Hi Vince and welcome to Quit Train.
So you understand some of the harm smoking has already done to you and are concerned about what harm may have been already been caused but you still aren't ready to fully commit yourself to a life without smoking. You would like to but, you haven't really made that commitment to yourself yet - am I right?
Only YOU can do that Vince, We here have already done that for ourselves and turned our lives around so, it IS possible but the first step is to make that unwavering commitment to yourself to quit for good! Next step is to educate yourself about nicotine addiction by reading all you can here - there's lots of information available and even reading the posts from others who have made the journey helps a lot. Watch the Joel videos on smoking. Education is SO important in order for you to understand all the lies your addiction have been telling you all these years. Once you truly understand that smoking does nothing good for you and only takes, it will be a lot easier to leave it behind. We all "loved" smoking at one point Vince but now we know the truth about it and we guard our quits with our lives. I hope you stick around and take your life back Vince. It IS possible for anyone to quit. The beauty of this place is you have a lot of others who know exactly what you are going through and can give you unconditional support along the way. That in itself is a great quitting aid.