beacon

7

7

7

Nope

-1

Nope

-6

-3 Colleen, you look great!

Today at the dentist, he stopped for a moment and asked to examine my tongue in detail. I thought oh sh--t, is it time to pay the piper? Tongue cancer! I spent a few seconds thinking about me with no tongue and chemo and the horror. I thought here is the result of 30 years of smoking, my stupidity, my feeling of invincibility letting me suck up death sticks for so long. After a few seconds he moved on. All routine. Phew! Another reason never to take another puff. Another reason not to fool myself into thinking that smoking will some how help me deal with stress, or diet, etc.

Huge anger issues here too for the longest time. I thought everyone was conspiring against me at work, for example. And with no way to suck the anger down again into a pile of smoke I have learned other ways to cope such as exercise, meditation, making some changes to things that no longer appear to be acceptable. It took awhile. And even if I am no longer as carefree as I once was, I am still not smoking

-4

Nope

Nope

Woo!

-20

I am watching the show now. I have a bunch recorded

-18

-14

-12

Nope

-11

-11

Cheer

New potato

-9