Still winning

My experience is when I felt like a crutch would help, I used a crutch. One the patch, one chantix...both helped...but because I wanted to quit smoking. I ditched each of them within a week due to side effects but most people don't suffer the side effects. The question I think is more, do you need something to "help you" or do you want to do it "yourself". People here have quit both ways, cold turkey and patch. What's your thoughts Natalie? x

Not my style, not my way but I think I just done wallowed the last two weeks of my life away? Sad, unhappy, over thinking, questioning myself, my life, my parenting - but not my quit. I love that bit by the way, even when life feels like it utterly sucks balls for no apparent reason my quit is still in the "oh yeah, doin it" section. August was the most abhorent, scary emotional month I have seen in some time. I am utterly jaded but re grouping. I am brutalized I was too unwell to complete my healing module in the legitamate "insurance" world. FFS, I have been using my skills since before I knew what the skills were!! - and I can't practice in the real world due to insurance?! Why has my path gotta put so many road blocks in the way to make me always think I'm missing something I need to know. Meh, sucky stupid timings. So, phew. Ok, it's time to put my childish thoughts behind me. It's my birth month :) The time where I reset my year, my year by the way, i get the january the 1st thing but I think at your birthday, you should do a life review and set in motion your plans for your next year. SO .... By this time next year I want to have clients, who I can lay my (non smoking YEY) hands on and help. I need to start working on a "proper job" skill set and I still have no clue, but 7 days left. So if now, when my baby girl starts full time school (mortified). And my Mum is still utterly scared but possibly closet smoking again (div). And the world feels like it is testing me - if now - my quit is in safe hands.... then I'm going to assume that even though I have an occasional thought to smoke that I'm all good and not worry anymore. I love that I can pay it forward though, that's so fab! 11 days until 6 months quit!! Multiple quits inspired by mine!! New friends!! I don't know why I spent a month uneasy?? It's as great as it always was :) A blocked path is not a roadblock, it's an opportunity to know more. Stay focused. Quitting is a journey, not an event. Eternal vigilance. Addiction. All true, but look at the strength that surrounds this site, these people. This is a great time to be here and it feels amazing to pay it forward. I think I will be happy about it for a while. PS, I may have had a wine, thus promtping such happiness lol, but still, it's pretty cool being a small part of this place that saves people and heals them :) x

1 week is humongous!! Game on Wendy, kicked nicotine to the kerb!! Totally agree with Bakon on a name change. Nothing about you associates with smoking now and that's amazing news :) Massive congrats on your first week of freedom. xx

Wow Wendy, what a different post, I am SOOOO excited for you!! See what being quit can do, it serves as inspiration for others!! Lol at the bike riding cushioning needed!! I think attempting said bike riding is extreme bravery, virtual hi five!! Love seeing these quits progress :) x

I like that this post is entitled nerd help...and yet I looked haha, and no, no idea lol. Hopefully an actual nerd will be along shortly :)

Oh my poor lovely lady. You're having a bit of a panic, but you just need to remember who you are and how hard you fought for this. Out of your depth is no reason to give up your freedom - shush now woman, what are you thinking about?? How would you explain this, the later part where something smoking related slaps you up!! What about that that beauty of a niece I saw with you in a fun picture, this the example you want to set?? There's none for that at all, get your mind away from those thoughts. Race yourself to dismiss them, with a mental baseball bat! Ask michael to cut all the ties that bind you to those thoughts. Handily I can suggest this back to you as you did to me once, guess what - it really does help. Each and every time I do it now I feel stronger. Not my weird but somebody else's now as I kept feeling the energy was really "off", I'm not naturally insecure (lol, really not) and am focused at least, almost positive but the last month I feel like I been wading through emotional treacle. I had a 4 day wallow time too and then I read this by Sarah someone or other and thought HA! That explains it then: After the intense pressure (both positive and negative) many have experienced during August, September 2014 comes as something of a relief! It offers a break of sorts during which we can catch our breath, take some time out and settle into our ‘new normal’. There has been a recent energetic theme which can best be characterised as the ‘return of the repressed’. This Freudian term is used to denote the emergence into consciousness of repressed thoughts, feelings and memories many of which we may have believed were over and done with. Such a process often occurs at times of intense change, largely because it is our unconscious which conspires to prevent us from changing in fundamentally life-altering ways. During a time such as we have been through these past few months, the gates to the unconscious are flung open with every suppressed fear, denied emotion, ignored desire bursting out to assault our senses and do its level best to keep us from stepping out of our comfort zone. Just when we thought we’d dealt with our lack of self-worth bam! Self-hatred rears its ugly head the likes of which we’ve not encountered in a long time. Just when we thought that depression we struggled with for so long was healed, there it is again, penetrating every corner with its heavy, oppressive presence. Just when we thought we’d really got to grips with ‘this whole compassion thing’, we can’t bear to be in the same room as anyone else for fear of ripping their head off! We can end up feeling like nothing has changed and we’re simply the same person we were a year, two years, ten or twenty years ago!! Loves my beautiful friend, pm if you want to wallow/whinge/vent. x

PS, I forgot to say. In max one week, I couldn't see any future in me ever smoking again. Even on tough days I still made a choice not to smoke. Don't worry that you can't picture it, that's only because you haven't done it in so long. It will honestly just happen if you don't smoke. xx

I just meant that cold turkey is advocated by most - I didn't do it, I was scared senseless and needed a crutch :) The physical addiction is simply staying on course and not smoking. Easy to do actually, much easier then I ever let myself believe it would be. Chrispy mentioned the two I was told and used as well. Smoking is not on the table today and the only rule is don't put something in your mouth and set it on fire. The mental side. Is a mix, honestly. Some days I was so excited to not be smoking it didn't feel mentally tough at all, it felt like a wonderful free fall to freedom. No I'm not known for being flouncy in my descriptions lol, I genuinely loved the freedom and I hadn't ever considered I would feel like that. Some days sucked and I felt grumpy as all hell. But there it lies..."I FELT" it was only a feeling, a thought. For some reason I assumed it would be so much more, I was genuinely scared it was so much more but the reality is I would think something and then I could choose - would I carry on thinking about it or would I shout do whatever it needed to face that thought, simply tell it where to go or just distract myself with something else to do, End game, a thought can't do me any damage at all, smoking could really do damage in so many ways. I'd rather face a few bad thoughts then some of the illness I've seen smoking cause or the financial hardship I let it cause me. It became a no brainer! Plus that's what this forum is for. When you feel great POST, when you feel rubbish, POST. If you are having lots of thoughts POST or blog, or message someone you trust and let us carry you and support you. Ultimately I quit from almost 40 per day, for over 20 years and I did it - but these guys cheered and we love to do that for you or anyone who wants a quit. We "get the fear, the feelings" and we say jump! There will never be a right time. There will never be a point at which it will feel right. You are going to feel scared and excited at the same time. Jump anyway!! We will hold out a net :) Your slavery will soon be done by the sounds of it and what we offer is to support and help you find your own freedom from addiction to nicotine... you can have more self worth, more money, better health, less fear, it's fabulous!! For now though, no overthinking. You simply wake tomoz and don't smoke. If you want a patch or gum and it feels right for you, then fine. If you just want to get it done, then don't. Face tomoz, don't think any further. Wake choose no smoking today and post...I promise, you will feel good about it. xx

NOPE for me too. x

I'm so happy you had that Doreen. It's so important and sometimes it makes me a little despondant that I am expected to just keep going no matter what. With the quit I chose not to fulfil the champix as I came off it after 5 days and no one at the Doctor or clinic at the chemist phoned to check on me. That surprised me too. The odd thing is they think a clinic with somebody fairly useless is support. For instance, the guy at the docs does one morning a week, each appt is 45 minutes long so he can waffle inanely according to my Mum. All they do is suggest it's too hard without NRT and serve you that with a prescription - the chemist lady had never even smoked lol. Same line tho, patch and gum...or hey there's this new nicotine spray that costs £18! Not once did any professional suggest joining an on line group, or offer me one they knew of and yet here was my biggest save, especially when I SOS'd at 3am! Although I was showed a jar of tar (lovely!) nobody gave me any timelines for recovery, one of the things I held early quit was 3 days and all nicotine was gone - but I knew that through here and not the cruddy support of the medical profession. I was really shocked when I had a docs appt and said I quit for a doc to say oh what date, filled in the screen and moved on. Such a shame! But really why paying it forward is so crucial!

Lovin seeing you Doreen :) xx

Wow Pippa, I just ordered from ebay back in the day. Pips approach sounds better :)

Wow Sam, you're flying!! :) Told ya this site was awesome, but how can you explain the support without feeling it. Enjoying reading your blog. Remember if you want more interaction post on the main boards, everyone loves hearing from others and are here on this board to support and also get support. Is your cough going? By the way, don't worry too much if your sleeping goes a bit wonky for a few days at some point, it levels out pretty quick. xx

HI natalie, Cut back method of smoking, blimey, tougher then quitting and that's my honest opinion. For me, I would spend all day counting the hours and holding on waiting for the next cig. Gradual torture is correct but it seems less scary then a really real quit - but it's not. Here's why... your brain does it's nicotine reflex between about 20 mins to an hour after your last smoke, so from that point you have a craving. It starts mild and builds up (this is probably what's actually waking you in the night!). When you actually quit it's really not the same. Your thinking changes quite quickly. So instead of thinking when you would have a cig, you distract yourself and keep busy and the craves are less (remember now, as a smoker, if you are busy you smoke less don't you) so you just prepare some stuff to do so you think about it less and get the nicotine out of your system, hey presto, then there's less craves anyway and you just have to put in new habits, so when you would smoke you now do xyz instead. A load of guys and whyquit.com is also a great reading site that says it, advocate cold turkey. Others will say they used a patch, or gum, or zyban and so the list goes on...the truth of it is the fact you have posted here means you are really not liking your smoking habit at all. Totally understandable, it steals our health and money and we don't really even notice how bad it is in truth, until we kick it out and our thinking starts to change. A number of these guys also used a book you read while you still smoke called Allen Carr. What works for one won't always work for another so don't worry about a one size fits all approach, go with your gut instinct of what feels right to you. Welcome!! x

Fabuloso!! Amazing work lido Jengel :) Massive congrats, hope there's a happy day and no dog house for you :) x

Sooo bad, imagine if I hadn't been as determined. I do wonder how many people have slipped through the system thinking it was too much stress :(

Hey sus *waving*, let's NOPE :) xx

Wow, mine really were dreadful at the support thing. There is a stop smoking clinic at the docs, they do appts I can't make one morning a week as they all co-incided with school runs and my Mums appts on thursday. So i went to the actual docs, whose policy is not to support you unless you join a clinic. So I went to the chemist, signed up, asked for champix and they can only prescribe NRT without a doc. So I made a docs appt (again) and said I'd now joined the chemist non smoking clinic, but am alergics to plasters, inclusive of patches which is all they prescribe for those who smoked more then 30 a day and could I have a prescription now. I got sent back to the chemist who had to write a letter, that I had to take back to the docs to get a prescription to take back to the chemist to fill it. Unreal it was. I had to use the patch and photgraph the reaction as the chemist didn't believe me!! That was before I even attempted an actual quit!! EDIT to say all of the above process took 10 days as I was constantly waiting for the appts and letters and prescriptions. After I just think they were uninterested, just how long quit and fill in a screen. It was really stressful and I realize I am unusual in my situation of single mum and a registered carer for a disabled Mum but they all have to come before me and my health quite often takes a back seat but I was led to believe the NHS were keen to get you not smoking...not my experience at all!! Same docs are fabulous with my Mum and her conditions, just seemed like they weren't at all interested in whether I smoked or not? Mixed messages from the medical profession!

Thinking of you and your family Chrys. Shout up when you need to, we will be here for you. x

It's tough and I "get it". I took a prop (for me a crystal but you could use anything that feels right to you) to kinda balance me out - maybe try that? It helped to read it only takes 28 days of doing something to make it your new thing so it can be fixed quite quickly. x

Brilliant news Sam! x

Brilliant news Sandy but I didn't doubt you for a minute :) Exactly the right way to handle smokers and how to help them in my humble opinion. xx

nopety nope

Hi, I love that program too - makes me feel good about my house ;) How far along quit are you? You gonna post in the main quit smoking or intro bit so we can chat more? x

Ah wow, congratulations first off!! Wha fabulous timing with your quit, two reasons to hold on now. x