Still winning

nope.

nope.

Hired a beach buggy on holiday, straight up...nuff duct tape holding that shizzle together! Chris announces this is perfectly acceptable practise for fixing cars (and yes I meant practise with an "s" because practice with a c is different - I do accept nuff and shizzle are made up in England so it can highlight them, sorry, grammar rant). Flip flops because they are cheaper then sandals.

Cold turkey 6 Chantix 1

Money for another family day out. x

-Education, without a doubt. Even when I was triggered the knowledge made me remember I didn't want to smoke anymore. -Nope shuffle - quick and effective. Looked like a nutter but whatever works right :) -A mantra - For Milly and I (Milly is my eldest daughter who had asked me to quit, yes I did it for me but when I would have struggled to hold on for me, I could always hold on for her. I had failed too many quits and had promised to make myself accountable in the end, glad it worked!) -Crystals, I had a palm stone and necklace of dalmation jasper, I wore the necklace and carried the palm stone everywhere with me and if I needed help, I touched them for support. -Quit date, I set my quit date with my champix and a support forum in line with a full moon - because it signifies endings to me and I wanted out so badly. Might sound odd to some but I believed in it and what you believe carries strength :) -SOS - I did swear I would use it and when crunch time came, use it I did! -Smoking buddy, pick another crazy ex smoker to offer mutual support. -Smoking is not on the table - I could do literally anything else, which was quite a lot. -Non smokers suffer stress and don't need to smoke - that was quite a revelation, and yet so obvious. -New habits release old habits - triggered in the car, set up a new habit of a cough sweet every time I got in, smoking trigger gone pretty quickly. -Endorphins - understanding smoking released them but in a unhealthy way, so did exercise which was much healthier as a choice. Understanding was crucial. -Hearing others say it would pass and that it was a phase - such a relief! (and so so true! it ended up being a quit on blind faith and trust at times) -Emotional release. I thank the gods that people here told me crying was ok. I cried/ran/walked by water or in the woods/meditated...all just to get out of the funk I could put myself in. -Blog, writing it down, often just to get it out of my head and release it but also to track my journey and provide more accountability. I used loads of techniques. I think I tried everything that everyone suggested. That nope shuffle tho, it saved my early quit a billion times so sending a thanks into the ether to Bassman. x

Wow, I feel a bit sick at my number! 15, 644 added to the total Equals 30,388 cancer sticks not smoked.....

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Shush up now moped boy ;) Tew, onto my point. I been thinking about your post and I want to thank you. I think you identified my turning point in my quit and I'm hoping this explanation may help you back. What if...this was the turning point to the you that you were always supposed to be? Question what parts of your personality you do and don't like. Feel free to make amendments and new choices in how you act and react. Smoking was never that answer, it's just a hiding hole we gave ourselves but jeez chick, such a bad plan!! You worry about keeping yourself in check and my devils advocate says, did they deserve that emotional check that you had to do - or should they just have managed themselves better?? You aren't in charge of other peoples choices and battles, only your own. So - will you ever be calm...well yes actually. I am seriously more chilled then I have ever been, even my really sad is no where near how I was when I was constantly needing and looking to top myself up with drugs. That's not a quit smoking site analysis, it's actually real life. You deserve more than this conversation that you are having with yourself, and you are having it because your addict is screaming, which is because you are close to breaking through. Who cares about timings, but do care about freedom...it really does end up coming to that simple thought. Give the time some time and quit doubting yourself. You quit smoking, you can achieve anything you set your mind too! (and you will calm down too, honest) xx

14 years thinking here. I'm with Stu, I have every faith...even if you wanna smoke chicky, you know too much real shizzle now. Pack your spotted hanky up, it's time to come home. x

Give 'im a perfectly good language and look what he does with it! Mental, innit!

Honey, why have you decided in 9 months you should be at xyz? I feel like you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself lately. If people get on your nerves, tell em! Oi tosh, knock it off. Yes you drugged yourself before and that was not a good plan, now you are noticing all kinds of divs and not responding softly softly, good! Sounds like you may be a bit tetchy and over the top but jeez, it's not for nothing is it. I hope Beacon comes through, she was mad for ages bless her and wondered if she'd ever get over it. I was glad she posted, cause I wondered if I would ever not be mad too a few months later, now you. It really is a phase but while it's here - maybe a few people around you need a good old shake up :) PS I ditched half my family at that stage - nb, they are still gone and the cull was a blessing in disguise even if it was prompted by bat shizzle moments, which passed. This too shall pass TEW, hold fire chick. x

That I am planning lots of trips with the kids this summer and don't have to find the smoking area and stop our fun anymore!

Massive congrats for 1 month. xx

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It's human, you're allowed that. We've all seen someone we thought was solid and panicked when they fell (sorry Jess, it's temp and I know you're back up) but that's no real reason to panic. it's the old adage isn't it...if your friend jumped off a cliff would you? I get the shake though, and with smoking so close it does make it harder... but not impossible and I am living proof of that!! So yes, ball your eyes out, I fully support that plan but as for smoking, don't you dare Mrs, we don't do that anymore because we quit!! NOPE. xx

Five fabulous months, amazing job Karl! Massive congrats :) xx

Your tonight sounds better!! Tonight is all but over here :) Tomoz, reiki masters course finally Sunday, get my babies home after two weeks with their Dad I am excited about this weekend!! Hope yours is lovely too. xx

Awww, Doreen, I can't believe it's been two years, massive congrats to you and both feet. Thank you so much for all you do here and for how much you inspired me with your gentle support. You mean the world to me, I think you're a hero. xx

Oh and I don't think it's a 3 month wobble! Not like the first 3 months or even close, it's just a few more thoughts than we're used to having and if we let them become something, they gain strength. Classic romancing the cig time but please don't talk yourself into 3 months of hell because you control these thoughts TEW, not the other way round. So take owndership, tell yourself you've come too far and the only way is forward as many times as you need to, and keep talking! Don't throw yourself off a great quit because you might find a bit of life harder...life does that, up's and down's. xx

Yeah, that period of time does seem to see a mini revival for some. I think my crazy thoughts were a little earlier but I bought a rug, something more expensive then I would usually buy but very visual, so I could literally SEE how I could have nice things if I didn't spend the money on cigs. So that's my advice, buy something visual you love to remind yourself, yes I know it's not just about money but it did something to reset me. Also there's something stuck in our heads about our "best ever quit time" I think. It's not a wobble as such but I wonder if something subconcious says, we did it before we could do it again. So that's the empathy part of it. Here's the real talk. You're free of nicotine now. What can get out of your body is gone. But you are still healing from it, you will forever be healing because our bodies are simply amazing and busy trying to fix all the damage we did. Let's be real, as humans we have a lot of dumb thoughts but we don't have to act on them. Try reading some bits again. Take a newbie under your wing so you can really remember what it was like in those early days I(I did this and it was a mutual win) and or just dig in. It is so frustrating and I know you don't plan to smoke but take some steps to help yourself feel better and back in control. Also simply telling myself smoking is not an option no matter what I faced helped and may help you. Once it's off the table you kinda have to find new ways :) x

Ah blinkin hell (this is not what I mean) Jess, I am so sorry. Massive sympathy your way, been there, done that. Thing is, I'm saying sorry for you because I know it re creates all the old fears, it's the same game with new dates now. Hope the back again bit means you have a new quit. Can we talk about it, here or PM if you'd rather? Jacking a quit takes planning and it will help you to fight craves if you plug the loophole. Thing is my lovely, if you throw yourself off, you know too much now and it won't be the same anyway. But a fall can make you stronger if you let it, just focus and let's get er done hey! Much love Jess. x

Brilliant work, 3/4 of a year :) Good on you! You have done amazingly well and we'll be celebrating your entrance to the lido deck before you know it. Massive congrats. xx

Good to know that I can buy pre made up herb mix, and pepper is a great shout actually! I already cook with high grade olive oil (or cocunut oil) as I also use them to mix with other oils for sale so that's ok. Do we think cooking in oil would hyper extend the calorie content though?

Last year we spent £500 on a garden irrigation system, and I was so impressed I would watch it water the plants which kinda defied the prupose of getting it somewhat. Kept quiet as thought it was just me haha. Then I got a massive water bill for my efforts too, yikes, sitting doing nowt for this year :) x