Still winning

At the behest of someone else, apparently this may help someone better here. If it can show someone you can still be a bit crazy and make it almost 6 months...well then it's worth me being nervy about putting it out in the real world. Taken from my blog today. xx I keep a journal and I was just browsing for day 1 thoughts and feelings as someone asked for ideas and found the poem/motivational writing I made myself to read by candlelight looking for additional strength, I sat and wrote it the first evening. I will never forget how I felt, a mixture of emotions both sad for what I thought I was giving up and how would I cope and utter exhileration that I might actually make it. Manic, Panic, I can't breath! Raging, pacing, Inside I seeth. Smiling, laughing, Can't quite believe! Nice People, Steep hill, I can achieve!! This time, this place, is where I see, I could always do this, I can be free. I'm scared and happy, kill or cure, I'll give it all to come out pure. Live for today, not tomorrow Only forwards, no failure sorrow. I can, I will, I shout out loud I own my body, I will be proud! It was fun to find it and apparently I jumped from foot to foot literally shouting nope - I wonder why the neighbours look at me strangely nowadays haha. :)

Nearly done day 6 Sam!! x

Oh Sharon, good grief it never rains but pours. How upsetting to have to go through all this before a proper diagnosis. What sort of timeline have they given for the medication to work properly hun? Massive hugs (sharon), torrid old time it's been for your family. xx

Keep talking natalie, it should be easing off by now. The craves last 5 minutes max. We can hold on for 3-5 minutes. Where you at?? And hugs for going through that! There are some epic positives coming though! 5 hours free, already healing your body and saving cold hard cash!

Shower, I could cry in there and no fire! Jump on the spot, scream nope. This first day it's such a shock. Keep talking. If you get busy and distract yourself with every bit of time that passes your power to say no thanks increases! Talk to us, keep posting. Scream, cry...PS buy extra tissues! You are healing your body, it's worth this time, trust that if nothing else. x

I keep a journal and I was just browsing for day 1 thoughts and feelings as someone asked for ideas and found the poem/motivational writing I made myself to read by candlelight looking for additional strength, I sat and wrote it the first evening. I will never forget how I felt, a mixture of emotions both sad for what I thought I was giving up and how would I cope and utter exhileration that I might actually make it. Manic, Panic, I can't breath! Raging, pacing, Inside I seeth. Smiling, laughing, Can't quite believe! Nice People, Steep hill, I can achieve!! This time, this place, is where I see, I could always do this, I can be free. I'm scared and happy, kill or cure, I'll give it all to come out pure. Live for today, not tomorrow Only forwards, no failure sorrow. I can, I will, I shout out loud I own my body, I will be proud! It was fun to find it and apparently I jumped from foot to foot literally shouting nope - I wonder why the neighbours look at me strangely nowadays haha. :)

shopping an epic win! Maybe calculate how much you'll save and buy something today and maybe again day 4/5 ish. Shoes are good :) Treats are great motivation. It's ok to feel a bit manic, a bit foggy...your body is confused. Just reinforce with yourself when you crave, I'm not smoking now and get busy doing something else. Post like crazy, everywhere!! We all did if we had a good quit. Interaction is really good and helpful. xx

also had a REALLY clean kitchen floor for week 1 :)

You tubed songs to help me day 1. Eye of the tiger, gold by spandau ballet, survivor by destiny's child lol - I was the hangin on by a thread quitter :) Nice now, if I hear any of those songs I smile. Remember you are doing this to be free of the addiction -each crave you pass by is one never to do again as long as you hold on now. Remember to smile too - you are doing it!! :) xx

I can't believe you are dieting lol, I was averaging 3 packets of chilli coated nuts at this stage...end up having to bloody wean off those in the end :) You are doing so great Sam, it's you doing it even if I just pestered you with quit train messages on day 1 lol. Really impressive to watch this. Your daughter must be super proud!!

Brilliant, do that. Some physical things you could do another time that I tried were clicking my fingers and switching from foot to foot...sounds silly, physical distractions really take the sting out of a crave and distract your brain. Way to pass a crave!!

It's ok to think of it, not ok to have it, smoking is not an option right now...so what could you do instead now?

Fab!! Easier to simply not think too much and get busy/distracted if you start to think about it. x

Lol, you'll be a crazy reformed smoker too :) Go careful with the advice thing, it can alienate some people, best is to let people and let them ask you questions I found. x

Nope'ing away here in the last day of school hols.

Happy birthday my lovely. Have a beautiful birth day :) x

Brilliant work from a top bloke!! Hope the house is settling better and you are enjoying your life again. x

Great work and congrats on 8 months of freedom. x

Hey :) Great news for you my lovely, I love love love the free fall happy quit. Plus gives you time to enjoy the last of the summer there. x

Initially the sayings - smoking is not on the table and you can do anything except put something in your mouth and set it on fire! Taking those options out forced me to focus on what I would do to cope.... Understanding that there was no physical pain to quitting. Don't know what I imagined as such, but I expected awful and painful. The reality was I just thought about whether I would smoke or not many times a day. I chose not to every time and the thoughts got less and less. Reading all the horror stories on whyquit. Education came later but the initial horror of reading people my age dying of lung cancer etc just because we chose to smoke gave me a right old kick to the gut and made a difference - educated to realize I was actually poisoning myself. Posting - I needed a brass band following me round cause I was simply astounded I was actually quitting haha. I smile now but every atta girl etc felt like a soothing balm. I don't get that support in real life (I am always the "supporter", not the suportee lol) so yeah, posting was big. AHA moments. There were two I think. 1.When it finally sunk in that all smoking was doing was fulfilling the need for nicotine from the last cig - it was actually not only addiction pure and simple but also slavery. It didn't sit well with who I believed I was so I changed and realigned myself. 2.In the midst of a snotfest caused by some brutal emotion or other (and quite possibly wine) I thought for a fleeting second that I might smoke and straight behind was the thought of "what's the point, it doesn't help".

Wow, that sounds really intense hun ((Chrysalis)). Your poor mum and poor you too. xx Sister smoking, use it to re-inforce your choice, your fight for freedom will not be marred by a sister who will cough and splutter and stink of stale smoke while being financially worse off. Don't over think it, she smokes, you don't. xx

The build up is more scary then the doing it. You simply take control, yes weirdly it's your own thoughts you need to control. I found once the decision had been made in my head that smoking was no longer on the table, I was forced to find other things to do. Ideas of things to do. Get a bottle of water, take sips when you crave. Hard boiled candy, by the time I'd finished a sweet the craving thought had gone and I could carry on with my day. Stock up on cleaning products :) Suck air through a straw if you need to do the habit thing. Repeat NOPE or a mantra in your head. Write down all the reasons you don't want to be a smoker and stick the list on the fridge. Write down a "treat" plan, at 2 packs a day that's a lot of money and treating yourself regularly is a way to look forward. One more thing people said and I paid no attention to but hey, I should have listened is physically move. A lot of people walked or ran or did some form of exercise when they craved and it truly bats the thoughts out much easier there. Keep posting. x

Hi Jen, how you doing? x

I am sorry for your smoking dream, those are tough dreams. xx