How long have you smoked for @kenzie_peyton? Think about how many times you have unconsciously conditioned your brain to believe that satisfying that horrible withdrawal feeling you always got after time passed from smoking you last cig. was indeed pleasurable. Dozens, hundreds, thousands of times over the years.
And when you got that first hit, your brain is thinking ... Ahhhh. That right there is conditioning yourself to believe smoking is "enjoyable". IT'S NOT! it's simply getting relief from mounting withdrawal symptoms setting in because you're addicted to nicotine.
When we decide to quit, we are telling our addiction; go ahead! Bring on the withdrawals ... do your best! I have committed to ignoring you and I know with time, those withdrawal symptoms will fade (because my mentors on the train have said so!!).
And yes; we all used smoking as a reward for all sorts of things and that's part of the reason quitting and feeling comfortable about it takes awhile. I quit in January when it was cold and snowy where I live. I wondered what would happen the first time I cut my lawn the following spring because I ALWAYS used a smoke afterward as a "reward". Turns out, by the time it came around it wasn't such a big deal afterall. Instead of lighting up a smoke, I grabbed a cold beer, sat out on my deck and breathed in the wonderful smell of fresh cut grass - something I could never smell as a smoker.
The very difficult times of your early quit do not last all that long in the grand scheme of things. Start making a concentrated effort to think of all the good things that quitting will bring to you and stop listening to the lies your addiction wants you to beieve.
Make a list and look at it often: Breathing better; really tasting your food again, smelling better to others, saving a pile of $$, not looking like some kind of outcast to non-smokers as you stand outside puffing away, and best of all ... FREEDOM! Freedom from nicotine running your life each & every day. That's HUGE!!!
We all enjoy those things and more as quitters. Why not come join us?
Oh yeah; post all you want. We all did when we were in the midst of our withdrawal days. We know how upside down life can be during that time. If you find yourself up at ungodly hours looking for something to do, go to the Games Page. That's a good place to waste a bit of time keeping your mind occupied