PinkyPromise

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It was our WEDDING cruise too LOL

Ew damn :( I'm sorry you ended up at the hospital! I had cellulitis once and I'm not big at all -- it's basically a nasty infection usually where a wound is. I'd burned the hell out of my leg with a hand held steamer and then went to the Bahamas... I thought salt water would be helpful so I hopped on in, went snorkeling, floating around. Evidently that made it worse. Anyhow -- last night of the cruise my husband was like -- "Look, you're turning pale and sweaty and you need to go to the infirmary." I was like -- "Noooo, I've got this. I can tough it out!" Gimped on over because he made me get it checked out and it was just bad. We had to go to the ER directly after getting off the ship -- between the treatment on the cruise ship and the cost of the ER, we spent all of our wedding gift money. Good times. THAT is my cellulitis story!

We got a little busy over here -- Santa Pics, Family Pics, kids are out of school, all that jazz lol

hahaha, whoops! OK, let's do this: -4

Blink 182 - I Miss You -- love that one. I actually still burn CDs for my car So that's on disk #4 along with a Peter Murphy/Postal Service Mashup which I can't find anywhere to share, but it rocks. So here's this one instead:

Cracking up about the Bakon commentary

Hi Jules I am new here but I think I saw some older posts you'd made. We can be "new quitters" together lol

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I can't say I really "LIKE" this song -- but it's about a train -- a quit train LOL -- and I remember dancing to this amazing hit back at high school homecoming dances

-1 morning!!

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I feel a lot like this as well. I have a LOT of reasons to stay quit. My main motivation overall is my children. However -- what is helping me stay quit... hell, that changes every day. Sometimes several times a day. If my asshole sister can quit, so can I. Money -- I can save $130.95 a month. Smoker's lips -- gross, right? I have to sometimes just sit and browse for smoking related illness pics. And YES, there are times when I'm feeling like -- no, I can't fail this. I don't need any jackass all lined up to tell me "I told ya so" -- like as if they are wishing me ill or didn't believe I could quit. Mostly I just enjoy that I'm free to complain and whine as much as I want and my husband and kids don't care. I spent at least an hour wrestling with 1,500 lights in the Christmas tree last weekend and just grumbled and bitched toward the end -- hubby was like, "Do you want me to finish those?" "NO! What I WANT is a cigarette, THAT is what I want!" So my 6 year old daughter comes on over, "Here mama, I brought you a lollipop, I think this will help. And I'm proud of you, mama." 3 year old son comes over and looks up at me. "Lollipop?" -- I take it out of my mouth and hand it to him... he walks off with it. Hubby brings a new one and a fresh coffee. *sigh* I got this.

Yes, this! I have this also! I know exactly the feeling you are talking about and you're right -- it's not like a thought you're having but an overall feeling... I'm glad to hear yours are slowing down and getting less intense.

Yes, this! I 100% was hoping to minimize my hardcore sucking days LOL I truthfully have no idea whether I did or did not. I don't know how different any of this would have gone if I'd ended up NOT having any side effects with the Chantix. Or if I went cold turkey. I can't even pretend to know and at this point it doesn't even matter... I feel like I'm in it to win it no matter what. Ya know but I really DO still feel a LOT like that damn dinosaur someone posted... I need to go find that shit and repost, just so I can laugh.

I have been on an absolute rampage with my food consumption the last month... I mean, LAWD! I'll get it under control here soon. I haven't actually hopped on a scale, so I don't know how much weight I have gained, but I can still manage to roll into my jeans if I do some jumping around and stretching and such... and walk funny, and have some muffin top. Bottom line is they can still at least go on I don't eat a whole lot at Thanksgiving, truthfully -- I just don't like most traditional food... like turkey or stuffing... and sweet potatoes with marshmallows?? Ew sick!

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I feel like... like what JetBlack was looking for here was more or less "why is it harder for some people than other people". And for those who have a more difficult time, what's the most helpful thing to get through/push through the most difficult days. I have had a few really tough days here the last few days. I think I may have gone about this whole situation all wrong -- nevertheless, here I am not smoking lol I was reading about cloves today. That's what I smoked -- not because I ever had some delusion that they weren't as bad as regular cigarettes, but rather it was just because I liked them. I hated the taste of regular cigarettes the few times I'd tried them and they choked me up too, they just were not at all an enjoyable smoke to me. They smelled bad too. Cloves are about 60% tobacco and 40% crushed clove so the taste, feel, smell, it's all entirely different. I read a few articles today that suggested they actually had higher levels of nicotine and in some ways are even worse for you than basic cigarettes. I don't know if that's accurate -- they were just blog type articles but they did cite the CDC in a few places. I just need to read and re-read information about how bad smoking is for me. It helps me keep my head about it all when I'm dying to walk out the door and buy "just one pack". I don't know why some people can walk away with less withdrawals than others. I don't know why some people only suffer for a week or 2 and some seem to linger in a crappy place for months. For myself -- I should have gone cold turkey. I do know several people who successfully quit smoking by leveling down their nicotine and using a vape. The main difference between what they did and what I did was the length of time. They had a month or so of co-smoking while vaping, weaning off the smokes, then started with a much higher level of nicotine than I did and stuck with that level for weeks or months before stepping down. It was a super, super gradual quit. I mean, I don't think any of them (aside from my Dad & myself) went into it with the intention of quitting -- it was just the idea that vaping was less problematic, health wise, than smoking cigarettes. Once they started slowly stepping down nicotine it became a new goal to quit all together. So, there's that. They didn't have jack for withdrawals until they got to the very, very end. At that point it was really minimal, just not that huge a deal. My husband never even said a word, he just stopped one day. Meanwhile I have been over here just raging. My hardest part was the week leading up to dropping cigarettes because I was used to smoking 12-15 a ay and I lowered it to 5-6 -- so I'm walking around having withdrawals like literally half the time I'm awake. Then no more cigarettes and only 6mg of nicotine, that took at least 7-10 days to get used to and lemme say this: It sucked. The step down to 3 mg wasn't difficult or painful at all, no withdrawals to speak of. Then I went to 0 last Thursday and this entire week has sucked -- every single day. Every day I say "Ok, if I feel like this tomorrow I will go buy a pack." -- hoping I don't feel like this tomorrow -- yet I do, so I say it again. Today has been LESS painful than yesterday -- for the very first time, but it hasn't been easy. If I was going to "slow down" smoking and use a vape for the next year, fine, that probably wouldn't have been the major nightmare that this has been -- but I have done the condensed version so it's been nothing but a long ass, miserable prolonged 6 week succession of withdrawals. Is this how people using the patch and the gum feel as well? I mean -- if I HAD stopped cold turkey, would I still be fighting my quit like this a month later? Can anyone even accurately answer that? I don't know if any of this has jack to do with anything else -- maybe my vaping and stepping down helped make this easier -- maybe the withdrawals lasted longer but haven't been as acute. Maybe it kept me from smoking. Maybe CT would have been easier -- so that seems like I'm saying CT is easy. I don't think it is. So, I feel like my entire reply here is utterly pointless and I'm gonna click submit anyway and go finish making my friggin acorn squash.

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https://www.tripadvisor.com/Restaurant_Review-g34420-d5617972-Reviews-Doreen_s_Cup_of_Joe-Marco_Island_Florida.html

So Joe -- this is your first Gulf side vacation? You're going to love it; the water is more clear in the gulf than the Atlantic unless you get way south... into the Keys. The sand is whiter and softer as well... less waves. I think you meant Irma, not Isabel... unless somethings happened during my quit funk and I missed it all together LOL Most everything is back to normal, pre-Irma condition down here. It took longer is some areas than for others and here in my part we still have a crap ton of debris that hasn't been cleared because of the trouble the city is having trying to find safe places to dump and burn it... it's evidently costing a fortune. Who knew.. ANYWAY -- there's a cute local breakfast deli place there that everyone loves. The name is fitting for this forum as well: Doreen's Cup of Joe Have a great time, enjoy our sunshine, plenty to go around

Sarge -- the ONLY way you'll see me running is if there's a bear chasing me. They actually do live in my neighborhood so it COULD happen... but highly doubtful I wanna go with Jet's suggestion that indeed the jeans shrunk in the dryer. Also, leggings and pajama pants are a perfectly good daily uniform for a stay at home mom... let's just hope I don't need to leave the house. Listen to this -- I watch Hulu, they have 6 second commercial breaks. During the commercial breaks the last few nights I have done crunches -- like, half assed crunches, but still. I feel I'm making real progress here.

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