AgaveGirl, I'm having an emotional reaction to your postings and here's why:
I can't think of anyone else I've come across on the Quit Train who isn't, at the point of their posting, in the state of having already quit smoking- even if it was just a short time prior to the post. Yes, there are some who are on the patch, or using Chantix or other methods of quitting but smoking 5 cigarettes a day is not having quit smoking, I realize you're not representing yourself as having quit smoking (stubborn irremovable ticker notwithstanding) and it makes me wonder why you are being so persistent today with your postings, making so many attempts to... not sure what.... maybe get validation or support for your approach.
In any case, I also think part of my reaction has to do with knowing there are many lurkers about who are thinking of quitting smoking, who are trying to garner the courage to take the leap. Having been in a similar frame of mind and on a similar course of action, had I seen your postings a few years back, I know I would have grabbed and held onto your words as another justification to keep smoking, all the while telling myself that I was "quitting". The fact is, there is no such thing as "quitting" there is only "quit". Cutting down is not quitting. It's cutting down. So I guess part of my reaction has to do with the protectiveness I feel toward the unseen lurkers who are vulnerable, as I very much was at one time, to being talked into justifications to continue playing with the addiction- to underestimating the validity of the law of addiction. I did that for a long time and I'm so relieved now to be over that stage. I think you ask a valid question when you wonder whether this is the right site for you. I'm not the judge and jury where that's concerned but if asked for my vote, as nice as you seem to be, my vote would be "no."