Still winning

My fella said the same...there is no going back. Once the dresses have arrived I am unable (physically unable I would have to say) to send...a...dress...back... Noooooooo. Can't do it :) At best I keep the ones I don't look as good in and wear them to a lesser event haha.

Thanks guys. I like that I am over worrying rather then needing to worry. I actually really needed that support as I was thinking how awful if this is a road to relapse and I just can't see it. I wonder if that panic will see me through the mental barrier of passing 364 days (my previous world record lol). I've woken up today not so concerned though. I think I'm twisting it into how lucky I have so few moments now that I REALLY notice when one pops up.

Fuckinwankytwunting place tobe, I wish it would just stop now, all of it, I am so very tired of it all and the nasty shit. I am not an f ing lazy c! I am not acrazy menopausal Bitch I am simply me, the best me I can be. I can't deal with pretty boy, poor me's. Snore! Man the fcuk up. fcuk off dopey smoking thoughts! Why has life gotta be so fcuking hard sometimes. I fcuking love this time of year too! Arseholes, fcuk off and be gone...jeez, please let that work!

I am genuinely sympathetic. It sounds like you are the eldest!! Special place :rolleyes: . Go back to america chicky, safe there. xx

That's my....cocktail!! Damn!!

I love who you are and your support. Pleased to be celebrating months with you, massive congrats. x

Noooo!! Well, unless you guys couldn't agree :wink:

Purple is my new quit love. I was always red or blue before :) I always wanted a twin Karen, and we love to garden! :) It'll be ok, it's just a bit odd is all. Like I said was not a problem, nor how it was early days (cause I know that scares newer quits and I promise, not the same at all and much easier if you let it be) but man, it just feels unreal and unfair I would see that and think oooooh, smoking. I guess just my way of checking others have felt this.

Ok, not helping guys :) Have ordered both!! Bad influences lol.

New rug So Many reasons I am happy to be a non smoker, a good numberof them shopping related :D

There was a time when this was a tough choice, a mentally trying choice...I want to be clear, I'm not there now. Those days are well and truly gone and I am forever greatful they are, they really sucked!! This is just plain strange that I am having these thoughts. Seasonal is a big one, I am feeling the change of season and it's my least favourite one. I never liked shopping, you couldn't smoke andhad to freeze outside...I have loved shopping this year, I felt free to start at one end of the town and work my way through without needing to stop outside...but then I kept seeing people smoke today and argh, why am I thinking about this was my thought and then I went to buy a rug lol. It has just un-nerved me tbh. My quit is strong dammit and I'm annoyed at this nonsense. Doreen, I see it too, it's so painful, I don't ever forget again. DF, maybe a replay, that sounds plausible as does MG's season trigger. S, I don't think this quit I have under valued addiction, I have owned who and what I am and it has bequeathed great success to my formerly, well lame quit :) Bandito calls me a dopey tart so often I think I'm immune ;) I will read Ea, it sounds plausible and it doesn't. It's me - I fought so hard - I don't want to be a smoker - why would it try and trip me nw, like now of all the times? Irrelevant because it can't and it won't and of course I'm sure of that but man, really?! How bizarre!

Love you too my favourite cross dresser!! Will read and read again, cheers muchly.

Noit's not code, actual dress advice, which is nicer? http://www.bonprix.co.uk/product/cami-strap-evening-dress-970575/?itemid=13988&template=categorypage&box=recentlyviewed http://www.bonprix.co.uk/product/sequin-sparkle-maxi-dress-924165/?itemid=13910&template=categorypage&box=recentlyviewed For a works party :)

Aw no. Hot toddy as suggested. Can send healing if you'd like to try? :) If not, strength and hot toddy vibes being sent your way. x

How ya doin Laura??

Hats and Boots Chrys, and Dallas. I knew where disneyworld was :) And I saw savannah on the airplane map and was all, oh DD is there but yeah, we're a bit pants. We get irate at being called British so I get your annoyance in a way!! I shall get to grips with some states in "the middle bit" just for you :)

Longest title ever but just blogged and thought, nah, need some advice here. Any welcome. x I am 8 months and some change quit. I have a vigilant, supported, hard fought for quit and I genuinely love being a non smoker. I'm not just saying it. I have no desire to be a smoker ever again, I will not be chained, I will not be sick by choice apart from anything I've already done. I was on holiday, holiday triggers, yep! Got it, fought it!! Screw that, no way. I understand, it's a situation I haven't faced before. I've seen it at parties, in gatherings. When we meet with friends. All done and dusted, I can go out with smokers now and socialise, I don't think about smoking doing that. Then there's this last couple of weeks and it's just plain odd. It's almost like going back to the rinse and repeat month, except it's different too. Then it was wanna smoke, don't smoke, ok. Wanna smoke, don't smoke, OK. Now it's what the actual F, why am I looking longingly at that person who gets to smoke...oh hold on a minute...doesn't get to smoke, HAS to smoke, I don't want to smoke (really? you really don't?), duh. That is where I am and I don't understand this one? I feel like someone has delivered me to the wrong party!! Shopping today I looked at people smoking twice and thought man, I can't smoke like they can and felt sad. So to me there's no relapse being planned subconciously or anything I just don't understand why I would feel that when I don't want to smoke? So I brought myself a nice new rug. In case I'm tempted, I spunked my money on something beautiful, but I don't think I am. I'm a bit confused. Vigilant and aware, but confused.

I am 8 months and some change quit. I have a vigilant, supported, hard fought for quit and I genuinely love being a non smoker. I'm not just saying it. I have no desire to be a smoker ever again, I will not be chained, I will not be sick by choice apart from anything I've already done. I was on holiday, holiday triggers, yep! Got it, fought it!! Screw that, no way. I understand, it's a situation I haven't faced before. I've seen it at parties, in gatherings. When we meet with friends. All done and dusted, I can go out with smokers now and socialise, I don't think about smoking doing that. Then there's this last couple of weeks and it's just plain odd. It's almost like going back to the rinse and repeat month, except it's different too. Then it was wanna smoke, don't smoke, ok. Wanna smoke, don't smoke, OK. Now it's what the actual F, why am I looking longingly at that person who gets to smoke...oh hold on a minute...doesn't get to smoke, HAS to smoke, I don't want to smoke (really? you really don't?), duh. That is where I am and I don't understand this one? I feel like someone has delivered me to the wrong party!! Shopping today I looked at people smoking twice and thought man, I can't smoke like they can and felt sad. So to me there's no relapse being planned subconciously or anything I just don't understand why I would feel that when I don't want to smoke? So I brought myself a nice new rug. In case I'm tempted, I spunked my money on something beautiful, but I don't think I am. I'm a bit confused. Vigilant and aware, but confused.

Go do some work ya bum!! (so pleased I'm not an american taxpayer, working hard are we, pfft)

Not far off :huh: . It's just greedy and too big, I mean for Europe that's about 30 odd countries!! Hats and Boots!! Serious, and maybe dallas depending on your age but we secretly love that you can just wear a hat and boots for day to day life and no one bats an eyelid! Damn you school geography that taught soil erosion and the like...but if you ever need info on marram grass to hold up a sand dune I'm big in the game... not countries or states :unsure:

I would hand it in. I'd want to be the one who kept it but no way could I live with myself... more's the pity!!

nope.

Oh, this is in SOS,I thought it was general. Your quit is solid Laura, trust yourself and nope! There isn't an easy way out and you're too strong to be bothered long term by this. Get busy! Now! What could you do, jump on the spot, bust some moves, scream like a crazy lady!! Smoking is a ridiculous option and you are worth so much more then that offers your life!!

Now's not the time to celebrate how much money I just saved waiting till today to buy then... *backs away whistling* (Shhhh round one shopping complete, round two this evening hee hee, saved £30 off pressies I was going to buy already, hee hee)

Aha my friend, the old "holiday trigger"!! Combined with your anger stage of the quit (against yourself now). Let me explain. Early doors, you were angry at the companies (tobacco, nrt, makers of champix, whoever) and other people were getting on your nerves. All normal. Now you're mad that you haven't just "got over it already" because you have been so good and solid about this quit. All things pass sweetheart, good and bad, always!! If it helps I did the holiday one myself, my mum bought cigs at the airport...apparently killing yourself physically and finacially is a sound holiday plan?!?! That's the reality. It's a big trigger cause you haven't faced this one before. I want to be honest I was plodding around busch gardens in florida, amazing place, going "nope, nope, nope" over and over. I didn't know whether to hi five the smokers in the face as I passed them or just grab their cig and run lol. It's ok, just know it for what it is. This is not a craving, this needs acknowledging that yes, you would have smoked here, but you don't smoke anymore, nope! Just keep doing it. It will stick if you go into repeat mode I promise!!! xx