I've just had an afternoon out with one of my closest girlfriends ...
She's a specialist nurse in oncology. She has known me for 26 years and in that time she has watched my constant quits and relapses, she has never judged me or lectured me. Today I was telling her about this quit, and the forum and all the support I've been getting, I explained to her how determined I am to stay quit this time.
She must have seen something different in me becaue for the first time she started to tell me what it's like to watch people die of lung cancer, how it is for their loved one's to watch them. She told me of a patient that died from copd and emphysema. She told me of a 36 year old woman and how she reacted when she found out she had lung cancer, she'd never smoked but was always around her very heavy smoking parents, she told me how guilty her parents felt. She deals with this every day, and every day she get's newly diagnosed patients.
My friend pleaded with me to never smoke again, she said she couldn't bare the thought of seeing me go through that, she couldn't bare to see my family watch me go through that.
Perhaps this wouldn't be everyone's idea of a great afternoon, but it was, because she really got through to me. I haven't passed this on to you all to upset you, I'm hoping it will make you all even more determined to make this your very last quit.
I was going to ask her why she'd never told me all of this before, but I know the answer, it was because I wasn't ready to listen. My friend is a very wise woman !
Sue x