backtoreality

Finally, finally FINALLY put five days together after a week of buying packs and tossing them after 1-4 smokes. Finally put five days together after having a real hard look at how good life can be when I'm free. Five days feel like a miracle after all these years, but I'm determined to have not one puff ever. Thank you, all of you, for spending time here sharing your experience. If not for this forum I would be so much more tempted and if I ever smoke again, I don't know if I'll make it back.

Nope. Not one puff ever. Or at least, for today.

I'm heading backtoreality (hence my screen name) after being a smoker for 27 years out of 57. I quit for nine of them and felt the best I've ever felt but relapsed and it started another chapter of smoking for over a decade. My mother lost her life at age 41 (I was 15) to smoking, but that never slowed me down and I considered myself a confirmed smoker who would/could never even consider quitting again. Then my younger sister (another forever smoker) quit a year ago. I was so impressed and amazed that it inspired me to start harboring a tiny flicker of hope that I could quit, too, maybe? I decided to be free from cigarettes two weeks ago (1/11/18) but then spent the first week and a half mooching smokes off people, buying whole packs, smoking one to four of them, then soaking them in the sink and tossing them away. I tried not to beat myself up over it and just kept educating myself and strengthening my resolve. Thanks to Allen Carr's book, The Easy Way to Stop Smoking, I have new hope and a whole other way of seeing this addiction for what it really is. This is Day 4 and it's been emotional and strange quitting. Lots of feelings bombing into my psyche, insomnia for a couple of days running and alternating states of frustrated "arrrgh's" and proudly amazed "ahhh's." What a rollercoaster! It's been a Godsend, having this forum, and I've been educating myself with YouTube videos, the reddit stop smoking forums and lots of books. I put a quit smoking app on my phone and look at my early progress dozens of times a day. I've also cut way back on sugar and caffeine, chugging water instead (which seems to lessen the cravings) Prior to quitting, I drank sweet tea and cola all day, every day, so the concept of hydrating my body with actual water never crossed my mind. Here's to healthy changes! I will never take another puff of a cigarette. No matter what. My final cigarette was smushed out at 10:30 a.m. on January 18th, 2018.

Hey, Janie girl... Breathe deep and take in the freedom. Yeah, it may feel like a cigarette will solve these emotions but you know it's just a lie. Every single time you fight an urge, you starve the beast. Embrace those struggles! It means the beast is dying with every ignored craving. Your quit is a fragile sprout, a newborn. Treat it just that gently and before you know it, you won't even miss these horrible nicotine sticks. Life is worth living and this is the best gift you can give yourself.