaminated by smokers,
     which led researchers to ask how that could happen.
     
    To find out, Gentner and some of his PhD students set up an experiment in a movie theater
    that had not allowed smoking for more than 15 years.
     
    They supplied fresh air into the theater, making sure that no smoking or other contaminants entered the space.
     
    Sophisticated equipment measured airborne particles before and after moviegoers arrived.
    Right away, they saw a huge spike in levels of hazardous chemicals.
     
    As people came into the theater, the concentrations went up, and then decreased over time, Gentner said.
    "But they didn't completely disappear after the audience left," he added.
     
    "In many cases, the persistent contamination was observable the following day in the unoccupied theater."
     
    The testing continued over a four-day period across different movie genres.
    Perhaps not surprisingly, levels of nicotine and other chemicals were lower in the G-rated movies geared toward kids.
     
    "Despite cases where we had audiences of over 200 people for some of the G-rated movies,
    he pollutants were much larger for R-rated films, even with smaller audiences," Gentner said.
    Those movies would likely draw older audiences that might be more likely to smoke."
     
    Dangerous exposure?
    Despite declines in smoking in some developed nations, there are still over a billion smokers worldwide,
    according to the World Health Organization.
     
    Smokers may be at greater risk of depression and schizophrenia, study finds
    "That billion smokers contribute to about 880,000 deaths from secondhand smoke,"
    said Dr. Jagat Narula, a cardiologist at Mount Sinai Morningside in New York City who researches the health impact of smoking.
    I call it a form of murder."
     
    Learning about the Yale study's findings on the level of off-gassing from human bodies and clothing was not surprising,
    said Narula, who was not involved in the study.
    "But it is disturbing," he said. "Numerous reports have shown that there is no safe level of exposure to secondhand smoke.
     
    1 in 3 teens breathe secondhand e-cigarette vapors, new research says
    "If future research replicates these findings on thirdhand smoke, it means that smokers could potentially still do harm
    even if the act of smoking took place in a different space."
     
    And it's not just smoking tobacco cigarettes.
    In America, vaping is growing in popularity, enticing younger and younger age groups.
    The study wasn't set up to study vaping, Gentner said,
    and researchers didn't find any of the compounds known to come from vaping emissions other than nicotine.
     
    Still, he said, levels of nicotine were high.
    Therefore, it's possible that vapers could also be the source of some of the nicotine found by the analysis.
     
    "Nicotine from e-cigarettes could have also been transported by people and off-gassed in the theater,
    or this could be occurring in other places where people enter after vaping," Gentner said.
     
    Clarity will come with additional research, Narula said. In the meantime,
    "the concentration of toxic organic compounds off-gassed by smokers cannot be seen as insignificant."
     
    "If the findings hold true, the implication is that essentially we are going to need to make everything smoke-free,"
    Narula said. "And the only way that you will be able to do that is nothing short of banning smoking everywhere."
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/13622-third-hand-smoke/
     
  4. jillar

    Game Over...

    By jillar,


    General
    jillar
    Quit Date: May 29, 2016
     
    Posted January 18, 2021 
     
    Imagine if we were characters in a video game and cigarettes are our opponents. The object of the game is to be the sole survivor, the winner of the grand prize- A LIFE TIME FREE FROM DAMAGE!
    Like a lot of video games you get three lives, in our game they're called relapses. Each relapse causes your character to become weaker and weaker from the effects of smoking and your opponent seems to be winning. So you fight a little harder but still not hard enough and you use another of your relapses.
    Now you're down to your last life, you've used all your relapses and should you fail this time its game over.
    That's how all of us should think about smoking. None of us know who among us will get a smoking related illness and some of us already have one or more. And some of us paid the ultimate price with our lives....
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/15037-game-over/
     
  5. jillar
    Fluffyyellowduck
    Quit Date: 27/12/2020
     
    Posted December 15, 2020 
     
    I keep around a lot of index cards because I have ADHD and I forget things. I'm very flippity and kind of all over the place, so I keep them in my pocket to help me get through the day and remember what I need to do. 
     
    I'm using 1-2 of these index cards to write down a plan for when something comes up because things will always come up. I was wondering if you guys could help me come up with ideas that I might not have thought of. This is all I have so far. 
     
    Instead of smoking I will ... 
     
    Boredom
    Python course
    Crochet
    Cleaning
    Sudoku
    Solitaire
     
    Sadness
    ????????I have nothing?????????
     
    Anger
    Workout
    Pray/Read Bible
    Vent
    Write

    Oral Cravings
    Carrots/Celery
    Drink lemon water
    Brush teeth
    Cup of black tea

    If I'm invited or offered...
    Remember NOPE
    Journal
     
    Feeling Anxious 
    Breathing exercises 
    Stretches
     
    After a Meal
    Brush teeth

    Reward After Hard Work 
    ....?
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/14848-instead-of-smoking-i-will-need-help/
     
  6. jillar

    My Story...Hope it Helps

    By jillar,


    General
    stzr500
    Quit Date: 02/24/2017
     
    Posted March 10, 2018 
     
    Hello,
            I just want to start off stating that Feb 24th was my first year smoke free. I just want to give a bit of insight on how things went and are still going. This may be a bit in length but to totally understand it has to be, sorry. I came home that night on the 24th after I said goodbye to my daughter whom was off to rehab for her own addiction. I said if she can do it so can I even after 30 years of smoking. Putting these down is nothing compared to what she was about to go through with her opioid addiction. She is now 21 just starting life. Get into that later. Anyway the first three days were out of this world. Can't really explain them but very nausea and little to no sleep. To be honest I really can't remember all of it because i think it was so horrible my brain just won't let me go back there but visions have me so scared I will never pick up a nicotine product again. Then came the end of the week and onto week two...pretty smooth feeling better and now getting 5-6 hours of sleep a night. Week three was it...anxiety anxiety anxiety like my world just caved in on me. It was to the point of what they call derealisation where nothing seemed real to me. I only ever had it happen to me once before when I got high with marijuana with my cousin. Thank God it ended after my high ended. Anyway guess what this time it didn't....here we go full blown panic..omg ...what am I going to do I can't handle this feeling, I'm going crazy this cannot be happening to me. Why won't it stop ...did I do permanent brain damage from smoking cigarettes all these years...so on and so on my brain was in full overdrive. You name the most horrible sensations I could feel and trust me I felt them. I need to call the doctor I need to do something...then I thought what's the worse thats going to happen..I may pass out and shit then I won't need to worry cause I will be out like a light. Guess what I wasn't blessed with that pleasure ...as soon as it would get close to that point it would back off. This went on for weeks. I went to counseling and it was what I figured and what the doc said anxiety at it's worse, whats going on. Here's where it gets good.
               To start off my quit was never planned, just shot from the hip and did it. Along with the anxiety came the complete opposite depression so bad it dropped me to my knees in tears at times. NO JOKE. Never have I felt so empty inside and lost. To start it all off I lost my mother 4 1/2 years ago and never really dealt with it. When she passed from liver cancer I grieved and had lots of smokes. Two weeks after she passed I settled the estate with smokes. 3 months later we bought a new home. Another month later I was promoted to be an Engineer for my job. Smokes like a chimney for that cause if I didn't pass I was out of a job. I passed by the way thank God. Anyway shortly after that I remember bringing the train to a stop at a red signal and having a panic attack. WTH is wrong with me I though....smoking that's it I quit. The very next day was the day and the day our daughter got her help. Through counseling and talking with others here is how it is for me. I did everything with a cigarette from the time I was 17 to 47. I mean everything ...sorry about this but after sex was the best one even better than the one with coffee in the morning. Drinking, socializing,sadness,stress...I did everything with a cigarette it was my best friend and my biggest crutch. See I am not a casual smoker or a smoker who smokes just because it makes them feel good, I am a smoker who smoked because everything in my life revolved arround smoking and I had to have it. Smokes cured me of everything...I would say FK it and light one up. 
             Now I put them away and my world just came crashing down upon me like I never in my life experienced. Also my wife had an affair during all this because I was never home always working and just not paying attention to her. Talk about the final blow. This happened May of last year for a month and a half it went on. I found out confronted the both of them and about kicked her ass to the curb and bought a pack of smokes. I packed them and opened them and took one out. Looked at myself and said really, really ..fk this. Put it back in the pack and gave them to my wife and told her she may need these more than me at this point in time. So lets review...mother passed away....never really mourned her loss because it was to painful put many other things first. Promotion at my job. Wife affair and daughter hooked on heroin all in the past 2 years of my mother passing.
            Summary.....when I put the smoked down I was literally hit by everything I ignored and pushed to the side and hid with a cigarette. Here it is a year later and I will say things are better on the home front. Wife and I worked things out. She is my best friend and I pushed her away like a fool. Daughter, well she is back in detox as of yesterday and will try it all over again. This is just the tip of things in my life. What I really am trying to say is everyones quit is unique and personal. Be true to yourself you are a lot braver that what you think you are. You will walk through the gates of hell on your quit there is no doubt about it but just remember you will come out on top. I am not going crazy nor did I do permanent brain damage from smoking..lmao. What I did do was close responses to normal dopamine that take time to heal and recover. All addicts do this thats why its an addiction. I still have bouts of depression and anxiety. I am learning a whole new lifestyle. Think about it you are literaley changing your lifestyle without nicotine and its scary but it can be fun sometime. I like waking up and smelling my wifes perfume that wore off on the pillow rather than stinky smoke that wore off my hair. For those who read this thank you for taking the time to read it..I let out a bunch of personal things in my life but if you can't speak the real, then there is no sense in saying anything. I cannot give a time frame on when you should feel better from quitting but I feel fantastic at times and other times physically great but still an emotional train wreck. Hills and valleys but one day it will level out, because you will achieve goals and set a new future that you can look back upon without a cigarette. I won't say good luck because it's not about luck...IT ABOUT YOU AND YOUR WILL. My family is why !!
     

     
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/9913-my-storyhope-it-helps/
     
  7. jillar

    The Ripple Effect

    By jillar,


    General
    Boo
    Quit Date: March 9, 2016
     
    Posted July 20, 2017 
     
    Quitting smoking...it's what every smoker desires.  We've already established that the act of quitting is dead simple.  You simply refrain from putting cigarettes in your mouth and lighting them on fire.  And repeat.
     
    The benefits of quitting are many: freedom, improved health, more money in your pocket, etc.  The benefits do not end there.  In fact, the benefits only begin there.  The process, while simple, is a bold action; a step in the right direction.  You commit to leave the rut of comfort behind to begin a journey of self improvement.  The process can strip you bare emotionally.  It sounds harsh, but has a real upside.  The process will force you to deal with things that have been swept under the rug.  You will have to remove your head from the sand and face the truth.  The process will force you to confront the bullstuff that you have tried to pass off as gospel truth.  The truth will set you free, but it will make you uncomfortable for a while.
     
    A chain is only as strong as its weakest link.  Addiction is a link in a chain, a chain of self-destructive behavior and self-defeating thoughts.  You break that link and the chain that holds you back weakens.  Hold on, that's when life starts to get interesting.  Potential becomes reality.  Confidence begets confidence.  Strength begets strength.  The process, one that begins with a singular purpose and commitment, sets off a series of ripples that will eventually impact every facet of your life.
     
    If you sit back and meekly accept that you are a hopeless addict, what else will you simply accept in life?  If you decide you deserve better and boldly commit to the process, what other bold actions to improve your lot in life will you take on?
     
    Trust the process.  Embrace the challenge.  Enjoy the ride.
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/8878-the-ripple-effect/
     
  8. jillar

    Owning Your Relapse

    By jillar,


    General
    jillar
    Quit Date: May 29, 2016
     
    Posted June 19, 2020 
     
    Over my four years of being on support forums I've seen a few people who just couldn't seem to get their sticky quit the first time. They start so gung-ho and post daily getting and even offering support from and to fellow quitters. Then one day they are gone...……..
    When they resurface it's usually with tail between their legs hoping for the same support they received before they relapsed. And with the exception of some tough love, because some people just need that, they get the same level of support as they got the first time. We get it, quitting is hard for a lot of us and it sucks.
    Some even make new accounts out of embarrassment of their failed quits thinking too that perhaps a new account will help them get their forever quit. The problem with this is two-fold. One, you MUST OWN YOUR RELAPSE. It's the only way you can look back and see what you can do differently to help get your sticky quit. Two, it's not fair to the members who welcome you as a new quitter instead of who you are. 
    You see the support you are going to be offered as a relapser compared to as a new quitter is quite different. Yes, we may get short at times but it's only because we care and don't want to see anyone have to continually put themselves through the hardest first few weeks of quitting over and over again. Yes, it may be embarrassing but we can offer you tips and clues based on our own relapses or on how we saved our quits from a relapse.
    There is nothing better for me than to see a chronic relapser finally get their forever quit. So own your relapse, come back on and lets get this done!
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/14023-owning-your-relapse/
     
     
  9. jillar

    Grow into a Happy Non-Smoker

    By jillar,


    General
    Sazerac
    Quit Date: October 23, 2013, A Good Day to be Free.
     
    Posted January 16, 2019 
    I just found this,
    hope you like it too.
     
     
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/11762-grow-into-a-happy-non-smoker/
     
  10. jillar

    Joe's Quit Story

    By jillar,


    General
    joe
    Quit Date: 11/20/2013
     
    Posted April 5, 2014 
     
    Just thought I would share ...In a nut shell, quitting smoking isnt as hard as you may think....its all about knowledge and commitment...the first step is quitting......
     
    Looking back on my smoking "career" I wish I knew then what I know now....I CAN quit smoking!
     
       I think from the first cigarette i smoked as a 15 year old kid I knew that I shouldnt be doing this and that it would eventually kill me.(I think we all knew this)..how-ever, at the time everyone I hung out with smoked, so I HAD to also. My friends changed as I grew up...and most of my new friends didnt smoke...but...now, I HAD to.
      
      In my early 20's my Mother was diagnosed with Lung Cancer..I told myself that I should quit....but, I also knew I couldnt!...so why try. I continued to smoke. I met my wife and in '84 we were married (30 years coming up ) We now have 4 daughters..i dont, nor ever did smoke in their presents. I always smoked in the detached garage while working on my old mustang...(I spent alot of time in that garage 😞 ).So now, with daughters of my own...and my mother dying as a result of smoking, I really should quit....but..i heard it was hard, so I dont think I can..better not even try.
     
    10/29/1990 My Mother dies (49 years old)...I should quit smoking but, again, I dont think I can.No sense in trying...maybe some other day.
    .
     06/09/2000  My father dies (59years old) from a blood clot after minor surgery.  I think to myself, that I should quit smoking so my girls dont have to lose either of their parents at a young age...Wont quit today, but I will think about it...(I heard its almost impossible)
    .
    I should note, both of my parents were smokers...  😞
    .
      Fastforward a lot of years. My girls have all graduated high school, 3 of them have gone on to graduate college...2 with a masters degree and the 3rd working  on hers. The 4th daughter chose to raise a family instaed and so now I am about 50 years old 3 of my daughters are married and I then had 4 granddaughters..Non of my girls smoke and I am SOOO happy for that. I tried their whole life to not smoke around them...I didnt hide the fact that I smoked, instead I let them know I was embarresed that I did and it would some day kill me and i didnt want them to ever start.... I really should quit...
    .
      move forward to the fall of 2013 and I have made the descision to retire from my job.. I have the time in i need to start to draw a pension, so I make plans to retire effective Jan.1st ,2014...(I am too young to totally retire (52 years old) I plan on getting another job, and re-investing my retirement check each month)..At this time, I am not officially retired, but I do have about 2 months worth of vacation accumulated that i need to use before the end of the year..so, The months of Nov. and Dec. i spend "on vacation" (sitting at home)...before I retire, I have a few 'medical" concerns I want to get answers for so i make an appointment...nothing major, as it turn out I am getting old and arthritis is my biggest problem...While at the drs. office the "normal" questions include "do I smoke'..of course I say yes ..and he asks if i ever thought about quitting? DUH...doesnt EVERY smoker THINK about it? He perscribes Chantix and an injection in my shoulder to help with the old age crap...lol...When I get home, I consider filling the perscription, but want to know more about the side effects....so I get online and start reading...one page leads to another....alot of side effects that concern me...I dont think i am going to fill this perscription...but I DO continue to read...thankfully
    .
       i " stumble" onto whyquit.com... click on different links and find myself watch Joels Library for 1/2 a day...or more...In the middle of a video, the dogs start "bugging" me, so I figure it would be a good time to take them for a walk...besides, I "needed" a cigarette anyway...
    .
    As soon as we hit the back yard, I reach into my front coat pocket and pull out my pack of smokes and light up...but, damn!..i only have 2 left...gonna have to go get some.....wait.........I have an idea.......why dont I just QUIT NOW!...what a concept!
    .
     I worked with some guys that I always said that they worked HARDER at avoiding work than they would have if they just did their job...so, I adapted that way of thinking to my quit...instead of quitting being hard, I was going to make smoking hard...for the next couple weeks, i spent as much time in areas i didnt smoke as I could...in my house....my wifes car...out to eat...shopping....in the shower (I was REALLY clean ) ...sleeping...I was making it hard to smoke..
    .
    That was Nov.20,2013....the day i smoked my last cigarette...I look back at the last 35+ years and realize that I was making quit smoking harder than what it was...once I got in the frame of mind that in order to quit, all I had to do was....quit.....it became easy!..
    .
    A few weeks after my Drs. visit, my wife was headed to the drug store and asked if I wanted her to fill my Chantix perscripition....I told her no....she asked if I descided to not quit smoking....i had to inform her that I quit nearly a week earlier  ..cold turkey......and they said it couldnt be done 
    .
     Dont get me wrong...we all know there was cravings and withdrawls, but i found with the knowledge i gained from my reading and Joels videos i knew how to deal with them..the biggest hurdle is ACTUALLY QUITTING...just stop...period...NTAP....NOPE..
    .
    On Nov.29th my 5th granddaughter was born and sometime after the first of the year (daughter#2) informed us of granddaughter #6 joining us in May...who knows...maybe I will stick around to see them grow up...somebody has to screen the boys they will want to date....
    .
    And on a sad note, my younger sister was diagnosed with lung cancer in Jan of 2014...She has endured Chemo and radiation trreatments the whole month of March...she is strong and has a good spirit...
    .
    my daughters all live a few hours away, so they were  not around to pat me on the shoulder (dont get me wrong..they are extremely happy I quit)..and my wife works a strange schedule (12hr shifts and every other week-end), so I didnt get a bunch of support at home....so when i found a message board for support to help stop smoking, it was a huge help...imagine, a (virtual) room full of others who was also starting out in their quit...its like they knew what i was going through....lol...I firstt joind when i was 2 1/2 months quit, and came to THIS board in my 4th month....
    .
    So...any newbie who has endured my suspect writing skills and read this to the end, i would encourage you to make the descision to quit and use the resorces here to experiance the freedom you can feel by finally quit smoking......
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/252-my-quit-story-sorry-its-long/
     
  11. jillar

    RIDE IT OUT

    By jillar,


    General
    Raya
    Quit Date: June 30 / 2011
     
    Posted April 14, 2015 
     
     
    Its late and I am awake , and I got thinking how this quitting process has truly has been a roller coaster . Remember the first days quitting smoking are much like a roller coaster so if an hour from now you don't feel so good; RIDE IT OUT . There may be bit of a turn, and you feel queezy and wonder if you made the right decision ; RIDE IT OUT. There may be a hill , and you are filled with fear where you don't know whats on the other side ; RIDE IT OUT. Then you overlook that fall ahead of you ; and it takes your breathe away ; RIDE IT OUT . You may feel fear and panic and tears ; you may feel like screaming , shouting and you are just hanging on for dear life ; RIDE IT OUT. There are smooth patches and straightaways and the roller coaster does come to a stop, but in the beginning of quitting smoking just as in a real roller coaster ride , we don't quite know what to expect . It looks big and it looks scary . We step on with little faith and with little hope only protected by a buckle ; for the RIDE OF OUR LIFE.
     
    Oops! ( think I lost myself there and all of you LOL)
    Lets get back to quitting smoking and lets just sit at the top of this rollercoaster and think about things a bit shall we . Yup we have stopped at the top, and we are rocking back and forth . la ta da ta da back and forth.
     
    Ok so this is my thinking : If we were to ride the same roller coaster everyday then we would know what to expect and we are not as fearful when we know what to expect . Our fear and anxiety slowly subsides . The ride is still exciting and becomes rather enjoyable and even comfortable. We find the next turn won't scare us and the next hill won't take our breathe away , and roller coasters won't scare us anymore . And at the end of the day we get off excited and thrilled that we accomplished the uncertain and the unknown . Thats why "ONE day at a tIme works . Do it over and over and over ; at the end of each day be a winner .
     
    Some day you will tell this story to your grandkids, the story about the smokers rollercoaster quit ride . Perhaps someday you will go on a roller coaster ride with your kids and grandchildren to the county fair ; you will eat cotton candy ; ride on the ferris wheel ; or just watch ; but please if you do please share with them all the dangers of smoking and help them to understand that listening to advertisements about smoking and other smoking methods. may look appealing ; but they are preying on your young ; killers of your health ; your families health ; thieves of your money , and your life time. Smoking will never bring you happiness . Teach them that happiness is free ; you create it. There is no charge . OH by the way ? Are you still rocking back and forth up there on that roller coaster ? Move forward . You have a lot of friends cheering you on and waiting for you below .
     
    C YA ALL TOMORROW
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/5103-ride-it-out/
     
  12. jillar

    One Question

    By jillar,


    General
    Boo
    Quit Date: March 9, 2016
     
    Posted November 29, 2018 
     
    Did I smoke today?
     
    It is the one and only question that matters when quitting.  I've seen some recent posts in which people call themselves "bad quitters" because they craved and/or romanced the cigarette during their quit.  There is no such thing as a "bad quitter."  There are only successful quitters and smokers.
     
    If you craved a cigarette but didn't smoke, you are a successful quitter.  If it took you a while to rewire your brain about the realities of cigarettes but you didn't smoke, you are a successful quitter.
     
    Smoking is an addiction.  Cigarettes are something we conditioned ourselves with for years.  Quitting is a process.
     
    If the process was a bit more difficult for you than others.  If it took you a little while longer to turn the corner than others.  If you really, really, really wanted to smoke a cigarette.  If you were grouchy, bordering on homicidal, during parts of your quit...If any of these conditions applied and you stayed true to your commitment and did not smoke, congratulations.  Your quit is every bit as much of a successful quit as anyone else's.
     
    To smoke or not to smoke...it is the only question that matters when quitting.
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/11517-one-question/
     
  13. jillar
    MarylandQuitter
    Quit Date: 10/07/2013
     
    Posted August 1, 2014
     
    I Know I'll Quit Again
    Video discusses the risk of allowing yourself to relapse using the logic that you can always simply just quit again.
     
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tHp8yFnHbZQ
     
     
    Get Right Back In The Saddle?
    Still quit right away but figure out what went wrong and what happened so it doesn't happen again. 
     
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BcEzzFM6c7A
     
     
                                                                          "Well at least I attempted to quit smoking.  That's better than not trying to quit at all."
     
    This comment was stated by a clinic participant who, after five days of not smoking, gave in to an urge and took a cigarette.  It was only going to be one cigarette, he thought.  But by the end of the day, he was up to his old level.  So what about his logic that at least trying to quit smoking is better than not trying at all?
     
    If this was his first attempt, it could be said that it was a learning experience.  Maybe he just didn't understand the concept of addiction.  He did not believe one cigarette could reestablish a physical dependency on nicotine.  After taking one cigarette, he lost all control.  So now, if he would ever quit again,  he would not question the concept of one cigarette causing a total relapse.
     
    But this was not his first attempt quitting.  It was his second time in our clinic, as well as multiple previous attempts at other programs, hypnosis and on his own.  He once quit for two months before relapsing.  At that time he broke all physical dependency on nicotine.  Also, after two months he successfully overcame many trigger situations which cause many smokers to initially relapse.  Work pressures, family problems, and social situations are obstacles that all ex-smokers initially face when quitting.  He overcame all of these trigger situations.  But then, one day, out of sheer boredom, he took a cigarette.  In that attempt, too, he relapsed right back to his old level.  Obviously, taking that cigarette was a serious mistake.
     
    This attempt, too, he chalked up to experience.  But when considering his latter attempts, it is apparent that he learned nothing.  Unless he objectively evaluates what causes his relapses to smoking, he is wasting his time trying to quit again.  Because instead of recognizing his past attempts as failures, he rationalizes a positive feeling of accomplishment about them.  This type of rationalization all but assures failures in all future attempts.
     
    Don't allow yourself to get into the same rut as this man did.  On again, off again, one withdrawal after another.  Quitting smoking is only the first step in smoking cessation.
    http://whyquit.com/joel/Joel_03_11_at_least_i_tried.html 
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/2156-relapse-i-just-cant-do-it-right-now-i-know-ill-quit-again-back-in-the-saddle/
     
  14. jillar
    babs609
    Quit Date: 07/13/2012
     
    Posted September 28, 2015 
     
    As a young child and early in my teens, I was very confident.  I wasn't the prettiest, smartest, most athletic, or funniest girl (well..I did win class clown in the 8th grade)  as a matter of fact, I was an average teenager...but I was okay with that and pretty comfortable in my own skin. 
     
    Somewhere along the line....in my teens...there was a decline in that confidence.  It wasn't sudden.  It was so gradual that I didn't even know it was happening.  Years and years went by and I still thought inside I was this confident person I used to be but I wasn't.  I was playing the role of the person I used to be.  The person I wanted to be again.  I didn't know how I lost it...I only know I wanted it back.
     
    Fast forward 25 years later and I quit smoking.  It wasn't until then that I realized how much smoking had destroyed my confidence in myself.  I didn't make the connection until I was free from the addiction. 
     
    Today, more than ever. I realize how really damaging smoking is for not only physical health but mental health as well.  I can honestly say that I am worthy, I am healthy, I am loveable, and I can achieve absolutely anything I want to in this life.  Amazing!   It wasn't even something I had to do....all I had to do was STOP.  Stop putting things in my mouth and lighting them on fire...sounds simple enough, right??  LOL...the funny and ironic thing..is that it really is that simple. 
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/6028-smoking-turned-me-into-a-total-coward/
     
  15. jillar

    Perception Shift

    By jillar,


    General
    Boo
    Quit Date: March 9, 2016
     
    Posted March 28, 2016 
     
    For much of the last couple of weeks, I hit a mental wall of sorts.  It wasn't that I was craving a cigarette so much as I was finding it difficult to identify myself as a nonsmoker.  Nagging, insecure thoughts were persistent.  I began to doubt if I was really done with smoking for good.  My policy to this point had been to "fight like hell."  What am I fighting?
     
    The fight is with addiction of course, but do I really need to fight?  My addiction is my own creation and is not an independent entity.  Addiction cannot hide around corners, jumping me when I least expect it and force me to smoke against my will.  Addiction can only plant a seed, it is my choice to cultivate it or not.  My addiction only has the power I give it.
     
    I've ceased fighting my addiction and since then, its voice has been a whimper subjugated to the back of my mind.  When I was fighting tooth-and-nail, its voice roared.  I recognize its existence, but now any irrational addiction thoughts that spring to mind are quickly silenced by reason and logic.  I am not becoming complacent, I simply realized the futility of building a thing up only to spend the rest of the day attempting to knock it down.
     
    There is no reason for me to fight as I have finally realized there is nothing to fear.  Maintaining a successful quit is a simple matter of never making a conscious decision to place a cigarette in my mouth and light it on fire.  It does not get more simple than that.
     
    I spent time in the darkness, but eventually saw the light.
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/6851-perception-shift/
     
  16. jillar

    Simple Guide to Freedom

    By jillar,


    General
    Sazerac
    Quit Date: October 23, 2013, A Good Day to be Free.
     
    Posted October 22, 2019 
     
    In celebration of my Six Years of Freedom, I wrote this little piece,
     
      Sazerac's Simple Guide To Freedom
     
    Desire:   You must want to quit more than you want to smoke
     
    Decision:  Make the decision to live life without Nicotine. 
     
    Commitment:  Commit wholeheartedly to live without Nicotine  and intend on standing by your resolve.
     
    Choice:    Choose to never smoke again, EVER.  This choice will empower you in many, many ways.
     
     
      “Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson
     
     
    Education * 
    Thanks to Joel Spitzer, this site and lurking around the sphere, 
    I am still learning everything I can about Nicotine Addiction.
    Information is Big Power and I feel sufficiently armed to maintain my quit.
     
     
    Changing Focus.
    It took some doing but, s l o w l y, when junkie thoughts would drag me down, 
    I began to train myself to look at something beautiful or think of beauty in some way.
    This retrained my brain and also gave me a bump of endorphins.
     
    I use this technique during any moments of distress or discomfort.
    These are not nicotine related anymore, just moments of life.
     
    The concept of H.A.L.T. *
    (are you Hungry (thirsty), Angry (emotional), Lonesome (bored), Tired)
     
    Nine times out of ten, smokey thoughts weren't about nicotine at all,
    it was my body (poor thing) hollering at me to do something life sustaining for it.
    Now, the signals are very clear and not related to nicotine in any way.
     
    I also want to share the benefits of Breath.  Deep, calming breaths of Oxygen.
    An elixir to sharpen and focus your mind away from the patterns of addiction.  
     
    Rewards *
    Not only does rewarding yourself help re-wire your brain receptors,
    treating yourself well and being as kind to yourself makes life nice.
    A little spoiling goes a long way,  especially during rugged transitions of any kind.
     
    ````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
     
    Quitting smoking has taught me much about myself and the human condition.
    The truth and honesty involved in making and keeping a commitment to myself has been profound.
    I know myself so much better.  I have exchanged an empty bravado for an inner trust and knowledge.
     
    I am grateful to everybody here, your stories, your triumphs and your lapses, too.
    ALL have helped me understand the hideousness of nicotine addiction
    and the Power of Choice, the Preciousness of Freedom.
     
    I am so proud to be part of this community.
    Y'all are beautiful nicotine free creatures, my friends.
     
    S
     
     
    *Joel Spitzer's Quit Smoking Library
     
    *  Riffing On H.A.L.T.
     
    * The Significance of Rewards
     
     
     
    p.s.
    To anyone beginning their journey, I would recommend this thread,
        10 Ways To Effectively Use This Forum To Stop Using Nicotine
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/13165-simple-guide-to-freedom/
     
  17. jillar
    jillar
    Quit Date: May 29, 2016
     
    Posted May 20, 2018 
     
    the perfect quit
    by jwg1763 » Tue Jun 22, 2010 8:03 pm
     
    Welcome come right in ,, how can I help you today?

    Umm yes I would like to see about buying a quit

    Well sir you have certainly come into the right store
    Let me show you some of our newer and maybe are best

    Ok ,, that would be great,, are they expensive?

    Lets just look and then we can talk price

    Umm , umm ok..

    Now here this is a wonderful quit, about seven years old fully matured No cravings I can see no real problems for you and this quit I think it could fit you well… but you do have to walk it by 7 am oh and that’s after a good breakfast

    Umm , I work nights im not up at 7 am

    Well if you want this quit you will have to get a new job you can only work 9-5 with this quit

    do you have something else?

    Why sure we do,, we have the perfect quit right here for you this is the one,, it is only 2 ½ years old but very mature and well behaved
    However you do have to sit every day and eat two bags of pop corn
    While you watch the soap operas

    Ohhmm ,, I don’t like pop corn or soap opera s I think this is a house wife quit . Not for me

    Well sir quits don’t have a gender there just tailored

    Oh ,, I see well I need a quit that works nights
    Likes to sleep in in the morning,, play some video games
    Doesn’t like pop corn and about two meals a day
    What do you have like that?

    Well sir I don’t think you understand you have to Tailor yourself to our quits we don’t tailor them to you.. These quits have taken years to fit there original owners

    That’s what I want a quit tailored fit to me
    Where do I get one of those?

    You can’t buy one of those ,, you just have to stop smoking and 
    Let it grow,, you have to nature it , love it, and respect it


    If I could just buy a quit like that just for me how much 
    Would it cost?

    Sir a quit like that is priceless,, you do not have enough money
    `jwg`
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/10435-the-perfect-quit-repost-by-jwg/
     
  18. jillar
    Irene
    Quit Date: 19 June 2020
     
    Posted March 14, 2020 
     
    Before I even entertained the thought of quitting, I always looked at drug users or addicts with pity, thinking how lucky I am not to have fallen into that trap.
    Ironic huh? Now I have empathy.
     
    I'm not a person who bares her soul, wears her heart  on on her sleeve, nor starting a thread about something she doesn't  know much about....lol
    I know I'm not the type of person to join a group therapy session on addiction introducing myself and telling my story. Never! Out of the question! Why?
    Because my fear of quiting was to acknowledge  my addiction, and in acknowledging  my addiction, made me no different to any addict.
     
    10 days into my 1st quit, I read Allen Carr, surfed the net, and found Quittrain...I knew this quit wouldn't last, and that I just needed to find an excuse to have that smoke.
    40 odd days into my quit, I found one, feeble as it was, it was the excuse I was looking for. Still lurking on Qtrain, I started to take things more seriously...
    4 days and 2 pkts later, I found myself stepping into that group therapy room...Qtrain..a very brave move from this introvert, but a wise one.
     
    It will take me a while to accept the thought that I'm always one puff away from renewing my addiction, to start baring my soul a little, opening up, feeling proud
    of the quit I am now building, to start enjoying the things I most enjoy without the necessity of have a smoke as well. 
     
    One thread stood out for me..Introsucktion..MLMR which I highly recommend to all newbies like me..read twice and still find something useful.
    I know for a fact that I will have a wobbly and will be sorely  tempted, and sincerely hope that I have the courage to ask for help.
     
    I have made the first step of opening up...now to embrace this frucking quit and start living 
    Thanks for listening......you are all very appreciated, I hope you know that
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/13659-acknowledging-the-addiction/
     
  19. jillar

    Quitting Smoking Blues

    By jillar,


    General
    Sazerac
    Quit Date: October 23, 2013, A Good Day to be Free.
     
    Posted August 30, 2018 
     
    Here is an article I found googling around dealing with the Quitting Smoking Blues.
    This is from the Very Well Mind website
     
    Depression Related to Quitting Smoking
    How to Deal With the Temporary Mood Changes
    By Terry Martin | Reviewed by Sanja Jelic, MD
    Updated August 29, 2018
     
    Quitting smoking is difficult enough when you're feeling happy.
    Unfortunately, it can become further challenging due to depression—a common complaint early on in smoking cessation.
    Knowing what you may experience as you work to become smoke-free can better prepare you for the journey ahead.
    If you start to feel depressed after quitting tobacco and your low mood doesn't pass after a few weeks or gets worse,
    be sure to check in with your doctor for advice.
     
    Physical and Psychological Changes
     
    Nicotine withdrawal is the primary reason for the temporary depression you may experience after quitting smoking.
    When you use nicotine on a regular basis, your body and brain become dependent on it,
    as the nicotine bonds with your brain receptors to trigger the release of dopamine, the "feel-good" hormone.
    Once you stop smoking and are producing less dopamine than your body and mind have become accustomed to,
    it is normal to react with low moods and depressed feelings.
     
    Lack of nicotine also means losing the "companion" that you thought helped you manage everything from anger to fatigue,
    which leaves most new ex-smokers feeling empty and adrift for a time.
    Luckily, for most, the condition is a byproduct of smoking cessation and is temporary.
     
     
    Some common symptoms of depression that you may experience when you stop smoking include:
    Sleeplessness
    Sadness
    Difficulty concentrating
    Anxiety or an "empty" feeling
    Fatigue
    Changes in appetite (eating more or less)
    Loss of interest in hobbies and activities
    Emotional irritability
    You may experience one, some, or all of these at one point or another, and to varying degrees.
     
    Coping Techniques
    Quitting tobacco is a big change in lifestyle, and you should expect to react, to some degree, both emotionally and physically.
    You are also at an increased risk of suffering a smoking relapse during periods of depression caused by smoking cessation.
    It is hard to stay focused and maintain the resolve to not smoke when you're feeling low.
     
    After years of smoking, it is possible that you began to bury your feelings behind a cloud of smoke.
     Cigarettes are used to deal with everything from anger to sadness to joy, causing smokers to often lean on tobacco to avoid difficult emotions.
    It is healthy and productive to let those feelings out, even if you feel a little raw from the experience.
     
    For depression that comes with smoking cessation, try some of the following ideas to improve your mood:
     
    Get out of a quick walk.
    Fresh air is always invigorating, and exercise releases endorphins in the brain, which are known to improve mood.
     
    Set goals, but don't bite off more than you can chew.
    Divide tasks related to your goals into small chunks that you feel good about accomplishing.
     
    Spend time with people who make you feel good. 
     
    When negative/sad thoughts come up about smoking,
    remind yourself that you miss smoking mostly because it was an addiction,
    and once you're healed, you won't feel this way.
     
    Create a list of things you can do at a moment's notice when you're feeling the urge to smoke,
    like do a crossword puzzle or call a supportive friend.
     
    Jolting ourselves out of a negative thought pattern is often as simple as changing what we're doing.
     
    Join a support group.
    Meeting people who are going through the same struggle as you can help you know you're not alone and offer some much-needed support.
    The American Lung Association's Freedom From Smoking program has groups all over the country,
    or do some research to find other support programs in your local area.
     
    While quitting smoking, the body and mind are in a state of transition,
    and it's not uncommon for new ex-smokers to struggle with their emotions.
    Don't worry if you are close to tears one moment and angry or sad the next.
    The balance will return in time.
     
    Change Your Mind, Change Your Life
     
    One of the greatest challenges new ex-smokers face is an important change in perspective.
    It is that shift in thinking from seeing smoking cessation as an exercise in deprivation 
    to realizing that it is, in fact, one of the best gifts you'll ever give yourself.
    This is a crucial step in the process of healing from nicotine addiction,
    and it is with this transformation that many see their quit-related symptoms of depression begin to lift.
     
    Pre-Existing Depression
    If you have been diagnosed and/or treated for depression prior to quitting smoking,
    it is important to let your doctor know ahead of time that you're planning to quit. 
    Smoking cessation could make you susceptible to additional mood disturbances. 
     
    Smoking also causes some medications to be metabolized more quickly,
    so when you quit, prescriptions you're already taking might need to be adjusted.
    Your doctor can monitor and correct dosages on any medications you might be on, if necessary.
     
    Always be on alert for drastic mood changes and contact your doctor as soon as possible if anything out of the ordinary occurs.
    If you're having thoughts of self-harm, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifelineat 800-273-8255.
     
    A Word From Verywell
    If the blues have come on since you quit smoking, remember that this is not uncommon.
    As you are patient through this likely temporary phase, find comfort from your friends, family,
    and keeping busy with healthier, more productive activities.
    With time and dedication, these will become the more familiar sources of good feelings,
    and smoking will become that thing that you thought used to bring you benefit.
     
    You can also take comfort in knowing that millions of people have been through this process successfully before you,
    and many include it among the most rewarding experiences of their lives.
    Happier days are ahead, and with them will come a tremendous sense of pride and empowerment from overcoming this addiction.
     
    Article Sources:
    National Institutes of Mental Health. Depression. https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/depression/index.shtml
    Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Recognize Signs of Depression. https://www.cdc.gov/tobacco/campaign/tips/quit-smoking/guide/depression-and-smoking.html
     
     
    I would like to include Joel Spitzer's video and Resources Concerning Mental Health
     
     
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/10971-quitting-smoking-blues/
     
  20. jillar
    Repost by Craig
     
     
    I get sad whenever I read about someone that relapses after rocking an awesome quit for weeks or months. I quit smoking 290 days ago and I'm extremely confident I'll never smoke again. Things were a little different on day 142 though. That's the day I almost smoked a cigarette.....
     
    Quote
     
    Day 142.
     
    I have been romanticizing the cigarette for about a week now. I've been daydreaming about the simple joy of holding a cigarette between my fingers, the wonderful tobacco smell of a freshly opened pack, and the feeling of euphoria when taking that first drag. Mmmm....just thinking about it makes my pulse quicken in glorious anticipation. 
     
    W. T. F.       
     
    This is day 142! I'm "this close" to 5 months.  6 months (HALF A YEAR!) is within spitting distance. How the hell could I let myself get so damn complacent that I'm having thoughts like this? For the most part, my quit has been on auto-pilot for the last couple of months. I stopped actively "quitting" a long time ago. I didn't feel the need, or desire, to spend hours a day reading/posting about nicotine addiction like I did the first several weeks of my quit. 
     
    I've lost my motivation and I'm tired of fighting. THAT right there scares the crap out of me. I do NOT want to be a smoker again. I will NOT be a smoker again. I REFUSE to be a smoker again. It is time to fix this thing and get my head back in this quit. 
     
    During the early days of a new quit everything is so exciting. You are doing a Good Thing and it's AWESOME! YOU are AWESOME! Loved ones shower you with praise! Strangers on the internet tell you how wonderful you are! You can suddenly smell and taste All The Things! People at work give you high fives and fist bumps! There are parades in your honor! The mayor gives you the key to the city! TMZ hounds you for an interview! Life is FREAKING AMAZING!!!
     
    And then, a few weeks or months later…..things change. Family and friends begin treating you the way they did before you quit. No more high fives. No more fist bumps. No one asks about your quit anymore. Even the paparazzi stop following you around. This “thing” (your quit) isn't fun anymore. Yeah, it’s gotten a lot easier to not smoke but you still sometimes get cravings from hell and you are SO TIRED of fighting. So tired. You feel lonely. You start to hear whispers in your head. It's a voice you thought you silenced a while ago. “Why don’t you just smoke one? It will taste and feel so good. You know you can quit anytime you want.” (My Inner Junkie has a seductive bedroom voice like Barry White and looks like a more sinister version of Wile E. Coyote. Stop judging me!)
     
    Relapse was a very real option for me on day 142 (I'm on day 290 now). I am VERY thankful that I turned things around before it was too late. Some folks don’t. They smoke a cigarette and then a beautiful quit is lost…up in smoke.
     
    I am only posting this to remind everyone, myself included, that we can never let our guards down. I KNOW why I got close to relapse. The reasons are as plain as day to me now:
     
    1.    I stopped educating myself about my addiction.
    2.    I greatly decreased the time I spent on this site because I didn't think I needed a support group any longer.
    3.    I let a small seed of negative thought (daydreaming of smoking a cigarette) grow until it became a Really Bad Thing.
    4.    I fooled myself into thinking I wasn't an addict any more.
     
    What did I do to get my quit back on track?
     
    1.    I re-read all the newbie info here and at whyquit.com
    2.    I read Allen Carr’s book. (I read a little bit each day over the course of a couple of months. It was a good daily dose of inspiration.)
    3.    I recommitted to spending time on this site reading and helping out where I could.
    4.    I admitted to myself that I was always going to be an addict. I can NEVER become complacent again.
    5.    I stopped random smoking thoughts IMMEDIATELY whenever I realized what I was thinking about. 
     
    Have you come close to relapsing? What did you do to avoid it?
     
    Have you relapsed after a weeks or months long quit? If so, why did it happen and what are you doing now to make sure it doesn't happen again?
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/11744-dont-ever-let-your-guard-down-repost-by-craig/
     
  21. jillar
    Nancy
    Quit Date: 07/07/2013
     
    Posted September 17, 2014 
     
    I found this online, here.
     
    A message from your body. (Repost)  
    By tahoehal  on November 03 2007 at 4:39 pm 
     
     
    Insert your own name .........
    and days of being smoke free x.

    Dear ..........


    It has been x days since you have quit smoking. You probably don't recognize me since you have been real busy for about x years. 
    I am your body and I wanted to have a conversation with you.
    There are some things I need to tell you and share with you. 
    You may need them now that you are recovering and I for the first time can express them.

    I am your lungs, your heart, your eyes, your liver, your blood, your skin and your mind.
    For x years, ......., you have been smoking and I have been unable to talk to you. 
    It's not that there were times when I did not try, because I did.
    I sent you all sorts of signals to let you know I wanted to talk to you and you were not able to hear me. 
    You passed it off as a morning cough or dizziness and whatever you were doing for all those years was too strong for me to fight.
    I have been waiting for this conversation with you for years.

    I must first tell you that we don't miss the smoke you filled us with.
    There were days when you were out, having a good time in the summer sun and I was too.
    I like the warm air and I even like the sun. But, ........, even on those wonderful days you would take the time to fill my lungs with smoke, my blood with carbon monoxide and my brain with nicotine. 
    Every time I thought things were getting better and I was ready to talk to you there would be a burst of all these chemicals and I had to spend all of my energy, and YOUR energy, ......., on trying to keep you alive.

    I think you get the point now and I don't want to sound critical although I may have come off that way. 
    What I really need to tell you is that for the past x days I have been working hard with the rest of your body ,to heal from a lot of years of neglect.
    I guess I want to say THANK YOU. 
    Thank you, ......., for having the courage and the strength to quit smoking.
    If you have ever done anything right for me, by not smoking you have given me a new life. 
    I need to tell you that it will take time for me to heal. You know how long you smoked, ........ It will take a bit of time to work with the lungs and the brain and the heart but IT WILL HAPPEN. Every cell in your body congratulates you... ....

    I need to warn you about something.
    One of the drugs that the brain thought it liked was Nicotine. 
    That's a bad drug. 
    It fooled me into thinking that I needed it.
    I never picked up a cigarette in my life and you made me addicted to Nicotine. 
    Hey, I know it was not your fault! But there will be some difficulty the next few days and months. I, too, became addicted to that drug and it will take some time before I get rid of that. 
    But I have a promise that I want to give you now that I can talk to you. 
    If you promise to not smoke and to give this your very best shot, and I know how hard it is for you, I will reward you with more than great health, ........... 
    And in time you will not only feel better but I will give you something that you thought you lost a long time ago.
    Remember your self-esteem and your image?
    Well I know who you are and I want you to know that I LOVE YOU. 
    In time you will feel better and be so proud of what you accomplished-This I promise you.

    By the way!
    In this process of getting better we will be doing a lot of work inside.
    So please feed me and water me like you would if you were taking care of a beautiful Rose.
    It's time that you started to look after yourself with love, understanding and compassion as well; we like that too.
    Everything you give to me during this process I will reward you with tenfold. 

    I believe in you, .......
    I AM YOU. 
    I KNOW you can do this. 
    I don't want to have to wait another x years to have this conversation with you. 
    Know that I love you and know that it is unconditional. 
    It seem at times like I am working against you but know that I am working with you, .........., to heal US.

    Just for Today, ......., please do not smoke. Thank you for listening to me. 
    I love you!


    Sincerely,

    Your lungs, heart, liver, blood, mind and skin and every living cell in you. 
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/2707-a-message-from-your-body/
     
  22. jillar

    Same-same but different

    By jillar,


    General
    notsmokinjo
    Quit Date: 28/11/2017
     
    Posted March 3, 2020 
     
    I know there are a few threads already about the unexpected gains we got from quitting BUT I'm too lazy to go hunting, besides when ya do you tend to fall down a rabbit hole of rereading some bloody good posts...well I do..anywho ..was reading an old post and it got me thinking (no it did not hurt)...
     
    Did quitting change who I am? Has it opened life opportunities that weren't there previously? 
     
    Yes quitting made me different I'm now a nonsmoker. But it also made me different in other ways...and I think to some extent that evolution is still happening. I mean we spend our whole existence changing and evolving but I defo reckon that quitting spun me into a completely different trajectory...and ya know wot?, It ain't half bad.
     
    I see lots of peeps post between months 3-7 of their quit...it's made me different...it's changed who I am...yep...it does...and looking back over all the characters I've met here on the train it's true for all of us...some it's softened the hard edges of, some it's toughened up...some it's allowed to grow up..and some it has allowed us let go. Noone has escaped.
     
    Ok so I'm 2+ years in and in some ways im still settling into my new skin...but I am different and I'm better for it, my life is better for it, in many, many ways...ways that had I still been smoking it certainly wouldn't be. 
     
    I kinda reckon the triggers you go through in ya quit are the lessons you need to master...for me it was all the emotional stuff from growing up that when it'd touch the surface I'd chase away with a durry...that was gone so I had to deal...and it may be takingbme a fair wack of time to do so but I have learnt I am worthwhile just the way I am and if someone else doesn't think so it's no skin off my nose an it's their loss. I've quit suppressing me and all my crazy...nerdy...oddness cos let me tell you, you don't like it then keep on movin mate cos your opinion of me doesn't define me. Quitting smoking gave me that. 
     
    So the point is newbies an inbetweenies...don't be scared of the changes ..embrace them...grow...because you will still be you..just different..and that is good.
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/13620-same-same-but-different/
     
  23. jillar
    Sazerac
    Members
     14.3k
    Quit Date: October 23, 2013, A Good Day to be Free.
    Posted February 6, 2020 
     
    Butt Emissions: Study Finds Even Extinguished Cigarettes Give Off Toxins
     
    January 29, 2020
     
    This specially built smoking machine was used by NIST scientists to measure the emissions
    that come off cigarette butts long after they've been extinguished.
    Cigarette butts pile up in parks, beaches, streets and bus stops, places where all types of littering are frowned upon.
     
    An estimated more than five trillion butts are generated by smokers worldwide each year,
    and concern about their environmental impact has prompted studies of how they affect water and wildlife habitats.
    But despite their prevalence, almost no one has studied the airborne emissions coming off these tiny bits of trash. 
     
    When Dustin Poppendieck was asked to evaluate them, he was skeptical.
    As a measurement scientist at the National Institute of Standards and Technology (NIST)
    he realized there was no standard way of analyzing the amounts of chemicals swirling in the air around cigarettes
    hours and days after they’d been put out, and he was intrigued.
    But he also thought there might not be enough chemicals present to make the measurements meaningful. 
     
    What his team found, however, was that a used butt — one that is cold to the touch —
    can in one day give off the equivalent of up to 14% of the nicotine that an actively burning cigarette emits.
     
    “I was absolutely surprised,” said Poppendieck.
    “The numbers are significant and could have important impacts when butts are disposed of indoors or in cars.”
    The NIST measurements were performed under an interagency agreement with the Food and Drug Administration
    as part of its analysis of the overall impact of cigarette smoking on people’s lives. 
     
    For a long time, most of the health impacts of smoking were misunderstood and often underestimated,
    in part because the emissions of cigarettes had not been fully assessed.
    Measurements and epidemiological studies over the last 50 years have improved our understanding of the health impacts of tobacco.
     
    We now know a good deal about how cigarette smoking affects smokers’ own bodies as they inhale and exhale,
    referred to as mainstream smoking. Work has also been done to establish the health effects of secondhand smoke,
    which is the emissions from the end of a cigarette, pipe or cigar, and the smoke that is exhaled by smokers. 
     
    NIST scientists have measured the airborne emissions we are exposed to once a cigarette butt has been “extinguished."
    More recently, research has also examined thirdhand exposure, which comes from the chemical residue
    that stays on surfaces such as walls, furniture, hair, clothing and toys after a cigarette has been extinguished.
     
    Like mainstream smoking and secondhand smoke, thirdhand exposure can increase the risk of cancers
    and cause numerous other health problems, especially in the still-developing bodies and brains of infants and children. 
     
    The overall goal of the recent NIST study was to quantify the emissions from extinguished cigarettes
    and discover what happens to those emissions when the butts are left in different environments. 
     
    Poppendieck’s team measured eight of the hundreds of chemicals typically emitted from cigarettes,
    including four that are on the FDA list of harmful and potentially harmful constituents. 
     
    They also measured triacetin, a plasticizer often used to make filters stiff. Filters were added to cigarettes in the 1950s.
    While they do collect part of what comes off a burning cigarette, they don’t fully negate the exposure from inhaling tobacco smoke.
    Filters provide a kind of handle for cigarette users who want to avoid burning their lips or fingers, wasting tobacco,
    or having to pull stray tobacco bits off their tongues.
    Triacetin can make up as much as 10% of a filter, and its low volatility means it doesn’t evaporate quickly at normal temperatures,
    so it could be a good indicator of long-term emissions from a butt, Poppendieck explained.
     
    The question that Poppendieck and his team considered, therefore, was not the impact of filters on smokers themselves.
    Rather, they focused on emissions from discarded butts, which are largely just used filters. 
     
    “If you have ever sat on a park bench when somebody next to you smoked, then they got up and left their cigarette butt behind,
    that odor you were smelling is indicative of what we are trying to capture and measure,” Poppendieck said.
    “Anyone with a good sense of smell knows it’s there.” 
     
    The team had to “smoke” over 2,100 cigarettes, although the scientists didn’t actually light up and inhale.
    Instead Poppendieck’s team built a “smoking machine” that uses robotic movements to simulate what humans do when they light up.
    The machine was made to move air through each cigarette in the same way,
    to remove some potential variables associated with the behavior of actual smokers. 
     
    Extinguished cigarettes were placed in a walk-in, stainless steel chamber in order to characterize airborne emissions.
    The team also tried to determine if environmental differences in temperature, humidity
    and saturation in water would change those emission rates.
     
    Cigarettes were carefully lit and "smoked" in a machine before being recorded in the lab at NIST.
    Most of the chemicals from the extinguished butts were emitted in the first 24 hours, Poppendieck noted.
    However, nicotine and triacetin concentrations were still about 50% of the initial level five days later. 
     
    The team also found that butts emitted these chemicals at higher rates when the air temperature was higher.
     
    “The nicotine coming from a butt over seven days could be comparable to the nicotine emitted
    from mainstream and sidestream [secondhand or thirdhand] smoke during active smoking,” Poppendieck said.
     
    This means if you don’t empty an ashtray in your home for a week, the amount of nicotine exposure
    to nonsmokers could be double current estimates. 
     
    Figuring out what to call these newly discovered and measured emissions has been challenging.
    In the lab, Poppendieck and his team refer to them loosely as “after smoke” or just butt emissions. 
    No matter what terminology is used, the research team wants people to know that the chemicals
    remain long after the cigarette goes out.
     
    People have been asked to not throw their cigarettes out car windows, because it takes years for the butts to degrade.
     
    Poppendieck wants people to also know they can put used butts in sealable metal or glass jars
    with sand instead of leaving them out in the open. 
     
    “You might think that by never smoking in your car when kids are present, you are protecting the nonsmokers or children around you,” Poppendieck said.
    “But if the ashtray in your hot car is full of butts that are emitting these chemicals, exposure is happening.”
     
    Papers:
    M. Gong, N. Daniels, D. Poppendieck. Measurement of chemical emission rates from cigarette butts into air. Indoor Air. Available online in preprint format on Jan. 18, 2020. DOI: 10.1111/ina.12648
    D. Poppendieck, M. Gong, V. Pham. Influence of temperature, relative humidity, and water saturation on airborne emissions from cigarette butts. Science of the Total Environment. Available online Jan. 5, 2020. DOI: 10.1016/j.scitotenv.2019.1364
    Edited February 7, 2020 by Sazerac
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/13529-cigarette-butt-emissions/
     
  24. jillar

    I forgot to think about smoking! Yay!

    By jillar,


    General
    PixelSketch
    Members
    Quit Date: March 19, 2017
     
    Posted April 10, 2017 
     
    OK, this is the first time this has happened since I quit!! Even those moments where I wasn't craving one, it was constantly on my mind in some way, even if it was just "I'm not smoking, I'm not smoking..."
     
    Today, wrapping up a work project into the wee hours of the night, I suddenly realized that I hadn't thought about smoking for ages!  So, there's hope!! It's exhausting to always have it on your mind, even when you don't want one. For me, this is the first sign that a future without thinking of smoking really, truly does exist. Looking forward to more and more moments like this.
     
    Off to bed, but doing a happy dance. Had to share - to those wondering if you're ever not going to think about it - yeah, the time will come. Hang in there!!  :yes:  :good3:
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/8314-i-forgot-to-think-about-smoking-yay/
     
  25. jillar

    Are You a Believer?

    By jillar,


    General
    babs609
    Quit Date: 07/13/2012
    Posted September 20, 2016 
     
    Life is really so simple...WE are the ones who make it complicated
     
    Because the truth is....if you BELIEVE the cigarette will give you any kind of comfort or joy...then you will suffer a great deal.  Not just in the early part of your quit, but for YEARS after...if you can stay quit that long.
     
    This is where the education part comes in.   If there is something you want that you believe will make you feel good...most people don't have the willpower to refrain from.  Those that do...are miserable and live their life miserably always thinking they are being deprived.  They aren't.  It's all in their head.  All about their belief system.
     
    I remember a show that was on...not sure if it still is but it was called 'My Strange Addiction.  The people on that show had some of the strangest addictions I had ever heard of.  I only watched 1 episode and on this episode..there was a couple who became addicted to coffee enemas.  Their addiction became so bad that they took turns taking care of their kids so the other parent could spend 8 hours in the bathroom giving themselves an enema. 
    That sounds crazy to you, right?  Of course!  But to them...it relieved them of their suffering.
     
    Well folks.....that is how non smokers look at smokers.  With good reason....because after the initial physical withdrawal that only lasts a short while....that is exactly how it is.  All in your head!  You believe in it.  Because you believe in it...you obsess over it.  Because you obsess over it...you drive yourself crazy trying to convince yourself maybe this was a bad time to quit...maybe just one puff...maybe i'll just be a social smoker...maybe this..maybe that.  There is no maybe.  YOU STILL BELIEVE--and until you de-program your brain with constant reading, videos, repeating NOPE, mantras like 'there is no such thing as 1 cigarette"  or just constantly remind yourself that you are a non smoker, that smoking a cigarette DOES NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING for you..until you reverse the programming that has been in your head for so long...you will always suffer, you will always be a minute away from relapse...you will always struggle.
     
    Even though there are thousands of "excuses" why people relapse or smoke...here are the most common BS lies.
     
    1.  Boredom--what's more boring than putting something in your mouth and lighting it on fire...really?  I can think of a thousand more things to do with my time. 
    2.  Anxiety--smoking increases your heart rate thus..increasing the anxiety (the only time smoking relieves you of any symptoms are when you are in the withdrawal period and it only gives you relief because you are feeding the addiction)
    3.  Help you concentrate--Really?  again...an illusion  (after the first few days)  Smoking adds thousands of chemicals to the bloodstream and ultimately decreasing the oxygen to the brain.  How does that really help??  We need oxygen to THINK...not jet fuel.
    4. " I'm under too much stress right now" This is life, you will always have stress.  The smoking trap was designed to hook you for life.   The only 'good time to quit'  is NOW.
    5.  ANY OTHER LAME EXCUSE ENTER HERE...cause that is what it is. 
     
    Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/7522-are-you-a-believer/
     

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QuitTrain®, a quit smoking support community, was created by former smokers who have a deep desire to help people quit smoking and to help keep those quits intact.  This place should be a safe haven to escape the daily grind and focus on protecting our quits.  We don't believe that there is a "one size fits all" approach when it comes to quitting smoking.  Each of us has our own unique set of circumstances which contributes to how we go about quitting and more importantly, how we keep our quits.

 

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