Still winning

Absolutely, protect the quit while it is in this stage. Massive congrats on day 3 down, big news! That should be all the nicotine out of your body now already :)

How's the wrist splint going colleen?

Throw out the buoy, I need dragging in lol. 2 more sleeps ....

I don't much like my Mum. I feel bad saying that but I don't. She mistreated me in the form of emotional manipulation and bullying, for years, but worse the last year and I am done with her. Toxic as it is, she lives with me waiting to be housed by the coucil/authorities and I am her primary carer as she is disabled. It's one of those situations you look on and shake your head for the poor unfortunates involved. Move backwards 15 years. I was quit. It had been 364 days when my then fiance announced we weren't happy were we? I said no, that lazy bugger never lifted a finger round the house, we had only moved in together in the dec, now it was the march 6 months off our wedding...things needed changing for sure! He called everything off! I had meant he should hoover or something.... I smoked, a lot...intending to quit the next day, after the weekend, the next week...roll on 14 years.... Yesterday, 3 sleeps till a year...a frikkin year, beating the previous marti record of 364...not even a tremor of wanting to smoke. Oh yeah, some dumb thoughts, but I think dumb stuff all the time and I don't follow all of it through! (some, shhhhh) I literally can't descrbe the terror at seeing your yes disabled but very pushy, mouthy mother completely lose her faculties. No body functions, no ability to talk or answer, shuddering and shaking...having been seen not 3 hours before she goes to sleep bad and wakes up terrifying! I'm trying to keep the kids in the lounge, speak to the docs on the sly, then call an ambulance and deal with their questions and keep my babies seperate but of course they see some and I can't hide all my emotions...I have another spiritual daughter who can read emotions much like me. So we're all scared from my mum to me to milly...bella at 5 wonders why she can't say goodnight to nan. For the first time ever my mum goes in an ambulance to hospital alone. I can't go with her but that makes me feel relieved, I'm so ashamed, I didn't want to go, I really don't want her to be ill but I desperately want some space from her. My sisters are abroad or busy, it's now 363 days quit, I keep getting stuck pretending to be ok in hospital to support a woman I have zero respect for and want free from .... Screw this, I'm going to have a wine or 2 but I almost knew there would be something! I don't know how but I anticipated this test and kept re-assuring myself it was based on previous experience. This sucks donkey balls, but I know that I haven't felt this for months and it's just a trigger.... and I love boats! But what a crappy week for this.

Absolutely. I don't think they even realize it makes them feel like they shouldn't do it...but if they drag you back into their gang it justifies their addiction and reinforces the junkie thinking of it's impossible to give up.... Keep saying no thanks, I love being smoke free!! A) it freaks em out and B) you may just start them thinking like only a quit friend can. xx

Gabby, you rock chicky :) Much love to you. 3/4 of a year is frikkin amazing!! xx

You are doing so great. I think a number of us will understand how utterly relieved you are that you held on - great job!!! Make sure you have some treats for yourself lined up...even if they are small... it's good to see something tangible for your efforts :) x

Welcome here too. xx

Thank you guys. It's nice to still have the excitement of the big day to come :)

Hi Tiffany, Happy to support. The way out is through. It helped to think if I stay firm, this is the last time I will ever feel like this on this day of the quit...I will never have to repeat it so let's "get it done". x

I think what's you've said is very profound and may help manyothers. There is indeed a gap left, both time wise and mentally from smoking and I agree wholeheartedly, something must fill it or we miss the "commitment" to something, it's odd. I want to say though Chrys, I did fill the gap at around 8 months and I do feel free but I watched some 9 and 12 monthers still having the odd battle and that's ok. I will never forget I was a smoker and that I sometimes need to choose to be a non smoker again...that's addiction and I have come to accept that, not like it...but it's only thoughts and I recognise all the emotions and reactions as the addiction thoughts and so maybe mine is easier now because I did have other creative outlets. Be kind to yourself my friend and it will come. There is no time limit on this and nor should you put one on yourself. The fact you know you won't smoke is great and I acknowledge you've had that the whole way through...so don't pressure yourself that you should feel XYZ by now...it comes in it's own time. x

nope

Glad you found us too. This site can quite literally be a lifeline. The one resounding thing about walking through the withdrawals and then getting over the triggers is someone else has been there and done that. And come out the other side happy about it. It's very re-assuring. I think getting involved and posting rather than suffering or worrying is a great thing. Look forward to the journey with you. x

day 2 done. Lower abs are clearly knackered as leg raises are really tough!

Maybe a maths tutor pre cocktails ;) 3 days...this week!! Unreal :)

Hope work is gentle with you today. Actually the distraction of work will probably be a good thing. Make sure you take sips of fruit juice (if you're cold turkey that is) as your blood sugar levels muck about for a few days and it can make you super tired or a bit grouchy. Let us know how you're dealing when you can. Oh and sips of cold water help too!! You're doing great!! x

nope

Don't sit with the thoughts of romancing a smoke...try and distract yourself or do something physical to kill the trigger. The longer you give it head space the more it grows. You have to simply trust it will get better. You can see glimpses but you have to take peoples word for it. Celebrate your milestones and treat yourself...this makes us feel like we are gaining rather than giving up and is crucial.

Good on you, being positive. So many positives to being a non smoker, none I could see to be a smoker. Isn't it re assuring to have some calmer days!! Do be aware the odd trigger will come up, it takes you more by surprise I think as you're not dealing with them all day every day like you were so stay vigilant. Have a plan for that and then enjoy the calmer bits for a while, you deserve it. x

Hey Karl, Welcome and good choice!! Guessing you're at the end of day 1 now. It's bedtime in england so check in when you can. x

yep, 4 sleeps...

Aw love Nancy to pieces. So delighted to celebrate your milestone with you :) Much love and congrats. xx

nope

Sorry, it was sunny and I went to the beach to freeze my tits off in an english way :) This windowlicker has now done day 1 :) Photo tomoz as I'm ready to go out.

1sunday sleep 2 monday sleep 3 tuesday sleep 4 wednesday sleep Boom - 4 sleeps - can only work in ickle numbers haha. Need a brandy to cope with the counting...I'd have been rubbish on sesame street :)