Still winning

How did he suddenly become my problem? My own Mr Smarti may have issues with the spares? Mrs Bakon is a hottie! Mr Bakon and Mr Smarti are lucky barstewards, yes indeedy :)

Hey Bonnie, I am so sorry for what you and your daughter are going through. Are you getting answers on her condition. I understand that fear takes you captive when it's your children and their wellbeing. You know of course that this is simply thought association but lets break it down for a moment. Previously as a smoker and when you were stressed (the stress being activated would literally suck the nicotine from your entire bloodstream leaving you desperate for a fix) you would smoke (the nicotine levels went back up), actually you would often chain smoke (because ALL the nicotine had gone and you needed more than one cig to replace it). It won't relax you now hun because you are not in need of replacing nicotine. Yes, it would give you something to do - but that would remove you from your child, create additional stresses as you fought or embraced cravings and tbh Bonnie, set a shitty example to your daughter. I say the last bit as a very guilty mum so please take that in the spirit it's meant. Sending love and strength for a workable solution and calmer times for you and your beautiful girl. Much love. xx

Don't we all start to think the same thing of how great it would be to have done this sooner. I'm pretty excited for you for when those edges start to iron out! You are doing amazingly well :) x

nope. x

Music, I had quit songs. A mantra. Something quick but personal. Along with the NOPE from here I used "for Milly and I" which just reminded me that it wasn't just me I was quitting for. Dancing like a loon, just jumping about ( I feel like exercise should have been here but I was lazy at that point lol). Deep breaths. I also did a lot of self healing and practiced being kind to myself which is pretty much the same. Scented stuff and lots of it, long showers, long walks, days out etc. Quoted poetry to distract myself, Invictus is my favourite. Sex, not in a smutty way but in a I didn't associate it with smoking so it was a good distraction. It is not romantic to say I need distracting, apparently it's one of those things you can think but not say out loud.

Maybe do a part and part? Only because I really think "seeing" a result of the quit (ie, I bought a charm, a rug, someone bought a phone etc) can bring something powerful and quick to dismiss a trigger/thought. I honestly have looked at my pandora charm which I wear all the time and thought nah, don't wanna lose the money for nice things again and then trolled along with my day. It killed a moment stone dead and the rug has done the same, it was a day I was really struggling and so I went and bought myself a treat. There's something in the treat yourself thing I think. x

Morning Laura, First day of a new life! Well actually you already have a head start at a new life after drowning the cigs last night. This is going to be an amazing new life for you. Believe in it and go forward with it. x

You know what I did when I was really upset and didn't want to smoke. I cried Laura. I cried because I realized smoking wouldn't fix a damn thing but I still wanted to smoke and for the love of all that was good I really wanted something, anything to help me.... Therein lies the clue my friend. Smoking was never that thing. It didn't solve my problem that night and nor will it resove things between your son and hopefully daughter in law or not, depending on what fate has in mind. All that actually happened was my addicted part of my brain started to cling onto reasons to stop being the non smoker that I had chosen to be. I had to enter into a battle of wills, with myself (pretty odd) a ton of times but every win made the next battle less difficult. Bloody fight for it woman! So we don't get the easy peasy quit, and what? It's not our path to have it but a hard fought for quit can bring a ton of benefits that you're not even considering for now. Have you read my blog from today actually, written this morning. Life is so much better on this side of the quit. All you need to do is decide and hang on. Please don't think for one minute I'm judging. Jeez I was quitting for 14 odd years! Mostly hiding from quitting in that time if I'm honest. And I hear how many times you've done this and think blooming heck, you're actually stronger than me, I don't know if I could have kept trying that regularly!! That's the honest truth, my run away was firmly ingrained so I believe in you more than me almost! The quit isn't lost, it merely lost direction and YOU put yourself back in the saddle and became accountable. The trick here my love is to learn the lessons so that next time you fight and not throw yourself over the edge. That abyss will kill ya chick!! No excuses, no recriminations, no next week I'm off...let's "get 'er done" now Laura so you can move on with your life the way you want to. All those patients you can help more if you have a clearer head not dying for a fix! You're all good. Onwards and upwards! x

Ok, well that sounds like a shitty convo that smoking did nothing for. The rest are drowned, non smoking Laura recommence. Now, did you at least take away from this that smoking did nothing to affect the cause or the outcome of the argument?? Because I feel like you could gain some valuable insight in a way. Sorry about that convo though, sounds tough. x

Hey Laura, got your plans in place for this evening? Anymore treats planned? How are you today? x

I love to write, it is one of my passions and sometimes, it get's the mental neurons firing and course correcting. That's why there is power on these boards because as we help someone else up, or write down a ton of confusing feelings, or acknowledge that today is hard but yesterday was good, we start to straighten out our thought processes. Because some of you know but others don't, my life was somewhat complicated 14/15 months ago when I quit smoking. I had many pressures and few answers and the folk here helped me to quit but also to analyse what was working and what was not. I will be eternally greatful that in hindsight, there were no judgements....of quit techniques which were fairly sketchy or of personality types. This site and the people on it, accepted me for what I was and it meant I kept my quit, for them, when I didn't feel strong enough that moment. A lot is spoken of people who are slightly different and it feels like the world salutes that, apart from if your different is spiritual. Then the world gurns at you and stands back to make sure you are safe! Well I got none of that here and this sensation of being free...combined with safe brought me out of myself. I quit, of course, but I also grew. I will stop here to thank you for the inner strength I gained through calling you my friends. If you knew how safe I had played my past you would know who I have become is in no small part a revelation. This is not exclusive to me however. You guys and I will support everyone who comes through. Some support is gentle, some is really real, a couple are bordering on crazy but the heart of here is amazing. We all have the same end goal, grow and quit. I move forward in a new way of being and with new values. And I attribute no small part of that to my quit and having to grow into who I was supposed to be as I often feel we hide behind smoking. But also seeing people here every day, grow into who they were meant to be. It has given me strength to take this journey in tandem with others. I don't think we just quit smoking, I think we embrace a new way to be, or in actuality, who we were always supposed to be. I think there is strength in the quit from hour 1 to whatever number will be. So in case you wondered. My life is AMAZING and I attribute that to the support I got here as much as quitting smoking. This may make no sense to you but I felt like I should write somewhere that I am finally happy. I wake in the morning and smile. I go to sleep and smile. I sat saying to my Chris the other day, I feel as if I am free to be myself and I am honestly so happy I might burst. So for anyone who wondered how my story ended...it has just begun :) Ok I was always going to go deeper then the average bod would - but quitting can be a transformational life tool. Much love QT'ers. xx

nope.

Day 2 is awesome, well done!! Make sure you are taking your sips of fruit juice if you want to keep the tired grumpy feeling of moving blood sugars under control. It can actually feel similar to a crave so getting rid of some of those is a good thing :) Do audit's usually take so long? It seems to be ages!

NOPE can save your life, quite literally! Enjoy your treats and you pizza. Good on ya for joining a gym, brilliant motivator :) Almost done sweets, tomora is another day! x

Massive congrats!! You inspired me early doors and still do today. Thank you for leading the way for so many of us. xx

Hey Erin, how's today? x

Yes you will get through Laura. No more excuses, no more reasons. You will get through because you want to be a non smoker...and the way to that is through these thoughts. You will get busy and sometimes you will distract and at other times you will stare those triggers down so they carry less weight next time. We will do it with you, so leave next week alone and do today! How was last night? Did you finish the loft? How is today? Focus on what you can do something about. xx

nope

Nope - hahaha

I think you and Chris are soul mates lol, he whinges about flip flops and their wrongness too! However it's me who's here

-8

easter egg :)

Nutshell version. Bakon is vicariously living through the fact he was honoured enough to meet me last November. I don't think he washes the cheek I kissed!! His wife and I got drunk as ya like, both got carted home lol. It was actually a really great night. Anyway, once a year he goes on facebook to promote this motorbike trip he goes on...as luck would have it, he's taken it upon himself to add me as a friend after his wife and I became friends months ago and is now bitchin I post too much :) He's also gone hunting for all the quit train people who've added me so he can see real photo's of them. I believe there is some vague threat about copying pictures to put on here...

Very valid points by Pippa, I played the games at home when there was smoking here - it kept me in touch with the boards and helped me to distract myself. I think I played chicks and sticks solid for about two months as it was the only game I understood lol. Half the time it's boredom that prompts a thought, so filling the boredom kinda helps. xx

Good news. Did you write up your own response to an SOS yet? You need to do that when you can :) x