And now 4 years and a couple of days later, you've got both your precious feet IN on your victorious quit!
You're an inspiration to me, Doreen and I really need one this evening. I got sucker punched out of the blue with strong urges and crazy thoughts about smoking. It's been going on most of the evening. This comes in the midst of maddening issues with my mom and remembering my old "coping" method (aka suicide method) of dealing with this long-standing relational problem. Yes, I was (am) addicted to nicotine but It's also so clear now that I used smoking as an escape from that situation- as a way of pushing down my emotions. Not that it ever actually worked for any length of time or solved anything- that's the part I have to remember and really take in. Fact is, it really only made things worse because I never faced it or dealt with it. So here I am in the harsh unfiltered light of reality, staring down this old problem. I remember that there's a good Joel Spitzer video on this very issue, which I intend to watch tonight.
Thanks for "listening" whoever has taken the time to read. I just wanted to put this out there in the hope that, by doing so, I can release some of the negative energy that's been brewing tonight. This is NOT an SOS: no way and I going to smoke. I'm just stuck in a loop of really stupid thoughts that are making me pretty miserable tonight. This too shall pass...