Hello folks. About me.
Daily smoker for 37 years, I'm a young 52(lol) (holy shit it just dawned on me)
I don't smoke in the house but I can "free" smoke at work. I spend a lot of time driving a box truck. My wife smokes but she is considerate of my situation.
Not a heavy drinker, Maybe a six pack a mos. healthy but about 40 lbs over weight, Love coffee, and I smoke/vape cannabis daily. Not a lot, but often when not working.
I don't use any other drugs other than the occasional over the counter pain med and heartburn tablet etc.
My job is pretty physical other than driving about 500 miles a week.
December 22-25 was a tough time. Got the cold/flu bug and was knocked on my butt. Worst I've felt in more than a decade. The cough was absolutely terrible. I could literally hear the clatter in my lungs. I'm a workaholic and I couldn't work or enjoy time with family and friends during the Christmas holidays.
I spent my holiday in bed drinking carbs, lol.
While I was sick my smoking was limited from 1.5- 2 packs a day to 5 or 6 cigarettes per day. When I started feeling better(much better) I came to the notion that if I can do this while sick then I should be able to do it when well. My dad( a quitter for 25 years) has been encouraging me to quit for years. While explaining to him why I couldn't attend Christmas dinner and listening to him blame my ailment on smoking(of course lol) he suggested I get the nicotine patch, his aid in quitting. I sad nonchalantly, no biggie. I can do it without. Oh how wrong I was. My mind was plying trickery on me. Actually, It was flat out lying. Did good with smoking less than 10 cigarettes per day following Christmas through New Years but when the work routine got back to normal it got tough. Huge anxiety, sleeplessness, bad dreams. It was torture Talked to my dad on the 4th as I do most every day and he said he ordered a nicotine patch kit for me and I should get it Friday, the 6th. I thought, Oh shit, I'm really going to do this. This is the real deal. So I decided I would start on Saturday. As my addicted mind said, I can smoke more till then but I only ended up smoking 11 cigarettes Friday with my last one being 10:30pm. It was absolutely HUGE to leave for work Saturday morning without a pack. Been doing a 21mg patch since. 10:30 this evening will be three days smoke free. Longest I have ever quit.
Seems that the patch helps with the anxiety but my mind tells me there is something missing without specifying exactly what. The reward system is missing something. Its absolutely amazing how much of my daily routine revolves around cigarettes. Everything changes. This challenge is going to be more than just not smoking. I try to avoid things that remind me of smoking but most everything does. I use to spend a lot of time in the garage but not lately. I used to smoke a lot while driving. Messing around with motorcycles and smoking cannabis in the garage, I smoked a whole lot there.. My favorite room in the house
The temptation comes and goes but mostly stays. Its tough even with the patch. Harder than I thought it would be and trying not to satisfy the reward system in my head with food.
Please forgive me for rambling all over the place but this is something I can do that doesn't remind me of smoking.
Am I over thinking it?