jillar

Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/6987-very-good-video/

@Genecanuck, that's not my story. It's stzr500's story.

stzr500 Quit Date: 02/24/2017 Posted March 10, 2018 Hello, I just want to start off stating that Feb 24th was my first year smoke free. I just want to give a bit of insight on how things went and are still going. This may be a bit in length but to totally understand it has to be, sorry. I came home that night on the 24th after I said goodbye to my daughter whom was off to rehab for her own addiction. I said if she can do it so can I even after 30 years of smoking. Putting these down is nothing compared to what she was about to go through with her opioid addiction. She is now 21 just starting life. Get into that later. Anyway the first three days were out of this world. Can't really explain them but very nausea and little to no sleep. To be honest I really can't remember all of it because i think it was so horrible my brain just won't let me go back there but visions have me so scared I will never pick up a nicotine product again. Then came the end of the week and onto week two...pretty smooth feeling better and now getting 5-6 hours of sleep a night. Week three was it...anxiety anxiety anxiety like my world just caved in on me. It was to the point of what they call derealisation where nothing seemed real to me. I only ever had it happen to me once before when I got high with marijuana with my cousin. Thank God it ended after my high ended. Anyway guess what this time it didn't....here we go full blown panic..omg ...what am I going to do I can't handle this feeling, I'm going crazy this cannot be happening to me. Why won't it stop ...did I do permanent brain damage from smoking cigarettes all these years...so on and so on my brain was in full overdrive. You name the most horrible sensations I could feel and trust me I felt them. I need to call the doctor I need to do something...then I thought what's the worse thats going to happen..I may pass out and shit then I won't need to worry cause I will be out like a light. Guess what I wasn't blessed with that pleasure ...as soon as it would get close to that point it would back off. This went on for weeks. I went to counseling and it was what I figured and what the doc said anxiety at it's worse, whats going on. Here's where it gets good. To start off my quit was never planned, just shot from the hip and did it. Along with the anxiety came the complete opposite depression so bad it dropped me to my knees in tears at times. NO JOKE. Never have I felt so empty inside and lost. To start it all off I lost my mother 4 1/2 years ago and never really dealt with it. When she passed from liver cancer I grieved and had lots of smokes. Two weeks after she passed I settled the estate with smokes. 3 months later we bought a new home. Another month later I was promoted to be an Engineer for my job. Smokes like a chimney for that cause if I didn't pass I was out of a job. I passed by the way thank God. Anyway shortly after that I remember bringing the train to a stop at a red signal and having a panic attack. WTH is wrong with me I though....smoking that's it I quit. The very next day was the day and the day our daughter got her help. Through counseling and talking with others here is how it is for me. I did everything with a cigarette from the time I was 17 to 47. I mean everything ...sorry about this but after sex was the best one even better than the one with coffee in the morning. Drinking, socializing,sadness,stress...I did everything with a cigarette it was my best friend and my biggest crutch. See I am not a casual smoker or a smoker who smokes just because it makes them feel good, I am a smoker who smoked because everything in my life revolved arround smoking and I had to have it. Smokes cured me of everything...I would say FK it and light one up. Now I put them away and my world just came crashing down upon me like I never in my life experienced. Also my wife had an affair during all this because I was never home always working and just not paying attention to her. Talk about the final blow. This happened May of last year for a month and a half it went on. I found out confronted the both of them and about kicked her ass to the curb and bought a pack of smokes. I packed them and opened them and took one out. Looked at myself and said really, really ..fk this. Put it back in the pack and gave them to my wife and told her she may need these more than me at this point in time. So lets review...mother passed away....never really mourned her loss because it was to painful put many other things first. Promotion at my job. Wife affair and daughter hooked on heroin all in the past 2 years of my mother passing. Summary.....when I put the smoked down I was literally hit by everything I ignored and pushed to the side and hid with a cigarette. Here it is a year later and I will say things are better on the home front. Wife and I worked things out. She is my best friend and I pushed her away like a fool. Daughter, well she is back in detox as of yesterday and will try it all over again. This is just the tip of things in my life. What I really am trying to say is everyones quit is unique and personal. Be true to yourself you are a lot braver that what you think you are. You will walk through the gates of hell on your quit there is no doubt about it but just remember you will come out on top. I am not going crazy nor did I do permanent brain damage from smoking..lmao. What I did do was close responses to normal dopamine that take time to heal and recover. All addicts do this thats why its an addiction. I still have bouts of depression and anxiety. I am learning a whole new lifestyle. Think about it you are literaley changing your lifestyle without nicotine and its scary but it can be fun sometime. I like waking up and smelling my wifes perfume that wore off on the pillow rather than stinky smoke that wore off my hair. For those who read this thank you for taking the time to read it..I let out a bunch of personal things in my life but if you can't speak the real, then there is no sense in saying anything. I cannot give a time frame on when you should feel better from quitting but I feel fantastic at times and other times physically great but still an emotional train wreck. Hills and valleys but one day it will level out, because you will achieve goals and set a new future that you can look back upon without a cigarette. I won't say good luck because it's not about luck...IT ABOUT YOU AND YOUR WILL. My family is why !! Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/9913-my-storyhope-it-helps/

Congratulations @Hope2Nope, on your awesome eight year quit! I love celebrating another year quit with a fellow Butt Kicker! Have a great day...

I remember feeling the same way Gene but then reminded myself that I CAN smoke I just choose not to. I choose not to stink of stale smoke, I choose not to throw away my hard earned money, I choose not to ne an addict. Then if the craving was still strong I would use my air cigarette to trick my mind into thinking it was getting the real thing and that worked EVERY time ☺

Boo Quit Date: March 9, 2016 Posted July 20, 2017 Quitting smoking...it's what every smoker desires. We've already established that the act of quitting is dead simple. You simply refrain from putting cigarettes in your mouth and lighting them on fire. And repeat. The benefits of quitting are many: freedom, improved health, more money in your pocket, etc. The benefits do not end there. In fact, the benefits only begin there. The process, while simple, is a bold action; a step in the right direction. You commit to leave the rut of comfort behind to begin a journey of self improvement. The process can strip you bare emotionally. It sounds harsh, but has a real upside. The process will force you to deal with things that have been swept under the rug. You will have to remove your head from the sand and face the truth. The process will force you to confront the bullstuff that you have tried to pass off as gospel truth. The truth will set you free, but it will make you uncomfortable for a while. A chain is only as strong as its weakest link. Addiction is a link in a chain, a chain of self-destructive behavior and self-defeating thoughts. You break that link and the chain that holds you back weakens. Hold on, that's when life starts to get interesting. Potential becomes reality. Confidence begets confidence. Strength begets strength. The process, one that begins with a singular purpose and commitment, sets off a series of ripples that will eventually impact every facet of your life. If you sit back and meekly accept that you are a hopeless addict, what else will you simply accept in life? If you decide you deserve better and boldly commit to the process, what other bold actions to improve your lot in life will you take on? Trust the process. Embrace the challenge. Enjoy the ride. Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/8878-the-ripple-effect/

Happy anniversary @Sazerac, its good to see you Thank you for the update and your words of wisdom and support. It really sounds like you're living your best life

Just said goodbye to Tiki before she crossed the rainbow bridge. RIP my little troublemaker, Cookie hopefully greeted you on your arrival. I love you xoxo

Hey @MLMR, how are you doing today?

Welcome aboard @Summer, you've come to the right place for all the support you need to get you quit once and for all. Our members range from decades quit to days quit so there's someone who more than likely is or went through anything you may have questions about so be sure to ask us anything to help you reach your goal. If you get a chance summer please introduce yourself to everyone in our Introduction forum. Not everyone does the NOPE thread so this gives everyone a chance to meet you and offer a little tidbit on quitting or using our site. Congratulations on how far you've come on your quit so far

jillar Quit Date: May 29, 2016 Posted June 19, 2020 Over my four years of being on support forums I've seen a few people who just couldn't seem to get their sticky quit the first time. They start so gung-ho and post daily getting and even offering support from and to fellow quitters. Then one day they are gone...…….. When they resurface it's usually with tail between their legs hoping for the same support they received before they relapsed. And with the exception of some tough love, because some people just need that, they get the same level of support as they got the first time. We get it, quitting is hard for a lot of us and it sucks. Some even make new accounts out of embarrassment of their failed quits thinking too that perhaps a new account will help them get their forever quit. The problem with this is two-fold. One, you MUST OWN YOUR RELAPSE. It's the only way you can look back and see what you can do differently to help get your sticky quit. Two, it's not fair to the members who welcome you as a new quitter instead of who you are. You see the support you are going to be offered as a relapser compared to as a new quitter is quite different. Yes, we may get short at times but it's only because we care and don't want to see anyone have to continually put themselves through the hardest first few weeks of quitting over and over again. Yes, it may be embarrassing but we can offer you tips and clues based on our own relapses or on how we saved our quits from a relapse. There is nothing better for me than to see a chronic relapser finally get their forever quit. So own your relapse, come back on and lets get this done! Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/14023-owning-your-relapse/

Congratulations @Genecanuck, your such an active member here and it's really appreciated. Especially all the support you give other members so thank you for that. I hope you had a wonderful day and spoiled yourself ☺

8. Tow a 5th wheel trailer

6. Load your dirt bike or quad up to go riding

People from eating it while they're waiting for their turn. There's also

Umpire

Sazerac Quit Date: October 23, 2013, A Good Day to be Free. Posted January 16, 2019 I just found this, hope you like it too. Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/11762-grow-into-a-happy-non-smoker/

Hi @Genecanuck, glad you got past that craving on your own by reading and posting. Well done! ☺

Congratulations @Sunshine59 on five years quit, that's awesome! Don't forget to celebrate

Congratulations @Cbdave, Chris, on your awesome nine year quit! Thank you for all the Nope threads and encouraging words you post on them so many of us rely on those daily threads. I hope you have a great day!

Hey @Genecanuck, I bet you'll be fine this weekend and keep your awesome quit and if you need our support just come on and post so we can help you past the crave. You'll be happy to know that for most of us, the work up to the event was way worse than the event. And the event went great. So have a nice weekend, we got your back!

Congratulations on 11 years quit @MarylandQuitter, you took paying it forward to a new level when you created this place and we are all so grateful you did so thank you!

joe Quit Date: 11/20/2013 Posted April 5, 2014 Just thought I would share ...In a nut shell, quitting smoking isnt as hard as you may think....its all about knowledge and commitment...the first step is quitting...... Looking back on my smoking "career" I wish I knew then what I know now....I CAN quit smoking! I think from the first cigarette i smoked as a 15 year old kid I knew that I shouldnt be doing this and that it would eventually kill me.(I think we all knew this)..how-ever, at the time everyone I hung out with smoked, so I HAD to also. My friends changed as I grew up...and most of my new friends didnt smoke...but...now, I HAD to. In my early 20's my Mother was diagnosed with Lung Cancer..I told myself that I should quit....but, I also knew I couldnt!...so why try. I continued to smoke. I met my wife and in '84 we were married (30 years coming up ) We now have 4 daughters..i dont, nor ever did smoke in their presents. I always smoked in the detached garage while working on my old mustang...(I spent alot of time in that garage ).So now, with daughters of my own...and my mother dying as a result of smoking, I really should quit....but..i heard it was hard, so I dont think I can..better not even try. 10/29/1990 My Mother dies (49 years old)...I should quit smoking but, again, I dont think I can.No sense in trying...maybe some other day. . 06/09/2000 My father dies (59years old) from a blood clot after minor surgery. I think to myself, that I should quit smoking so my girls dont have to lose either of their parents at a young age...Wont quit today, but I will think about it...(I heard its almost impossible) . I should note, both of my parents were smokers... . Fastforward a lot of years. My girls have all graduated high school, 3 of them have gone on to graduate college...2 with a masters degree and the 3rd working on hers. The 4th daughter chose to raise a family instaed and so now I am about 50 years old 3 of my daughters are married and I then had 4 granddaughters..Non of my girls smoke and I am SOOO happy for that. I tried their whole life to not smoke around them...I didnt hide the fact that I smoked, instead I let them know I was embarresed that I did and it would some day kill me and i didnt want them to ever start.... I really should quit... . move forward to the fall of 2013 and I have made the descision to retire from my job.. I have the time in i need to start to draw a pension, so I make plans to retire effective Jan.1st ,2014...(I am too young to totally retire (52 years old) I plan on getting another job, and re-investing my retirement check each month)..At this time, I am not officially retired, but I do have about 2 months worth of vacation accumulated that i need to use before the end of the year..so, The months of Nov. and Dec. i spend "on vacation" (sitting at home)...before I retire, I have a few 'medical" concerns I want to get answers for so i make an appointment...nothing major, as it turn out I am getting old and arthritis is my biggest problem...While at the drs. office the "normal" questions include "do I smoke'..of course I say yes ..and he asks if i ever thought about quitting? DUH...doesnt EVERY smoker THINK about it? He perscribes Chantix and an injection in my shoulder to help with the old age crap...lol...When I get home, I consider filling the perscription, but want to know more about the side effects....so I get online and start reading...one page leads to another....alot of side effects that concern me...I dont think i am going to fill this perscription...but I DO continue to read...thankfully . i " stumble" onto whyquit.com... click on different links and find myself watch Joels Library for 1/2 a day...or more...In the middle of a video, the dogs start "bugging" me, so I figure it would be a good time to take them for a walk...besides, I "needed" a cigarette anyway... . As soon as we hit the back yard, I reach into my front coat pocket and pull out my pack of smokes and light up...but, damn!..i only have 2 left...gonna have to go get some.....wait.........I have an idea.......why dont I just QUIT NOW!...what a concept! . I worked with some guys that I always said that they worked HARDER at avoiding work than they would have if they just did their job...so, I adapted that way of thinking to my quit...instead of quitting being hard, I was going to make smoking hard...for the next couple weeks, i spent as much time in areas i didnt smoke as I could...in my house....my wifes car...out to eat...shopping....in the shower (I was REALLY clean ) ...sleeping...I was making it hard to smoke.. . That was Nov.20,2013....the day i smoked my last cigarette...I look back at the last 35+ years and realize that I was making quit smoking harder than what it was...once I got in the frame of mind that in order to quit, all I had to do was....quit.....it became easy!.. . A few weeks after my Drs. visit, my wife was headed to the drug store and asked if I wanted her to fill my Chantix perscripition....I told her no....she asked if I descided to not quit smoking....i had to inform her that I quit nearly a week earlier ..cold turkey......and they said it couldnt be done . Dont get me wrong...we all know there was cravings and withdrawls, but i found with the knowledge i gained from my reading and Joels videos i knew how to deal with them..the biggest hurdle is ACTUALLY QUITTING...just stop...period...NTAP....NOPE.. . On Nov.29th my 5th granddaughter was born and sometime after the first of the year (daughter#2) informed us of granddaughter #6 joining us in May...who knows...maybe I will stick around to see them grow up...somebody has to screen the boys they will want to date.... . And on a sad note, my younger sister was diagnosed with lung cancer in Jan of 2014...She has endured Chemo and radiation trreatments the whole month of March...she is strong and has a good spirit... . my daughters all live a few hours away, so they were not around to pat me on the shoulder (dont get me wrong..they are extremely happy I quit)..and my wife works a strange schedule (12hr shifts and every other week-end), so I didnt get a bunch of support at home....so when i found a message board for support to help stop smoking, it was a huge help...imagine, a (virtual) room full of others who was also starting out in their quit...its like they knew what i was going through....lol...I firstt joind when i was 2 1/2 months quit, and came to THIS board in my 4th month.... . So...any newbie who has endured my suspect writing skills and read this to the end, i would encourage you to make the descision to quit and use the resorces here to experiance the freedom you can feel by finally quit smoking...... Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/252-my-quit-story-sorry-its-long/

Wow @QuittingGirl, your mom IS amazing! I'm happy for you all that she sailed through the surgery. Here's to many more years with your mom Thanks for sharing @Genecanuck, you're doing awesome!!

@tocevoD, you relapsed again?! Getting back is only part of it tocevod, you also need to stick around and reach out to us when you need the extra support. We can help you think rational when you start wanting to cave to a crave. We are here to support you and hold your hand through the hard parts so that you too can be successful like the rest of us. You deserve it and so does your son!