Hi I am new to this site and have joined because I have just thrown out the cigarette stubs...yes stubs, cause I have been reduced to smoking these as I have run out of cigarettes and I am broke!! this is a common theme for me and I am fed up, sick and tired of trying to make ends meet and smoke! I have given up before for short periods of time, mostly at the request of concerned family members. This of course, whilst noble... I tell myself I am doing this for my family etc, does not work cause I have not deep down wanted to stop. NOw this course of action leads to resentment (not fair at all at those I am resentful at) and deception...mostly of myself. The situation has changed, I am now desperately wanting to quit and change my life, from one who is constantly digging around and planning my cigarette binge to somebody clinging inch by inch to the thought that I can in fact live a life without cigarettes. I have smoked for close on 35 years and yes my world revolved around the next cigarette break. I have been an active person, believe it or not, a worker and carer of others. my vice was my only respite from the world and I have used it that way for all this time. I also have a mental illness, where of course stress being a key factor only helped to cement my addiction. I know others who have quit and I am in awe of them especially those who suffer from chronic bouts of mental illness...how do they do it? I know this is a long post but I feel v vunerable and want so much to see a future with myself smoke free and happy.
