Chrysalis

I enjoyed all types of (soft) porn until I became sexually active. Then the reality was so much better than the description, I lost all interest in porn (other than my own personal fantasies, of course!! :) ) So I conclude that people who love "50 shades" lack either a fulfilling sex life or a fulfilling fantasy life. So, no, I'm not interested in either the books or the movie.

Yes, we like Tater Tots, too! I always use them instead of frozen French fries. Humbled just posted a good recipe for Tater Tots Alfredo. I haven't tried it yet but it sounds delicious (although I would probably add some crumbled bacon. :) ) His recipe is here: http://www.quittrain.com/topic/2568-whats-for-dinner-part-2/page-18?do=findComment&comment=119510

Thanks, folks. I guess I don't know enough about Middle Eastern cooking or the proper words for things. What I like is a yogurt-based sauce with cucumbers like Pippa described. If that's not called "tzatziki" I don't know what it is called. Anyway, I made a sauce like Pippa's (with the garlic) and I added a couple of tablespoons of ground sesame because I like the flavor and the texture. The result was exactly what I was looking for. So thanks for pointing me in the right direction! :) Pippa, a couple of years ago I got friendly with a lady from Israel. I remember her telling me that she was delighted to find Telma falafel mix in our local grocery store because that is the brand that she used in Israel. It's actually made in Israel. That's good enough for me so that's what I have been using ever since (and I do think the Telma is the best). PS-- You know that this is imported because on the nutrition label, the "energy" content is given in kilojoules instead of in calories. Took me a while to figure out that 378kJs = 90 Cal!

Whew! You are my new newbie hero! You really understand the way Nicodemon's lies can screw up your quit. Hang onto that Sword of Truth and slay that monster! You're doing just great.

I want to make falafel sandwiches tonight. Anybody have a good recipe for the tzatziki sauce that usually goes with them?

You're doing great, Thyme2B! You are really rocking this quit! I think that it's perfectly OK to chew nicotine gum when you need to. It's much, MUCH preferable to smoking. Sipping on ice water and/or sucking on hard candy helps a lot to reduce cravings. However, in the long run you're going to want to develop strategies to reduce stress without resorting to the gum. So before you reach for the gum try some other relaxation exercise first. Try 4-4-4 breathing (breathe in to the count of 4, hold for the count of 4, breathe out to the count of 4, repeat as necessary). Or go for a brisk walk for a few minutes. Listen to you favorite music or practice chair yoga at your desk for a few minutes (here's one https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=barPap-8vnw&index=4&list=TLh0QnMG18cRn8iDlQfaS8V-6o89eCnLxv ). There are LOTS of ways to step back from the tensions of the day and calm yourself down. Try a couple of different ones and see which ones work best for you.

My husband really enjoyed the first 2 seasons and is looking forward to season 3 becoming available later in the month. On the other hand, we both love Kevin Spacey and that might have a lot to do with it.

Be careful, Tyme2B. The video/web site that Sharon linked to is about addictions in general, not about nicotine specifically. I can't speak for other drugs (thank heavens!) but you are not free of nicotine addiction within 3 months. At 3 months the symptoms are much, much better than they were after the first 3 weeks. The cravings, such as they are, are very infrequent and much weaker than they were. They are usually triggered by some event (i.e. holiday season or a new job) or a particular emotion (i.e., boredom, loneliness, stress, etc). I'm not telling you this to discourage you. I believe that if you know what to expect you can be prepared for it and weather it more easily. You're doing great. You have already kept your quit through the worst days and things will gradually get easier and easier for you every day. But don't be surprised if every once in awhile you get hit with a strong desire for a cigarette many months after you quit. It happens to all of us. Don't freak out; it's not permanent.

That's brilliant, Mike! You are absolutely right! The decision and determination to quit smoking MUST come from inside yourself. No "rules" or "methods" or desire to "please others" will make you quit smoking. I'm so happy that you finally understand this concept. However, I disagree with your next line: "Only I alone, can do this." No, that's not true. We and the resources at QT can help you. It's like being a mountain climber. Nobody can drag you up a mountain if you are just laying there as a dead weight. You have to WANT to climb the mountain. You have to work at it and have the determination and the will and the strength to climb the mountain. But to succeed you need to be part of a team. Sometimes other people pound in the pitons for you; sometimes they grab your rope to keep you from falling. And sometimes you pound in the pitons and grab the ropes for the others. Each one has to do their own work, but each one also helps the others. That's is how we quit smoking here. So now that you have discovered the missing ingredient (you!) start to use the resources here to help you succeed. Read "The Newbie Database", read the posts, watch Joel Spitzer's videos, and post helpful messages for other quitters (i.e., pound in some pitons for others). Stick with the board and decide that protecting your quit is your #1 priority in life for the time being and you will succeed.

Oh, good for you, Gem! You really showed some true grit by hanging in there and continuing to apply for jobs even though you were feeling discouraged and rejected. And wouldn't you know but --BANG!-- something came through for you. Try to take in that the key to getting this job was not your brains, your beauty or your experience. The key was your courage and persistence. We all need to review that lesson once in a while. Hooray for Gem!!

Good job, Rob! I'm so proud of you! One of the most helpful things to keep your quit is to recognize when a challenging situation is in the offing and then take steps to prepare for it. That is exactly what you are doing now and I applaud you for it. I'm sure that others will have lots of good ideas and suggestions for you-- I might think of some additional suggestions later, too. But my initial suggestions are: 1.) Write down at least 3 main reasons why you want to quit smoking. You started that here (i.e., "more productive at work" and "life is more enjoyable") but make those reasons more detailed and more concrete. How do you know that you are more productive and why does that feel good? What do you mean life is more enjoyable-- name one thing that you enjoy more now that you don't smoke. Write your detailed list on 3 or 4 pieces of paper and distribute those papers around. One in your pocket, one taped to your computer, one on your refrigerator, etc. When you feel like you might smoke, read one of those papers out loud and reflect about the meaning. That will help a lot. Remind yourself that these are the reasons that you want to quit more than you want to smoke. 2) Think about each of these situations that you so wisely described and plan in advance how you will handle it. Think about stress at work with the move. What are you going to do to dissipate the stress without smoking? Go or a walk? Bring your iPod and listen to music for 5 minutes? Log onto QT and watch one of Joel Spitzer's videos? Don't kid yourself that you will not feel stressed and anxious-- you will. The trick is to imagine feeling those things and plan in advance how you will handle it. Same if your roommate starts to smoke again. What will you do? How will you handle it? Lots of people quit smoking even though their spouse or roommate keeps smoking. You could search QT for helpful posts about that or just ask the question now-- how do you keep a quit when others around you still smoke? Then make a plan for what you will do IF your roommate starts smoking again. As I said, you're doing great! You're on the right track and taking the important steps. Stay close to the board, ask for advice and suggestions as much as necessary, and take the NOPE pledge every day to reinforce your determination. Way to go, dude! Keep up the good work!

Hey, Beth. How are you doing? Are you feeling better? Are you watching old 24 re-runs on Amazon? Drop us a line when you can.

Bakon, you're in luck! A friend of mine is the manager of a Sherman Williams paint store. If you move to Atlanta I'll put in a good word for you! As they say, it's not what you know, it's who you know. :)

She heard you. It may take a while for your words to germinate and bear fruit, but it will happen. You did her a favor. Keep doing what you're doing every time you meet a smoker.

Those recipes sound great, Humbled! The Alfred Potato recipe is really creative and actually sounds delicious. Thanks!

Good for you, Doreen! Good for you for getting yourself out of the house to do something fun. Good for you for getting some healthful exercise. And good for you for making such wonderful progress on your fitness. You go, girl! You're inspiring me!

Mike, you sure as heck had a really bad day. I hope it's a long, long time before you have another day as bad as that one! But, of course, there will be other bad days in your life and so the real question is, "What did you learn from this experience that will help you to keep your quit in the future?" Unlike most people here, I will say that for me, smoking DID help me to relax. When I was really upset about something, stepping away from the situation for 5 or 10 minutes while I smoked a cigarette did help to dissipate my stress and allowed me to go back into the situation and deal with it. Yep. Smoking did help with that. But you know what I learned early in my quit? I learned that the cigarette itself had nothing to do with the relief and relaxation I felt. The secret was to STEP AWAY FROM THE UPSETTING SITUATION FOR A FEW MINUTES!! That's all I really needed. If you're trying to fix a broken pipe or you're in the middle of an argument with your spouse, it seems crazy or pointless to suddenly walk away. After all, the pipe isn't going to fix itself. You've got to stick with it and bear the frustration until the damn thing is fixed, right? If you're on "hold" with the cable company for too long a time, you just have to stay there and tolerate it until they pick up, right? That makes you angry as well as frustrated. But if you're a smoker, it's OK to take a break from fixing the pipe and it's OK to say "f*** it" and hang up on the cable company so you can go have a smoke. You NEED a smoke so that makes it OK to take a break, right? Well, I'm here to tell you, yes, you do need to take a break. You NEED to step away from angry or unpleasant situations and allow yourself to calm down, let your mind wander, get some perspective. Absolutely. But you do NOT need to be smoking a cigarette while you do that. The cigarette is just the excuse to take a "time out" break when all you really need is a "time out" break. So in the future, I suggest that you pay closer attention to when you are reaching your limit for frustration tolerance (or fatigue or anger or any other strong emotion) and force yourself to walk away and chill out. Tell your wife that you've reached your limit with messing with the remote for today-- it will have to wait. Leave the broken pipe alone and wash the dishes in the bathroom tonight. Or whatever. You are going to chill-- watch a ball game, listen to music, read QT posts, build a ship in a bottle-- anything you can think of where you can clear your mind and chill out. So I suggest that you develop a plan for what you are going to do the next time you need to chill out. If you're not going to smoke (which you are NOT going to do) what are you going to do instead?

Tell you what, Action, if you basically like this guy I suggest that you print out the thread here titled "Irrational Behaviors of Smokers" and give it to him and say, "Hey Buddy! You want to read something really funny? Read this!" Or you could just email him the link and tell him it's funny (a sneaky way to introduce him to QT). On the other hand, if you don't like this guy just keep your mouth shut. :)

tan shoes with pink shoe laces what do you want to be when you grow up?

Yep. I bet that's pretty aggravating to hear. People believe what they want to believe regardless of any evidence to the contrary. Let's just hope that someday your co-worker quits smoking even if smoking does NOT cause cancer!

BAT, that's hysterical! Thanks for posting it.

Marti, I'm so proud of you! I mean, just LOOK at that mess of cigarettes! And think of what you are NOT now doing to your lungs and your heart. And to your kids and Chris, too. You go ahead and be happy, happy, HAPPY!!! You go, girl!

That's a good answer, Matthew, very good. But let's go one step deeper-- why did you want to have "just one"? What did you need at that time in your life that you thought one cigarette would provide? Please understand that this is a very, very important question. Your answer to this question could well mean the difference between success and failure this time around. If you have read Alan Carr's Easy Way book, then you know that smoking really does absolutely NOTHING good for you. It doesn't relax you, it doesn't make you friendlier, it's not a "friend" that relieves your boredom. These are all lies that are part and parcel of the addiction. For many of us, our brain continued to believe those lies for many months after we quit smoking. But they are Nicodemon-generates LIES! If you smoked 2 months after quitting, some part of you still believed that cigarettes did something good for you and you wanted to recapture that feeling. We call that "romancing the cigarette"and it's one of the most common reasons for people to throw away a really good quit. For a pack of lies. Such a shame! So based on your previous experience with quitting smoking, you know for certain sure that you CAN get through the physical cravings that last a week or two. You CAN get through the psychological/emotional cravings that appear and disappear for several months. But you have to be alert to your tendency to "romance a cigarette" because you know from experience that that can undermine you. And you also know from experience that allowing yourself just one cigarette will inevitably lead right back to full-time smoking. I strongly suggest that you view as many of Joel Spitzer's videos as you can. They are pinned to the top of the "Quit Smoking Discussion" forum and are a superb educational resource. For the "romancing the cigarette" problem, I personally benefitted a lot from his "Fixating on a cigarette" video. Congratulations on a great start to your last quit! Stick close to this board and take it one day at a time!

Hey, Bakon, forget those jealous, snarky salesgirls! I found exactly the right fashion statement for you. PM me and we'll arrange for a "private" showing. ;)

I think that it is very important to learn from our history and from our mistakes. You said that you have quit several times before-- once for more than 2 months. When you quit before, why did you relapse? What was happening with your quit? Was it being a constant struggle? What were you thinking when you relapsed? That you would only smoke one? That you couldn't cope with X without smoking? Were you living with a smoker and just resented the hell out of him/her? What was it? I'm a firm believer in understanding what went wrong in the past so that we don't make that same mistake again. What happened with you, Matthew?