Christian99

We're so happy you're here, Deggit! For many of us, it took multiple attempts before finding and executing our forever quit, so you're not alone. My suggestion is to try something different--that is, try adding a new dimension to this (forever!) quit. For me, that new dimension was exercise and a new approach to food and nutrition. Making some important changes in these areas gave me something positive and proactive to focus on, instead of just the thing that I was avoiding. But whatever approach you use, know that it CAN be done, and it will absolutely transform your life. Christian99 22+ Years Quit

Hi Diane-- FWIW, I'd say don't worry at all about the nicotine lozenges: the "enemy" here is cigarettes, not nicotine. Any day that you don't smoke is a win. Period. The first few weeks and months can really, really suck. They certainly did for me. I often tell people that quitting was far more difficult than I expected (and I think I went in with reasonable expectations) AND far more transformative. You're experiencing the former; the latter awaits you, I promise. Hang in there, friend-- Christian99 22 1/2 Years Quit

Thank you, Gus. I wish you peace and comfort in your loss. C99

I can't watch the following ad without crying, in large part because the man bears a striking resemblance to my brother, who died a terrible death from lung cancer at age 42. https://www.google.com/search?q=que+sera+sera+smoking+ad&oq=que+sera+sera+smoking+ad&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUyBggAEEUYOTIHCAEQIRigATIHCAIQIRigATIHCAMQIRigATIHCAQQIRigATIHCAUQIRigAdIBCDU1ODRqMGo3qAIAsAIA&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:24cf3297,vid:8TCS9LbihCQ,st:0

Welcome back, tocevoD. It's a great idea, I think, to get back to the gym on a regular basis: this was a crucial dimension of my own quit. I paired that with some significant changes in my diet as well, hoping that the fitness and food would give me things in which I could actively engage and on which I could focus my attention (instead of on the thing I was ostensibly denying myself). Another way to say this is that I began a self-improvement project centered on HEALTH, of which quitting smoking was just one (super important) part. Whatever approach you use (and, BTW, the "Ben and Jerry's Plan" is just as legitimate and noble as my more abstemious one), we know you can do it and will be cheering you on. Christian99 22+ Years Quit

Warmest congratulations, Jillar! I deeply admire your commitment and contributions to this site and to fellow quitters. Christian99

Love the post and the perspective, L4L. I've had a really terrible couple of years, and I've insisted to myself to remain vigilant. Thankfully, I haven't experienced any urges, but I know that they're possible, especially in this vulnerable state. Christian99 22+ Years Quit

Totally understand, and just to be clear I was responding to the original poster's invitation for anyone's thoughts on Carr--I definitely wasn't criticizing any individual or response. C99

I am not a fan of Carr's book. I raise this not to disparage the work or those who find it helpful: there is absolutely no doubt that it has helped a lot a people and saved a lot of lives. That's an incredible accomplishment and legacy. But I mention this because at times Carr and his positions were (and I think to some extent still are) viewed as almost sacrosanct and that if one didn't/doesn't subscribe to his method or identify with his style then there is something deficient in the quitter's approach. I should note that this almost cult-like devotion was mostly apparent to me as I was first quitting and in the the first decade or so of my freedom, and I don't really know if it's as prevalent today. That said, I did have some exchanges about and with Joel Spitzer in the 20 teens (maybe on this site, maybe on a previous one) that suggested to me that there's still a kind of "The Easyway is the Onlyway" bias in quitting circles. And in terms of approach, Carr and Spitzer have lots of similarities, well beyond their shared antipathy toward NRT. I am sharing this, too, because I want to validate other experiences of and approaches to quitting. For some people (like me, for instance), there was or is no easy way: quitting can be messy, complicated, miserable, and seemingly interminable, and simple reframing of the experience does little to mitigate it. In fact, I'd argue that it can even intensify the difficulty if one internalizes the message that it can and should be easy. Some quitters, for a range of reasons, need to lean into the misery; those of us who did or do might find that Carr simply does not resonate with (and even, in the worst case, insults) us. So if Carr doesn't speak to you, it doesn't mean you're not listening; it could be that you're equipped--temperamentally, intellectually, emotionally--to respond to a different speaker and message. Christian99 22+ Years Quit

I really appreciate and admire your post. At more than 20 years quit, I try never to forget that I'm a smoking addict. A small part of me (I hope!) will always have extraordinary fear of the addiction (and the initial puff that would reactivate it). That's not to say that it negatively impacts me (in fact, the exact opposite is true, as my smoke free status is a source of enormous pride), but I remain vigilant regarding the enormous power of this addiction. Thank you for posting this, and I'm wishing you the very best-- Christian99 22+ Years Quit

Good to hear that you're still committed to a smoke free future, Susie! The one thing I'll note is to be careful about placing too much emphasis on a "better" time to quit: most of us have found that any time one chooses has its (sometimes profound) challenges, and waiting for the right time can sometimes be an unconscious avoidance strategy. It will suck whenever you do it (and it will probably still suck with NRTs), but it will be so worth it. C99

Hi Susie-- I'll disagree with some of the advice you've received and the impressions you've drawn about NRT (even if one begins a quit without it). It is a valuable tool used by many quitters, and it is simply not true that quit outcomes are worse or the experience is somehow more challenging when this tool is used. Please consider quitting again soon, and think about what other tools/approaches (including NRT) you'll utilize this next time. I used the gum, wellbutrin, and daily exercise. We know you can do it! Christian99 22+ Years Quit

Thanks everyone! It's been a challenging year, health-wise, but things are finally looking up in that regard. My smokefree identity remains something I'm incredibly proud of and grateful for, and I've definitely used the lessons of it as I've navigated the past year. Treating myself to a couple of weeks in the caribbean next month Cheers-- C99

You've gotten some awesome advice, QG. The only thing I'd add is to consider adopting other healthy activities or interests, so that this healthy persona can serve as additional support for you during vulnerable moments. I did something like that when I quit, and it seemed to help (a bit): when I was feeling especially crappy or cravey, I'd imagine the act of actually smoking and it would seem completely antithetical to this new version of myself that I was creating. It's also true that it gave me positive, proactive things on which to focus (going to the gym, shopping at health food stores, etc.) instead the thing I was ostensibly denying myself. Keep up the incredible work, friend-- Christian99 Nearing 22 Years Quit

Hi Linda-- In December 2001, I gave away a three week quit: like you, I was pretty devastated. But a couple of days later, I screwed up the courage to try again, and the cigarette I had on the evening of December 10th was the last one of my life. I share this with you to let you know that, as hard as it seems right now and as discouraged as you might feel, your forever quit can begin right now. You CAN do it. Peace-- Christian99 Nearing 22 Years Quit