Sazerac

bump, you may want to read through the three pages of this post, it is really helpful

The addiction sometimes clobbers you with it's last heavy hitting barrage when you are feeling more established in your quit. This isn't unusual. Think of it as one of it's last dying clutches, the last of nicotine's hold on you. They come completely out of the blue and are without mercy. It is damn discouraging after all your hard work and after things have settled down a bit, when each day brings new confidence in your quit. I promise you, this is not indicative of how it's going to be for the rest of your life. These events do dissipate and fall out of your consciousness and they do in shot order. In reality, you can see what a futile attempt that was to woo you back to addiction. You are re-claiming all your receptors, one by one. One crave at a time. Some are bigger than others but, once they are under your control, they stay that way. Soon, you will be laughing their weaker and weaker approach, 'pffttt, get a grip, you batsard, you are an idiot, I don't smoke' Congratulations on your survival, Sslip. I love your quit.

The stark reality of the effects of cigarette smoking. This is no joke.

I know we cannot make the decision for you, we can only encourage you to stop lying to yourself, stop listening to the lies of addiction. Quitting Smoking is the only choice and you can do it. Look at all of us. We quit, we survived, we are thriving. Think about doing this great kindness for yourself.

Thank you for sharing your story, Miss Dixie. I think the strength of this site, along with all the pertinent information about addiction, is our collected anecdotal evidence. To read a story about a successful quit is really cheering and learning about how your quit was accomplished is enlightening and really helpful. People quit everyday and live to tell the story, it isn't that hard in the scheme of things. I don't want to make light of any of the struggles we may experience but, the rewards far outweigh any fracas. Congratulations again, Miss Dixie on your great accomplishment, One Year is awesome.

This is really good, Iml. Admitting that we are nicotine addicts is the crucial step and you are so right, everything makes sense when you realize how addiction works. Sometimes smoking hides other issues that we can deal with quite easily when the addiction is put to rest, often, issues are intricately connected to the addiction and untangle themselves as our quits progress. The whole process of quitting smoking, I and many here, have found quite enlightening. It has been interesting adventuring inside my head with a new, more truthful paradigm. Once I admitted to being an addict, I could no longer fool myself about other things. Addiction robs us of self esteem, self respect and destroys our trust in ourselves, all of which are quickly restored by living smoke free. This is a kind miracle, we were such wretches. "I need to remember this may be a lifetime battle for me.", Iml. It is a lifetime commitment to never take another puff but, it will not be a lifetime battle. Things get easier, it won't be on your mind all the time like it may be now. Your patterns will change, the seasons will come and go. You will remain vigilant, of course, and protective but, this won't be requiring the same level of ferocity. Smokey thoughts turn from full on aggressive horrors to aggravating gnats and then transform into vague fragments of dust you hardly ever see. Stay your course, You have already won the war, you quit smoking these minor skirmishes will soon fade into oblivion forever.

Look ! an inferno, spontaneous combustion like july fireworks. Now, all that is left, twirling column of smoky, mysterious ash. What ignited first ? Blood or bone, perhaps the thought, 'I'll have a fire now'.

Ugh

Iml is so right ! Get back on your quit. Don't let a slip turn into a relapse.

I can help a little bit. Put any pots up on pieces of bricks or shards of terra cotta to keep them off the decking of your balcony. This is actually my best piece of advice that will save you a lot of heartache. You don't want your pots to be rotting out the floor of your balcony. Hanging plants and window boxes over the railing are good use of space. Get a really good mix of dirt, compost, sand for your pots. Feed with appropriate plant food. Take wind and exposure into consideration Grow anything you want ! I always plant garlic cloves and eat the greens, even with low light on a fire escape. You can grow beautiful tropicals, Iml , herbs...sweet potatoes...hibiscus...everything ! I will look up the fantastic gardens in the Barbican in London....all balconies....all beautiful. here they are. Have FUN !

This is horrible, terrible news, of course. You probably feel like siht, in many ways and I thank you for posting. Sunny, it's clear you are going to quit and you Will quit when you Decide to quit. It is not impossible, it's a simple decision, I don't Smoke. We are a fabulous group and I know you will get all kinds of love from 'warm and fuzzy' to 'damn, that's a bit harsh' so, I will tell you, I'm not feeling warm and fuzzy about this, Sunny. Smoking isn't warm and fuzzy anyway. Smoking entails Freebasing a zillion life threatening poisons to satisfy Nicotine Addiction. Why would you choose this ? I ask this with sincere concern and compassion. You are a beautiful, talented woman and deserve great kindness and care, you do not deserve to be poisoned. I look forward to you making a commitment to yourself, a commitment to NOPE. You will and when you do, you'll find us, we'll be waving like lunatics, cheering in wild abandon because, we are on your side. I will always look forward to the honesty of your posts.

Oh, O ! Now, my lust knows no bounds . ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^and my nose trigger eau du kush. Yum. That is pure porn, O. My morning Magnolia is nice and all but, really...I can't compete with ^^^^^^ in (Ignorant Laws) Louisiana, dammit.

Congratulations on your 11 months of freedom, J.

Congratulations, Ellen on your five months of freedom ! Beautiful.

Congratulations Suz on your two months of Freedom. I am so glad it is getting easier for you, it will be easier still. Stay vigilant and protect your quit, it is a fine one.

A quitter I know is suffering terribly and I know so little about insomnia but, for the occassional sleepless nights. I know the basics, hot shower, dark room, no screens, palm of thumb tucked into solar plexus, meditative breathing (in through nose/out through mouth, count to 5 slowly and slower, let thoughts float away) Y'all will have more experience and competence in dealing with this issue, what helped you survive ? How do you settle yourselves and put yourselves to sleep ?

say it loud ! Yep round 3962. How do you kill an addiction. One crave, one minute, one hour, one day, one week, one month, one year at a time. Your trip for delicious salt is like Iml sitting with wine at the end of the day, like all of us at different times during our quits. Our body memories are bonded to nicotine addiction...it's nuts. Luckily, it only takes time and intent to learn how to live like a free person. love your quit, G, it's a mighty fine quit.

In the beginning, I naively thought thought nicotine was the demon. Funny that. My dna is all over that thread, many hundred pages back. I always liked the big O number, that was my favorite. In fact, on one of my anniversaries they let me have a bunch of big O's. That was sweet. I've been good and absent since I returned from hiatus. Still in it's defense, it is a great place to keep in touch, beat a crave, beat a stick, and hang out while you're saving lives. Truthfully, I don't even dare to lurk or read other threads about it (oh, wait...) It is safer for me back in the catacombs. Don't you tempt me you maniacs ! Sure, I miss the spankings, well, who wouldn't ? but, I am not your chick anymore, my - is a gone pecan.

I think all of us have one or more really serious times when cigarettes felt essential to the experience and these are little buggers to conquer. Mine was when I was working painting. I was often discouraged and it was affecting my work. I was breaking up a very long term pattern, painting and smoking were together for years ! Paul723 had encouraging comments on my blog entry, My Life as One Big Smoke Trigger, he said, "You are free, maybe you will see what your new better normal is on canvas. I bet you will like getting to know it" He was right. Iml, these are epic body memories and addiction binded them together. All you can do is live through it. Work through it while time works magic. Enjoy your wine even through gritted teeth for a while, even a forced smile encourages release of endorphins. In short time, you will claim your space back, that time will be all yours again, believe me. I know you hear us say, it's going to get better and that isn't great comfort when you are in the trenches but, you won't be here for long and you won't be here again, Ever.

Welcome Matty and congratulations on your quit. You can make the choice to stay quit and I hope you do. This back and forth with addiction is just too much battering and torture for anyone to endure, you must be kinder to yourself, M. We will all be cheering for you and helping you all we can. S

Here is a nice thick thread with lots of personal stories, please add yours., won't you ? We share many of the same obstacles that held us from freedom, it's often a comfort to know we are not alone in this. Addiction is a thief and threatened.. health, wealth, wisdom, self-respect....gah. It is a real joy putting ourselves back together and discovering new strengths, understanding more about ourselves.

More and more, I appreciate Freedom from nicotine. Nicotine and the chemicals in cigarettes was far more invasive than I ever dreamed. The empowerment, the commitment to personal truth has also been cathartic and transforming. I am a much kinder and trusting person to myself. I have genuine compassion. I don't deny the truth out of hand because I am an addict anymore and this has led to a metamorphosis in how I greet the world. Frankly, quitting smoking was the best decision I ever made in my life, bar none.

Read until your eyes bleed, watch the vids too. The more education you have about nicotine addiction, the stronger your resolve becomes. Let us know where we can help, Vinno.

Boy, am I late to this party, in three weeks you'll be Eight months quit ! Congratulations on your Freedom Sparkzzz !

yes yes yes