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christine 12

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Blog Entries posted by christine 12

  1. The good and the bad

    · christine 12 · 06/28/18 02:23 PM

    Almost two days into this quit. I have a good feeling about this one. 
     
    The good: heart palpitations have just about stopped, time seems to be going at a normal pace, not obsessing about smoking/cigarettes
     
    The bad: severe insomnia, I can only sleep for a few minutes to about a half an hour. very irritable, which is highly unusual, even for a quit attempt
     
    Thoughts: this seems like a horrible time to quit, with everything that is going on right now, with family and with health issues. On the other hand, there is never going to be an "ideal" time to quit. I'm always going to have something going on. 
     
    With my oldest son here it helps out a lot. 

  3. three days

    · christine 12 · 06/29/18 05:47 PM

    I've hit the three day mark. Yay! I suppose I'm doing pretty good, I haven't been obsessing over cigarettes like I was last time. I guess I'm just too busy and stressed out to be obsessing over it. Lots of cravings, but not obsessing for hours at a time. Quite irritable yesterday. I feel less irritable this morning. I am quitting caffeine as well. Doctor's orders. So I will be drinking my last cup tomorrow morning. I had to cut down over several days. I have had insomnia the past three nights. it gets better each night. I got a little pissed yesterday morning as I woke up, when I realized I couldn't have a cigarette,and I said "goddammit!". I just have to remind myself I CAN if I want, I just choose not to. I CHOOSE NOT TO!!!!

  4. two days

    · christine 12 · 06/28/18 06:13 PM

    I'm now past the second day mark for this quit. I still have a good feeling about this time, like this is finally the time that I'll do it. I am pretty stressed out about other things that I'm dealing with. But I seem to be managing fairly well with out a cigarette.

  7. Haven't given up

    · christine 12 · 06/03/18 11:22 AM

    I just have to keep trying. I can't sleep, it looks like an all-nighter. I am going to make it worse by having coffee in a half hour or so. I will sleep for a couple hours after my boyfriend gets up. It's easier to sleep when he's awake anyway. Luckily it's the weekend so he's home all day. He didn't buy a pack tonight, so I think he's ready to quit. I hope so. I will quit again by wednesday, for certain reasons I won't go into here right now. 
     
     
  8. I am not normally a drama queen, but it's just really HARD for some reason to quit and I feel like I'm being a big baby about it. The other times I tried to quit, it didn't seem to last for hours. Maybe I just gave in soon after the obsessive thoughts started? Or possibly I'm just having a manic episode. This is a possibility due to being schizoaffective. Either way, I need to deal with it. I am running out of energy from pacing around too much. I even went to sit in the smoking chair in the garage, to see how I would feel. It didn't do anything, except the air STANK like old cigarette butts.
     
    I do feel somewhat better than I did a half hour ago. Still thinking about it, but it is not overwhelming. I've been smoking since I was twelve. Most of my life. I really want to quit. I will quit this time. 

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