buMbLeB

Sorry, I missed most of what you said. :) ps you really are doing this, and it's awesome!

True dat. The idea that "your body knows what it needs" is only true until you start screwing with your equilibrium. It takes a while to reset, and learn how to listen again.

That sucks. ...hey, someone was gonna say it...

Nicola Hwy @ Merritt - I had to look it up just now, to be sure. Thanks for hearing what I hoped I was saying.

Upon reflection, I don't think my first reply was very helpful, maybe this one will be better... Let me tell you about my day - not today, a day that was mine from a long time ago, when I'd first quit smoking. I was about a month in, but since I only drive when I leave the city, this was still a huge trigger I'd not yet faced down. So I was off to visit my parents, a six hour highway journey into the interior of Canada's west coast. I didn't ever smoke around my parents, and so our visits were an exercise in deception - self deception, as I'm sure I smelled like a rancid camel. My usual routine was to smoke like a chimney for the first five hours, then pull over at a gas station to dump the ashtray, clean my car, change my shirt and put on aftershave. I know, sexy. ANYWAY, I damn near cried all the way. But the real treat was waiting for me on the way back, when I found the on-ramp strangely blocked by a service truck. I pulled over, and flagged down another traveller, who informed me that there had just been an accident, and the entire highway was now closed! I never found out what kind of accident can close a 6-lane seperated highway in both directions, but I now had no choice but to follow the fellow on a new back-road route I never even knew existed. Did I mention I like to drive at night? So it was already about 10pm when this all started. Things were going well enough that I passed my friend after a while - I have a zippy little car, and I'm a confident driver. My spirits where lifting when I came around the corner and smack into the back of a monstrous convoy of the most surly, grumpy truckers you've ever met, all of whom had also been forced off the highway onto this tiny, windy single-lane back road ahead of me. The road was so curvy that instead of our anticipated highway speeds, we were down to below 20 - and that's kilometres, not miles an hour. What should have been a three hour cruise stretched to over seven of the most homicidal, white-knuckle scream-driving I've ever endured, as the slowest trucks bottled up the rest of us for hours at a time, along with our rage. Then when a passing opportunity arose, it was carnage as everyone tried to pass everyone else all at once while not letting anyone else in front, to the point of endangering their life. You can imagine how badly I wanted to pull out and get a pack. You've probably guessed that I didn't (I'd be lying if I denied that part of my resolve came from not wanting to surrender the hard passing gains I'd made). But the point of this atrocious word salad is that it was THAT experience that made me think for the first time that I could really keep this quit, not just for a few weeks or months, but forever. Because if I could get through something that awful and not smoke, then every other day was just gravy. If you're only not smoking while things are going your way, then you're not really quit, you're just taking a break. I know this sounds preachy, and I feel bad about that. But I actually think it's an important concept, and one that makes a big difference. Good for you for not quitting quitting, and we'll start over again tomorrow. And the next time something goes all sideways, don't see it as an excuse to surrender, but as an opportunity to kick some ass.

Worst ending ever.

At the price of one super tasty quit smoking metaphor. Was it really worth it?

Me neither! In fact, I've never "NOPE"d on this board before. But if Mike's doing it, then me too.

Don't eat too much, you wanna leave a little room for being proud of yourself.

Hi Matthew! How does it feel? It doesn't feel like anything, really. It doesn't feel like constantly craving the next smoke that will reset the cycle until the next next one... it doesn't feel like a horrible, itching hacky cough that never really stops... it doesn't feel like strange pains in your lungs, back, and throat... it doesn't feel like huddling in the cold rain with the other nicotine lepers... it totally doesn't feel like that hopeless feeling that comes from knowing that you're hurting yourself for no good reason, but can't make yourself stop... NOPE, it really doesn't feel like anything at all. :) But why take my word for it? Come see for yourself.

I've also just now realized my negligence in not thanking you all for what was in fact a very warm and whelming* welcome - thanks everybody! :) *not overwhelming, just the right amount of whelm.

Hey! Here's something random - your birthday is my quitday, April 15... and you've just now been quit 4months 15 hours, by your ticker. Happy synchronicity!

Oh I'm well enough Doreen, thanks for checking in - just having a prolonged episode of "writer's block" that blurs into generalized procrastination. I'm wanting to put down my thoughts about one particular aspect of the quitting experience, and just trying to work up the discipline to get it out - maybe I'll use your tap on the shoulder as impetus... :lazy:

We don't know each other yet, but it was your brilliant comment that made me break radio silence, just in time to congratulate you it seems... isn't that convenient? Well, since I'm here anyways, congratulations!! That's a seriously great thing you just did.

I know a bit of your backstory, and you have done this under some less than optimal circumstances. 1 month is always a big deal, all the more impressive in your case. Congratulations!

Doreensfree suggested I properly introduce myself, and that seems fair. I've actually been quit for a good spell, coming up on three years this April, and I'm one of those semi-mythical one-shot quitters (knock wood!). I'm likely to be a sporadic participant, given my nature, but I have a few ideas about quitting that I think are worth fleshing out, and I'm hopeful that something I say might help someone. Hey, that was short... good for me!

Absolutely NAILED it. (I've lurked here forever, and the aptness of this observation compelled me to decloak. Well played!)