On the one hand, I'm really proud of you! You didn't smoke, and at the end of the day that's all that matters. Congratulations on making it through.
On the other, I'm a little terrified for you, and I'm not using that word lightly. You've had a fairly (relatively) pleasant quit , but I think that can make it harder to maintain the mental focus as the weeks stretch into months, and it's easy to start getting seduced. And of course it's always easier to get seduced when you're drinking. I myself had "one of those nights" early on in my quit, and I actually wound up with a lit cigarette between my lips. But I didn't inhale. Hammered as I was, something inside me stopped me at the last moment, and when I remembered the next day I was flooded with relief and gratitude.
You should be too, and if you don't feel it, I'd like to suggest that you meditate on that awhile. Read what Babs wrote above, and imagine - another twelve years!! What if you only had 10 left?
You dodged a bullet.
