Still winning

Some of our failures lead us to an understanding of life, quitting is no different. The fact you jumped back on says you want this and there will be no judging here. But, do examine your reasons, otherwise it's not a learning curve. Also, promise yourself to SOS and receive 3 responses before throwing yourself over the edge again. I say that not to be harsh, but there will often be a moment, I had a big drunken SOS around 6-7 weeks and that facility saved my quit. By making the commitment to do that, you give yourself every opportunity to get free of nicotine dependance and start living a healthier and fuller life. Massive gentle hugs and strength being sent. New day, new start. Love to you.

4

Aww sweetie, and breath!! Sometimes it's just a bad day, they happen for non smokers too though, good to remember. For you that sounds like a definate bad day, do something nice for yourself as a treat!! Crying babies and yelling hubbies equal new shoes thoughts for sure :) Honestly, great you recorded it. It will show you in weeks/months how far you have come. Smoking never fixes any of those problems, and on top you just feel rubbish for giving in. Deep breath, chin up, shoulders back - keep marching! Posting this shows how great you are doing!! Sending love and strength. xx

Late to the party but nodding. Perfectly normal to still have thoughts, really normal for the addiction to try and claim you back by giving you excuses, there are no excuses my lovely. If it helps, I flipped it in the end deciding with each moment I faced down was one les I'd have to do again. So for every crave/trigger I faced that felt hard, I accepted the thought and said to myself no way, I don't smoke, nope. Soon I didn't have to think about it, the reaction happened itself. At 3 months I was still thinking about smoking every day! Not actually wanting to, but the thoughts were there. It wasn't till 4 months that I went a surprising day without. I was ok with that, most days it was more of a memory I would have smoked in a scenario rather then the pull of week 1. So what you are thinking sounds perfectly ok to me, no failure in not smoking!! You are being really tough on yourself, I think you should get a treat, treats help us feel better :) I think you are doing fabulous MG, you have come so far!! I have no doubts we can all march forward and soon these thoughts will be gone :) x

9

Markus Quote: And so you too will become exactly what you seek if you so choose it. You will lose yourself as you are, and become who you were meant to be, a free person. But, it comes at a price, and we have all had to pay it. You have to leave yourself behind to find yourself anew. Thank you for the mention of change. Sometimes I doubted it, with all the talk of the same person. For me, no, I am not the same. Possibly, it's the jet lag, or the OCD of machinery breaking, it's certainly making me feel jaded to life the no washing machine or dishwasher (how unfair for both to screw up together). The strange thing though, it makes me think how did I quit smoking...I chose a new way to be!! I read what folks were posting and thought, I want that, I can be that, and didn't light another cigarette that I was able to smoke!! I did light one but decided no, this was my quit day and put it out :) How mad is that!! I keep a lighter to light my candle but not a cigarette. That sh*t harms you and I don't want to die like I've seen around me! Lung cancer hurts, you grind your teeth and they disintergrate! Wow, that looks bad. COPD and heart failure, I live with these and it hurts my soul. I will fight!! I won't show my girls this!! I am pleased to have others who will fight with me so thank you. If you ever wonder is it worth it, this battle...then yes it is. I grew up watching people suffer and I draw the line here with you guys. I only wish we could influence more people. x

sticks doin ok in this game.... pfft... Ladies .... 6

How much fun would this be to receive!! http://www.prezzybox.com/bubble-wrap-costume.aspx One for DD :) http://www.prezzybox.com/zombie-survival-manual.aspx My gift for Bakon! http://www.notonthehighstreet.com/eatmycake/product/full-english-biscuits Loving the hunt for gifts at the moment Does anyone else make gifts? I give massage oils, bath salts, vanilla fudge, chocolate marzipan etc.

DD Baileys was a great plan... unlike the year before's "santa bomb"...that was a bad plan Poor Santa found the saucepan of veg in the oven the following morning :)

30 minute walk due to literally hurting my bag lifting a shopping bag?! Will be back in the game in no time I hope.

6 saturdays till christmas....Sooooo excited (yes, holidays are done, christmas is my next thing, sorry folks!) NOPE, need the money for glorious amounts of food :D Then need January for dieting :wacko:

Oh I love love love christmas!! My poor Chris lost his stepdad on the 21st Dec 3 years ago so I try and include him now to have some good memories. Traditions are extensive :) Christmas Eve is my favourite part of christmas :) I take the girls to the panto at the local theatre then we get ready. The youngest was alrady asleep so this is Milly doing the duties :) Baileys, mince pie for santa and carrots for the reindeer.... then when they go to sleep..... the drunken Chris, sprinkles the "reindeer dust" cause they make an all fired mess those guys :) Then drunk as a skunk, I start prepping the dinner... ready to re sort the following morning with bucks fizz! The ex picks the kids up at 4ish and then I sit and chill with the man and whinge that christmas tv is pants! x

That bird sounds headjob...I'd never do that...oh wait a minute... :) I am good, the vigilant comment will always be with me now. I know there are more triggers to face and I'm actually ok with that. As long as I see facing them down as a positive thing, (as in once done, I never have to do that trigger again) then I feel good about it. That's how I think. This supported quit, is so different to that 14 year old disaster. Life continues to fling it's grief and I continue to not match that and smoking, it's a good feeling and one I never thought I'd see on weeks 1-6 ish! Aww I love this, thank you, what a privilege to be able to help someone. Thank you and I know you will feel the same!! Thank you for all your thoughts. I normally just blog but this time I was in a sharing mood :) I think that sometimes it all feels like a bit of a slog. For sure I have those moments, fleeting but there. I think aswell as saying some is hard we should be saying some is really great!! I am still not an advocate for the easy peasy quit, although I fully respect that and the Allen Carr crew :) Just some quits are hard fought for and they still turn out fantastical. It matters sometimes I think that people know I and others, relapsed at an up and down rate that was epic, and still can stand and go, smoked for just short of 30 years and in 8 short months, feeling fine with an odd day where I think oh I would of smoked here, but I don't smoke, that's a weird thought, and move on!! I am laughing at the Bakon comments, he's all hot air and a genuine lovely chap. Mrs Bakon and I for sure would be mates in another place and time. I don't think I sound like Mary Poppins though, I don't think Mary uses "proper" or "init" as actual words...probably, neither should I haha.

Fabulous, 3rd month in a row for double celebration haha! I'm pretty freakin cool ;) Love all the support though, jokes aside, I wouldn't be here alone. Thanks friends and buddy. x

I know, the cheese is shocking!! I adore it too and have mostly had to say goodbye. I think we're fighting the same sort of battle, I was 133 and now 151. Holiday didn't help :) I use my fitness pal, is fitbit kinda like a mobile version of that? You drink one coffee and water all day?? Now THAT is some hardcore commitment!! Sure we will all be back in our bestest clothes in no time. x

Nope, You think you have issues, I called poor Jess Jesus and told her I had problems with chanting too (not chantix). Technology is pretty hard work :( Sympathies. x

Pleased I'm not the only looney walking around muttering about how a poxy pear is 96 calories!! It's tough. I am back where I started....6 months ago... it's a bit annoying! Do you have ritz crackers, they are a good low cal snack! Like crisps, but not :( But still better then a grape :)

8 months seems utterly amazing to me!! This last month has taught me quite a bit about my quit. I went on the holiday of a lifetime. One of the main factors of me quitting was affording to go to Florida and Disneyworld with my two kids. I think with the holiday being paid for and actually being on holiday it set up some triggers. I was able to use all I had learnt with you guys here to nope through it, in honesty, once recognised it wasn't difficult. Sadly my Mum didn't do the same. Having already smoked a couple of times prior to the holiday, she purchased cigs at the airport (unknown to me at the time) and smoked here and there through the holiday. Once busted the usual aggressive behavior, both of her and of all smokers commenced. She spent the whole holiday creating stressful scenarios so she had an excuse to smoke I believe (I'm sure she thinks differently). Be eternally vigilant, there is no need to go backwards!!! Whilst that's sad, I said from the word go on this quit that my quit stood alone from everyone else around me. If anything it re-inforced my decision cause oh my goodness, the mood swings from the withdrawal were fairly epic to watch. I had forgotten what's it like when you get to that desperate to have a cig time but aren't able to. I also realized last month how many quit symptoms I had and had forgotten about. Isn't the human brain a wonderful tool! It almost feels like I never smoked at all to me. I was genuinely surprised to get triggers as most days, my only smoking thoughts are about celebrations here and the like. Last month I needed talking down from a couple of days romancing. This month on holiday for fleeting seconds I got some smokers envy but I mean seconds before my rational brain took back over and it was easy to nope from. And I met Bakons :) Was great to meet up and chat like we'd all been mates forever! So despite concerns I had that once my main reason was over(the hols) that my quit might feel harder, it doesn't. I love that I had so much saved that I came home to a healthy bank account and additional savings ready for christmas purchases :) I also had the money to pay for all my healing courses and now the insurance so I can be fully registered and start offering reiki healing for a fee. Work commences on now getting my tarot reading registered and actually, I still have some work to do for that so maybe a few months. But all is looking on target for a spiritual business to look forward to. Something that may sound odd to some, but was always a part of me and part of me yearned to do it without ever believing I really could. The quit and my self belief have spurred me on in many unforseen ways :) So today I am 8 months free of nicotine but feeling more positive and focused. More regulated and solid in my quit. Ready to go back to my new love of excersicing now I'm back home, maybe join a gym with my spare money? Gonna get christmas paid for and some new furniture first though. So lovely to breath nicely and not be permanantly poor and watching the pennies!!

8 months seems utterly amazing to me!! This last month has taught me quite a bit about my quit. I went on the holiday of a lifetime. One of the main factors of me quitting was affording to go to Florida and Disneyworld with my two kids. I think with the holiday being paid for and actually being on holiday it set up some triggers. I was able to use all I had learnt with you guys here to nope through it, in honesty, once recognised it wasn't difficult. Sadly my Mum didn't do the same. Having already smoked a couple of times prior to the holiday, she purchased cigs at the airport (unknown to me at the time) and smoked here and there through the holiday. Once busted the usual aggressive behavior, both of her and of all smokers commenced. She spent the whole holiday creating stressful scenarios so she had an excuse to smoke I believe (I'm sure she thinks differently). Be eternally vigilant, there is no need to go backwards!!! Whilst that's sad, I said from the word go on this quit that my quit stood alone from everyone else around me. If anything it re-inforced my decision cause oh my goodness, the mood swings from the withdrawal were fairly epic to watch. I had forgotten what's it like when you get to that desperate to have a cig time but aren't able to. I also realized last month how many quit symptoms I had and had forgotten about. Isn't the human brain a wonderful tool! It almost feels like I never smoked at all to me. I was genuinely surprised to get triggers as most days, my only smoking thoughts are about celebrations here and the like. Last month I needed talking down from a couple of days romancing. This month on holiday for fleeting seconds I got some smokers envy but I mean seconds before my rational brain took back over and it was easy to nope from. And I met Bakons :) Was great to meet up and chat like we'd all been mates forever! So despite concerns I had that once my main reason was over(the hols) that my quit might feel harder, it doesn't. I love that I had so much saved that I came home to a healthy bank account and additional savings ready for christmas purchases :) I also had the money to pay for all my healing courses and now the insurance so I can be fully registered and start offering reiki healing for a fee. Work commences on now getting my tarot reading registered and actually, I still have some work to do for that so maybe a few months. But all is looking on target for a spiritual business to look forward to. Something that may sound odd to some, but was always a part of me and part of me yearned to do it without ever believing I really could. The quit and my self belief have spurred me on in many unforseen ways :) So today I am 8 months free of nicotine but feeling more positive and focused. More regulated and solid in my quit. Ready to go back to my new love of excersicing now I'm back home, maybe join a gym with my spare money? Gonna get christmas paid for and some new furniture first though. So lovely to breath nicely and not be permanantly poor and watching the pennies!!

Sorry I'm late Dors, but just wanted to add how fabulous you and your quit are. Inspirational to follow you :) Massive congrats. xx

Massive congrats on your 1 year Yogi. Hope you are celebrating :) xx

Hey lovely lady, big congrats on your first quarter!! Doing amazingly well, so very proud of you. xx

Massive congrats Jess, sorry for the kindle calling you Jesus, lol. Please you got that 1 month nailed, it's a huge victory. Doing fab!! xx

I'm sorry about your uncle ((Joe)) Your pics look fab and I don't blame you taking the refund and doing something different. x

I have had some craves, holiday triggers. I chose nope, sadly my mum chose a now second deck of cigs. My informed choice was not difficult. A crave is simply an auto pilot response and you always have the choice to say yes or no.