I don't really want to call them cravings, because they're nothing like the first week at all. At almost a month in, they're more like thoughts, along the lines of "I could REALLY go for a piece of chocolate cake right now." But if you don't have chocolate cake on hand, it's not a big deal. You forget about it quickly and move on.
And since that day recently where I caught myself not thinking about smoking, I have longer and longer stretches of time where I don't think about it at all.
But, out of the blue, these nagging thoughts of wanting a smoke pop into my brain.
Had a pretty strong one last night at a point where it was probably about the most ridiculous thing I could have done.
One of my current projects involves creating a series of digital illustrations. That means a lot of time spent hunched over a tablet doing detail work and going back and forth between the main monitors and the tablet monitor. Basically that equals tired eyes and stiff muscles for me, especially since I can easily spend 8 - 12 or more hours on one of these.
When I smoked, because I needed to feed my nicotine addiction, I would get up every hour for a "smoke and stretch" and get away from the computer, stretch out my stiff muscles before I got back to it.
Last night, I worked for about 6 hours without getting up or really changing position. I usually work from home, sometimes out in the field, depending on the type of project I'm on, so my hours can be weird.
I'm prone to eye migraines (a zig-zag of flashing/strobing lights that appears in your field of vision and lasts about 1/2 hour before going away, can lead to actual migraine or a feeling of being disoriented after), and they come on, for me, from stress and tension. Sometimes I'll go for years without having one, sometimes I'll have 3 in a row and then they stop. They're a little disconcerting.
So, last night, as I'm working, I start to see that strobing light in my vision. I'd sat for too long and my muscles tensed up too much. I went to lie down in a dark room, and when it was over, I got the usual disorientation and at that point, I had a strong urge to go have a smoke. And I laughed at it. Really? Now? When I'm feeling something that is so close to being lightheaded, and it's making me uncomfortable? So, if I had a smoke then, it would just make me...more lightheaded...and more uncomfortable, among other not so good things. So...how's that going to help? Sounds logical. Hahaha. NOPE. Not at all.
Funny thing is, by laughing at the thought, I took away its power and it disappeared. Just like that.
It's strange to me how my brain is still programmed to want a smoke when I need some comfort or reassurance. Once you realize a smoke won't give you any of that, it's easy to dismiss any thought of smoking. It was late, Mr. P was still out, but the cats are goofy and always provide a good distraction. I tossed around some cat toys for them and in a few minutes the disorientation passed. After that, I did a quick yoga routine - one that just involved stretching and deep breathing. And all was right in my world again. Those things brought me more comfort and reassured me that all was OK, than a cigarette ever would.
Bottom line? I have to remember to get up from the computer regularly and stretch out. And comfort will never be found at the butt end of a cigarette. NOPE.
