Stay on the train here and get the very best support you could hope for. It'll make a positive difference!
Not only do I not have a smoking spouse but I smoked for many, many years after my wife quit. I always tried my best to smoke away from where she was and she never said a thing to me as to whether my smoking bothered her or not - I suspect it did just based on the fact I stunk of cigarette smoke every time I came near her shortly after indulging my addiction. Like you she was smart enough to know that you can't persuade a smoker to quit until they make that decision themselves. I did quit when it was MY decision. I supose I owe her an apology for all those years I subjected her to MY smally smoking escapades?
In any case, hang in with us and accept all the support and knowledge offered within the pages of posts here. It will help you overcome your addiction once again.
Have a look at starting; or ending, every day with the NOPE pledge on "The Daily Nope Pledge" page. It may help to keep you grounded in your commitment to NOPE!
Hope to see you around with the rest of us Quitters