notsmokinjo

Well seeing as it's the lingo of the Aussie dontcha reckon Strine originated in Straya?

Walk he said, best way to start he said...so here's a tip punters...don't decide to walk 5.5km in the dark still wearing ya ankle boots with heels....cos ya having a dummy spit with the others in ya house. Did you know you could get blisters on the cops of your toes, between the nail and foot...and on the balls of ya feet...under your big toe...on the ends of your toes?....well ya can. Oh and if ya feet start hurting that is ya body saying stop...not do another 3.5km....had to take me socks off in the shower cos o f the state they were in....BUT...besides me feet b eeing a pulpy mess ain't to sore. Do I walk again tonight?

Did you mean the Bogan Strine dictionary?

More than you'd think. When is the right time to fart?

Ain't it Ah--cun-sore?

So I'm the Nigel who voted drums....and me reason is simple....they got less bones...see I'm not a fan of eating meat with bones, I frickin hate it...so by process of elimination I had to go for drums..cos less bones.

I found week 3 hard....and then a customer on the other side of the country asked on the phone if was ok because I didn't seem myself, so I mentioned my quit and he gave me advice that really helped me.... Don't worry about tomorrow, just worry about today. Promise yaself Today I am not going to smoke and then make sure you dont. You know you can not smoke for 24 hours, you did it yesterday and the day before. Only focus on the next 24. It works.

Done here we call it "the Parson's Nose"....usually goes to one of the animals, or one of the dogs.

Probably, if dwarf tossing is sport why not duck bowling. Why does everything feel better in 3 days?

You don't need to use nrt cheque. You could just use normal stuff...um maybe that cinnamon stuff cos it has a bit of a bite to it. The action of chewing is still met without the nasty poisons and drugs.

Sorry...being a bit daft here but is smokeless tobacco that chewing stuff or vaping?...not that it really matters both are a nicotine addiction. I was not a cold turkey quitter, I used nrt chewies (gum). If you do choose this method i suggest going in with an exit plan....while on the nrt you are still feeding the addiction so you need to be pretty strict with how you plan to cut down and stop the nrt. Set time frames and daily limits. We are all different but if you want to know shat worked for me im happy to share.

Oh look...Sia when her fringe wasn't too long to see her face...

Have you been spying in my bedroom?

Wot you can't see me driving a classy car like this...

Was that rhetorical? Is this sarcasm?

Hmm..... 1. I once had a car that had so many rust spots that when it rained you could hear the water whooshing inside the the door when you turned corners and if you moved the floor mat you could watch the road go by. 2. I once had a car that my brother cracked the chassis on so my dad just welded it back together and I kept driving it for nearly 6 more years. 3. I once had a car that had a coat hanger bent into the shape of Australia as an antenna when the real one snapped off.

The best bit about Rockwiz was that the 2 my was guests would do a duet at the end, even it t h e episode was at o t the duets were worth it...oh an it was filmed at The Espy....one of t h e best live gig pubs in Melbourne...

Not sure if these are a thing elsewhere in the world but down under we have had a few music trivia tv shows... my two go to ones were 'Spicks n Specks' ... 2 teams of 3 celebs and 'Rock Wizz'.....2 teams with a muso and 2 randoms from the audience. These are specials Spicks n Specks did a nd not normal weekly episodes

Wouldn't it just be better to make the pillowcase outta shamwow?

I think it is 2 for the lie. (One night there was a new, shiney, barely legal bouncer (down here that's 18) and he says you Bruce, the old bouncer, should we stop them? And Bruce says "yeah-nah mate, no ones pissed emselves yet or got hurt")

@Sazerac Jordie is awesome, I've seen him at the pubs a few times....his mum is a pretty fan p us Aussie stand up comedian, tv personality, author, etc...Denise Scott (his mum) is a grouse old chook. Off to post some Denise in the comedy spot.

And the winner is @jillar ... 1. Nope, when drunk I would occasionally think I could walk the tightrope and do so on the balcony rail at my pub but if I fell it was only 1 story and I'd usually land on people waiting below....Never have I ever attempted a tumble line. 2. Yep, many times. I always wondered what the randoms getting my letters would think. 3. Poll questions included helmet or no helmet, bare or hair, left or right.... we were regulars, the bouncers thought it was a hoot...my cousins, not so much.

15...me.

14...counting in moderation, I did my time in the COSA program.

Oh..yay...me... digging into the bag of goodies that make up all things Jo...... When i was drunk ... 1) I would think I had amazing gymnastic skills and try to do tumble lines that ended in disaster and injuries that I would realise until the next morning. 2) I would scrounge a pen from the bar, write a letter on the back of a coaster stick a stamp on it, pull a random name and address from the phone book and send it. (Omg remember when there were public phones with phone books, them were the days) 3) I would conduct random yes/no dunny polls which involved me (And my cousins' gurlfriends who i may or may not have been corrupting) blocking entrance to the blokes loo until they answered the question of the night.