Still winning

That's a big part of it isn't it Babs, you are effectively arguing with yourself?! I don't think I will ever be ok with that but it's true for most people I think. x

Wow, please I only punched pillows, cheaper ;) I read the book once years ago, did nothing for me but I was internally contradicting him anyway in truth. Read it after this quit and some of it helped a lot. Would agree and recommend the book to anyone.

Hey Tracey, I just want to say blo*dy good show old chapess!! I know life hasn't been all "the hills are alive" for you and I've watched and read about you facing down triggers, owning your quit and just being the wonderful you. Real inspiring stuff so thank you and congratulations for what you've achieved.

PS Action, virtual hi five dude - I am so pleased you got through all that tripe without disturbing smoke thoughts. Way to go!!

Lol patience is not my bag :) But ok, just keep swimming ey, will do. I guess I have the knowledge that I'm done to "keep me warm" because I know I am an addict type smoker who chooses not to smoke anymore. That, for me, brings a high level of comfort. I will not live in fear, I know too much and worked too hard to get this place and I won't deny it. I didn't do this the easy peasy way, if only I had of read the book before quitting. I did it the oh hey I'm having a good day and oh my god I'm crying and clawing my way through days. If I'm really honest, even with thse bad days I expected it to be worse? I mean I don't even know what I was scared of, but I spent years being afraid to try and quit cause I was told it's too hard. I don't know all the in's and out's of this journey by a longshot and I'm nowhere near there, in fact I'm not entirely sure what my "there" really is. Perhaps it's what Action describes, perhaps that's my there. Perhaps it's years down the line when every possible trigger has been faced. I can't and won't speak for anyone else and their way of getting there, I can only know mine, but I know. For today, it's enough to know I don't smoke anymore and I do that by choice.

I HATE THEM TOO!! Just because sometimes it good to yell with someone else!! I'm sorry it has made you feel controlled Dors, It must feel much better to let that go now. Don't live in the past honey, it's a has been not a place to dwell in. Best "smoke free with blinding circulation" foot forwards my lovely. xx

Just blogged this and then thought it may resonate with someone else or help, or maybe someone will have a brilliant thought that helps me.. If not, then it just is how I am today. x I am at no risk of smoking still, that's good but I am bored senseless of this inane internal drivel, could smoke/don't smoke, that goes through my head every day. I don't even know how I would explain it but I still have the same thoughts of times when I would smoke. For sure they are less frequent then they were. For definate they are not the gut wrenching craves of days gone by and haven't been for a long time. Just like a fly really that keeps buzzing around you and getting right on your last nerve. I would smoke here, yeah but you don't smoke anymore, yeah but I did and I could, but I don't want to ... and so on. I am certain I do not want to smoke, absolutely sure that it holds nothing for me.... I tried to be every type of smoker, social, evenings only, weekends etc and in each dismal attempt it led me to here, to this place that says "I am very good at smoking, NOPE is my only option". I know this, I actually feel relief at this, it's honestly easier for me not to smoke anymore than to try and cut down, or wait with that buzzing of want being so very loud...this is honestly much easier. So why doesn't it seem to shut up?? That voice.. I faced it down and it's getting right on my nerves now. I could understand if there was even a small chance that I wanted to or would smoke, but there's really not. If it was an an actual fly buzzing around I'd be going Mr Miyagi on his sorry butt right about now!! Really bored, are we there yet!!

I am at no risk of smoking still, that's good but I am bored senseless of this inane internal drivel, could smoke/don't smoke, that goes through my head every day. I don't even know how I would explain it but I still have the same thoughts of times when I would smoke. For sure they are less frequent then they were. For definate they are not the gut wrenching craves of days gone by and haven't been for a long time. Just like a fly really that keeps buzzing around you and getting right on your last nerve. I would smoke here, yeah but you don't smoke anymore, yeah but I did and I could, but I don't want to ... and so on. I am certain I do not want to smoke, absolutely sure that it holds nothing for me.... I tried to be every type of smoker, social, evenings only, weekends etc and in each dismal attempt it led me to here, to this place that says "I am very good at smoking, NOPE is my only option". I know this, I actually feel relief at this, it's honestly easier for me not to smoke anymore than to try and cut down, or wait with that buzzing of want being so very loud...this is honestly much easier. So why doesn't it seem to shut up?? That voice.. I faced it down and it's getting right on my nerves now. I could understand if there was even a small chance that I wanted to or would smoke, but there's really not. If it was an an actual fly buzzing around I'd be going Mr Miyagi on his sorry butt right about now!! Really bored, are we there yet!!

My friend this is good to know as I sit here doing my daily, I could smoke, but I dont smoke, but I could have 1 and yada yada. I get it's part of each day for now and I know I will not be smoking but it's as much boring and annoying as anything else tbh - so thank you Action for this little ray of hope! And I'm so pleased all that stress is over for you and you can just wait for normal results. By the way I did some googling (medical I know, and you're not even going to die lol) and it says between 5-8 months is the key time your lungs clear the crud. So I wonder if that's what your cough is now?? Fingers crossed anyway. If nothing else you got a dentist with boobs and I know they cheer you up from you've posted previously lol. Have a good day Action. xx

MHK is still smoke free just not big into the posting, but is following the community and keeping her april fool quit safe and intact :) Congrats on 3 weeks MHK. x

Wow bug, I worked out £300 a month and that was enough of an eye opener, you are super brave to add it up!

Welcome Medic. x

Massive congrats on your 6 months smoke free Rez. So chuffed we get you to walk this journey with, great company my friend. x

good morning world, nope for me today

Yep, have you tried writing it down, sometimes you haven't identified the point and once you can it's easier to fix. xx

I'm pleased you could let that secret go, and we are super proud you quit Dors. You couldn't be all by yourself round here if you tried :) x

got a straw, pretend. Foods ok Sarah, I put on 8lbs and already lost 3lbs by just stop over-eating? Food is yourfriend ;) Almost 10pm tho chick, go sleep. x

Dance, sing, do whatever you need to Sarah, movement makes it easier to deal with craves. We have your back! Or go to bed...early nights on tough days are perfectly acceptable! xx

Aww really, you think they'd be too shy to ask? Hey if anyone newer wants me I would LOVE to be a quit buddy, I would even attempt being normal :) But I won't smoke and I do care about everyone who has joined behind me and will be checking anyway (stalker or caring - you decide haha). x

Hi Laura, wondering how you are doing? Are you ok? x

I don't even know where I am - around 6 weeks quit? Anyway my quit is secure, I am solidly behind the I don't want to smoke. So why do I still wobble emotionally?? I am gutted that two people I cared for fell off the wagon, it's so not my business!! I am gutted my mum keeps cheating, it's not my business!! When did I turn into a busybody?? It's laughable, it is the opposite of who I am. These emotions are "not me", I stay calm and in control. I look after everyone and cope...but wow, some days like yesterday I don't! I even used the C word, that's shocking, I can make a sailor blush for sure but that's my limit...but yesterday no... I really don't understand? I won't smoke but I do wonder where this re-adjustment is taking me. I feel very alone, even though I'm not and like there's a battle coming, I've felt like that for a while in myself...but then I don't know if that's to do with who I am personally or to do with the quit? All I know is this, I've been quitting for about 14 years, I make a few hours or smoked like 10 in a day and felt a win?! Then I went on a healing course (have hadthem before) and knew it would be massive before I went, I actually cleared the decks and put it down to my weird and alternative ways needing the space. All of my coping techniques were taken and then I was forced to quit smoking! I get my way isn't for most people but I believe in more, intuition or greater energy etc and I am led to what needs to be done, but this time it's me! I feel a bit out of my depth but I won't smoke so I guess that's ok? Who knows. Mad ramblings of a proper crazy bird. Meh, wish I was a normal non smoker who wasn't looking for the greater purpose all the time and could just be chuffed that they weren't bloody smoking. Yeah that's definately the blog rather than board moment lol. It's out now though so that's good and I feel better! Maybe it will make sense another day, can't have everything can you.

Evelyn, I am so happy you felt well enough to not smoke. I am also not "qualified" to comment on the therapy side of things but am defo happy that you are happy. xx

powerful book, I read it after I quit to re-inforce the thought process. We are behind you 100% Amy!! xx

Ah I see, there were two people who made sense to me early doors, I didn't make them quit buddies but Bandito and Action make me feel like that rooster cartoon sketch, - I will hug them and squeeze them and call them george lol.

I'm known for being honest so I will answer (and am not married anymore so still do the sex thing lol) My energy levels all round got higher after the first 5 days. Yes my sex drive increased, the sensations also increased. You need to ensure the man is non smoker too now though, cause my fella smoked the first week and yuk...then he quit and yey, don't smell and his energy increased... all good news.